Don't Turn Back (Coming Home Book 1) (32 page)

The entire ten-minute drive to the hotel, I think about Rebecca and what she’s going to say once I get there. I mentally try to prepare myself. My irresponsibility deserves whatever she spits at me.

I pull into the parking lot expecting to see Rebecca standing at the door, holding her purse, while tapping her foot impatiently. But she’s not. Quickly, I run inside and see she’s checking in a guest. I put my things away and walk to the counter to take over.

“Here, let me finish so you can leave.” I’m abrupt with her, but not rude.

“I’ll finish. It’s not a problem.”

Once the guest leaves to go to their room, Rebecca turns to look at me.

“I’ve seen you look better before. Is that boyfriend of yours keeping you out too late to show up on time?” I don’t appreciate the snide tone in her voice. “You’ve never been one to be late for work. His bad habits rubbing off on you already?” I can’t believe her harshness.

“Wait a damn minute.” I quickly jump to defend myself.  “You know that is hateful and uncalled for. You have no right to make accusations against either of us.” Looks like now is as good of a time as any to get everything out in the open.

“Well, it’s true. Since he’s come into your life, you have changed, Jennifer.” I detect the angriness in her voice, loud and clear.

“I cannot believe you. We go out, and you get so drunk that you hit on my boyfriend.” I’m practically spewing my words at her now. “I thought you were my best friend. Turns out all you wanted was a chance to make a move on my boyfriend.”

“Look, you have no room to talk about being drunk. You were so wasted you had no idea what was going on.”
Is she insinuating something here?

I don’t give her a chance to say more before I’m throwing the words right back at her. “Besides, a real friend would have never done what you did, first in the cab, then in my own apartment, especially knowing I was in the other room. How could you Rebecca?” I have kept this all bottled up inside, and now it’s time to finally get it all out in the open.

I burst out in tears, and Rebecca stares at me, not able to say anything. She knows she is wrong and owes me an apology. But my biggest concern is, can I forgive her? Can I forgive her and continue to have her and Brian both back in my life again? I’m not sure I can ever trust either of them together from here on out, whether I’m present or not.

“Jenn, look, I’m sorry. It’s been eating me up inside ever since I left your apartment that morning. I’ve wanted to talk to you, but I also knew how angry this has made you. I’ve hurt you deeply, and I don’t know if I could forgive myself if I were you.” Rebecca genuinely looks sorry for her mistakes. “You are the sister I never had, and we should have never let this happen. We are both more responsible than this.”

I want to remind her that my only mistake was that I drank too much. She, on the other hand, drank too much
and
lost her self-control. I would never have put the moves on Greg, no matter how drunk I might be.

“Can you ever forgive me?” She opens her arms to hug me and I hesitate at first, before accepting her hug.

“I want you to know this whole thing made me so upset. I ended up in the hospital Friday night, sick, worrying about everything.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” Her face fills with concern. “I had no idea. Not only did I feel terrible for everything, but now I feel even worse.”

“Brian took me.” I let her know quickly that he’s back in the picture. “I was unable to drive myself.”

“Thank goodness he was there for you.”

“Well, I had to call him. He had been gone all week too.” I can’t explain why I decided to text him over her that night, I just did.

“Are you doing better now?”

“I got plenty of rest this weekend. The doctor gave me something for my nausea, and it’s helped tremendously. I’m able to keep food down now.” I think about the news I received while in the emergency room.
Should I tell Rebecca now or give it some time since our friendship is now on the mend?

“You poor thing. You look like you’ve lost weight. I hope you get back to your old self again soon. You
never
get sick.” She emphasizes this last part.

“Well, there is something else.” I figure I might as well share my news now. This secret will reveal itself before too long, anyway.

“What?” A look of concern spreads over her face.

I hesitate, then let it out. “I’m pregnant.” I hold my hand up indicating I’m not finished yet. “Please, before you start lecturing me or blaming Brian, just let me say it’s just as much my fault for not using protection as it is his.”

“Oh my goodness, Jenn. You’re having a baby! I’m going to be an aunt.
Awww
.” This is not the reaction I expected at all.

“I’ve got to make a doctor’s appointment this week, but yes, I’m having a baby.” I try to smile through my tears. While I am still in shock myself about the news, I’m also starting to like the sound of it.

“What do your parents think? I bet your mom is thrilled knowing she’s going to be a grandmother.”

“Well, that’s another thing.” I become silent for a moment and walk away from the counter. Rebecca notices my hesitation.

“You have told them, right?”

I look up, and the look on my face speaks for itself. “No, I haven’t yet. I’m still getting used to the idea of being pregnant and all. I know they will be happy for me, once they get over the shock. I’m sad it’s probably not the way they would have planned it for me, but there’s no going back now. We are all going to have to make the most of it.”

“How’s Brian taking the news?” I know Rebecca still has her doubts where he is concerned.

“He’s actually taking it better than me.” I don’t want to share my other news of Brian’s proposal just yet. I need time to think more about it myself. “He started a new job yesterday so hopefully this one will pay a little more and have more opportunities for promotion.”

“Oh, I thought he was still down at the oil place.” Rebecca seems shocked about that news.

“No, there was a misunderstanding right before Christmas, and they had to let him go.”
Why do I feel as though I’m about to start making excuses for him?
“But he was fortunate to find this one rather quickly.”

