Doira'Liim (The Beautiful Whisper of the Goddess Saga) (28 page)

     Arizira smiled and let her hands rest on either side of Talliea's neck. "I said that you passed the test. You followed the tracks I left, Tah-li. They brought you here. When I shot at you, you did not delay in your movements. You did not panic. You quickly took cover and looked for another means of escape or defense. I am proud of you."

     Talliea felt a blush rise to her cheeks. Arizira's nearness was causing her a world of confusion and she could not stop the strong desire to get closer from coursing through her veins. Her body tingled and her heart seemed to jump inside her chest erratically.

     Smiling, she said, "I passed?" Arizira nodded, the fingers of her right hand playing with the fine hairs at the base of Talliea's neck. The smile on the other woman's face was beautiful and Arizira took a moment to just enjoy it. Smiling herself, she nodded and replied, "Yes."

     Talliea's smile turned into a laugh and she poured all of her upsetting emotions into it. The fear that Arizira had been lost to her had been very real and she let all of her worry drain away before stepping closer to the smaller woman. Before Arizira could object or move away, she wrapped her arms around her waist and hugged her tightly.

     A small gasp sounded from the back of Arizira's throat, but Talliea only lowered her head to the crook of her shoulder and neck and sighed against her skin. She could smell the forest in Arizira's hair and the heat from her skin was a temptation she could not deny herself. Reaching up with a hand, she easily brushed Arizira's hair away from her neck and pressed her nose against the skin of her throat. Trailing it down slowly, she felt the crazed beating at Arizira's pulse. The Arniran's hands were still on either side of her neck and she could feel the way they tensed in her hair.

     Being so close, Talliea felt her body and mind overtaken with desire. She could feel Arizira's breath and hear her uneven attempts to calm them. Breathing out through her mouth against Arizira's neck, Talliea tried to tell herself that she should move away, but she could not. The moment between them seemed to exist outside of time.

     She grazed her nose up the side of Arizira's neck until it brushed along the underside of her ear. She felt the hands in her hair tighten again and the gesture only acted to spur her on. Moving her own hands down Arizira's waist, she sighed when they came to rest on slender hips. With her nose still so near to Arizira's ear, Talliea rubbed a small circle along the lobe with her nose and smiled when she heard a sharp intake of breath.

     Her heart was beating faster than she could ever recall and the wetness between her legs became more noticeable. Tilting her head up, she let her lips brush across Arizira's ear before letting out another sigh of contentment. This felt right to her. She felt as if she was where she was always meant to be. The wind was cold and the climate chilled, but she did not notice either.

     The only things she could feel were centered around Arizira. She could feel her breath. She could feel her hands in her hair, tightening around her neck. She could feel the warmth of her body so close to her own. She could feel her skin beneath her lips and the perfect way her hips fit against her hands.

     Swallowing nervously, she turned her head toward Arizira's face and let her nose graze the softness of her cheekbone. Her right hand trailed around the front of Arizira's body and splayed across her stomach. She did not know from where such boldness in herself came. All she knew was that her actions felt right. They felt familiar.

     They felt unbelievably good.

     Arizira made not a move. She remained as still as she could maintain and tried to focus on remaining upright. Talliea's actions were unexpected but they were in no way unwanted. She tried to convince herself that her friend was only hugging her, but she knew it was more. She could
feel
that it was more.

     Talliea's nose moved across Arizira's cheek before coming into contact with the slope of the other woman's nose. Breathing for each woman was more erratic and heavy and Talliea could practically taste Arizira's lips, so close they were to her own.

     She remembered the anticipation from the first dream she'd ever had about Arizira. What she currently felt was so much more and so much better than that dream. Opening her eyes, though they remained somewhat hooded, Talliea looked into Arizira's and hoped to see her own feelings mirrored in them. Despite how good her actions felt, she knew she could not go any further unless Arizira also desired it.

     She was not disappointed when her brown eyes met the soft, glowing blue of her companion's. Everything she was feeling--however chaotic, unsure, and confusing they were, was staring back at her with equal strength. Also in those blue eyes, she could see respect, trust, and something else...something stronger. She lowered her eyes to Arizira's lips and unconsciously licked her own. She had very little experience when it came to kissing another person. Markahn had never taken the time to teach her and she was unsure if there was a proper way of going about it. He had always pressed his mouth to hers while trying to force his tongue through her lips.

     Despite her inexperience, Talliea did not feel unsure of herself in this moment. She felt confident and that, again, surprised her. Trailing her hand from Arizira's stomach to her jaw, she tenderly trailed her fingers across the bone before lowering her head enough to reach Arizira's lips. The other woman's mouth was slightly opened and she could feel her ragged breaths meeting her lips. She parted her own lips with her tongue and moved forward the small space still distancing them.

     "Tah-li..." Arizira breathed out.

     Before their lips could touch, the sound of a wolf howling broke both of them out of their trance and, almost immediately, their surroundings came rushing back to them. The cold of the weather pricked at them through their thick jerkins and the wind, having seemed to them to be nonexistent, brushed around both of them and moved through their hair.

     Still standing close, Talliea closed her eyes and leaned her head against Arizira's. She let out a heavy breath and swallowed her apprehension. Arizira remained as silent as before. After a brief moment, Talliea sighed and stepped away, offering a nearly bashful smile in Arizira's direction. She looked around them and saw, quite easily, a white wolf staring back at her from across the forest. The lupine creature was sitting between two trees with its intense blue eyes taking in her frustrated appearance. She remembered seeing the wolf before and turned to her friend who was affixing her bow to her back.

