Divine Misfortune (2010) (30 page)

Lucky had offered to release them, free and clear, from any obligation. They’d considered it. Said they’d let him know in
a few days. Lucky gave them their space, didn’t rush anything. Days became weeks. And weeks became three months. They still
hadn’t made up their minds when a package arrived, along with a note.

A little pizza goes a long way,
it read.
Your friend, Lucky.

The small, easily-ignored altar now sat in the corner of the kitchen. Every day they’d put an offering of food in the bowl,
watch it disappear, and collect the good fortune that came their way. It wasn’t much. Nothing as dramatic or noticeable as
having Lucky living in their home. But it made things easier.

“By the way, my sister called. She’s coming for a visit,” said Teri. “You might want to throw something extra-special in the
bowl.”

“I don’t think that warrants divine intervention,” he replied.

“Did I mention she’s bringing the kids?” She paused dramatically. “All the kids.”

Phil searched through the cabinets, looking for something special to offer to their god.

“We still have soda left,” she said.

“I think this calls for more than that. Last time, the youngest one almost burned down the house.”

“You’re exaggerating. He was going through his pyromania phase. It’s perfectly natural.”

“Maybe so,” said Phil, “but I still don’t see why your sister gave him matches.”

“She didn’t want to stifle him.”

He kept searching.

“Anchovies are on the top shelf,” she said.

“Thanks.” He found the tin and put it next to the altar so he wouldn’t forget.

“We’re going to be late.”

They jumped into their car and gave the charm instructions to take them to the party. The gathering was small, a mix of mortals
and fantastic creatures with a couple of gods as well. Quick greeted them at the door.

“Hola, guys. You made it!” Quick peeked behind Phil’s back. “Is that for me? I told you not to bring anything.”

“Just a housewarming gift,” said Teri.

“Nice place, by the way,” said Phil as he handed over the box. “Sorry we didn’t have time to wrap it.”

“Pictionary. Just what I wanted.”

“Hope you like it,” said Teri.

“Like it? I love it. It’s not a party without Pictionary.” Quick handed off the box to a passing shadow.

“Oooh,” said Ogbunabali, god of death, “Pictionary.”

Quick threw his wings around them. “I’m really glad you guys could make it.”

“Thanks for inviting us,” said Teri.

“Ah, I love you guys. You know that. Oh, and I wanted to thank you for referring me to that agency.”

“So it’s working out?”

“So far, so good. It’s a smaller outfit, not-for-profit. They offer favor for needy families. The tribute isn’t all that great,
but it’s good work. And just what I needed to get into the game again.”

He showed them to a table spread with food and slithered away.

Teri nibbled on a crab puff. “It’s funny.”

“No good?” asked Phil.

She chuckled. “Wasn’t talking about the puff. It’s just… well, I never thought we’d be hobnobbing with gods. And liking it.”

“Still feel like you’re selling out?” he asked.

“A little bit.” Teri leaned over to give him a kiss. “But I’ll get over it.”

A god of smoke roiled up to them. “Are you Teri and Phil?”

They nodded.

“We’re trying to get a game of Trivial Pursuit going. But Quick says he’ll only play if you two are on his team.”

The smoke deity pointed to Quick. The rainbow serpent waved them over.

“Wow. Trivial Pursuit,” whispered Teri into Phil’s ear. “These guys really know how to party.”

“Could be worse,” he whispered back. “It could be charades.”

“Thank Heaven for small miracles.”

Smiling, she looped her arm in his and joined the gods around the coffee table.

Lucky, in Bermuda shorts, lounged on the ethereal beach. The silver sand reflected the three moons hanging overhead.

The waiter brought Lucky the drinks just as Janet, clad in a bikini, emerged from the ocean. Lucky tossed her a towel.

“Right on time,” he said. “Hope you like nectar daiquiris.”

He put the glass to her lips, and she took a sip.

“Not bad. Though I think I prefer strawberries.” She pushed him over and sat on his beach chair. “I think that satyr was checking
out my ass.”

“Why shouldn’t he?” replied Lucky. “It’s the finest ass, mortal or immortal, on the beach. Except for maybe the nymph bartender
over there.”

She chuckled. “You do know how to flatter a woman.”

They clinked their glasses together.

“Next time, I think I’d prefer Tahiti,” she said, shaking the glittering points of light out of her hair.

He nodded. The Beaches of Eternity had become a little too rowdy. Gods and demigods pranced across the sands in drunken partying.
Dionysus noisily ralphed into a trash can less than twenty feet away. And the hotel didn’t even have cable.

“Do you think she’ll ever get over it?” asked Janet.

“Who?” he asked innocently.

Janet smiled.

Syph hid just down the beach, lurking behind an umbrella. She’d been less insistent lately, less obvious. Perhaps it was her
continuing inability to inflict any harm on Janet. Or perhaps it was the demands of her new temple. Either way, she was still
a semi-regular presence lurking in the background of their lives. Never interfering. Never getting too close. Just watching.

“Kind of creepy, isn’t it?” asked Janet.

“Less creepy than it used to be,” he replied. “Give her some time. She’ll figure it out.”

“Figure what out?”

Lucky leaned back in his chair. “Aw, c’mon, babe. Don’t make me say it.”

“Well, one of us should say it.”

“Be my guest.”

“I can’t believe that you’re having commitment issues,” she said. “It’s like me having trouble committing to a fruit fly.”

“A guy likes to keep his options open.”

She leaned in and ran her finger along his ears. “Oh, come on. Say it. You know I
love
it when you say it.”

“Relationship. Once Syph figures out that this is a real relationship, she’ll move on.” He grinned. “Although who can really
blame her? I am hard to get over.”

Janet laughed. She grabbed his hand.

“Care for a swim?”

“You just got out.”

“I feel refreshed. Must be the golden apple pancakes I had for breakfast. Just one more lap around the center of infinity.
You know you want to.”

“Oh, okay.”

Lucky and Janet dove into the ocean of stars.

“Last one to the edge of the universe is a rotten egg,” he said.

Together, they swam the backstroke across the heavens.