Enlightened (7 page)
He was right, I would no doubt do it in the end, so feeling deservedly chastised I swallowed hard as I felt my submissive side pushing to the surface, ridiculously excited by the prospect of it getting an airing. Reacting to his authoritative tone I lowered my gaze and meekly mumbled a reply of ‘Yes, Sir,’ before turning myself and positioning my body as instructed. I was now knelt on the rear seat holding the headrest and facing out the back window as we trundled through London past busy throngs of unaware commuters. I heard the sound of Nathan opening the compartment again followed by some unidentifiable rustling, before he came to sit next to me and ran a soft finger down my cheek that had me leaning into his touch and closing my eyes in pleasure.
‘So perfect in your submission,’ he murmured appreciatively. Reaching up Nathan removed one of my hands from the seat and secured a brown leather cuff around the wrist before deftly reaching across and closing an identical cuff around the other arm. Gasping I looked at my wrists and saw that the leather cuffs were actually a pair of handcuffs. The two ends were attached with a silver chain which was also coincidentally wrapped around the car headrest, effectively holding me in place. ‘Nice, aren’t they?’ Nathan murmured, idly stroking his fingers around the soft leather and occasionally brushing over my fluttering pulse point. ‘They’re softer than the handcuffs I have at home, more sensuous. Do they feel OK? You’re comfortable?’
Since we’d been making a proper go at a relationship Nathan had reduced the kink factor quite a bit, but our relationship was still fiery in bed and I often called him ‘Sir’ in the bedroom just because it felt right to me, but in general we used toys and accessories a lot less. Looking at my bound wrists I felt a thrill run through me and realised now just how much I’d missed it. Licking my dry lips I tried to answer him, but no words came out. God I was so turned on that I literally couldn’t speak, so instead I nodded.
At my nod Nathan flicked my skirt up onto my back and landed a hard stinging slap to my bottom which had me yelping loudly and digging my nails into the headrest. ‘You know my rule on nodding, Stella,’ he reminded me firmly. Rubbing my bottom where he’d spanked me I found myself pushing it back into his palm, silently begging for more. I heard a soft contented sigh slip from his lips. ‘You look beautiful like this, Stella, wrapped in leather and begging for my touch, but you know that I’m going to need you to answer me verbally.’
In my aroused state I’d completely forgotten his dislike of nodding. Clearing my throat I tried again, desperate not to disappoint him. ‘Yes … yes, Sir, I’m green. I’m good.’ Green, wow, I hadn’t used the safe word colours for ages. We’d used them when we’d first got together as Dominant and submissive – green meaning happy and safe, yellow indicating a slight discomfort and need to discuss what was happening, and red meaning stop immediately, but they hadn’t passed my lips for months. Obviously Nathan’s sudden return to his Dominant ways had flicked me right back into my submissive zone and from the feel of the copious dampness between my thighs I was clearly loving every second of it.
‘Green?’ Nathan repeated softly, apparently thinking the same as me about how our current situation had temporally reverted us right back to the Dom /sub balance from the start of our relationship. Turning my head I looked him directly in the eyes, the flickering lust there no doubt reflecting my own, ‘Yes, Sir,’ I panted, knowing how much my use of his title would arouse him further .
Rubbing his hand repeatedly over my heated bottom until I moaned wantonly Nathan then chuckled. ‘Well, Stella, I have to say the afternoon is certainly looking up,’ he murmured before leaning across to tangle one hand in my hair and tug my mouth hard into his lips for a searing kiss. As his lips continued to shake my senses and send my arousal spiralling higher I clung to the head rest and allowed Nathan to do his thing as the hand on my bottom slipped further under my skirt and worked my knickers down until they fell around my knees.
Detaching his lips from mine with a growl Nathan swiftly moved himself onto the floor of the limousine, freed his erection from his trousers, and after a cursory stroke to ensure I was wet enough he rammed inside me in one hard thrust that threw me forwards into the seat. Greedily I quickly righted myself and pushed back against him to increase our contact by forcing him deeper within me, groaning and gyrating against him, which just seemed to further inflame him as he reached around and found my clit with his fingers. Nathan wasn’t playing soft and gentle today, his movements were hard, fast, and demanding which suited me just fine and for every thrust he gave me, I pressed back into him to ensure it was as deep as he could possibly go. With each stoke Nathan pulled himself out to the tip and then rammed back in to the hilt, hitting my G-spot and flicking my clit with his thumb as he continued to grunt and groan like a wild animal. Before long I felt the bursting pleasure of an orgasm break over me as I cried out sharply in pleasure and bit down on Nathan’s forearm to try and stifle my screams. Briefly my thoughts flew to the driver upfront as I tried to muffle my noises, but then Nathan let out an animalistic roar as he came that was so loud I almost laughed. If the driver hadn’t heard me, there was certainly a large chance he’d heard that. Oh well, hopefully the privacy divider was soundproof – failing that I could only hope the driver was discreet.
