Edge of Disaster (20 page)

Calm down Lex, shit you’re yelling at the poor girl.

She looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights.  I didn’t stop.

“That’s right Terri. He’s watched you suffer now for three solid months and blames himself every time he looks at you. He’s seeing a psychiatrist you know. You know how I know? I made him an appointment with the one that I go to.  And right now, I’m thinking you need to go see Phil too.

I’m not justifying his actions by any means, but I am telling you that, given the circumstances, you were willing to cut me some slack. Why don’t you do the same for him?”

“I don’t know,” she said.

“Look, if you’re just not into him that’s one thing, but if it’s this whole accident thing, then maybe you need to reevaluate the situation.”

“Maybe so.”

“Well, I’m giving you a goal to shoot for.”

She looked at me funny and said, “What are you talking about?”

I grinned an evil grin...well, as evil as I could muster up, which wasn’t all that evil really. “Pearce and I want to get married in late October. We talked with Justin and he doesn’t see any reason why you wouldn’t be able to walk down to aisle then.”

“So?”

“So that’s your goal! To walk down the aisle at my wedding as my maid of honor!”

“No kidding! I think I can manage that.”

“You’d better ‘cause I’m not canceling this wedding. You’re still planning on coming with us wedding gown shopping next Saturday?”

“Yeah baby! Wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

********

We were happy to wake up to a sunny morning. Pearce hopped out of bed and was eager for me to get a move on. I got suspicious when he wouldn’t tell me anything.  He just kept saying it was a surprise.

“Wear a bathing suit and bring a change of clothes.”

The beach? The boat? It had to be one or the other.

Thirty minutes later, we pulled up to the marina and I had my answer. I still couldn’t figure out why he was acting like a little kid on Christmas morning. He jumped out of the car and jogged around to my door to help me out. Then we both went to the back to get our things and we walked toward the slip. He just kept grinning.

When we finally got to Pearce’s yacht, the whole Middleton clan was there and Henry had a bottle of champagne in his hand. Everyone was grinning. I felt completely left out of the joke.

“Okay, what’s up?”

They all just looked at Pearce and he kept glancing at the back of the boat and smiling. I just kept looking at him, not understanding.

In frustration, I finally said, “Would somebody let me in on the joke?”

Pearce came up to me and grabbed me in his arms, kissed me quickly and whispered, “Babe, this is no joke. It’s a thing of utter beauty. Look!”

He grabbed my face and turned it in the direction of the back of the boat. I finally noticed the words, “The Alexia.”

He’d renamed his yacht after me. My eyes pooled up.

“We’re rededicating her today. It was supposed to be yesterday, but the weather didn’t cooperate. Come on.”

Henry said the words but I wouldn’t let him ruin a perfectly good bottle of champagne or put a scratch on the bow of The Alexia. Everyone laughed at me. But when Pearce made mimosas with the champagne, they said that I had used my head on that one. It turned out to be a perfectly beautiful day.

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

The following Saturday, a rowdy group of Charleston socialites, minus myself, showed up at nine a.m. for my appointment at Maisie’s Trousseau and Bridal Boutique. Apparently it was the it place in Charleston for couture wedding gowns and I was guaranteed to find my Angel Sanchez treasure, or so Ava and the gang assured me. I still wasn’t sure about all of this but Pearce made me promise not to look at the price tag because he said he didn’t give a bloody damn what my dress cost. He wanted me to be happy in whatever I chose. But boy it was hard ignoring those little pieces of cardboard dangling off the zippers.

Ava and Lisbeth were right about Angel. That man knew exactly what he was doing when it came to wedding gowns. They were utterly magnificent. The only problem was I liked them all. His designs weren’t the standard strapless, sweetheart neckline, hourglass shape that every bride seemed to be clamoring for. They were gowns made for angels that were sexy, tasteful and unbelievably gorgeous. They flattered everything about the wearer, emphasizing every asset and hiding every flaw.

I finally settled on the first gown I tried on. It had an illusion neckline, making it appear sleeveless and off the shoulders, when it actually had sheer fabric that afforded a boat neckline. The dress was fitted and had fabric beads sewn onto it until it hit mid thigh where it was covered in layers of chiffon and stiff ribbon, giving it an ethereal look. All the women couldn’t stop oohing over it. I couldn’t tear my eyes off of it. It was perfect.

