Don't Turn Back (Coming Home Book 1) (33 page)

Coincidently, I hear the sound of a phone beep alerting a text message, but I’m not sure if its mine or his. I walk over to where mine is sitting on the coffee table and notice it’s not mine. I look over to Brian and he barely has time to read his text before shutting off the phone and tucking it back into his pocket.

“Who was it?” I’m curious to know who’s sending him texts that he’s so eager to read since he couldn’t take a moment to even acknowledge mine.

“Just my boss, letting me know I need to open up in the morning instead of coming in later.”

“Oh. Since when did bosses resort to texting instead of calling? Look, I’m sorry, it’s just that I’m hurt. I wanted to see you today.” I suddenly give up the fight. It’s not worth the drama.

Brian walks over to me and wraps his arms around me, pulling me close. He starts kissing me lightly, then, before I know it, we are both engaged in a kiss that leaves us both breathless once we pull apart.
How did we get to this point?
We were just arguing minutes ago. Why have I suddenly started giving in so easily instead of standing my ground ‘til the end? Could Brian be wearing me down or am I starting to become weaker? I’ve always been strong and straightforward.

“Jenn, I’ve missed you.” I lean my head towards his strong chest, and I am swallowed by his masculine scent.

“
Mmm
. Just hold me.” I beg him, yearning to feel loved.

He walks me backwards towards the bedroom. Piece by piece, he removes each item of clothing I have on. I tease him by rubbing my hand on the outside of his jeans.

For the next half hour, Brian makes me forget all about being upset with him earlier. I have no idea how he does it, but I’m a sucker when it comes to him. He knows the right things to say and do to win me over, once again.

I thought the weekend would never get here. I worked every day this week, putting in over fifty hours in five days. I can’t wait to get my first paycheck next Friday, even though I know I still need to settle up with Rebecca. I’ve made no attempt to contact her, but I do feel somewhat relieved knowing Jennifer is aware of the loan now. I ended up spending the money I kept from the envelope from Jennifer’s parents instead of making a payment to Rebecca like I had originally intended.

We decide to do as little as possible this weekend. Jennifer’s nausea has returned, but she seems to be handling it better now by munching on crackers and sipping on some carbonated water. She has her first doctor’s appointment next Friday morning, and I’ve already requested the day off to accompany her. I think I’m almost as nervous about it as she is.

We both fall back into a routine on Monday, Jennifer attending classes once again, only this time in the mornings immediately after she leaves work instead of in the evenings, and I am working daytime hours. I’m usually home in time for supper and we both work together cleaning the kitchen making sure everything gets put away just the way she likes it. Lord knows I shouldn’t upset her again about a dirty kitchen. It’s easier to go ahead and help out.

On Friday morning, Jennifer rushes in to take a quick shower before heading out to her doctor’s appointment. I tossed and turned all night, eager to find out what the doctor has to say about our baby. I even had the urge to call my mom last night to share the news with her, but I talked myself out of it. No, I’m not homesick at all, but it’s been so long since I’ve heard from anyone in my family. When I left, I didn’t bother to tell anyone the direction I was headed. I just left.

I grab Jennifer’s coat from the closet and help her put it on. She, too, has a certain level of anxiety about her, and I suspect that’s normal for any new mother going to the doctor for the first time. I open the car door for her, and we both are silent the entire way.

The waiting room is surprisingly quiet. Jennifer fills out several pages of paperwork, even asking questions about me, and my family’s medical history. A nurse sticks her head around the door and calls her to the back. I stand up to accompany her, but the nurse stops me and explains she will come back for me once Jennifer is through with her examination. Then, we will be able to ask the doctor questions relating to the pregnancy and the baby.

I fidget with my hands for a while, but then pull my phone out. I attempt to play a few games, but I’m too nervous to concentrate. I send Jennifer a text telling her how much I love her. I don’t know if she’s with the nurse still or if she is waiting in the examination room alone. I simply just felt like telling her.

After fifteen minutes, the nurse comes back to get me, and walks me down the hallway. She knocks on the door alerting Jennifer before we both enter. I walk over to a chair that is next to the examination table. As I take a seat, I reach over and hold onto Jennifer’s hand, trying to offer her comfort.

The doctor walks back in and introduces himself to me. I shake his hand and he instantly says, “Congratulations Mr. Davis.” I look over at Jennifer as she, too, catches the doctor’s mistake of thinking we are married. I don’t bother correcting him with my last name, Collins. I’m sure we are not the only couple to visit his office who are not married.

He begins by telling us a few things about the pregnancy, different things Jennifer should expect to feel and experience, and finally about the final stages just before the baby makes his or her arrival. Just as the appointment is wrapping up, we are told the baby’s due date is mid-August.

I look at Jennifer, and her face shows so much emotion. What I hope are happy tears slide over her cheeks, and I reach over to touch one of them before it slips off the side of her jaw. She squeezes my hand firmly. If you had asked me a year ago where I expected to be in my life right now, I never would have guessed I would be months away from being a father.
I hope I am ready to take on this new role.

