Ella Finds Love Again (4 page)

Ella felt the blood creep up her neck. The emotion seemed so disconnected with any of her other feelings, like it stood by itself, the only part of her that touched the man.

Susanna passed the bowl of potatoes in Ivan’s direction. He dipped a little out into Mary’s bowl first and then Sarah’s, one girl seated at his side, the other opposite him.

“Are you feeding the baby from the table yet?” Ella asked, wondering if she should reveal that she’d been doing so at her house.

“Oh, as much or as little as she wants,” Ivan said, laughing. “I let her play with it when no one is here. I manage to get some in her mouth with a spoon.”

“The baby needs a mamm,” Susanna said plainly.

Ella felt the red creep up her neck again.

Ivan slapped a small portion of mashed potatoes on baby Barbara’s plate, pulling his hand back in expectation. Barbara seemed to know the routine and stuck her fingers in the soft white and then sucked on them. Ivan laughed and added more potatoes.

“Now I have seen everything!” Susanna said, nearly jumping to her feet.

“I do believe it helps them grow faster when they take food in through the skin,” Ivan said. “Now sit down. She’ll live through it.”

Susanna settled back into her chair, keeping her eyes away from the high chair.

They did make a cute though sloppy sight, the bearded father poised over the baby, his spoon held in the air, the child happily smearing mashed potatoes over her face, getting small portions in her mouth. Ella couldn’t help but smile. After a brief silence, she asked, “How are your parents?”

“Mamm gets weaker every day it seems,” Susanna said. “Daett’s a lot stronger than she is. But winter’s hard on both of them.”

“I would suppose so,” Ella said.

“Susanna does more than her duty with them,” Ivan said. “I wish I could do more, and the rest of our brothers and sisters have large families, so they don’t get over much either.”

“I’ve been glad to help,” Susanna said. “And I think it will be over soon. The old folks might not see another winter…at least not Mamm.”

“It’s that bad?” Ivan asked.

“I’m afraid so,” Susanna said. “It’s hard to tell with Mamm sick so much. Plus she’s cold even when we keep the stove hot all night. Daett’s probably sitting in front of the stove right now, keeping the fire hot for her.”

“Are they okay alone if Mamm’s in a bad way?” Ivan asked.

“She had the flu all week, but not much can be done except watch her. Daett’s still able to do that. They don’t eat much…soup mostly. I heated that before I came over.”

“I want Ella to sleep in my room tonight,” Mary said, apparently following her own train of thought.

“Ella can’t,” Susanna said. “She will be over to my place.”

“But I want her with me,” Mary said.

“You’ll see her next week,” Susanna said. “That’s just the way things are.”

Mary smiled when Ella patted her on the head.

Ivan didn’t say anything. His plate was piled high with mashed potatoes and gravy, his youngest daughter beside him, her face covered with food from forehead to chin.

Four

T
he kerosene lamp cast shadows on the kitchen wall as little Mary stood with a white dishtowel and wiped diligently until every section of the plate in her hand was covered at least twice.

“That’s dry now,” Ella said. “Bring it over here to this side of the sink. Then you can have another one.”

Susanna backed away from the stack of rinsed dishes, making room for Mary.

“I want to help too,” Sarah protested from her perch on the kitchen table bench.

“Then take a towel and take a dish to the table. Do like Mary does,” Ella told her.

“I don’t want to do it at the table. You let us stand beside you at your house,” Sarah said, her face in a pout.

“That’s because there’s more room at Ella’s place. But I’m here now,” Susanna said. “So do what Ella says.”

“I like it best at Ella’s house,” Sarah said with a frown.

Ella shrugged and smiled weakly at Susanna. “I just have my ways, I guess.”

“It’s high time they have one place,” Susanna turned her head to whisper. “And one mamm.”

Ella hung her head, feeling pale all the way down to her toes.

“It’s nothin’ to be ashamed of,” Susanna said, glancing in Ella’s direction. “Everyone knows my brother’s seein’ you…and most would have you married by this fall already. Let me tell you that I don’t think Ivan can ever do any better. You are exactly what he needs.”

“Thanks,” Ella said with a nod, hoping this would suffice. She really didn’t want to justify her hesitation—at least not to Ivan’s sister.

“I’m done again,” Mary said, raising a plate high above her head.

