Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook (34 page)

Suspending a heavy weight from a woman’s nipples or
labia can often be far more difficult than it looks.   The difficulty
arises when a suspended mass becomes heavy enough to force the clamp or clip to
slip off of its
moorings.
  To combat this unfortunate tendency, it
often becomes necessary to use clamps or clips with
non-slip gripping
surfaces
, which usually means
teeth
or something similar. 
This, of course, creates a whole
new
set of potential problems involving
the triple-threat combination of great weight, sharp teeth, and sensitive body
parts, which can result in ripping, tearing or lacerations.

When it comes to males, the natural silhouette of
the scrotum makes hanging things from them a little
simpler
, if not
safer
. 
Rings and testicle cuffs made of metal, rubber, PVC or leather are often used
for this purpose, but the CBT (cock and ball torture) toy that is specifically
designed for suspending weights from the scrotum is called a
parachute.
 A
parachute is a small, conically-shaped device, typically made of leather, which
attaches around the scrotum.  Around its hem, there are usually short
lengths of chain dangling, which gives it the appearance of a
tiny leather
parachute,
and hence its name.  There are many variations available on
the market, including some designed and marketed specifically as
ball-stretchers.
 

The safety concerns previously mentioned for clamps,
clips and vices apply equally, if not more so, to any play involving the suspension
of heavy weights to the nipples, labia, scrotum or any other vulnerable body
part.

Heat & Cold

Sensation play involving heat or cold rarely
requires any specialized toys or equipment.  The most common forms of play
in this category consist of ice-cube play, ice dildo play, ice water torture,
hot water torture, hot surface torture and, to a lesser extent, fire
play.  Its appeal has little or nothing to do with heat.

Heat and cold in small amounts and for short periods
of time are relatively harmless.  It is only when your activities cross
the boundaries of common sense that they can become problematic and potentially
lethal.  Running an ice cube over someone’s nipples or clit? 
Good.
 
Leaving a nine-inch ice dildo in someone’s ass? 
Bad.
 A
little ice water on sensitive body parts? 
Good.
  A chunk of
dry
ice
on sensitive body parts? 
Bad. 
Water hot enough to
give the skin a nice rosy hue? 
Good.
 Water that is hot
enough to scald and cause blistering?
 Bad.
 A little common
sense goes a
long way
when it comes to this kind of play.

You should always be cognizant of the signs of
hypothermia
(low core body temperature, shivering, mental confusion), as well as
hyperthermia
(high core body temperature, hot dry skin, nausea, vomiting, headache,
dizziness).  Both conditions are potentially life-threatening, and can
develop relatively quickly and easily under artificially cold or hot
conditions.  Additionally, some of the normal functions of our bodies can
be severely disrupted by being exposed to abnormal temperature ranges for more
than a very short span of time.  For example, an ice cube in the rectum
may be relatively harmless, but an ice dildo left too long in there can cause a
week of severe pain, cramping, diarrhea, and rectal bleeding.

Abrasion

Abrasion play is relatively uncommon in the BDSM
lifestyle, though it has enjoyed a small surge in popularity as people seek out
new and unique tactile experiences.  Abrasion play consists of using
rough-textured objects or surfaces to rub or abrade the skin in such a way that
it produces desired sensations in the subject.  Anyone who has ever gotten
a skinned knee as a child knows that even a small abrasion can create some
pretty
intense sensations. 
Abrasion play generally falls into two basic
categories.  There’s abrasion play that is done purely for the sake of
producing
pain or sensitivity
in a localized region, and there’s the
kind of abrasion play that is
pleasurable or even therapeutic. 
Of
course, most masochists would argue that pain and sensitivity are
the very
definition
of pleasurable and therapeutic.

Similarly to heat and cold sensation play, abrasion
play requires little or no specialized equipment or toys.  For the most
part, the only thing needed is an adequately rough surface to rub against your
subject’s skin.  Examples can include sandpaper, steel wool, pot
scrubbers, cleaning brushes, toothbrushes, Emory boards, nail files, rasps, or
even your own fingernails.  The concept is really quite simple: rub, rasp
or scratch the subject’s skin until it becomes sensitive, raw, or
painful.  This can be an end in itself, or a means to other ends, such as
serving as a precursor to impact play, violet wand play, or other activities.

A
therapeutic
form of abrasion play that I
happen to enjoy is one that is practiced widely in Asia to treat aches and
pains, chills, and various minor illnesses.  Since the practice lacks an
English-language name that I’m aware of, I simply refer to it as “
coin
striping.”
 It typically consists of having a subject lie on his or her
stomach, disrobed from the waist up.  The Top takes a quarter, and applies
a small dab of mentholated oil or muscle rub
(such as Ben Gay or Icy Hot)
to
either the coin or to a spot on the subject’s back.  Then, gripping the
coin firmly, he rubs the dab of liniment into the skin using the corrugated
edge of the quarter.  The quarter is drawn repeatedly in a long steady
motion across the skin
in one direction only
, along the same path in
such a way that, after about a dozen passes, a
bright red line
begins to
appear on the skin.  Stop abrading that line when it’s glowing red, but
before
it begins to rupture the skin.  Choose another spot about an inch from the
first line, and repeat the process, creating another parallel red stripe across
the back in the same fashion.  Continue until the entire back is covered
in glowing red stripes.  The visual effect of the stripes can last
anywhere from one to four days, depending on the subject’s skin type and
resiliency.