Collapsing his head into my back and panting fiercely, Nathan’s heated breath warmed me through my T-shirt, then after placing a kiss on the back on my neck he carefully allowed his softening cock to slip from me. Using a handkerchief to gently clean me he then undid the handcuffs, turned me in my seat, and took a minute to plug me into the seat belt. ‘Belted in … safety first,’ he murmured with a dirty smirk, dropping a kiss on the side of my mouth before sitting himself beside me and fastening his own seat belt, taking my hand in his.
Still panting, I leant my head back and closed my eyes contentedly whilst a large, satisfied grin spread across my face. Nathan’s thumb was rubbing soothing circles on the back of my hand and soon the tiredness from my earlier drinks, not to mention the exhausting orgasm, began to overwhelm me and as the car rocked and swayed its way through London I felt my eyes growing heavier and heavier.
I must have fallen completely asleep because the next time I was aware of anything I realised my head was nuzzled into Nathan’s shoulder at a sharp angle. As I tried to sit up my neck groaned its protest and I grimaced slightly as I straightened the crick out and rubbed at the sore spot. Prying my eyes open I pulled in a deep breath as I tried to wake up properly and felt Nathan’s body shake below me as he chuckled. ‘Morning, sleepyhead. Or should that be afternoon? Wear you out, did I?’ His voice was low and full of male self-satisfaction.
‘Mm-hmm …’ I agreed sleepily. Rubbing my hands over my face I blinked my heavy eyes several times until finally I could focus properly on the handsome, smiling face before me. How did Nathan always look so impeccable? It wasn’t so long ago that we’d shagged rampantly in the back of this very car and I no doubt looked creased, flushed, and thoroughly well-fucked while he just looked totally together and radiant.
Gradually I acknowledged that the car was no longer moving. ‘Are we home?’ I asked hopefully, I had no idea why, but even after that nap I still felt exhausted. A proper snooze in Nathan’s huge double bed would no doubt sort me out though.
‘Not yet, sweetheart.’ Leaning across me, Nathan began to unclip my seat belt and then in next to no time he’d dragged me across the small gap between us and settled me on his lap. Humming my appreciation of this new positioning I snuggled even closer and buried my head in Nathan’s chest and his intoxicating spicy scent. ‘We’ve stopped at the deli whilst Ryan grabs us some food for later, then we’ll pop by yours to get your clothes, but we’ll be home in no time.’ Pausing thoughtfully a small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, ‘I like that you call my place ‘home’,’ he added, ‘Maybe that means you’re finally coming around to the idea of moving in with me.’ God, not that subject
again
, I thought, with a roll of my eyes, but thankfully it was hidden by his chest so Nathan didn’t see.
As I settled happily into place Nathan’s head lowered and he nuzzled his face into my hair breathing deeply. Curious about what he was doing I didn’t move, or say anything to disturb the moment, and was quite amazed when he simply seemed to take a second or two to inhale me and then cuddle me closer. The simplicity of his romantic gesture very nearly had me saying ‘yes’ to moving in with him there and then, but as he dropped several kisses on my temple and pulled me tighter into his chest, my eyes grew heavy again and I contented myself with surrounding my senses with his reassuring scent and strong muscles as I drifted back to sleep.
The next time I woke up my nose informed me that I was still in Nathan’s lap, because my first conscious breath was filled with his spicy deliciousness. Taking vague stock of my position I noticed my legs were curled up to my tummy, my head rested on his chest, and one of his arms was circled protectively around my back. Given that I was now horizontal it was probably a fair bet to say we were no longer in the car. Opening my heavy eyes I blinked in confusion as I blearily took in my surroundings. I was right, we weren’t in the car anymore, but as my blurry vision marginally cleared I realised we weren’t at Nathan’s apartment as planned either. We were in my flat, on my bed, and he was holding me with one hand whilst also simultaneously checking his emails on my laptop.
It crossed my mind how funny he looked sat on my messy bed still dressed in his expensive suit, but then seeing me rouse myself from sleep Nathan glanced down and smiled, ‘Hey, sweetheart.’ Closing the laptop he pushed it away, shifted himself to the side of me, and placed a thumb under my chin to tilt my face upwards and meet his gaze. Looking into my eyes I saw concern reflected in his blue depths. ‘How are you feeling?’ Frowning at his odd comment and worried tone I tried to sit up only to discover that my entire body felt like it was stuck to him with a thick layer of sweat on my skin.
