Don't Tell the Teacher (2 page)

She's emptied all your drawers out,
And put things in a tin.
And she's collected all our workbooks
And put them in the bin.

She's moved around the tables
And the chairs, she's rearranged.
You wouldn't recognize our classroom
Because everything has changed.

Miss Merriman is fantastic.
I think she's really cool.
Well, I hope my letter's
cheered you up
And you'll soon be back at school.

My best friend:

Sat next to David in class instead of
me
,
Talked about
me
behind my back,
Wrote things about
me
on the wall,
Got
me
into trouble with Miss,
Never asked
me
to his party,
Wouldn't look
me
in the eye,
Told
me
I was boring,
Said he didn't like
me
any more.
‘The trouble is with you,' he told
me
,
‘It's always
me, me, me, me, me
!'

As you sit all tense in the dentist's chair,
Eyes tightly closed, hands pressed together,
Listening to the whining drill –
I am there,
With you.

As you lie in bed in the shadowy dark,
And outside a cold wind rustles the leaves,
And branches scrape the window like claws –
I am there,
With you.

As you wade in the warm blue water,
Feeling the sandy sea bed soft beneath your feet,
And imagining what creature swims below –
I am there,
With you.

As you prepare to tell the angry teacher,
Who sits glowering at his desk,
That you have not done your homework –
I am there, With you.

I am the one who
Makes you tremble and sweat,
Makes your heart beat like a drum,
Makes your throat dry and your chest tight,
I am the one who fills your head with the most dreadful
thoughts –
And you know my name.

Bully –
Cold eyes.
Hits me hard,
Calls me cruel names.
My friend says,
‘Ignore him.'
How?

Inspector –
Cold eyes,
Sharp white teeth,
Smiles like a crocodile,
Frightens the teacher,
Who stands,
Trembling.

‘It's your turn to take the dog for a walk,' said Dad to Lizzie.
‘No, it isn't. I took him on Monday'
‘It's your turn to take the dog for a walk,' said Dad to Dominic.
‘No, it isn't. I took him on Tuesday.'
‘It's your turn to take the dog for a walk,' said Dad to Matthew.
‘No, it isn't. I took him on Wednesday.'
‘It's your turn to take the dog for a walk,' said Dad to Richard.
‘No, it isn't. I took him on Thursday.'
‘It's your turn to take the dog for a walk,' said Dad to Mum.
‘No, it isn't. I took him on Friday.'
‘It must be my turn, then,' said Dad, reaching for the lead.
‘Come on, Shadow. Walkies!'
But the dog was fast asleep.
He had got tired of waiting.

‘You are not going out like that tonight!
No, you are not going out like that!
Your skirt's too short,
Your blouse too tight,
Your lips too red,
Your shoes too bright,
Your hair too wild,
You look a sight.
You are not going out like that tonight!
No, you are not going out like that!'

‘Oh, don't be so old-fashioned,
Don't be such a nag.
You really are a misery-guts,
You really are a drag.
Cheer up, don't be downhearted –
You look so sad and glum.
Just remember you are my daughter, dear,
And I'm your trendy mum.'