Some people enjoy creating intricate and attractive
patterns in this fashion.  The edge of the quarter forces the mentholated
oils through the skin, and each stripe produces a
hot
sensation that
lasts several hours.  When the entire back is covered in coin stripes, the
subject will usually feel toasty warm all night long, which can be particularly
soothing for anyone with chills, aches, or pains.  In many parts of Asia,
people pay for professional treatments of this sort in much the same way they
go for massages, acupuncture, or cupping.  The procedure is rare enough in
the U.S. that the sight of your red stripes may elicit some concerned reactions
from some people.  After all, it
looks
as if a scurvy pirate has
tied you to the ship’s mainsail mast and given you fifty lashes.   I
usually recommend that anyone who will be going to see a doctor within the next
few days delay their abrasion play until after their appointment!

The safety concerns related to abrasion play are
minimal, with the main worry being infection.  The wider the area of skin
that is rubbed raw, the greater the possibility will be of harmful bacteria
passing through the distressed skin and into the bloodstream.  The Top
should always wash his hands thoroughly with a strong antibacterial soap and
sanitize the bottom’s back with an alcohol or peroxide wipe prior to the
procedure.  Any stripes that result in breaks in the skin should be
treated as open wounds to prevent the transmission of disease or infection and
to promote healing.

Irritants

Irritant play isn’t something you
hear
about
very often and, even when you do, it’s rarely referred to as such.  Even
so, it’s a fairly common form of sadomasochistic play which usually involves
creating pain or discomfort to sensitive parts of the body by applying
substances like Tabasco sauce, toothpaste, hot peppers, wasabi, chili powder,
ginger root, peppermint oil, clove oil, citrus oil, witch hazel, and other
irritants. 

Sometimes, a specific substance develops a wide
following and gets a name all its own.  One example is
figging
,
which is the practice of inserting a freshly peeled
ginger root
into the
anus or vagina.  The ginger is typically carved into a dildo or butt-plug
shape and, when inserted, produces a tingly warm sensation which gradually
grows in intensity until it becomes painful.  Figging can also be combined
in various ways with other forms of play to intensify the sensations.  Any
activity that causes involuntary constrictions or spasms of the vagina or anus
(such as occurs during orgasm) will squeeze the ginger, producing a rush or heat,
tingling or pain.  The sensations associated with figging typically last
15-20 minutes before they begin to fade. 

When it comes to safety, irritants can be as safe or
as dangerous as their potential for misuse.  You should attempt to
differentiate between the water-soluble substances and the oil-based
irritants.  That way, you know best how to
remove
them if they
become excessively painful or begin to cause tissue damage.   Certain
oils, such as pepper oil, cinnamon oil, clove oil, and mentholated oil can
cause significant damage to sensitive tissues if used in concentrated form or
left on for too long.  When using an irritant for play for the first time,
you should test it out in diluted form, preferably first on normal healthy
skin, then abraded or sensitive skin, and lastly on exterior then interior
mucous membranes.  Many irritants have a specific counter-agent that
immediately
counteracts its effects.  One example is using
boric acid
to
immediate counteract the effects of hot peppers.  Do a little research to
learn if the irritant you plan on using has a counteracting agent.  For
the ones that don’t, it might be a good idea to keep some soapy lukewarm water
and a washcloth nearby, just in case the irritant needs to be removed very
quickly.  No one who is screaming her safe word along with,
“Get it off
me now!”
wants to hear you say, “I
might
have a bucket somewhere in
the garage,
let me go see.”
 

Speaking of soap and water, I highly recommend that you
wash your hands thoroughly after handling irritants like hot peppers, wasabi or
Tabasco sauce.  It’s terribly easy to forget where those fingers have been
before absent-mindedly wiping your eyes with them; a mistake that would not
only be an
epic buzzkill
, but could seriously undermine any credibility
as a Top that you might have had.

Finally, you should be cognizant of any
allergies
your bottom might have, including
food allergies. 
It might be
tempting, for example, to assume that a food allergy would only be a problem if
the substance is
eaten;
however an allergic reaction can often be
triggered by exposure of the substance to the mucous membranes.  

Cupping

Cupping,
like
coin-striping and acupuncture
, is another Asian therapeutic
practice that has recently been adopted by the BDSM culture and become
immensely popular.  The practice, which has been around for thousands of
years, involves the use of
cups
in which a partial vacuum is produced by
heat, flame, or suction in order to draw a ball of the subject’s flesh up into
the cup.  The procedure is most often performed on the subject’s back;
however, it can be done to just about any fleshy part of the body.  Quite
often, the subject’s entire back will be covered with these “suction cups”, which
are typically made of glass.

The two basic types of cupping are
dry cupping
and
wet cupping
.  Dry cupping, or cupping that doesn’t involve any
breaks in the skin, is practiced throughout Asia and parts of Europe for its
relaxing, therapeutic sensations, which are similar to getting a deep-tissue
massage.  Wet cupping, or cupping that involves blood-letting, is
practiced in many cultures as a way of “drawing toxins” out of the body, a
dubious medical claim at best.  Due to increasing concerns and awareness
of the risks of blood-borne diseases and infections, wet cupping has seen a
marked decrease in popularity in the BDSM culture.  Dry cupping, at the
same time, has seen an almost geometric surge in popularity.

The mechanics of cupping are typically achieved in
one of three ways: heat, fire, and suction.  The heat and fire methods
rely upon this simple principle of physics: hot air
expands
in volume
and cooler air tends to
contract
.  Placing a cup full of
hot air
on the skin produces a curious phenomenon - the air rapidly cools, and
creates a volume of low pressure or a partial vacuum.  That, in turn,
draws a suddenly purple ball of the subject’s flesh
up into the cup,
where
it will stay until the vacuum seal at the edge of the cup is broken.  This
suctioned ball of flesh includes muscle tissue which is pulled and stretched in
ways that cannot be accomplished through ordinary massage.  If the back is
coated with a thin sheen of
oil,
the cups can be
moved around
while still suctioned to the skin, making it even more like a deep-tissue
massage and spreading the therapeutic effects over a
wider area.