Do Elephants Jump? (38 page)

“Pardon my French”

Parking lots, sea gulls at

Parking meters, yellow “violation” flags and

“Parkway”

Parkways, parking on, versus driveways

Parrots and head bobbing

Parting of hair, left versus right

Partly cloudy, versus partly sunny

Partly sunny, versus partly cloudy

“Pass the buck”

Pasta

boxes, numbers on

foaming when boiling

holes in

Pay phones, collection of money from

Pay toilets, disappearance of

PBX systems

“Pea jacket”

Peaches

canned, and pear juice

fuzziness of

Peanut butter, stickiness of

Peanuts

allergies to

growth in pairs

honey roasted, and airlines

origins of comics name

Pear juice in canned peaches

Pears and apples, discoloration of

Pebbles, spitting by fish of

“Peeping Tom”

Pencils

architectural and art, grades of

carpenter’s, shape of

color

numbering

Penguins

frostbite on feet

knees

Penicillin and diet

Penmanship of doctors, bad

Pennies

lettering on

smooth edges of

vending machines and

Pennsylvania Dept. of Agriculture, registration, baked goods

Penny loafers, origins of

Pens

disappearance of

holes in barrel of cheap

ink leakages in

Pepper

and salt, as condiments

and sneezing

white, source of

Pepsi-Cola, trademark location of

Perfume

color of

wrists and

Periods in telegrams

Permanent press settings on irons

Permanents, pregnancy and

Perpetual care, cemeteries and

“Peter out”

Phantom limb sensations, amputees and

Pharmacists and raised platforms

Philips screwdriver, origins of

Philtrums, purpose of

Photo processing, one-hour, length of black-and-white film and

Photographs

poses in

red eyes in

stars in space and

Photography

color of cameras

hand position of men in old

hands on chins in

Polaroid prints, flapping of

smiling in old photographs

Physical exams, back tapping during

“Pi” as geometrical term

Piano keys, number of

“Pig in a poke”

Pigeons

baby, elusiveness of

loss of toes

whistling sound in flight

Pigs

curly tails of

pink hair color of

roasted, and apples in mouths of

Pilgrims, buckled hats of

Pillow tags, label warnings of

Pilots

and dimming of interior lights

female, dearth of, on airlines

“Pin money”

Pine nuts, shelling of

Pine trees, construction sites and

Pineapple in gelatin

Pinholes, on bottle caps

Pink as color for baby girls

“Pink lady”

Pink stripes on magazine labels

“Pinkie”

Pins in men’s dress shirts

“Pipe down”

Pipes, kitchen, shape of

Pirates

earrings on

walking the plank

Pistachio ice cream, color of

Pistachios, red color of

Pita bread, pockets in

Pitcher’s mounds

location of

rebuilding of

Pittsburgh Steelers, emblems on helmets of

Planets, twinkling of, at night

Plastic bottles, beer and

Plastic cups, shape of

Plastic deer ornaments on lawns

Plastics, recyclable, numbers on

Plates

repositioning of

round shape of dinner

Plots, farm, circular shape of

Plug prongs

holes at end of

three prongs versus two prongs

Plum pudding, plums in

Plumbing

kitchen, shape of

sound of running water

Pockets in pita bread

Poison ivy, grazing animals and

Polaroid prints, flapping of

Poles

directions at

telling time at North and South

Pole-vaulting

preparation for different heights

women and

Police

and crowd estimates

flashlight grips

radar and speed measurement

Police car beacons, colors on

Police dogs, urination and defecation of

Policemen and mustaches

Ponds

effect of moons on

fish returning to dried

ice formations on

versus lakes

versus lakes, level of

Poodles, wild

Pool balls, dots on

“Pop goes the weasel”

Popcorn

“gourmet” versus regular

popping in-house, in movie theaters

versus other corns

Popes

name change of

white skullcap of

white vestments of

Popping noise of wood, in fires

Pork and beans, pork in

“Port”

“Porthole”

Postage and ripped stamps

Postage Stamps

leftover perforations of

taste of

Postal Service, U.S., undeliverable mail and

Pot pies, vent holes in

Potato chips

bags, impossibility of opening and closing

curvy shape

green tinges on

price of, versus tortilla chips

Potato skins, restaurants and

Potatoes, baked, and steak houses

Potholes, causes of

“Potter’s field”

Power lines

humming of

orange balls on

Prefaces in books, versus introductions and forewords

Pregnancy, permanents and

Pregnant women, food cravings of

Preserves, contents of

Press conferences, microphones in

“Pretty kettle of fish”

“Pretty picnic”

Pretzels, shape of

Priests, black vestments and

Priority mail, first class versus

Prisoners and license plate manufacturing

Prohibition, liquor production of distilleries during

Pronunciation, dictionaries and

“P’s and Q’s”

Pubic hair

curliness of

purpose of

Public buildings, temperatures in

Public radio, low frequency numbers of

Pudding, film on

Punts, measurement of, in football

Purple

Christmas tree lights

paganism

royalty and

“Put up your dukes”

Putting, veering of ball toward ocean when

“Q.T.”