“Well this is the one.”

Everyone clapped and I cried. Damn that made me mad. Now I had to try on veils. I opted for the one that matched the bottom of the dress. It was plain and simple with just a thin strip of that stiff ribbon that attached to my hair. The veil was the same fabric so it didn’t detract from the dress. What I think I loved the most about this gown was it didn’t have a train so I wouldn’t have to worry about a bustle and all that mess during the reception.

Next I picked out shoes and I was finished.

“Well, girls, why don’t you look at the bridesmaid’s dresses. I kind of like the idea of everyone wearing the same color but a different dress.

I’d asked a friend of mine from work to be in the wedding as well. She could always come and pick out a dress later.

“Lex, what color were you thinking?”

I smiled. “I’m going to let you too haggle over it but I get the final decision.”

“Yay,” they both screamed.

Ava yelled out brown and Terri yelled out navy. I laughed. I liked both. Both girls liked either color too.

Avery piped in and said, “You know girls, since it’s going to be October, brown would be gorgeous with some pretty autumn colored flowers to accent it.”

“Ooh, that’s right,” Terri agreed. “I hadn’t thought about it being autumn.”

Avery took it one step further. “Why don’t you girls look at that color bronze that’s so popular.”

Both their eyes lit up and they headed over to the bridesmaid dresses to look. The sales clerk, Rosa, came out and suggested they might rethink the bronze idea. Lots of manufacturers can’t match up the color.

“Back to brown ladies,” I yelled. “Thanks Rosa.”

By one, we were finished, so we headed to Pete’s Cafe for some lunch. We were all starved, as shopping and trying on clothes makes one especially hungry. Terri was holding up pretty good in her wheelchair. He cast was coming off the following week and she would be starting therapy. I knew she was scared so I think the shopping excursion was a good outing for her.

When we were finished, she called Justin and he was there a few minutes later, ready to take her home.

“Call me after your appointment on Monday,” I told her.

“Okay.”

“Thanks for coming. You know how much it meant to have you here with me, don’t you?”

“Yeah. Love ya girl.”

“Love you too.”  I hugged her hard and Justin put her in the car and off they went.

********

Work had cranked up like mad. I didn’t know if was the summer months or because we were being awarded contracts left and right. We ended up getting Carolinas Healthcare System, so now I was working on Emory Healthcare System in Atlanta. Life was crazy.

Pearce was insanely busy too. Summer time brought in all sort of trauma, a lot of it from boating accidents and other things people shied away from in the winter months.

Avery and Susan had decided that our wedding reception would have to take place at the Charleston Harbor and Yacht Club.  And I don’t just mean a room there. They were renting out the entire club.

“Are you sure? Won’t that be too expensive?”

They both scoffed at me. “There’s nothing too expensive for my first grandson’s wedding honey. Remember, the two of you decided against Middleton Manor. That didn’t leave us many options due to space restrictions. We needed huge because the guest list is over eight hundred.”

I gulped, then gasped
.
What the fuck! Eight hundred. Surely I heard wrong.

“Did you just say eight hundred?”

“Uh huh sweetie. We did warn you didn’t we? Or at least I thought we did. Didn’t we warn her Susan?”

“I assumed Pearce told her.”

I started fanning myself.  I didn’t even know eight hundred people. I didn’t think I knew eight hundred people if I started adding them up from birth.

“Who are these people?”

“Oh honey, don’t you worry yourself about them. They’re just a bunch of local idiots.”

“Avery,” Susan admonished. “They’re not all like that.”

“No, there will be about twenty normal people there, and Lisbeth will be one of them,” she said with a chuckle.

Shitfuckdamnhell!

“I’m going to kill him,” I said out loud.

“What’s that honey?”

“Nothing.”

********

I was waiting on Pearce when he got in from work. My foot was tapping in a rhythmless fashion on the wooden floor and I was twitching like mad.

He looked at me and automatically smiled and then his face crashed to the floor.

“What happened? Are you sick?”