Ugh
, my T-shirt was soaked through. As I shifted myself again my head chose that moment to spin like a merry-go-round and then a heavy thumping settled in my temples as it became clear that I also had aching limbs and a sore throat.
Ugh
. Talk about a symptom overload.
‘Ugh … I feel awful, what …’ The pain in my throat quickly stopped me from speaking any more as I clutched my neck with a clammy palm and swallowed with a wince. God that hurt. I felt like I’d eaten glass shards for breakfast.
Feeling Nathan nod against the top of my head he gently shifted my leaden body across onto the cooler sheets on the other side of the bed and leant over, placing a hand on my forehead to check my temperature. My head was swimming and my vision wasn’t exactly great, but I kept my eyes open so I could watch my man fuss over me.
‘I thought you were just tired in the car so I left you to sleep, but by the time we got back to your flat I saw you had broken out in a fever. I carried you inside and you’ve barely stirred from your sleep for the last three hours.’
Three hours? I blinked sticky eyelids as I wondered where the heck this had come from. It felt like just minutes ago that I’d been enjoying the sunshine of Covent Garden and having risky liaisons in the back of a car. I really was becoming rather shameless. My self-analysis was brought to an abrupt halt as a painful shudder ran up my entire body, causing me to groan and roll up into a ball as yet more sweat popped out on my already burning face.
‘Try and lay still, I think you’re coming down with something, baby,’ Nathan murmured as he pulled the sheets further up to cover me.
If I didn’t feel half delirious I’d probably have been thrilled by the attention I was getting, but I could barely even focus now; Nathan’s gorgeous but troubled face began to blur and spin in front of my eyes and I suddenly felt like the bed was on fire. ‘Too hot,’ I gurgled, desperately trying to dislodge the sheet he’d just tucked around me so I could pull off my soaked T-shirt, but Nathan stopped me by gently pushing me back onto the bed. ‘I’ll get a cool flannel and a change of clothes, hang on, Stella, I’ll be right back.’ But before Nathan had even had the chance to leave my side I felt my weary eyelids pulling closed as a fitful sleep once again claimed me.
Fucking stupid cupboards. How the hell could Stella need so many different storage units in one small bathroom? According to her
I
was a clean freak, and even
I
didn’t have this many cabinets. For fuck’s sake, if she lived with me this would all have been so much easier; it had taken me an age to find anything remotely resembling a flannel to help cool her down, and then a further two minutes to get the sodding water cold enough. Returning from the bathroom as fast as I could my eyes went immediately to the bed and I saw that Stella had fallen asleep again. Sighing my relief I rolled my shoulders as I approached her sleeping form. It was a good thing really, as much as I selfishly wanted her awake to reassure me she was alright, thrashing around deliriously wasn’t going to do her any good at all. Using the flannel I’d eventually found I dipped it into the cool water and wiped at her face, only to see sweat beads instantly pop up to replace the ones I’d wiped away.
Frowning, I chewed nervously on the inside of my lower lip as I noticed a strange strangling feeling tightening around my chest, one I’d only ever felt for my brother until Stella had come along – overpowering possessive concern. It was different from the overwhelmingly hot sensation I got in my chest when I looked at her on a day to day basis; that feeling was pleasant. This was almost sickening. I hated seeing Stella sick like this,
hated it.
I knew it was most likely just a flu bug, but it scared the shit out of me to see her so ill. Gritting my teeth I did a countdown to help calm myself and felt a half smile curve my mouth as I thought about her worry in the car earlier – bless her for thinking she was the cause of all my countdowns. She knew me better than anyone, but if Stella thought she was the sole reason for them then she clearly didn’t know the full extent of my fucked-up-ness.
Nothing else mattered to me at this moment; not work, not eating, not the state of my crumpled clothing, nothing. All I could think about was taking care of her, protecting her, and keeping her safe. Blinking, I wondered exactly when I’d gone from considering women as mere playthings to how I felt now – it was a total juxtaposition to my life a little over a year ago. I wasn’t a selfish arsehole anymore, in fact I’d go as far as to say that I’d willingly change positions with Stella and take her suffering myself if it meant that she was alright. I took a second to briefly marvel at how much I’d changed since meeting Stella and shook my head in astonishment. The words I’d said to her in the car were God’s honest truth – she really had brought a shining light into my once dark life.
