Embracing Change (26 page)

“Lord, we come to You today, with hearts full of pain and suffering and ask that you wash us with Your forgiveness. We know this situation is a microcosm of how this nation feels as a whole. Past acts of discrimination, hatred and violence have woven the fabric of this land into what it is today. Your word says if Your people who are called by Your name, will humble themselves and pray, and seek Your face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will You hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. We humble ourselves today, Lord, and repent for our sins and the sins of our fathers and their fathers before them. Come and heal this land and build bridges of reconciliation.”

Sarah felt tears splashing down her face, splattering on her dusty feet. She had never seen things so clearly. It was as though God had taken a key and opened the door of her heart, allowing truth and hope to flood in. She gently disengaged herself from Joel and turned to Mrs Dlamini, folding her diminutive frame in a firm embrace. “I’m sorry,” her voice broke. “I never thought of Sipho having a family. I never thought his actions could have hurt people besides myself. I’ve been selfish and I’m really sorry.” They clung together, tears mingling, a tiny pocket of hope and restoration in a stricken land.

Chapter Thirty Five

I looked into the eyes of Mrs Dlamini and saw the hurt of a nation.

From the journal of Sarah Johnson

Friday 19th December

There’s one more thing we need to do.” Joel put his arm around Sarah’s shoulders as she looked up, questioningly. “We need to visit the site of the shooting.”

Fresh tears seeped slowly from her eyes but she knew he was right. “Now?” she asked.

Joel nodded, turning his gaze to Thabo. “Do you know how to get there?”

“Yes, we can go now if you wish.”

Sarah reached out her arms to Mrs Dlamini as they prepared to leave and the embrace was sincere and heartfelt. Although neither woman spoke, Sarah felt it was a spark of hope in a nation, hurting and wounded. She knew the moment would remain in her heart for ever.

Though the sun was sinking, the car was baking hot and vinyl seats burned the back of Sarah’s legs. Thabo passed her an old rag to tuck beneath them. He pulled onto the road and they retraced their journey between rows of shacks, past women sitting on the roadside, braiding each other’s hair into tight corn rows, and past laughing children. The air was still and even from the car, Sarah could see the sheen of perspiration on their smooth dark skin.

“It’s about twenty minutes from here.” Thabo flicked his indicators on and took a left turn that led past a row of tin shacks. A cluster of children shouted and waved, banging sticks together as the car passed.
A different world
,
so different to mine.

She was still absorbed in her thoughts when Thabo pulled the car off the road. “This is it,” he announced.

Sarah realised she wouldn’t have recognised the area. It looked innocuous in the late afternoon light; like any roadside in Johannesburg.

“Come.” Joel opened the back door and offered her his hand. David made as if to climb out, but he saw that Joel was the one she needed now.

Tentatively she stepped out of the car and looked round, taking in the broad shoulder of gravel and sweeping arc of guard rail. Heat rays reflected off the tarmac in shimmering waves as cars raced past.

“Can you remember where it happened, Sarah?”

She was almost afraid to look at the spot; afraid the stain of Luke’s life would still be there.

“Sarah?”

She forced herself to look to the left and saw only pale gravel. No doubt a fresh layer would have been added and months of sun and rain would have bleached the area clean.

“Over there,” she whispered. “In front of the cross on the guard rail.”

Joel tugged gently on her hand. “Come and look at the cross. You told me you’d never seen it.”

They walked across the gravel, shoes crunching and hands intertwined. The cross looked older than it was; a piece of fragile timber weathered by fierce sunlight and icy winds. Sarah read the inscription out loud: “In memory of Luke Raycroft. With love from family and friends.”

Joel turned her face to his, cupping her chin in his hand. “How do you feel? Are you coping alright?”

She nodded.

“Let’s pray then.”

“What about Thabo and Dad?” She was vaguely aware they were still sitting in the car.

“Do you want me to call them?”

She nodded, wrapping her arms around herself. “I think they need to be included.”

Seconds later, the men took up position around her and Joel began to pray. “Thank you for mercy, Lord. Thank you for grace. Thank you for the ability to forgive, even when the hurt seems endless and overwhelming.” He placed a hand on her back. “I bring Sarah to you and ask for complete restoration in her heart. Pour in Your healing and help her to remember the good times with Luke, to rejoice in the time she had with him.”

As he prayed, memories swept across Sarah’s mind, crisp and clear, and she could see the scene with startling clarity. She saw herself, struggling with the seat belt and stumbling across the gravel as Dlamini raised his gun, felt the terrible fear as the shots rang out … but there was something different now; a new dimension; a day-vision. Wondrously, she saw angels around Luke, holding his head, supporting his arms, tenderly caring for him. She saw them surrounding them both as she threw herself across Luke, pleading for his life, trying to protect him. Then the picture changed. Luke was above her, rising into the air, angels on either side as he ascended into the darkened sky. She was left behind, lying on her back as Dlamini turned the gun on her. The memory was so real, she flinched as the shot blasted through her shoulder … and then she saw Jesus beside her, kneeling, cradling her in His arms.