As we stand to leave, I place my hand on Jennifer’s back guiding her to the door. Her arms are loaded down with information and freebies pertaining to the baby. She finishes up her paperwork with the front desk receptionist, making her appointment for the next visit. We both sit in her car for the next several minutes looking through the tons of information the nurses provided for us, all in a really neat little baby bag. Who knew there was so much to know about having a baby!

“Well, what would you like to do now?” I look over at her in the front seat. She has this glow to her appearance. She looks over at me like there’s something she wants to say.

After what seems like an eternity, she finally answers. “Let’s do it.”

“What?” I ask, a little confused about her response.

“Let’s do it. Let’s get married.”

“What? Are you for real?” This time I have a look of shock written all over my face. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“No. I’m not. Let’s go to the courthouse and do it. Let’s do the right thing for our baby.”

It’s funny how when I first asked Jennifer to marry me, I was the confident one while she had her doubts. Now, I’m the one second-guessing if this is what I really want to do.

“What?” She asks jokingly, “I see how you are. Now that I’m ready, you’ve had a change of heart.” She drops my hand and turns to look out the window.

“No, that’s not it at all.”

“Well, what is it then?”

“I just didn’t think you were ready for that, especially with me. I know we’ve had our moments, and even though we seem to be back on track and headed in the right direction, I just didn’t expect you to change your mind so suddenly.”

“If you’re up for it, then so am I.” Jennifer sounds very confident in her decision.

“Since you put it that way, what are we waiting for?” I feel like it’s now or never. If we don’t do this now, she may never agree to marry me again.

First, we stop by the mall to pick up my first paycheck. I make formal introductions between Jennifer and Melissa, and, judging by Jennifer’s expression and sudden clinginess, I don’t think she is too happy about my boss being young and attractive. When I first met Jennifer, she came across as being very confident with herself. Now, I’m not sure if it’s the pregnancy hormones taking their toll on her or if the past situation with Rebecca has affected her, but I see her struggling with her confidence these days. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when Jennifer acts very confident in herself, then there are other moments that she’s quick to drop a tear if someone looks at her wrong. I’m not sure if Jennifer’s parents held tight reins on her being the baby of the family, or if they were just uncertain about leaving her alone. But, even now, they’ve not given her a chance to grow and blossom on her own, to make mistakes and learn from them, as long as they keep taking care of everything for her. Jennifer’s confidence needs to develop from within, and the only way she is going to make that happen is to make it on her own without her parents’ support.

I get my check cashed at the bank inside the mall, and we stop for lunch at one of those cafeteria-type restaurants that most malls have. I’m almost scared to bring up getting married for fear that she may just as quickly change her mind again. Before we leave, I pull her towards the jewelry store where I purchased her bracelet.

“Where are we going?” She asks.

“I can’t have my bride to be getting married without a ring, can I?” I have no idea how I am going to pull this off, but I hope by some miracle I can find an inexpensive ring that will suffice until I can afford to get her something better. Maybe being a repeat customer will give me some sort of discount.

“Brian,” she sounds so sincere. “We can hold off on the rings. That’s something we can get later.”

“No, I want you to have some kind of token of my love.” Her eyes glaze over with happy tears again. Dang. Why can’t she do a better job of controlling her emotions?

We walk inside the jewelry store, and, lucky for me, the same customer service clerk waits on me again. I explain to her we need just a simple, inexpensive ring, something to get us by for now. She points us to a case and proceeds to pull out rings for Jennifer to try on.

I don’t expect to purchase a ring for myself at this time, but Jennifer starts talking to the salesperson about finance options and within minutes, she’s filling out the credit application. I include my income, but I know with my job history and lack of stability, the application is better off with just her information. I can’t believe how willingly Jennifer is to consider a credit account with me.

The sales clerk enters the information and walks back to us with a smile on her face. “Congratulations. We’ve got you approved. Let me show you some bridal sets that I think you both will like.”

I am completely taken by surprise. I know Jennifer has had her full-time job since she graduated from high school, but I had no idea she had enough credit to establish a jewelry account. Once again, she can probably thank her parents for always making sure she has plenty of money and all of her bills are taken care of in a timely manner. She’s never had to worry about having enough change to buy a gallon of gas to get to work, or if there’s enough money to have something to eat every day. She’s never had to walk a day in my shoes.

We glance at so many sets of rings that they all start to look alike. I have her pick out something she will be happy with, after all, a ring is just a ring, while I settle for a simple gold band. She completes the transaction and regretfully, we are unable to take the rings with us since they need to be sized. Surprisingly, I’m a little disappointed with this, but there is nothing that can be done about it. I notice the same reaction from her as well.

I glance at the time on my phone and realize if we are really going to get this done today, we better head down to the courthouse soon. I open the passenger door for her as she climbs into the car. As I walk back behind the car towards the driver’s side, I hesitate for a moment by the trunk. I look up in the sky and take notice of the beautiful, sunny day. Even though the weather is chilly, there’s not a cloud in the sky. It’s a perfect day.

Once we get to the courthouse, a security officer points us in the direction of the office for the Justice of the Peace. There are a few other couples ahead of us filling out paperwork and handling the fees.