     "Ari, look," she said, turning back toward the wolf and pointing in the direction she'd seen it sitting. Arizira, hands moving with less grace than normal, turned to where Talliea was pointing and peered through the trees. "I see nothing," she said, straightening her jerkin and pulling the hood of her cloak back over her head. "We should return, Tah-li. The weather is turning ill and will soon be against us."

     Talliea felt Arizira walk around her. She couldn't understand where the wolf had gone! She had seen it! Not once, but twice. It had been there! Watching Arizira walk away in the direction of their camp, she licked her lips again and sighed, the wolf quickly forgotten.

     She had nearly kissed Arizira. She was sure the other woman had wanted her to. She was certain Arizira had felt what she did. What did that mean for them, exactly? Did Arizira have feelings for her as well? If so, why did she now seem so upset?

     Pulling her own hood over her head of thick black hair, Talliea moved to catch up to her more agile companion. One thing she knew for certain: things were different between them now after what had just nearly happened.

     What she couldn't decide was whether or not that change was going to prove to be good or bad.

                                                        Chapter 20: Union

     Arizira entered the cave and easily stepped over the fire pit sitting near the entrance. Heading deeper toward the back where their bedding was, she swung her bow and quiver from over her shoulder and leaned them each against the wall of the cave. Her body was still humming with what had just happened, or nearly happened. Every sense she possessed could still see, feel, and smell Talliea. Her mind was busy jumping from one thought or question to another. She barely had time to think on one before another was vying for her attention.

     Did Talliea have feelings for her? If the wolf had not howled and interrupted them, would they have kissed?

     Arizira wanted to believe that, but how could she risk herself if Talliea was only looking for some type of physical comfort. Matters were still in the air on what exactly their plans were, and Arizira could not fully give her heart away if there was the chance of some future separation. If Talliea ever chose to return to her people, Arizira did not think she could survive it if the two of them ever were to be intimate.

     There were too many uncertainties and unknowns. All she knew, without any confusion, was that she had never, in her entire life, felt more alive and aware than when Talliea had been so close to her. The feeling of her breath against her neck and her lips against her ear had nearly stilled Arizira's heart and stopped her breathing. Her entire body had tingled and she had never felt more sure of anything.

     Slipping her sabres from their bonds and her gloves from her hands, she carelessly tossed the items next to her bow and started to pace. She could feel tears threatening to escape but could not understand the emotions behind their birth. With her hands on her hips, she continued to pace while she tried to calm her mind. Words whispered through her lips but she could not remember calling them into existence.

     "Ari?" Talliea's voice and the sound of her approach barely registered for Arizira.

    
"Sa, sa. Rei'sa. Tai sa'li, failira. Tai sa'li. Rei'sa yi hisulir ri eth'ri'jas."
Arizira's words came out in Arniran, her emotional upset causing her to fall back to her first tongue. Had they been translated, their meaning would have expressed Arizira's sorrow. She was telling Talliea that she could not, that they could not. She was telling her she could not be a prisoner to her heart.

     Talliea stopped in front of Arizira and held out her hands in a placating gesture. She'd never heard Arizira speak her language other than a few words here or there when she could not form them in Esulan. She vaguely remembered her speaking to her before they'd overcome the language barrier, but the melodic sound of her voice seemed to be the only thing Talliea could recall.

     Hearing that voice now, so obviously distraught, only seemed to make the words, though they were not understood, all the more beautiful to her. "Ari, I can not understand. I-I'm sorry. I should not have done what I did. It obviously upset you. Forgive me, please? You must not feel for me what I feel for you. I have tried to deny myself. I have sought to give other names to this attraction because the depth of it has frightened me, but back in the forest I could no longer keep what I felt to myself. I misread matters. I am sorry"

     Arizira stopped pacing and took a deep and calming breath. Licking her lips in a nervous gesture, she turned to meet Talliea's eyes. Her words, her declarations, had been the truth she had been searching for. Talliea
did
feel something for her. Whether that emotion was love or admiration, Arizira could not guess. She could tell from the way Talliea had spoken that what she felt was strong, confusing, and overpowering to her.

     "Ari...Ahmanae...we can forget that it happened, okay? We are as different as night and day and I was wrong to approach you as I did. You have been my friend. You have been my savior. Y-you offered to help me, a stranger...a myth...and I have repaid you with this discomfort."

     Arizira could not believe that Talliea was placing blame upon herself. There was no blame to begin with. Talliea's advance had not upset her, despite her mind trying to convince her that it had. Everything she had been feeling for Talliea had been set free when they had been so close to one another. No, Talliea had not caused her any sort of discomfort. She had not misread their situation nor had she done anything Arizira had not wanted to do herself.

     Opening her mouth, she stopped her friend from saying anymore. "This is not discomfort, Tah-li. What...what you did, what we nearly did..." Talliea bit her lip as she waited for Arizira to finish her sentence. Her eyes were wide and unsure and her breath was tight in her chest.

     "I wanted you to kiss me," Arizira finished, holding Talliea's gaze.

     Releasing a heavy breath, a relieved smile broke out across Talliea's face and she stepped forward to get closer to Arizira. The smile fell away when she noticed Arizira take a step back at her approach.

    
"Sa,"
Arizira said, using her people's word for no,  though her voice was small and lacking the strength she would have preferred. Talliea's face fell and she felt as if her heart had been impaled with a sharp dagger. She could not understand why Arizira was denying them.

     "Why?" she asked simply in a broken voice. She did not need to understand Arniran to know Arizira's intent. "Do you not have feelings for me? Is it because I am Esu?"

     Tears, no longer able to keep themselves from falling, fell past Arizira's eyelids and slid down her face in heavy tracks. Shaking her head, she swallowed painfully again and tried to get her voice to cooperate with her. "I can not do this, Tah-li. I can..I-I can not be your guide in this, as I have been in everything else."