Dismantling Evan (24 page)

I continue to watch Brody as he says defensively, “What? It’s nothing Evan. Let’s go.”

He starts walking up the rocky trail and I follow.

Brody and I catch up to Lia and Gavin just as we crest the edge of the trail leading into the gravel parking lot. The trail opens up and Brody takes the lead. The clouds above us have turned from white to a gray-blue filled with the heaviness of moisture.

“Might rain on us,” I say loud enough for the others to hear.

Brody calls back, “It’s okay. We won’t melt.”

Gavin slows a little and Lia passes him, keeping up with Brody. Gavin looks back at me, waiting for me to catch up. “It’s only a thirty percent chance of rain until 4:00pm, then the rain chance increases tonight to eighty percent.”

He says it so factually, like a robot, and without a sour face of frustration with the rain or smile because of excitement of the weather change; expressionless.

“Oh.” I continue to watch Gavin walk along side of Brody. The canopy of low branched trees ahead has Brody ducking his head here and there while Lia has no problem clearing them.

“What you said to Spencer...” I start explaining to Gavin “... that was really brave and chivalrous.”

A slight quirk of his lips into an almost smile gives me some hope that he is hearing me and feeling something positive.

Walking side by side, I notice a low branch ahead on Gavin’s side but he doesn’t and he walks straight into it. Gavin jerks back and reaches up for his eyes, releasing his Dr. Pepper to the ground and lets out a God awful yell. I react just as quickly with an audible, “Oh, shit! Gavin!”

My immediate reaction is to reach for him, pull his hands away from his covered eyes and see if he is hurt as badly as the guttural sounds he is making. I’m not thinking when I try to pull his hands from his eyes to see how badly he has hurt himself.

“No! Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me!” He screams over and over again, overpowering Brody’s and Lia’s yells.

“Gavin stop!” Brody yells.

I see blood start to seep from one of his hands and the yelling for me to stop falls on deaf ears. I have to help him even if he doesn’t like me touching him. I don’t care. I need to help him.

The more I try and pull at his heavy hand covering his bleeding eye, the more his yell turns to an ear piercing scream. Suddenly, one of his heavy hands strikes me in the middle of my chest knocking me off balance and to the ground. Gavin falls to the ground as well continuing to grab his left eye. I can’t catch my breath. Lia’s hands go to my shoulders.

“Oh my God, Evan. Are you okay?” Lia pleads with me to answer, but all I can do is nod quickly as I try and right my breath.

Brody slides to the ground next to Gavin, fighting the urge to pull his brother’s hands away from his eye. “Gav, its me! I’m not going to touch you!”

Gavin’s screaming calms to a wail, if you can call that calm.

Brody tries to hush Gavin then shoots me a look “You okay?”

I nod and try and make enough saliva to swallow and speak. “Yeah,” is all I get out and it is shaky at that.

My body and voice are shaking from the adrenaline spike. “I was trying to look at his eye. He is bleeding, Brody.”

Brody angles his head as Gavin bows his own, holds his eye with both hands now, and rocks back and forth. “Gav, I need to see your eye. I won’t touch it, I just need to make sure you are okay.”

Gavin’s wailing has softened more and he whimpers out, “Please don’t touch me.”

I am lower than shit that I have caused Gavin to sound so frightened and upset. “I’m sorry Gavin.” I say pleadingly, hoping he can hear that I am really sorry.

The sound of my voice only gives rise to his anxiety and his whimper becomes a low wail again. “No, don’t touch me!”

Brody yells over him, sternly now. “She isn’t going to Gavin.”

Brody looks back at me giving me a warning to shut up. I just want to bury my head in my arms and cry.

“Lia, you and Evan get in the car,” he demands.

Lia pats my arm and whispers softly close to my ear, “C’mon.”

She leads me to the car, her arms wrapping around my shoulders as she walks by my side. I try to justify my touching Gavin, “He was hurt Lia. I saw the blood and my first instinct was to check how bad he was hurt.”

