e Squared (32 page)

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Authors: Matt Beaumont

BOOK: e Squared
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Subject:
 
gett un hrer amd du e fir ne. we havr oir mann!
 
From:
David Crutton
To: Neil Godley
Sent: 20 January 2009, 14.49
Subject: I've got your number, you thieving gobshite
 
Do not imagine for one second that your sanctimonious and frankly creepy Christian act fools me. I know your game and I am closing in. It is only a matter of time before I have the evidence. And believe me, by the time I've finished with you, you'll be begging for the sanctuary of a police cell.
 
From:
David Crutton
To: Sally Wilton
Sent: 20 January 2009, 14.52
Subject: Operation Thief Kill
 
I firmly believe Godley is our man, though he is clearly an extremely clever operator and we will have difficulty making a case against him. The police obviously lack the will/mental rigor to see this through, given their abject failure to pin the theft of the copier on him.
 
I suggest an alternative course of action.
 
I've had an interesting conversation with Zlatan Kovaćević. He has useful contacts in the private-security sector. I want his people working on this as a matter of urgency. Get the number from him and I will sign the necessary purchase order.
 
From:
Milton Keane
To: All Staff
Sent: 20 January 2009, 15.00
Subject: Interns
 
Any interns free to take a piccy of the new More Rugged Me for my Facebook and MySpace profiles?
 
From:
Liam O'Keefe
To: All Staff
Sent: 20 January 2009, 15.12
Subject: Interns
 
Any lady interns free to be photographed with a ciggy in the mouth? Would help if you look vaguely like Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana, but no worries because Photoshop will do the hard work.
 
From:
Bill Geddes
To: Kazu Makino
Sent: 20 January 2009, 15.21
Subject: Don
 
You heard anything untoward about Our Man En Route to Rio yet?
 
From:
Kazu Makino
To: Bill Geddes
Sent: 20 January 2009, 15.24
Subject: Re: Don
 
Slight panic when I read a report of a plane putting down in a field near Tampa, but turned out to be a cargo flight of quail eggs that exploded on sudden depressurization. So far so good.
 
From:
Ted Berry
To: Sally Wilton
Sent: 20 January 2009, 16.09
Subject:
 
Adrijana and Zlatan have just presented me with a campaign of 96-sheet posters drawn up entirely on rolling papers. The stationery shortage is getting ridiculous. Get it sorted. Please.
 
From:
Janice Crutton
To: Paula Sterling
Sent: 20 January 2009, 16.14
Subject:
 
Get hold of Mr. Abbas at Spectre Security & Surveillance and tell him we've got a problem. Tamara is picking up my home phone, but the monitor says she's in a Hackney crack den. Either his overpriced device is on the blink or my daughter is an electronic wiz—maybe she has been paying attention in her science classes after all.
Wednesday
Mood
:
insomniac insomniac
bbc.co.uk/news
British
man arrested in Brazil
 
A British man has been arrested after landing in Rio de Janeiro on a British Airways flight from Heathrow.
 
Donald Gold, a 42-year-old British advertising executive, was arrested at Rio de Janeiro's Galeão International Airport after being physically restrained by cabin crew during the flight from London.
 
Apparently convinced that the flight crew had died from unspecified poisoning and that the aircraft was flying itself, he tried to gain entry to the Boeing 747's flight deck. Bienvenida Bebeta Bezerra, who was sitting close to Gold, said: “He was drinking and taking pills all through the journey and he seemed jumpy, but I didn't think anything of it—who isn't terrified stupid at 10,000 meters? But then he jumped to his feet and started screaming, ‘They're all dead, they're all dead, and we will all die too!' I told him to calm down, but he shouted at me that he was the only man who could fly the aeroplane. Then he ran to the front and the next time I see him the stewardesses are pushing him to the floor and putting the handcuffs on him. They were quite rough. I think they give him a black eye and stamp on him hard in their high heels. The whole thing was terrifying.”
 
Fiona West, British Airways Director of Long Haul Operations, said: “The safety of the flight and the passengers is of paramount importance. The cabin crew behaved in exemplary fashion and followed the procedure for dealing with in-flight incidents to the letter. The matter is now in the hands of the Brazilian authorities.”
 
Gold remains in custody at Galeão International and has yet to be charged with any offense.
 
From:
David Crutton
To: Sally Wilton
Sent: 21 January 2009, 03.21
Subject: Operation Thief Kill
 
I want 24-hour surveillance on Godley. CCTV in his cubicle and a bug on his phone. Also, have IT assign one of their techies to monitor his e-mail and internet usage.
Sent from my BlackBerry
bbc.co.uk/news
Air-rage
suspect faces
terror interrogation
 
The British executive at the center of an air-rage incident is being
questioned as a terror suspect.
 
Donald Gold, arrested in Rio de Janeiro after an incident aboard a British Airways flight, was found to be carrying what was described as terrorist propaganda in his baggage. A spokesman for Brazil's National Intelligence Service said: “Señor Donald Gold is being held under Brazil's anti-terror laws following the discovery of dangerous propaganda. His baggage contained large glossy pictures of Osama Bin Laden and Kim Jong-Il, which are clearly designed to incite terrorist violence and sedition in our peace-loving country. Señor Gold has been transferred to the jurisdiction of the CIA under Brazil's anti-terror accord with the Government of the United States.”
 
Gold's current whereabouts are unknown. No one at the US State Department in Washington or CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia, was available for comment.
From:
David Crutton
To: Sally Wilton
Sent: 21 January 2009, 04.06
Subject: Operation Thief Kill

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