“Put it back here. Don’t drop it,” Ella said.

Mary laid the dish carefully on the countertop. “Are there anymore?” she asked, standing on tiptoes to search the counter.

“No, we’re all done,” Ella said. “Go on into the living room—and take Sarah with you. I’ll be in for prayers soon.”

Mary walked over to the end of the kitchen table and extracted Sarah from the bench with a pull on her arm. Sarah sleepily followed as the two girls went hand in hand to the living room.

“You’re a good mamm already,” Susanna said, approval in her voice.

“I try,” Ella said. “Do you think Ivan’s ready for evening prayers? I imagine we’d best get back to your place before it gets much later.”

“Yah, we’d better get back,” Susanna said, leading the way into the living room. Ivan was sitting in his rocker, a Bible open on his lap. He looked up and smiled when Ella entered, his blue eyes on her face. Ella lowered her head, keeping her eyes on Mary and Sarah.

“May I sit beside you?” she asked the two girls. When they nodded, she took a seat on the edge of the couch.

“We’d best have prayers now, Ivan,” Susanna said. “Mamm and Daett have been alone long enough.”

“I agree,” Ivan said. “And thanks for the supper, Susanna.”

Ella nodded her agreement. Already, Ivan and she were like a couple, the children gathered around, both of them thanking their guest for what she had brought. Ella sat back on the couch and let the feeling rush over her. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. They would be the mistress and master of their own house, with the children
Da Hah
had already given, and then with the children
Da Hah
would surely give in the future.

Ivan opened the prayer book, and his eyes searched the pages as he turned them…until he seemed satisfied. He began to read slowly, about the Good Shepherd who cared for His sheep. The words were familiar to Ella. At the end, Ivan simply slid from the rocker, turned, and knelt beside it. Susanna and Ella immediately followed suit. Ella, while on her knees, helped Mary and Sarah turn around. Little baby Barbara was left to kick her legs on the blanket.

In a mellowed version of his preacher’s voice, Ivan read the prayer through.

Ella listened. She liked the sound of his voice. This wasn’t quite the way he used to sound during his Sunday sermons—before he changed. His old version of a sermon was to thunder against all the evils—real and imagined—that crossed his mind.

“Amen,” Ivan said, closing his prayer.

Ella waited until he had gotten halfway to his feet before she took her hand off Mary’s shoulder.

“Time for bed now,” she said to both the girls. “Come and I’ll tuck you in.”

“The baby doesn’t sleep in our bedroom,” Mary announced. “Not like she does when we’re with you.”

Ella nodded. She hadn’t known, but of course Ivan would keep the baby in his bedroom. It made perfect sense.

“Your daett has to watch her,” Ella whispered in Mary’s ear. “And he can’t do that if she’s upstairs and he’s…”

“No, he can’t,” Mary said as Sarah nodded soberly.

Ella could feel Ivan’s eyes on the back of her neck, but she didn’t turn around. Quickly she took both girls’ hands in hers. “I’ll be right back,” she said in Susanna’s direction.

“They can put themselves to bed,” Ivan said, his rocker creaking on the floor.

“I guess I like to spoil them,” she said, turning to face him.

His eyes were friendly and warm, so perhaps he wouldn’t complain that she had contradicted him. If she were to be his wife, he needed to know her ways.

“They can take some spoilin’, I guess,” he said, dropping his eyes to the open Bible on his lap.

Ella nodded. He hadn’t disapproved, but that still left much unexplained. Did he tolerate public disagreements?

“I’ll wait for you, so take your time,” Susanna said, her voice low. “It’s going to be rough walking home in the snow.”

“Yah,” Ella said. “The snowstorm. I guess I forgot.” She glanced out the window where the snow was still falling heavily.

“Maybe you’d best both stay here?” Ivan questioned, concern on his face.

“I would,” Susanna said, “but Mamm and Daett can’t be left alone.”

“Then let me shovel some sort of path for you,” Ivan said, getting to his feet.

“I wouldn’t trouble myself,” Susanna said. “The wind will blow any path shut pretty quick.”

“It’ll last long enough for you to get to the house,” Ivan said, reaching for his coat and motioning with his head toward Ella.

“I can make it in snow,” Ella said.

Susanna thought about it and then said, “But it would make it easier, yah?”

