Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook (64 page)

Velcro Collar.  A generally derisive term
referring to the practice of
casual frequent collaring
, usually the
collaring of inexperienced submissives by inexperienced Dominants, neither of
whom fully grasp the symbolism of the collar, or the commitment to a relationship
that it implies.  “Velcro”, which is a registered trademark of Velcro
Industries B.V., is a reference to the
easy on
,
easy off
nature
of this sort of collar. 
(See also: Collar, Collar of consideration,
Collar of protection, Play collar, Training collar) 

Versatile.
(See Switch)

Veterinary Play.  Refers to
Medical role
play
that is associated with
pet play. 
Instead of role playing
the parts of a patient and doctor, veterinary play involves role playing as
pet
and veterinarian
. 
(See also: Medical play, Pet play)

Violet Ray. 
(See Violet wand)

Violet Wand.  An electrical device similar to
decorative
lightning plasma globes,
but with an elongated wand-like
shape, that is specifically produced for BDSM
sensation and electrical play
. 
As is the case with many BDSM-related toys, the violet wand
looks
a lot
scarier than it really
is
, and therein lies its attraction.  The
artificial lightning electrical display delivers a tingling or ticklish
sensation to the skin or any erogenous zone it touches, and the intensity can
usually be adjusted from a mild tickle to intense pain.  Most violet wands
allow for a wide selection of interchangeable electrode attachments which are
designed for specific purposes or sensations.   At the highest
settings and if left in place long enough a violet wand can actually burn or
brand the skin.  When first popularized in the 1920s as quack medical
devices, they were called
violet rays.
 
(See also: Branding,
Electrical play, Sensation play)

Water Sports. 
(See: Urine play)

Water Torture. 
Water torture
refers to
any activity that
utilizes
water to create discomfort or pain over
time.  Various forms of water torture may include the use of high-pressure
hoses in combination with prison play, the use of extremely
hot or cold
water for sensation play, or the use of highly focused needle-like streams of
water from a device like a Waterpik for stimulation or torture of sensitive
areas. 
(See also: Prison fantasy, Sensation play, Torture)

Wax Play. 
Wax play
generally consists
of dripping or pouring molten candle wax onto someone’s skin to produce erotic
sensations
, for
aesthetic
purposes, or
both
.  The types
of candle wax used for erotic wax play
typically
fall into two
categories: 
paraffin
(a man-made, petroleum-based compound) and
beeswax
(which is secreted by the wax glands of worker bees).  There are many
other varieties of wax that can be used, but they all generally fall into these
two categories, differing only in the various additives that are combined with
the waxes to change its properties, such as its burn characteristics, melting
point, plasticity, or effects upon the skin. 
(See also: Chapter 9 -
BDSM Toys and Safety)

Weights. 
Weights
are sometimes used in
various types of BDSM scenes or play to add stress, discomfort or pain as
needed.  Weights are most commonly used in
CBT ball stretching
, but
may also be used in breast and nipple torture, labia torture, predicament
bondage, mummification, and humiliation play. 
(See also: Ball
crushing, Ball stretching, CBT, Predicament bondage, Torture)

Whip.  A
whip
can refer to a wide range
of BDSM toys, including floggers, lashes, cats-o’-nine-tails, and crops. 
Usually, when the word
whip
is used, it is a reference to
single-tail
whips
.  Single-tail whips come in three basic styles:
stock whips,
bullwhips, and snake whips. 
See Chapter 9 - BDSM Toys and Safety
for more information on whips. 
(See also: Canes, Crops, Floggers,
Impact play)

Whipping Post.  A
whipping post
is a
sturdy pole, frame or device used primarily for the purpose of restraining a
bottom in a
standing position
to facilitate being whipped, cropped,
caned, paddled, or spanked. 
(See also: St. Andrews cross, Caning,
Crop, Flogger, Impact play, Paddle, Rack, Torture, Whip)
  

Have you ever uttered a sentence aloud and
immediately, upon hearing it come out of your own mouth, think to yourself, “I
really should
write that down.
  I’m
sure
it will come in
handy someday?”  But of course, it never does.  And so you end up
with a crazy hodgepodge of quips and quotes - some funny, some profound, some
just plain dopey, and you have no idea what you should
do
with them, but
you’re unwilling to just throw them away. 

