Do Elephants Jump? (39 page)

“Scotland Yard”

Scotsmen and kilts

Screen doors, location of handles on

Screwdrivers, reasons for Philips

Scuba masks, spitting into

Sea gulls in parking lots

Sea level, measurement of

Seas versus oceans, differences between

Seat belts

and shoulder straps in airplanes

in buses

in taxicabs

Secretary as U.S. government department head designation

“Seed [tournament ranking]”

“Seeing stars,” head injuries and

Self-service versus full-service, pricing of, at gas stations

“Semi,” origins of term

“Semimonthly”

“Semiweekly”

Serrated knives, lack of, in place settings

Settling in houses

Seven-layer cakes and missing layers

Seventy-two degrees, human comfort at

Sewing scissors and paper cutting

Shampoo bottles, notches on bottom of

Shampoo labels, “FD&C” on label of

Shampoos

colored, white suds and

lathering of

number of applications

Shaving of armpits, women and

Sheets

irregular, proliferation of

queen-size, size of

Sheriffs’ badges, shape of

Shirts

buttons on men’s versus women’s

men’s, pins in

single-needle stitching in

starch on

Shoe laces

length in athletic shoes

untied, in shoe stores

Shoe sizes, differences between

Shoes

lace length in shoe stores

layers on

of deceased, at funerals

penny loafers

single, on side of road

tied to autos, at weddings

uncomfortable, and women

untied laces in stores

wing-tip, holes in

“Shoofly pie”

Shopping, female proclivity toward

Shopping malls, doors at entrance of

“Short shrift”

Shoulder straps and seat belts in airplanes

Shredded Wheat packages, Niagara Falls on

“Shrift”

Shrimp, baby, peeling and cleaning of

“Shrive”

“Siamese twins”

“Sic,” as dog command

Side vents in automobile windows

“Sideburns”

Sidewalks

cracks on

glitter on

Silica gel packs in electronics boxes

Silos, round shape of

Silver fillings, rusting of

Silverstone, versus Teflon

Singers, American accents of foreign

Single-needle stitching in shirts

Sinks, overflow mechanisms on

Siskel, Gene, versus Roger Ebert, billing of

Skating music, roller rinks and

Skating, figure, and dizziness

Ski poles, downhill

“Skidoo”

Skunks, smell of

Skyscrapers, bricks in

Skytyping, versus skywriting

Skywriting

techniques of

versus skytyping

Sleep

babies and

drowsiness after meals

eye position

heat and effect on

twitching during

“Slippery When Wet” signs, location of

“Small fry”

Smell of impending rain

Smiling in old photographs

Smoke from soda bottles

Snack foods and prepricing

Snake emblems on ambulances

Snakes

sneezing

tongues

Snap! [of Rice Krispies], profession of

“Snap! Crackle! And Pop!” of Rice Krispies

Sneezing

eye closure during

looking up while

pepper and

snakes and

Snickers, wavy marks on bottom of

Sniffing, boxers and

Snoring, age differences and

Snow and cold weather

“Snow” on television

Soap, Ivory, purity of

Soaping of retail windows

Soaps, colored, white suds and

Social Security cards, lamination of

Social Security numbers

fifth digit of

reassignment of

sequence of

Socks

angle of

disappearance of

men’s, coloring of toes on

“Soda jerk”

Soft drinks

bottles, holes on bottom of

brominated vegetable oil in

calorie constituents

effect of container sizes and taste

filling of bottles of

finger as fizziness reduction agent

fizziness in plastic cups

fizziness of soda with ice cream

fizziness over ice

freezing of, in machines

Kool-Aid and metal containers

machines, “Use Correct Change” light on

phenylalanine as ingredient in

pinholes on bottle caps of

root beer, foam of

smoke of

“sodium-free” labels

Soles, sunburn and

“Son of a gun”

Sonic booms, frequency of

Sororities, Greek names of

Souffles and reaction to loud noises

Soup, alphabet, foreign countries and

Soups and shelving in supermarkets

Sour cream, expiration date on

Sourdough bread, San Francisco, taste of

South Florida, University of, location of

South Pole

directions at

telling time at

Sparkling wine, name of, versus champagne

Speech, elderly versus younger and

Speed limit, 55 mph, reasons for

Speeding and radar

Speedometers, markings of, in automobiles

Spelling, “i” before “e” in

Sperm whales, head oil of

“Spic and span”

Spiders and web tangling

Spitting, men versus women

Spoons, measuring, inaccuracy of

Sprinkles, jimmies versus

Squeaking, causes of

“St. Martin’s Day”