She opens the door and I sit down in the front seat as she stands in front of me. “I know you were. It will be okay. Let’s just wait here for a bit.”

Feeling the soreness settling in on my chest bone, I lean my head against the head rest and close my eyes. The sound of shuffling feet on gravel, have me wide eyed again. Brody and his brother approach the car. Gavin’s hand is no longer clutching his eye, and I see that he has a cut that runs along his left eye brow.
Oh thank God it didn’t cut his eye!

My eyes dart from Gavin to Brody. Brody looks at me only for a moment, then looks down at the gravel as he and Gavin round the front of the car. Is Brody mad at me now?

I get up and lift the seat for Lia to get in, then flop back down in the front seat.

I flinch when Brody yanks his seat forward a little too roughly, letting Gavin climb in, sets the seat back, then flops down on the driver’s side seat.

“We’re going home,” Brody says, curtly, as the car’s engine roars to life.

The drive is silent; not even the sound of the radio to fill the void that splits the four of us from any form of communication on the forty-five minute drive home. I look down at the floor, making sure I have my camera bag and tote. I don’t remember putting them in the car. I guess Lia grabbed them.

I want to look over at Brody, to see if he is clutching his steering wheel, working his jaw angrily, or giving me the evil eye for causing Gavin to blow up like that.

By the time I gain enough courage, we are pulling into his driveway. As soon as he puts it in park, he hops out, flips his seat up, and Gavin and Lia climb out his side. Brody pushes his seat back into place and looks at me hard. “Come in.”

He doesn’t ask me, he tells me in a voice that says - if you don’t do it, I’m going to be even more pissed than I am right now.

I grab my tote and camera and open my door. When I rise to my feet, my legs feel like Jell-O, most likely from the fear of Brody’s voice. What is he going to say? That he never wants me to talk to his brother again? Never talk to him again? Is he going to tear me a new one for not minding my own fucking business? I wouldn’t blame him. I screwed up. I did something I knew I shouldn’t have... couldn’t do, even if I was trying to care for Gavin, because I do care about Gavin and his wellbeing.

Brody moves ahead of Gavin as he walks toward their front door and Lia hangs behind a little. “I’m going to head home,” she says like she is uncomfortable going into the house after what has happened.

Brody looks over his shoulder at her as he works to unlock the door. “K, see ya later.”

This is my chance to say that I should be getting home too, so I can just crawl under a rock and hide.

Like Brody has heard my plan to avoid him, his eyes dart to me as he pushes the door open and Gavin passes in front of him and goes into the house. I don’t take a single step forward nor backward.

His voice is even but strong when he says one word. “Evan.”

He isn’t just saying my name though. The voice in my head tells me what those two syllables are really communicating,
get in here, there is no avoiding this.

The Ferguson house isn’t what I expect. I mean, I’m not expecting it to be trashed or unkempt in any way, even though the appearance could use some help. Just thinking about that makes me remember that Dad does all our handy work and since Gavin and Brody’s dad isn’t here, there’s really no one to work on the house. Brody’s already in the kitchen wetting a wash cloth as I shut the front door. He wrings it between his hands, his muscles along his forearms flexing with each squeeze.

Not appropriate timing, Evan. He hates you, remember?
Idiot.
The way their kitchen is set up, there is a bar on the opposite side of the sink with three wooden stools. Gavin sits on one, shoulders hunched, staring down at the countertop in front of him.

I move into the living room, but stay close to the door and watch Brody shut the water off, shake out the hand towel and fold it over as he walks around the bar to Gavin. He puts the wet towel on the counter in front of Gavin. “Here, put this on your eye, Gav.”

He sounds upset with Gavin too. Shit, this is getting worse and worse. Now I’ve made Brody mad at Gavin.

Brody opens the refrigerator. “Want something to drink?”

I’m not sure who he is talking to.

“Evan,” he calls as he continues to look in the refrigerator.

Oh!
“Um, no...thanks.”