Stella bought my pondering to a halt as she began thrashing around in bed, gurgling noises coming from her throat and her arms flailing until I was so stressed with worry that I had to gently hold her down so she didn’t injure herself. As I leant over her and she calmed I noticed just how rampant my heartbeat was and I shook my head ruefully – this girl could get me worked up even when she was unconscious, that was for sure.
Just then my phone began to ring on the bedside table and I frowned at the inconvenient timing, grabbing it on a curse and almost slamming it into the side of my head as I answered. ‘What?’ My voice was practically a growl, but with Stella sick and in need of a change of clothes I wasn’t exactly in the mood for small talk.
‘Um … hello? Nathan, is that you? Is Stella there please?’ My frown deepened when I heard a female voice on the line and I yanked the phone away to look at it in confusion. Seeing the pink phone cover I immediately realised that I’d answered Stella’s phone by mistake and then glanced at the screen to see Rebecca’s name flashing.
Wincing slightly at how abrupt I’d been I put the phone back to my ear and no doubt sounded just as sheepish as I felt. ‘Oh … Rebecca, hi. Yes, it’s me. Stella’s sleeping at the moment, she’s come down with something,’ I explained. I didn’t bother to apologise for my earlier rudeness, there was no point; Rebecca knew me well enough by now to know that I was usually pretty blunt with everyone. Everyone except Stella, that was.
‘Oh no! What is it?’ she asked, concern obvious in her voice. I was keen to get off the phone so I could continue with my task of caring for Stella, but Rebecca sounded so genuinely worried that I forced a deep breath into my lungs and tried to lower my aggravation level.
Placing my palm on her damp forehead again I frowned at the heat. ‘Some sort of flu I think, she’s got a bad fever and the last time she was awake it sounded like she had a pretty sore throat too.’ A sudden sharp pain erupted in my mouth and I raised my hand to touch at my lower lip before pulling it away and seeing a smear of blood on the pad of thumb. Fuck. I’d been nervously chewing on it so hard that I’d obviously broken through the skin. Licking the blood away I tried to focus on ending the call so I could do something proactive rather than just standing here staring helplessly at Stella.
‘I need to go, Rebecca, but when Stella’s feeling better I’ll tell her you called,’ I said in my nicest, politest tone hoping it might make her disengage quicker.
‘It’s OK, I was only phoning to tell her about the hotel Nicholas has booked for the wedding. I can catch up with her another time. Do you need anything? Should we come over?’
Sitting back down on the bed I ran my fingertips over Stella’s sleeping face. She was clearly out of it at the moment, but even with her fever and sickness her head lolled sideways into my touch and I felt an affectionate smile tug my lips at the tiny gesture. The only thing I
needed
at the moment was for Stella to get better, but apart from that there was little that Rebecca or Nicholas to do – it was just a case of Stella sweating it out. As stupid as it was, even though I was on the phone I found my head shaking with my reply as I decided now was the time to end the call so I could care for her. ‘No, we’re fine, I’ll look after her. Thank you for the offer though, Rebecca. I’ll keep you updated.’
‘OK, Nathan, you know where we are if you need us. Goodbye.’ As rude as it was, I didn’t even return her goodbye, instead simply hanging up and immediately returning to the job of wiping Stella’s brow. Frowning, I once again noticed the dark sweat patches on her T-shirt and decided I really needed to get her out of her wet clothing.
Pushing my hair from my face I pursed my lips thoughtfully. These last few hours had really brought it home to me just how important this woman was to me, because as impossible as it seemed, I could barely consider the thought of leaving her side for even the briefest of moments. Shaking my head I smiled. My brother would love to see me like this – I’d never hear the end of it. As reluctant as I was to leave her, I eventually dragged myself to the drawers in Stella’s room and dug around until I discovered clean bed sheets and a large T-shirt which would have to do as replacement pyjamas for now.
The job of shifting Stella so I could change the bed turned out to be much trickier than I’d first expected. Stella didn’t have an armchair or sofa in her room that I could temporarily move her to, and there was no fucking way I was laying her on the floor, so I’d had to try and change the sheets with her still in the bed. With much manoeuvring of Stella’s limp, damp body the clean sheets were finally on and I was halfway through peeling Stella’s sodden T-shirt off when I heard the front door to her flat slam shut.