“Qantas,” spelling of

Q-Tips, origins of name

“Quack [doctor]”

“Quarterback”

Quarterbacks and exclamation, “hut”

Quarter-moons versus half moons

Quarts and gallons, American versus British

Queen-size sheets, size of

Rabbit tests, death of rabbits in

Rabbits and nose wiggling

Racewalking, judging of

Racquetballs, color of

Radar and police speed detection

Radiators and placement below windows

Radio

beeps before network news

FM, odd frequency numbers of

lack of song identification

public, low frequency numbers

Radio Shack and lack of cash registers

Radios

battery drainage

lingering sound of recently unplugged

Railroad crossings and “EXEMPT” signs

Railroads, width of standard gauges of

Rain

butterflies and

fish biting in

measurement container for

smell of impending

Raincoats, dry-cleaning of

“Raining cats and dogs”

“Raise hackles”

Raisins

cereal boxes and

seeded grapes and

Ranchers’ boots on fence posts

Razor blades, hotel slots for

Razors, men’s versus women’s

“Read the riot act”

“Real McCoys”

Rear admiral, origins of term

Rear-view mirrors, day/night switch on automobile

Receipts, cash register, color of

Records, vinyl, speeds of

Recreational vehicles and wheel covers

Recyclable plastics, numbers on

Recycling of newspaper ink

Red

color of beef

eyes in photographs

paint on coins

“Red cent”

“Red herring”

Red lights, versus green lights, on boats and airplanes

“Red tape”

Red Wings, Detroit, octopus throwing and

“Red-letter day”

Redshirting in college football

Refrigeration of opened food jars

Refrigerators

location of freezers in

smell of new

thermometers in

Relative humidity, during rain

Remote controls, men versus women and

Repair shops, backlogs and

Restaurants

coffee, versus home-brewed

vertical rulers near entrances of

Restrooms, group visits by females to

Revolving doors, appearance of, in big cities

Reynolds Wrap, texture of two sides of

Rhode Island, origins of name

Ribbons, blue

Rice cakes, structural integrity of

Rice Krispies

noises of

profession of Snap!

“Right wing”

“Rigmarole”

Rings, nose, bulls and

Rinks, ice, temperature of resurfacing water in

“Riot Act [1716]”

Roaches

automobiles and

position of dead

reactions to light

Roads

blacktop, coloring of

fastening of lane reflectors on

versus bridges, in freezing characteristics

Robes, black, and judges

Rocking in zoo animals

Rodents and water sippers

Roller skating rinks, music in

Rolls

coldness of airline

versus buns

Roman chariots, flimsiness of

Roman numerals

calculations with

copyright notices in movie credits and

on clocks

Roofs, gravel on

Roosevelt, Teddy, and San Juan Hill horses

Roosters, crowing and

Root beer

carbonation in

foam of

Rubble, Betty

nonappearance in Flintstones vitamins

vocation of

Ruins, layers of

Rulers, vertical, in restaurant entrances

Run amok

Runny noses

cold weather and

kids versus adults

Rust, dental fillings and

RVs and wheel covers

“Rx”

S.O.S Pads, origins of

“Sacked [fired]”

Sacks, paper

jagged edges on

names on

Safety caps, aspirin, 100–count bottles of

Safety pins, gold versus silver

Saffron, expense of

Sailors, bell bottom trousers and

“Salad days”

Salads, restaurant, celery in

Saloon doors in Old West

Salt

and pepper, as table condiments

in oceans

packaged, sugar as ingredient in

round containers and

storage bins on highway and

versus sand, to treat icy roads

Salutes, military, origins of

San Francisco, sourdough bread in

Sand

in pockets of new jeans

storage bins on highway and

versus salt, to treat icy roads

Sandbags, disposal of

Sardines, fresh, nonexistence in supermarkets

“Sawbuck [ten-dollar bill]”

Sawdust on floor of bars

Scabs, itchiness of

Scars, hair growth and

“Schneider”

School clocks, backward clicking of minute hands in

Schools, CPR training in

Scissors, sewing, and paper cutting

“Scot-free”