Stage hypnotists, techniques of

Staining, paperback books and

Stains, elimination of, on clothing

Staling of bread

Stamp pads, moisture retention of

Stamps

perforation remnants

postage, taste of

validity of ripped

Staplers

fitting of staples into

outward setting of

Staples

clumping of

fitting into staplers of

“Starboard”

Starch on shirts

Stars in space, photos of

Starving children and bloated stomachs

States, versus commonwealths

Static electricity, variability in amounts of

Steak houses and baked potatoes

Steak, “New York,” origins of

Steam and streets of New York City

Steelers, Pittsburgh, helmet emblems of

Steins, beer, lids and

Stickers, colored, on envelopes

Stickiness of peanut butter

Stock prices as quoted in eighths of a dollar

Stocking runs

direction of

effect of freezing upon

“Stolen thunder”

Stomach, growling, causes of

Stomachs, bloated, in starving children

“STOP” in telegrams

Strait, George, and hats

Straws, rising and sinking of, in glasses

Street addresses, half-numbers in

Street names, choice of, at corner intersections

Street-name signs, location of, at intersections

Streets, glitter and

String cheese, characteristics of

String players

left handed, in orchestras

Styrofoam coolers, blue specks on

Submarines, anchors and

Sugar

clumping together of

spoilage of

Sugar cube wrappers, slits in

Sugar Frosted Flakes, calorie count of

Sugar in packaged salt

Summer, first day of

Sunburn

delayed reaction in

palms and soles

“Sundae”

Sundials, mottoes on

Sunglasses and professional golfers

Sunrises, timing of

Sunsets, timing of

“Super” glues and Teflon

versus ordinary glues

Supermarkets

check approval policies

public bathrooms in

shelving of soup

Surgeons’ uniforms, color of

“Swan song”

Swarming of gnats

Sweating, swimmers and

“Sweating” and drinking glasses

Swimming

cats and

sweating and

Swiping of credit cards

Swiss cheese

holes in

slice sizes of

Switches, light

Syringes, hole in needle of

Tails, curly, pigs and

“Talking a blue streak”

Tall old people, rareness of

Tamers, animal, and kitchen chairs

Tape counters, audio and VCR

Tar Heels and University of North Carolina

Taste, sense of, in children versus adults

Tattoos, color of

“Taw”

Tax forms

disposal of

numbering scheme of

Taxes, April 15 due date of

Taxicabs

rear windows of

seat belts in

Teachers, apples for

Teddy bears, frowns of

Teeth, silver fillings and

Teeth direction of keys

“Teetotaler”

Teflon, stickiness of

Telegrams

exclamation marks and

periods and

Telephone cords, twisting of

Telephone rings, mechanics of

Telephones

911 as emergency number

area code numbers

dialing 9 to get outside line

fast versus slow busy signals

holes in mouthpiece

pay, clicking noise in

“Q” and “Z,” absence from buttons

rings, mechanics of

third-party conversations

three-tone signals

touch tone keypad for

unlisted phone numbers

windowless central offices

Telescopes, inverted images of

Television

advertising sales for overrun live programming and

cable and channel allocation

channel 1 on, lack of

“snow” on

sound of, in bars

volume levels of

Television commercials, loudness of

Television sets

diagonal measurement of

measurement of, Canadian versus U.S.

Temperature

babies and tolerance for high

cold water, kitchen versus bathroom

human comfort and

in public buildings

perception of air versus water

Ten percent of brain, alleged use of

“Ten-foot pole”

Tennis, scoring in

Tennis balls

fuzziness of

high-altitude

“Tenterhooks”

Tequila, worms in bottles of

Thanksgiving, Thursday and

“That’s all she wrote”

Theater, “legitimate,” origins of term

Thermometers

color of liquid in

in ovens and refrigerators

placement of

standing temperature of

Thimbles, holes in

Thinking, looking up and

“Third degree”

“Third world”

Thread, orange, and blue jeans

Three Musketeers, musketlessness of

“Three sheets to the wind”

Three-way light bulbs

burnout of

functioning of

Throat, uvula, purpose of

Throwing, sex differences in

Thumb notches in dictionaries

Thumbs-up gesture, “okay” and

Thursday, Thanksgiving and

Tickets, red carbons on airline

Tickling of self

Ticklishness of different parts of body

Ticks, diet of

Ties, origins of

Tiles, ceramic, in tunnels

“Tinker’s dam”

Tinnitus, causes of

Tips, waiter, and credit cards

Tiredness and eye-rubbing

Tires

atop mobile homes

automobile tread, disappearance of

bicycle

bluish tinge on new whitewalls

inflation of, and gasoline mileage

white wall, size of

Tissue paper in wedding invitations

Title pages, dual, in books