I’m a lover of words; I can’t just toss them
out.  I have a hard enough time just lending out a book.  Perhaps
that makes me a little like those whack-jobs on
Hoarders
who sit around
watching TV while sharing a ratty couch with a big stinking pile of dead
cats.  Okay, that was a really
bad
analogy.  I’m
nothing
like that.

Some of these quips consist of brief commentaries on
life and personal witticisms that I’ve
tweeted
to my followers on
Twitter.  On days when I’m feeling a little
cocky
, I’ll sometimes
ask a friend, “So, did you see what I tweeted today?” to which the typical
response is, “No, unlike you,
I have a life.” 
That’s when I hit
them with my
“I-may-be-a-Dom-but-I-can-do-sad-puppy-dog-eyes-as-good-as-any-subbie”
look, and they fold like a dollar-store card table under a fat kid twerking on
You Tube.

They beg me to show them what they’ve been
missing. 

And
so
, here it is.

#  #  #

If only it were as easy as going to the pharmacy,
purchasing a test kit, and taking it home to pee on a little plastic
stick.  Red for Dominant, blue for submissive, purple for switch, and
yellow for everyone else.  Life would be
so
much simpler.

There's nothing sexier than confidence, and nothing
dumber than over-confidence.  Life is all about where you
draw the line
between the two.

I always bring a pig-slapper to a flogger
fight.  I don’t even know what that means.  I honestly just love the
sound of it.

"Pussy spanking" sounds so
severe
. 
Try to think of it as an open-handed, rapid-fire, impact massage for your
clitoris.

Saran Wrap is the Bondage Gods' way of telling you
not to take your BDSM toys -
or yourself
- too seriously.  Always
buy an extra roll.  Or ten.

People are like M&Ms.  They come in a
variety of colors, they're hard on the outside, and full of obscene yumminess
on the inside.

I love redheads.  It’s not the hair color, it’s
the crazy.

I need a little sign in my car that says, "For
your own safety, please buckle your seat belt, ankle cuffs, wrist restraints
and ball gag."

Questions real people actually ask me: 
"So, do you know a lot about sex?"  No, I just
write books
about it.

I wouldn't say I'm terribly religious, but I
am
looking for someone who's really into cock worship.

Some days, I ponder the mysteries of the universe.
Other days, about the best I can do is wonder why
"now"
and
"snow"
don't rhyme.

Some people are a complete waste of our time. 
Others are a complete waste of our oxygen.  

I prefer my version: "Abstinence makes the
hard-on seek fondlers."

If this day gets any slower, I'll be moving backward
in time.  Can we stop at age 21 please? 
That
would be
really
cool.

Entering into or even considering a D/s relationship
knowing that you
cannot trust
is a little like skydiving without a
parachute.  It may start out great, but it
never ends well.
   

Sure,
I'd
love
to meet your mom. That way I can see what your boobs will look like in 20
years. Did I just say that out loud?

I don’t care about your excuses.  I don’t care
about
anyone’s
excuses; not even my own.  Either we accomplish what
we have set out to do,
or we don’t.
  Not much else matters. 
No one asks why Jefferson Davis lost the civil war.  They just know that
he
did
.

Some women just make you want to know what makes
them tick.  Others make you wonder what happens when the ticking
stops.

A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.

I think the employees at my local ranch supply store
are beginning to wonder why I'm always in the tack section checking out their
leather pig-slappers.  I don’t own a ranch. 
Or
pigs.