Rebecca and I continue to talk, catching up on everything we’ve missed while being upset with each other. She shares some of her plans for a summer wedding, and instead of getting excited, I actually frown, realizing I’m going to be big and fat come July. Rebecca gathers her things to finally head home, and I settle down to work on some of my paperwork for the shift. The night actually passes quickly, and I’m anxious to get home to see Brian before he leaves for work.

I pull through the drive-thru and order some breakfast to take home; I want to surprise Brian this morning. I hope he will be okay once he learns Rebecca and I have worked through our differences. I’m pretty sure neither of them will want to be around the other for some time, simply because of the awkwardness. And actually, I think I prefer it that way.

As I pull up to my apartment, I feel my heart drop when I see Brian’s car is already gone. I hate that I didn’t get to talk to him last night, but the least he could have done is texted or called to let me know he had to be at work early. I suppose I will have to wait until later to see him.

I send him a text telling him I miss him and wait several minutes for a response. I still have not heard anything from him by the time I make it inside, so I put my things away before sitting down to eat breakfast alone.

The kitchen is a complete mess from when Brian fixed himself something to eat last night. I noticed it when I left in a big hurry last night, but couldn’t do anything about it then because of the time. Now, it looks like a few more dishes have been added to the sink, and there are food packages left all over the counter. I’m not one for leaving messes at all, which he’s well aware of, and it pisses me off knowing he left them for me to take care of.

I go ahead and pick up everything until I’m satisfied with the way the kitchen looks. I don’t want to overwork myself, since I’m still getting all my strength back, so I sit on the couch to watch a few of the morning talk shows.

Just after lunch, I look down at my phone, and sure enough, I have missed a text from Brian apologizing for not seeing me last night and this morning. He’s not sure how late he’s going to work, but he will call as soon as he knows something. I decide to jump in the shower and head down to the mall for a surprise visit. Surely he can take a break, so we can grab a bite to eat.

I walk inside the mall and head in the direction of the shoe store. As many times as I’ve been shopping here, I don’t think I have ever been in this particular store. I walk in and glance around. Even though I don’t see any customers right now, I don’t notice anyone on the sales floor working either.
That’s odd
. You would think someone would at least be up front to greet potential customers. I walk down one of the aisles, and I suddenly hear laughter coming from the back. At the end of the aisle, I see a room that must lead to the stock area. I peak around the door but still can’t see anyone. I hear a male and female voice talking and realize the voice belongs to Brian. Obviously, he’s enjoying his conversation by the sound of the laughter.

I’m not sure who manages the store, but surely they would not approve of the sales floor being left unattended. I walk around a few minutes more checking out the different shoe styles. While I really was hoping to surprise Brian, it looks like I’m going to have to call him to let him know I’m here.

I dial his phone and listen for the sound of his ringtone. Sure enough, I hear it start to play from the store’s back room. All of a sudden, the ringing ceases as my call gets declined.
You’ve got to be kidding me
. I still hear the conversation going on between Brian and the female, but I’m not able to make out what is being said, just occasional words and more laughter. I try his phone once more, this time he doesn’t even bother to decline it. I listen to the phone ring and ring while his conversation continues.

Now
I’m pissed
. I come all the way down here to see Brian, and this is the way I get treated? Better yet, ignored. Maybe I’m not being fair, but I seriously doubt the conversation was about business, with all the laughter I was able to hear. Besides, shouldn’t the conversation, if it was that important, be taking place on the floor where customers could be seen and attended to? If Brian is training to be an assistant manager, he’s definitely going to have to work on his management skills or this job is doomed to fail. Again.

I run out of the mall and out to my car. I don’t bother trying to reach Brian again. If he gets hungry, let him get his own damn food.

I go back to the apartment and start fixing myself something to eat, making enough that I can carry with me to work tonight and eat later should I get hungry. I don’t care if there’s any left for Brian or not.

Of all the things to happen, my mind drifts back to the other day when Brian asked me to marry him. And to think, at the moment, I seriously considered it. Now, I’m not so sure he’s ready for that kind of commitment at all. He still needs to grow up and accept responsibility, including his behavior at work. Besides, I think my parents would be disappointed if I decided to go through with it. It’s going to be bad enough once I get the courage to tell them about the baby, much less mention Brian’s proposal. No, there is just no way I can go through with it right now. There are no rules these days that say we have to get married to be parents to this baby. The more I continue to think about it, the more upset about it I get.

I sit down to eat just as Brian walks in the door. He looks and acts like his normal self, but I find myself giving him the cold shoulder; I just can’t help it.

“You okay, babe? You seem as though something’s bothering you.” He acts concerned, surely picking up on my mood since I’ve not said anything to him yet.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I answer coldly.

“If I didn’t know any better, I would say you are upset with me.” He says with a worried tone.

“You think so, huh?” I spit out. “Let’s just say, I called you today, and you can’t even have the decency to answer your phone. And don’t tell me you didn’t know I called because I heard the phone ringing myself. Just like I know you declined it the first time I called.” I’m pissed now. I stand up, disgusted, and dump my food in the trash.

“Babe, calm down. What are you talking about? What’s come over you?” He seriously acts like he doesn’t have a clue.

“I went down to the mall today hoping to surprise you, only I ended up being the one surprised. You never even came out of the back room, Brian. I heard you laughing and carrying on with some girl. Neither of you had any idea what was even happening on the sales floor. I could have walked out the front door with my arms full of shoes and no one would have seen a thing.”

“I had no idea…” He continues to play dumb.

I cut him off before he can say more. “Exactly. Had you bothered to answer your damn phone, you would have known I was there.”