Read Don't Tell the Teacher Online
Authors: Gervase Phinn
Well, frankly, sir, I just don't care!
So there!
Dear Mrs McNamara,
I'm writing this to say
That your son was very naughty
When he came to school today.
The bell had gone for lessons
When your Darren wandered in,
Then he talked all through assembly
And refused to sing the hymn.
He doodled on his reading book
And wouldn't work in class,
And at break he broke a window
And dropped litter on the grass.
Your son just would not eat his lunch
Despite the dinner lady's plea,
Then he hid behind the curtains
And refused to do PE.
I have to say I do not like
Your Darren's attitude.
When the head teacher had a word with him
He was very very rude.
He stamped his feet and shouted,
Then slammed the classroom door,
And screamed and shrieked and yelled and howled
All down the corridor.
Now I'm sure you will appreciate
That the situation's grave.
I think you should keep your son at home
Until he can behave.
The thought of Darren coming back
Fills everyone with dread.
After all I'm just a pupil
And he's the deputy head.
The school examiner, Mrs Best,
Who spent her life devising tests,
At last is sadly laid to rest,
And now in heaven she's assessed.
Alphabet Poem
Here the alphabet is used as the structure for a twenty-six- line poem.
Calligram
The words used in a calligram â also called concrete or shape poetry â form the shape of the topic described.
Cautionary Verse
A narrative poem which often features a disobedient child or a foolish person who, as a result of his or her actions, comes to a sticky end. It teaches a salutary lesson.
Conversation Poem
A free verse or rhyming poem in which two characters hold a conversation.
Diamont
A seven-line poem written in the shape of a diamond which contains a contrast of ideas or descriptions. It ollows this pattern:
Line 1: | The topic | (1 word) |
Line 2: | Describes the topic | (2 words) |
Line 3: | Expresses some action | (3 words) |
Line 4: | Relates to the topic | (4 words) |
Line 5: | Action words about the opposite of the topic | (3 words) |
Line 6: | Describes the opposite of the topic | (2 words) |
Line 7: | The opposite of the topic | (1 word) |
Epitaph
A short, often very simply written poem in memory of omeone who has died. You can see epitaphs carved on ombstones in the churchyard.
Free Verse
A poem without rhyme.
limerick
A short and amusing verse of five lines which follows a ixed pattern:
Line 1: | hymes with second and fifth lines | (8 or 9 syllables) |
Line 2: | hymes with first and fifth lines | (8 or 9 syllables) |
Line 3: | hymes with fourth line | (5 or 6 syllables) |
Line 4: | hymes with third line | (5 or 6 syllables) |
Line 5: | hymes with first and second lines | (8 or 9 syllables) |
Parody
A poem which copies the structure of a well-known poem
for comic effect.
Rhyming Poem
Rhyme is when two words sound alike. Sometimes poems use rhyme to get our attention or to make us listen, sometimes to create a pleasing musical effect. Rhyme also gives pattern to the verses in a poem. In most rhyming poems the rhyme appears at the end of the line. In some it occurs in the middle of the line (internal rhyme). Full rhymes occur when the words sound exactly alike (as in âhigh' and sky'). Near or half-rhymes are when the words sound similar but are not full rhymes (as in âmine' and âgrime').
Rhythmic Poem
All poems have rhythm â that is, a pattern of beats or ounds. Some poems have a slow and stately rhythm, thers a regular singsong rhythm.
Riddle
A riddle is a word puzzle. Some riddles are one line and thers are much longer; some are easy to solve and others re very difficult.
âAnd the prize for the best attendance this year goes to William Webster | |
Anne's grandpa wears glasses | |
As you sit all tense in the dentist's chair | Â Â |
Bully | Â Â |
Dear Granny and Grandpa | |
Dear Martin | |
Dear Mrs Auchterloonie | Â Â |
Dear Mrs McNamara | |
I really am excited! | |
I'm a daydreamer, a daydreamer | |
In a dark dark town | |
In the Home Corner | |
Inspector | Â Â |
âIt's your turn to take the dog for a walk,' | Â Â |
Little Lizzie felt quite dizzy | |
Mary in a pale blue cloak | |
Matthew saw a grey squirrel | Â Â |
Miss Cawthorne says I can't play conkers any more | |
Miss Perkins has a vulture | |
Mrs Moore | |
Mum: And where have you been until this time? | |
My best friend | Â Â |
My father drives an ambulance | |
My story on Monday began | |
On Monday Miss Morrison | |
Our English teacher, Mr Smart | |
Please, don't bring me back to the zoo | |
She secretes them in spaghetti | |
The boy | |
The chief defect of Henry Smails | |
The great green shiny monster stands still | |
The school examiner, Mrs Best | |
There was an old teacher called Blewitt | |
There's a new kid | |
To the boy with his head | |
âTwas Monday and the quembling staff | |
Up and down, up and down, on the escalator in he town | |
âWhat is the point,' asked Dad | |
When I threw a lump of mud at Michael Morrison | Â Â |
When Leroy laughed | |
When we had PE | |
âWill you come out of the bathroom! | |
âYou are not going out like that tonight! | |
âYour picture's most unusual,' Miss Moore, our teacher, said |