“It looks like we don’t have much to say about it,” Ella said as Ivan’s back disappeared out the washroom door. She held open the stair door with Sarah’s hand still in hers, contemplating the complete darkness up the steps.

“I’ll get the light from the kitchen,” Ella said. “Just wait for me here.” She hurried off and quickly returned. With the kerosene lamp held high, Ella followed the girls’ hesitant steps up the stairs. In the bedroom they quickly undressed themselves. Ella helped Sarah pull her nightgown over her head as Mary raced them. Ella noticed and slowed down for just a few seconds so Mary could gain ground.

“I got done first…and all by myself!” Mary proclaimed.

“Yah, you did,” Ella said. “And that is
gut
.”

“I’ll be fast too…when I’m big,” Sarah said, jumping in the bed and snuggling under the covers.

“Yes, you will. Goodnight,” Ella said tucking in both girls. She took the kerosene lamp, walked out of the room, and shut the door gently behind her. Quietly she returned downstairs.

Susanna was at the front door, her heavy black winter coat on. Ella retrieved her shawl and dress coat from the kitchen, slipping them on, along with her bonnet, and followed Susanna outside into the storm. Ivan was nowhere to be seen, but he had left a narrow path that disappeared into the swirl of snow.

“Here we go,” Susanna said, laughing, her voice brave. “I guess we did need a path shoveled.”

“Yah, I would say so,” Ella said, gasping as her foot nearly slipped.

She grabbed on to Susanna’s heavy winter coat and hung on. Her balance regained, she tottered along, joining in with Susanna’s giggles. Carefully they followed the little strip of path and were quickly swallowed up in the darkness.

“You think he’s goin’ in the right direction?” Susanna asked. “We could get lost out here.”

“I think so,” Ella said. “That’s what my sense of direction says at least. Aren’t we going downhill?”

“I guess so,” Susanna said, moving forward again.

Time seemed to stand still in the shadowy darkness. The distance across was not far, but they had been walking for what seemed like ages. How quickly the world could change. Only hours ago she had arrived, and now the place could barely be recognized. Ella slipped again, saved by her grasp on Susanna’s heavy coat.

“It must be my Sunday boots,” Ella gasped. “I can’t seem to keep on my feet.”

“It’s more than that,” Susanna hollered into the wind. “But we’ll make it.”

Ivan’s form appeared suddenly, like a ghost out of the whiteness.

Susanna cried in surprise, stopping so quickly Ella bumped into her.

“It’s my boots,” Ella said again. “They’re slick.”

“Did you hurt yourself?” Susanna asked, her voice sounding frozen as she offered her hand until Ella was steady again.

“
Nee
,” Ella whispered. “I’m fine.”

“We’re almost there,” Ivan hollered above the storm. “I can see the house ahead.”

“You sure you’re taking us right?” Susanna hollered back.

“Yes,” he replied.

“You’re tired, Ivan. Let me take a turn,” Susanna yelled at her brother’s back.

“I can take a turn too,” Ella said. “Anything to keep warm.”

“I might take you up on that,” Ivan yelled back, stepping off to the side and handing Susanna the shovel. She gamely attacked the drifts.

“The house is over there,” Ivan said, pointing into the darkness.

Susanna adjusted her direction slightly.

“It’s quite a night,” Ivan said, turning to Ella. “I hope people are careful out on a night like this. No one could get far on these roads.”

“You be careful yourself going back,” Ella replied.

Ivan laughed heartily. “I will. But I do think I’d better check the barn after I get you to the
dawdy haus.
One of the cows could be down.”

“You think so?” Ella asked. “Were you having problems?”

“No,” he said, glancing toward Susanna’s back. “I’m just making certain.”

“My turn,” Ella said, slipping past him and tapping Susanna’s coat.

Susanna handed her the shovel, blowing her breath out with a huge, “Whee!” She unhooked the top snaps of her heavy coat. “I was getting warm.”

“That’s more than I can say,” Ella said, peering off into the darkness, faintly seeing the frame of a house ahead. She dug in with the shovel, heaving the snow downwind. She kept the path only a shovel wide. As they neared the front steps, she could still breathe easily. Gratefully she handed the shovel to Ivan when he offered to take it.

With a flourish he completed the last few feet.

Before the two women could open the front door, they heard Ivan say, “You girls take care of yourselves!” He disappeared quickly up the little path.

Five