“Eight hundred fucking people? Are you out of your mind? What the fuck Pearce Middleton. How the hell am I supposed to even pretend I’m enjoying myself when I won’t know who the hell I’m chatting with at any given moment.” My eyes were darting around like a rat’s looking to scurry at any minute.

“Deep breaths sweetheart. Breathe Alexia.” His arms were around me and his breath was fanning my neck. “Come on, breathe with me honey. Inhale to the count of four, three, two, one and hold. Good now exhale to the count of four, three, two, one and now relax. Let’s repeat.” We did, over and over, until I felt that panicky feeling dissipate and my chest no longer was tight.

I rubbed my face against his cheek and sighed. “Better?” he wanted to know.

“Yeah, thanks. I didn’t think the whole town was coming.”

He just laughed. “Baby, I told you I’d take you to Elvis’ Chapel in Vegas.”

“Yeah and your family would’ve hated me forever.”

“No one could hate you once they get to know you.”

I grabbed two handfuls of his shirt and pulled him to me. “I missed you.”

“Me too. As for the wedding, honey we didn’t have much choice. It was just one of those things. But don’t worry, I won’t leave your side for a second and I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

I believed him because he’d never given me any reason not to trust him.

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

October first was here. Ava and I were going for a final dress fitting today. It was Saturday morning and I was getting married in exactly four weeks. I needed to pick out my under garments when I was there and I wanted it to be something really sexy. I’d get Ava to help me.

I put the gown on and cried. It was so lovely. This was one time I wish I had a mom who gave a shit about me. Well, okay, that’s not exactly true. There had been many times, but it was my wedding dress for cryin’ out loud. I’d even take my dad or my sister for Christ’s sake. Or a step mom if I had one. I wish I had one...one that was nice and that cared about me because my mom sure as hell didn’t.

Okay, time to move on. Ava was looking at me and she asked me if I was okay. Phil told me I needed to quit evading these types of questions with people I was close to so they didn’t think I was distant. It would also let them know I was trying to deal with this issue.

“Just a back flash...a thought of my mom and how I wish she wasn’t such a bitch.”

“I get it and no worries.” She smiled. She didn’t know how lucky she was.

I purchased everything and we left. My dress would stay there until the day of the wedding, when they would steam it and deliver it to the church. That was nice of them because I was wondering how I would get into the car wearing the damn thing.

I dropped Ava off and headed back to my carriage house. I grabbed up the mail and went inside. There was one of those bubble envelopes addressed to me so I opened it and inside was a DVD.

Not thinking, I popped it into my DVD player and I stood there as it started playing, watching in horror, as I saw myself naked in bed with Beavis and Butthead. It wasn’t so much that I was naked either. I was crawling all over the two of them like some animal. My hands, mouth and tongue were all over every part of them and theirs were all over me. My stomach suddenly lurched violently, sending me racing for the bathroom and I vomited into the toilet. It went on and on. Every time I thought of that fucking DVD...or maybe I should’ve said tha
t
fuc
k
DVD, another spasm sent my stomach contents straight to the toilet. I seriously didn’t think I’d ever stop throwing up.

When there was nothing left in my gut, I walked into the living room, ejected the DVD and smashed the DVD player into a million pieces. Then I picked up the TV and took it outside and threw it down on the driveway. I went back inside and found a hammer and beat on it some more.

I trudged back inside and looked at the envelope the fucking thing came in. No return address, of course. But I’d missed the typewritten note that had accompanied it.

Best wishes on your upcoming wedding Lexi. Maybe this will teach you not to fuck with me.

P.S. Your fiancé is getting his own little present.

The note fluttered through my fingers and flitted to the floor like a feather. I watched it like it was in slow motion.

I needed to call someone, but whom? Pearce was who I wanted to call...needed to call. But by now, I’m sure he regretted ever knowing me. I didn’t want to bother Terri because she had her own problems to deal with and she didn’t need this burden. There wasn’t anyone else who I knew except Justin, and I couldn’t call him.

I had to go to Pearce’s, at least to let him tell me good-bye or whatever. I’d make it easy on him because he never deserved this. And then maybe I’d call Phil. I really didn’t know how I would survive this. I would have to move away from here. By now, this shit was probably all over the internet.