[After seeing a photograph of a pretty redhead wearing
glasses and reading a book]  Did I mention I love redheads?  And
glasses?   And short skirts?  And girls who read? 
And...  Oh fuck it, just take my 401(k) already.

Dear people who try to call me at 5:30am: 
Knock
that shit off.
  And have a nice day.

It’s easy to fall in love online with someone you’d
slide away from on a bus stop bench.  A little
too
damn easy.

A cage stokes our emotions and imaginations,
regardless of whether you are inside looking out, or outside looking in.

I actually got asked this: 
"What's
your favorite safe word?"
  I replied,
“More!”

No one should ever have to get out of bed before
McDonalds switches to burgers. 

How we relate to our partners in relationships is a
microcosm of how we relate to the world.  On a completely unrelated note,
have I ever mentioned that I've always wanted to conquer the world?

Relationships are something that women go into
hoping that their men will change, and men go into hoping that their women
won’t. 

How do you make someone do crazy, kinky, pervy
things?  You don't.  At best, you can make them
want
to. 
Are we there yet?

Bottoming doesn’t make you a submissive, any more
than standing in my kitchen makes you a cook.  By the way, while you’re
there, please make me a sandwich.

You can’t
fake
being a Dominant.  You
can
fake being a top.  The same goes for Subs.

When I was an Army Ranger, sometimes other soldiers
would tell me,
“I
could do that, if I wanted to.”  I’d always
reply:  Maybe so, but then
no one
ever really
wants
to go
hungry for a week, sleep in a swamp, or parachute out of a perfectly good
airplane into pitch darkness, do they? 
That’s
the difference
between me and you. 
Neither
of us wants to do that, but I do it
anyway.

For $425 you can buy pills containing real gold that
make your poop sparkle.  How have I lived this long without sparkly poop?

Emotional whiplash:  Being irresistibly
attracted to a beautiful young woman while simultaneously coming to the
realization that I probably have food in my refrigerator older than she is.

If you’re looking for a
real
partner, then
you
need to be real
.
 This is doubly so online.  If you want a
phony
partner
, then go ahead and misrepresent yourself.

A submissive who says she
trusts
you, but
doesn’t
believe
you,
doesn’t
trust you.

A highway patrol officer pulled me over the other
day and told me, “Contrary to popular belief, we don’t have a
frequent flyer
program
along this stretch of freeway.”   He wrote me a ticket,
and then said, “This ain’t
Cheers.
 It’s
not
a good thing
when
we all know your name.”

There's a time and a place for everything. 
Like, right now, your panties belong in your panty drawer.

I have to see a doctor every few years about my ADHD
medications.  Today, when I saw him, he asked me if I was OCD.  I
said, “I don’t think so. Why do you ask?”  He replied, "Most people
just fill out our questionnaires.  You
redesigned
them." 

My new and improved Golden Rule:  Dom unto
others and you would have God Dom unto you.

Michael Makai is an unapologetically atypical White
Knight Dominant with over thirty-five years of experience in both D/s
relationships and the BDSM lifestyle.   He was born in Japan and
raised in Hawaii and California, where he worked as a waiter and bartender to
pay his own way at the University of California, Riverside.  He has lived
all over the United States, and spent ten years living in Europe in the
Rheinland-Pfalz region of Germany, near the Franco-German border.  He
currently resides near Wichita Falls, Texas.

Mike spent twenty years on active duty in the United
States Army, serving in a wide variety of positions, to include paratrooper,
Ranger forward observer, NATO liaison officer, research development test &
evaluation NCO, military doctrine instructor, and NCO academy school chief.

In addition to being an author, Mike’s civilian
vocations have included bartender, freelance writer, magazine publisher, web
site designer, internet service provider, small business consultant, banker,
stock market day trader, marketing director, graphics designer, and online
retailer. 

Mike’s hobbies and preferred pastimes include koi
ponds, music, alpine skiing, beaches, travel, foreign languages, and
Scrabble. 

His
kinks
are eclectic.