His question throws me a bone, like I am a welcome guest, but obviously I am not. Any moment now he is going to unload a ton of shit on me; how I know better than to touch Gavin; how stupid I am; how idiotic he is to think he could trust me with his brother; how I should just go back to California and leave him, his family, his friends the hell alone.

I want to be invisible.

He walks out of the kitchen and into the living room, sitting down on the rocking chair across from me. He sits his bottle of water on the wooden coffee table, sits back folding his hands in his lap, and stares at me.

“What?” I ask defensively feeling the pressure of his heavy gaze.

He looks sideways to where Gavin sits, eye covered with the towel now. “Gavin, what do you have to tell her.”

Shit, he was going to make Gavin apologize to me for knocking me on my ass for touching him. That isn’t what I wanted. “It isn’t necessary,” I quickly say hoping Brody will let it drop.

Brody looks back at me, “It is,” then over at Gavin, “Gav, do you want me to tell her?”

I start to ramble feeling the pressure Brody is putting on Gavin, “It’s fine. I shouldn’t have touched him.” I take the opportunity to talk directly to Gavin, “I’m so sorry Gavin. I saw you bleeding and I wanted to take care of you. I wasn’t thinking, I just wanted to help you.”

Suddenly, the front door opens and Mrs. Ferguson appears in the doorway. She looks at each of us, then asks, “Hey everybody.” She is carrying her purse and a grocery bag in her hands. “What’s going on?”

She does a double take a Gavin, noticing the slight red streak on the towel, “Oh my God. What happened?”

She puts her purse and grocery bag down on the empty chair next to Brody and walks around toward Gavin.

“Ma, I’ve got this.” Brody says, but she ignores him and walks toward Gavin.

“What the hell happened, Gav?”

All of a sudden Gavin gets up off the stool, and rushes around the corner down a hallway. Mrs. Ferguson follows after him, disappearing down the hall. I look up at Brody as he stands in the middle of the living room, his hands on his hips and his head hung low. I hear Mrs. Ferguson knocking on a door. “Gavin, open the door honey. I need to check on your eye. Gavin!”

Brody calls after her, “Mom, stop it.”

She knocks a couple of more times before she appears back in the living room, arms crossed over her chest.

A shit storm is about to hit, I can see it in her eyes, and I consider getting up and slipping out the door until she looks at me.

“Evan, what happened?” she asks, her eyes pleading for me to tell her what is going on.

Screw it.
“It is all my fault. We were out at Hamilton Pool and we were walking up the canyon when Gavin walked into a hanging branch.”

Mrs. Ferguson’s eyes widen and Brody tries to take up for me, “It didn’t cut his eye or anything.”

I talk over him, not wanting any help from him at this point, “I didn’t know if his eye was cut or not and my initial reaction was to check. I touched him. That is why he is so upset right now.”

She crosses her arms over her chest like she is closing herself off from everything I have said.
Brilliant!
Not only have I pissed off Brody, hurt Gavin, but now I am going to be shunned by Mrs. Ferguson.

Brody grumbles as he runs his fingers through his hair angrily. “It isn’t your fault, Evan, damn it.”

“Brody Ferguson, don’t you dare speak to her that way!” Mrs. Ferguson commands.

“Sorry, but Ma, it isn’t her fault.” Brody shoots back at his mother just as strong.

“Then whose is it?” I ask, utterly confused and at my wits end.

“Mine. It is my fault.” I’m surprised to hear Gavin’s voice as he walks past his mother and into the living room. He looks at Brody and nods, “I’m ready to tell her.”

For the love of God, what in the hell is he going to tell me?

Gavin sits down on the empty chair and Mrs. Ferguson comes to sit down next to me. “I am sorry for pushing you, Evan. I know...”

Hearing him apologize for something he has little physical control over has me ready to burst into tears for him and I want to stop him from talking. “Gav, it is all right. I shouldn’t...”

“Evan,” Brody says, gently. I glance from Gav to him. “...please just let him tell you. I promise you it will be good for him.”