Not even bothering to grab my purse or lock the door, I took Pearce’s keys so I could give them back to him and walked the few blocks to his house. When I went inside, I didn’t have to be told he’d gotten his copy. His big screen TV was busted up into tiny pieces, just like my little one was.

Glancing around the room, I let the memories of all the wonderful times we had in here wash over me like a soothing balm. God I loved this home. It was more than just a house to me. It was a place where I’d always felt safe and welcome. Where I knew I could find peace and serenity. Where Pearce’s arms would be open and waiting for me.

The tears were dripping off my chin before I even realized I was crying. There was one thing I had to do before I left this house for the last time.
I decided I wanted to spend time up on the widow’s walk. Grabbing Pearce’s iPod and miniature speakers, I ran up the two flights of stairs and walked outside. It was a warm October day and I plopped down with a thud in the middle of the floor. I hunted the music I knew would be on a playlist somewhere from the night we got engaged...the beautiful night we spent up here. It was mostly classical music with some romantic tunes mixed in. Why I was torturing myself, I couldn’t answer. The only thing I knew was this would be the last chance I would have to spend up here, so I wanted to do it remembering our special night.

The music haunted me so. I could see his face as he brought me here in the moonlight and surprised me with all the decorations he had planned. The bed draped in soft gauzy fabric and the tiny white lights that twinkled. The candlelight, but mostly Pearce...his face, his touch, his lips, his scent, the way only he could make me feel. I sobbed then.  Curling up into a ball, I wanted the world to go away and just let me stay here forever.

It was dusk when I woke up, his iPod clutched in my hand. I’m not even sure what woke me. The music was still playing, loudly, and all of a sudden, the door flew open and there he stood.

My swollen eyes were a dead giveaway that I’d been crying all afternoon.

“Shit Alexia.” His voice made me shiver. Then the tears started streaming again.

“I’m so fucking sorry Pearce.” I took my ring off and handed it to him. “Here. This is yours and you should have it back. I don’t want this to be hard on you. All of this, every single bit of it is my fault, and I’ll bear the responsibility for it.”

“You’re giving me my ring back? Why?”

“So you won’t have to marry me. I don’t want to be an embarrassment to you or your family.”

“Fuck that Alexia. I’ll take the ring back, but only if you don’
t
wan
t
to marry me ‘cause I don’t want to live without you. I keep telling you...I’m here till the end. When are you going to start listening?”

“Huh? Didn’t you get that DVD?”

“Yeah, those fucking shits. Did you get my texts?”

“No.”

“I’ve been texting you all afternoon. I wondered why you hadn’t answered. I just got done with John and I went to your place and found your car and purse but no you. I started to freak.”

None of this was making any sense to me. If he saw the DVD, he saw what I did. That I was...oh God. My hand flew to my mouth and I stood up. My eyes cast around, looking for a place to hurl. I knew I wouldn’t make it to the bathroom.

“What is it?” his voice was laced with concern.

“Sick,” was all I could get out before I just gagged. Since I hadn’t eaten anything and had all but gotten everything out before, nothing came up. I guess there was nothing left.

“Jeez, Lex, you okay?” He stood behind me, one arm around my waist, the other holding my hair.

I shuddered.  I didn’t think I’d ever be okay.

“Come on baby, I’m gonna take you inside.” He lifted me in his arms and I was lying in his bed with a cool cloth on my head in minutes. I just lay there and cried. I couldn’t stop.

“Pearce, I really need you to hold me right now. Just hold me tight. I’m so scared.”

“Okay, sweetheart. But please don’t be scared. I’ve got you Lex and I’m not going to let anything hurt you again.  Will you do me a huge favor?”

“Yeah. What is it?”

“Will you let me put your ring back on you?”

I smiled and stuck out my finger. I was shivering from all the crap I went through, but when his warm strong arms wound themselves around me, I felt instantly better.

“Ahh, this feels so good. I was so cold.”

“I can tell. Your teeth are chattering.”

“Who’s John?”

