DRAWN (37 page)

          “What’s the name of your character?”

          Shit.

          Jace answers before I can stop him. “
Yuki
.”

          Lace bursts into laughter. “I rest my case.”

          “It’s just a coincidence,” I say as we leave our hotel room.

          “Yeah, yeah.”

          “It is!”

          “Why don’t you just admit that you like Yuki and go crawling back to him?”

          “No comment.” Love him or not, I get it that I was an idiot for turning Yuki down. But I don’t think I’m ready yet to beg him to take me back.

          “Aaaand another cop-out from Katerina Chariot,” Lace says like a sports announcer on TV. “She scores!” She makes a face at me. “Not.”

          I make a face back.

          Jace looks back and forth between us. “What did I miss?”

          When we step into the elevator, joining a middle-aged Korean-looking couple, Lace tells Jace, “She’s not sure she likes Yuki because she feels she’s a slut.”

          The Korean woman gasps.

          Great. Just great. They speak English. It’s my fucking luck at work again.

          “Will you stop it?” I hiss, shielding my face with one hand and turning my back on them so I don’t see the scandalized look on their faces.

          “Then stop being so dense!” Lace’s teeth grind audibly. “I can’t believe you’re making me say this, but just because you like
sex
doesn’t make you a slut.” An evil grin appears on her lips. “It just makes you a perv.”

          “Har de fucking har.” But I’m honestly worried. A month of withdrawal symptoms from Yuki has made me question everything I ever did with him. I mean, what if it’s not really love? What if it really is sexual obsession and all I want is just – as Yuki so coarsely put it once – a
dick
? I’m just seventeen. Am I really old enough to be in love, really in love?

          Lace grabs Jace from the back with his collar and hauls him to stand in front of me.

          “Hey, easy on the uniform!”

          “A lot of girls think
this
guy is hot. So go kiss him and see how it makes you feel.”

          Jace releases a fake girly gasp. “But I’m still a virgin!”

          “I’m not going to do that!” I gasp at the same time.

          “If you’re a slut, a nympho, or whatever you’re not going to care about betraying your feelings for Yuki. You’re just going to want to have sex with
this
guy.”

          The Korean woman behind me sounds like she’s about to keel over any moment.

          “
This
guy has a name,” Jace reminds her.

          Not bothering to look at him, Lace raises a brow at me. “Well?”

          “Won’t either of you even ask how I’m going to feel about this?” Jace asks dramatically. “I’m not okay being used like this.”

          I glance at him uneasily. “You’re not?”

          Jace grins. “Well, okay, I lied. I don’t mind. So kiss away---”

          I plant one on him before he even finishes speaking. I give it all I have.

Jace is a great kisser. I’ll give him that. I think I’m even turned on a bit. But I just don’t feel the urge to push him to the floor and have my way with him.

          “Times up, horny dog,” Lace says, breaking us apart with a slapping sound. “No butt groping in public, please.”

          I look at Jace. “
Really?
”

          I mean, really?

          “What can I say? You kiss really well.”

          I roll my eyes, but half my mind’s already wondering what that kiss means to me.

Jace looks at Lace hopefully.

          “I already know I’m not a slut,” she says dryly.

          “But maybe just to be sure?”

          “You wish.”

          The elevator doors finally open, and the Korean couple can’t get out fast enough.

          “They’ll probably report us to security,” I mutter.

          “Who gives a shit?” Lace sounds terribly impatient. “The experiment worked, didn’t it? So why not go after Yuki now?”

          I shake my head stubbornly. “I need to think about---” I stop speaking when I catch sight of another convention attendee in a Vampire Knight uniform. The guy’s tall, with ash blond hair that’s the exact shade as
Zero Kiryu,
the
bishounen
vampire hunter who makes up the love triangle with Yuki and Kaname in the
manga
series.

          “Did you see that?” I blurt out.

          “See what?” Jace asks.

          But he’s already gone.

          As we walk around,
manga
after
manga
goes into my shopping bags, together with a few official merchandise of my favorite series – stickers, book plates, and even a
Vampire Knight
laptop mouse that’s too
kawaii
for words.

          And all the time, I keep catching a glimpse of that same guy. He makes my heart go
doki-doki
and…

          I hate it.

          Lace lied.

          I Am A Slut.

          Why else would my body feel so disgustingly alive when I haven’t even seen the guy’s face? Maybe guys like Jace doesn’t do it for me. I can close my eyes right now, and---

          My fingers sink into his ash-blond hair, the same time he sinks into me, and he groans---

         
I
groan.

          Oh my God, how bad can this get? Now I’m fantasizing about random strangers? What’s next? Incest?

          But when I see the guy heading to the exit doors, I still panic.

          I’m hopeless.

“Could you take this to our room for me?” I don’t wait for Jace’s answer and just toss him my shopping bags.

          He catches it in time but almost caves under its weight. “Next time, just buy the e-book version.”

          “Where are you going?” Lace demands.

          Keeping my eye on Cosplaying Zero, I tell Lace over shoulder, “Another experiment!”

          “A WHAT?”