You were there, Lord?
she thought, dumbfounded. Verses Joel had underlined in his Bible came pouring through her mind:
Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
Whoever touches you touches the apple of my eye.

The feelings that had begun in the little home in Soweto intensified and Sarah felt currents of warmth and love surging from deep within her, washing out the last debris of hatred and bitterness, the hardness that had crushed her heart. In their place she felt freedom and forgiveness pouring in, and knew what she had to do.

The gravel cut her knees as she fell down on it, remembering the desperation and horror the last time she knelt there. “I give myself to you, Jesus, and I ask that you heal Sipho Dlamini’s heart. Cut out the anger and hatred that so consumes him.” Tears were running down her cheeks and splashing onto the burning gravel. “I understand, Lord, for the same anger and hatred that consumes him, consumed me. He needs you, Lord, and so do I. Have mercy on us both and bring restoration into our lives.”

She sucked in a deep breath and looked across the dry landscape, the flat-topped mine dumps and sun, sinking like a golden orb, light diffusing into soft rays.

“I forgive you, Sipho. I forgive you for killing Luke. I forgive you for what you did to me.”

Chapter Thirty Six

I’ll say yes to Joel today. Yes to being his wife, yes to honouring and obeying him, yes to loving him through all that life may throw at us.

From the journal of Sarah Johnson

Saturday 28th February

It was a beautiful day in late summer, and Christchurch was at its best. Sarah looked down at her dress of shimmering white lace and satin; looked at the roses in her hand. Her dad stood on one side of her and Jade and Trisha on the other.

“You look gorgeous,” she whispered, admiring their long sky-blue gowns and the tiny flowers twisted into their hair.

“You ready?” her father asked.

“Not quite.”

He touched her arm. “Take your time. There’s no rush.”

She smiled, her mind drifting back to Luke. He’d always be part of her memories, a treasured part of her life, but she’d said goodbye now. His pictures were packed away and the loss was tempered by knowing he was with the Lord.

Thank you for changing my life, Jesus,
she prayed silently as organ music swelled from the church and overflowed the car park where they were standing.
Thank you for persisting with me and loving me regardless of the way I behaved. I can’t imagine life without You
.

Her thoughts turned to Mandy, who’d declined the invitation to be a bridesmaid but had offered to help the bridal party with their makeup and hair. She’d moved up to Auckland and was dating a ‘lovely Christian man’ as she described him. All had been forgiven and Mandy had flown down especially for the wedding.

She looked at her dad, handsome in a charcoal suit, a pink rose through his buttonhole. His face was relaxed and happy, content she’d found the right man. And he’d fallen in love with New Zealand. “Give us six months to complete the paperwork,” he told her, “and we’ll be back for good.”

Mom was just as enthusiastic, and hit it off brilliantly with Joel’s parents. Izzy had been beside herself when Sarah and Joel called her on New Year’s Day to say they were engaged. “As soon as you’re back in New Zealand, we must have a party. I’ll do the catering and all your friends must come and spend the night at the farm.” So much love. So much acceptance.

Then she thought of Joel, who had started it all by waiting for her in the mountains that day. Dear Joel who never gave up on her; who helped her find her feet in Christchurch; who influenced her towards accepting God into her life. Joel, who brought her paints for Christmas as confirmation that the colours were back in her life.

She slipped her arm into her dad’s and leaned her head on his shoulder. “I’m ready now.”

They started the slow walk into the church —to where Joel was waiting; to where the future brimmed with hope and promise.

The Author

Debbie Roome was born and raised in Zimbabwe, and later spent 15 years in South Africa. In 2006 she moved to New Zealand with her husband and five children. Writing has been her passion since the age of six; she loves to pen stories that touch people's lives and turn them towards God.

Debbie's writing has also opened doors for public speaking and she is often asked to share her life story, and her experiences as a writer.

Her major writing achievements include the trophy for Runner-up to the Writer of the Year, South Africa, 2004; placing second out of over seven thousand in the FaithWriterscom "Best of the Best" contest for 2007; and receiving the trophy from the South African Writers' Circle for the best self-published book of 2007.

In addition,
Embracing Change
won First Place in the Rose & Crown New Novels Competition of 2009.

After 15 years of owning a toy store, Debbie is now working full time at her writing and has never been more fulfilled. She is currently creating her next novel, a dramatic romance with a bit of intrigue-working title:
Broken Shells
. Watch her web site for more details:

www.debbieroome.com

PREVIEW SAMPLE CHAPTERS:

BLUE FREEDOM

by

SANDRA PEUT