“The family attorney. I went straight to him with this. He called the police. They’re tracking this down and they now think there may be a connection with your abduction. They’re scanning internet sites to see when this shows up. This is illegal as hell Alexia. They didn’t have your permission. You know where they live. You know his tag number and we’re going to find him and press charges.”

“I feel so dirty Pearce.”

He didn’t say anything for a long moment...a very long moment.

“Alexia, I won’t lie and say it was my finest moment to see you in that DVD.”

“No, please stop.” I couldn’t hear him talk about it. I just couldn’t bear to hear about it from him lips.

“We have to Lex. If we don’t talk about it, it will eat us alive later on. Don’t you understand that?”

“But I’m so embarrassed by it. I saw myself and I was sick Pearce, violently sick. I didn’t think I’d ever stop throwing up.”

“I think I understand.”

“No, you don’t. What if it had been you in the tape. Then how would you feel.”

“Probably like you feel now.”

The fact that this man was holding me in his arms, in his bed and still wanted me to be his wife told me more than I would ever need to know about him for the rest of my life.

“I thought I’d lost you over this.”

“Hardly. There’s only one thing that would cause us to lose each other.

“Yeah? What?”

“Think about it.”

My eyelids became too heavy to keep open so I gave up the fight and drifted off. 

He was chasing me and I was running as fast as I could but it was no use. His creepy laughter echoed in my ears as he got closer and closer. I could hear his labored breathing which was a miracle because I was breathing so hard I felt like I was drawing in air through a straw. His steel like fingers gripped my shoulder so hard, I cried out in pain.

“Gotcha,” he laughed, the nasty sound grating across my skin. I started to scream and fight, trying to break his hold on me.

Then I felt something I loved against my cheek, something smooth and warm, and I heard a deep voice speak softly to me. “Alexia, wake up sweetheart.”

Warm arms embraced me and strong yet gentle hands cupped my face. My eyelids fluttered open to see Pearce’s face, inches from mine.

“I was so scared,” I whispered.

“Shh, it was only a dream.”

“Not that. I was so scared today. Of losing you. Of how I thought you would want me gone. Of living my life without you.” I trembled.

He brushed the backs of his fingers across my cheeks. “Never! I don’t ever want you gone. That dream messed with you. What was it?”

“He was chasing me and caught me. I tried to fight him off, but you woke me in time.”

“Then I’ll always have to wake you in time.”

I clasped my hands together and twisted them. I looked at him and then back at my hands.

“What?” he asked. He knew me better than I knew myself.

“We have to tell your family.”

He scrubbed his face and sat up against the headboard of the bed. Pulling me against him. “I know. I’m going to do it.”

“No, I am.”

“I don’t think...”

I cut him off by putting my hand on his lips. Then I picked up one of his hands and placed it over my heart. “This is yours. Forever. But I won’t have us get in the way of your relationship with your family. I’ve never had that. I envy what you have with them. It’s my responsibility to tell all of them, including Avery. I did it, I fucked up. Not you.”

He pulled me on his lap and put his forehead against mine. “I’ll do it if you can’t. I’ll be with you to hold your hand and whatever else you need me to do.”

“Pearce, can I ask you something and will you answer me honestly?”

“Yeah, always.”

“Do you still love me? I mean really love me?”

“Of course I do.”

“When we make love...when we’ll be together naked, and I’ll have my mouth on you everywhere, and my tongue on you, will you be able to love me like you did before today?”

“Yes, because that girl I saw in the DVD wasn’t my Alexia. She may have looked like her, but honey, that wasn’t you. Do you hear what I’m saying to you?”

I nodded, got up and went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I got back in bed next to him and kissed him. I needed him more than I ever needed him before. I had to prove to myself things were okay between us. If they weren’t I would leave tonight and save him the humiliation of dealing with his family.

I was so scared...so scared he wouldn’t want me. When I kissed him, I was shy, like it was the first time I’d ever kissed anyone.

“Oh God Alexia, honey. You don’t really believe me, do you? I guess I’m gonna have to show you then.”

He pushed me on my back and crawled up my body. Then he unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans and slid them off my hips. I felt the cool air hit my skin and goose bumps erupted all over me. He skimmed his hand across my belly and bent to tease my belly button with his tongue.