          I don’t bother answering. I can’t afford to, not when Cosplaying Zero’s already reaching for the doors. Besides, this is her fault anyway. She’s totally created a Frankisstein monster out of me.

          By the time I get outside, I barely catch a glimpse of Cosplaying Zero crossing the street and heading to the hotel where I’m also staying.

          Sprinting after him, I keep my hands on the edges of my barely-there skirt so it won’t blow away accidentally and give me another feature in the Tattler. I wanted my costume authentic, but I realized too late it would mean exposing half my butt every time I’m on my feet.

          My heart’s ba-thumping like mad the closer and closer I get to Cosplaying Zero.

          This seems so silly, but I can’t stop going after him. I mean, I don’t even know what I’m going to do when I finally catch up to him. What if he’s ugly? Married? Do my hormones still take over? Will it overpower my feelings for Yuki?

          Inside the hotel, I hide behind the post when I see him stepping inside the elevator and turning around to press his floor button. I count three seconds before I come out of my hiding place and hurry to the reception.

          “Hi, Faye.” I beam at the mid-twenties girl behind the reception desk. We’re first-names basis now since she still remembers Jace and me from our last visit.

          Her pink-glossed lips curve into a smile. “Hiya. Your costume’s amazing, by the way.”

          “Thanks. I hope I win the contest.”

          “Good luck.”

          I clear my throat. “Did you see the guy who came in earlier? He’s wearing the same, umm, uniform I have on?”

          Faye nods.

          “I was, umm, hoping I can ask he’d pair up with me for the contest. Maybe, umm, you can let me know the floor he’s at?” I’m blushing even before I finish lying.

          She looks at me knowingly. “Is it really for a contest?”

          I smile weakly. “No?”

          She bends close. “He had another guy check him in, actually, but I did ask housekeeping because he’s…” She fans herself to explain.

          I totally get it, unfortunately. Cosplaying Zero really is hot, even from a distance.

          “Promise you won’t tell anyone you got it from me?” she whispers.

          “Swear on my future grave,” I say.

          “He’s in 705.”

          The fact that I know where Cosplaying Zero is now makes my body start throbbing. One part of me is excited by the sensation. The other part of me wants to cry. I don’t think I can face Yuki after this. He deserves a real girlfriend, and not one who’s just in for the sex.

          The elevator ride to 7
^th
floor is endless, and my body just doesn’t stop throbbing, my heart doesn’t stop ba-thumping, and it’s taking all of my self-control not to scream just to release some of the tension inside me.

          When I reach 705, I raise my fist to knock but stop midway.

          What am I doing, really?

          So what if he’s going to be ugly? So what if he’s going to be hot? Guys check out girls all the time even if they’re in love. Even my dad does it – rarely but still - though I don’t think Kelly’s ever caught him doing it.

          Maybe sex has
nothing
to do with love. Or maybe sex has
everything
to do with
.
I just don’t know, really. But what I do know right now is that in the end, it’s my choice.

I get to choose who I fantasize about, who I bang, who I
love
.

          And I think…

          No, I’m sure…

          I choose Yuki.

          I lower my hand.

          The door opens. Before I know it, someone snatches and pulls me inside, and I’m screaming even though I catch a glimpse of ash blond hair. It’s just my fucking luck to be sexually attracted to a serial killer.

          Kicking and clawing anything I can reach, I manage to sink my teeth into my captor’s wrist and I bite it hard.

          “Oww!”

          I stop struggling.

          That voice…

          I look up.

          “
Yuki
?”

Yuki smiles down at me, still holding my wrists. It’s disorienting to see his beautiful face framed by locks of ash blond hair. “Hello,
senpai
.”

          “Fu…fuuu…” I can’t believe I’m having a hard time saying it now, of all times.

          I’m back!

          I think I’m really back.

          And he’s back.

          And I’m so mad I have to…take a swing at him or I’m going to self-destruct in five seconds.

          “Ow! Ow!” Yuki raises his arms in defense when I keep trying to hit his face again and again.

          “You made me think I was hot for some…some random dude!” I shriek at him.

          “I know.”

          Yeeeargh.

          It’s enough to have me start attacking him again. Arse. Sod. Bloody---

Yuki finally captures my wrists. “Stop hitting me,
senpai
…”

Huffing a little because trying to beat a six-foot-plus guy into a pulp is hard work, I snap, “It would have served you right if I had---”

Sighing, he cuts me off, saying, “
Senpai
, when will you ever learn?”

“Learn what?”

          “That I’m the hottest guy for you.”

          Oh for the bloody love of…will he
never
run out of blasted one-liners?

          I mean, really.

          And confident much?

          Yuki’s smiling at me, and just the sight of it makes my toes curl. Other parts of my body respond in more dangerous ways, too, telling me I need to distract myself if I don’t want to lose control. Any second now and I’m going to throw Yuki to bed, all 170 pounds of him, and shag him like crazy.

          “W-why are you in costume?” It’s my best attempt at distracting myself, and I try to speak like a Mafia don. I don’t want him to know how hopelessly affected I am by his presence. Well, at least not just yet.

          Yuki’s smile disappears. “Are you okay?”

          “Yeah,” I say roughly, still in character.