‘Stella? You home? The door was unlocked so I’m guessing you are, sweetie …’ Scowling at the loud noise I realised it was Stella’s housemate Kenny out in the hall making the racket, but luckily his banging hadn’t woken Stella. Ignoring his calls, I concentrated on my task of pulling her arms through the sleeves to release her body from the sweat-soaked garment, and had just succeeded in getting it over her head when the bedroom door suddenly burst open. Acting on pure impulse I spat out a curse and launched myself at the bed to cover Stella’s exposed body, my forearm wrapping around her breasts and my other hand supporting her lolling head. The fact that Kenny was gay was totally irrelevant to me; nobody,
nobody at all
, was seeing my Stella naked.
Flashing a glare at the door I saw Kenny frozen to the spot and wide eyed, ‘Oops, sorry to interrupt …’ he said with a blush fast rising under his goatee and up into his cheeks. Quite apparently he thought he’d disturbed something sexual, but as he began to hurriedly spin away he must have seen Stella’s deathly pale complexion because he paused, frowned, and turned curious eyes on me.
‘Haven’t you heard of fucking knocking?’ I growled as I finally succeeded in dragging the sheet up over Stella’s bare chest and throwing her soaked T-shirt to the floor.
‘Sorry … I didn’t know you’d be here,’ As he began taking a few steps closer I once again felt a warning growl rising in my throat and my fists actually tightened by my sides. I literally had no control over these reactions. Fuck, it really was crazy how bloody protective I felt over this woman. Talk about primal instincts flooding to the surface.
Hearing my warning Kenny stopped dead and flashed me another nervous glance from a safe distance away. Sensible lad. ‘Uh … she looks awful, what’s the matter with her?’
Shrugging helplessly I turned back to Stella and chewed on my sore lower lip before bending to gently brush some stray hairs from her sweaty brow. ‘A bad flu I guess, it just came on suddenly about three hours ago, I’ve called my doctor and he’s on his way.’
‘Do you need any help?’ Kenny asked carefully. His tone was respectful, but he was giving a pointed glance to the clean T-shirt in my hand that I had been about to dress Stella in. Feeling my eyebrows lower and furrow, my jaw tensed at the idea of him seeing her undressed and I found myself adamantly shaking my head. ‘No. I’ll take care of her,’ I muttered in a low tone turning to face him fully and probably sending a death glare his way if his shaky backward step was anything to go by.
Tugging nervously on his goatee Kenny seemed to be considering making a run for it when he suddenly straightened his back and looked me straight in the eye with more courage than I’d ever thought he possessed. ‘I love her just as much as you, Nathan,’ he said quietly and in response my entire body seemed to tense unpleasantly as the image of punching him sprang to my mind, ‘just in a different way,’ he added quickly.
Forcing myself to acknowledge his words I pushed a breath from my lungs in an attempt at calming myself down. I hadn’t even had the balls to sit down and really work out if I was capable of real love yet, let alone vocalise any such emotion to Stella. I was pretty sure I did love her – that must be what these overwhelming feelings of care, protection, affection, and desire inside me meant, but I was actually quite jealous of how Kenny could just stand there and say it like it was the easiest thing on earth. Sucking in a deep breath I glanced at Stella again and felt my heart melt and a smile tug my lips. Being with her
was
the easiest thing on earth. Talk about an enlightening few hours – I felt like I’d been on a voyage of self-discovery and finally emerged into the clarity of daylight. Except it was Stella that was my blinding light.
I let my gaze wander over her again before nodding decisively; once she was better I’d sort myself and my tangled feelings out and then talk to her, but for now it was obvious that I was getting worked up and predatory for no reason. Kenny was right, he was Stella’s best friend and definitely not a threat to my relationship with her in any way, shape, or form.
Ramming my hands into my trouser pockets I dipped my head.
‘Sorry.’ My apology was difficult for me to say, feeling like sawdust in my throat and came out quietly, possibly too quiet for him to hear. ‘I’m just worried about her. Is there any chance you have some soup in the flat for her when she wakes up? She’s sweating so much that she’s bound to be dehydrated.’
Looking pleased to have a job to do Kenny grinned at me and visibly perked up. ‘We haven’t, but I’ve got lots of fresh veggies in the fridge and I’m a whizz in the kitchen, I’ll make a homemade broth, it won’t take too long.’ Springing into action Kenny swung away with purpose and left the room so I could turn my attention back to Stella.
The next few hours felt like torture. I hated seeing Stella sick with me being helpless to do anything, but at least on the positive side her fever seemed to be reducing slightly. She came in and out of consciousness several times, always drowsy and confused, but she did at least manage to eat a little of the soup that Kenny prepared, and occasionally murmured things to me that were sometimes lucid, and sometimes utter nonsense.
At about seven o’clock Kenny knocked on the bedroom door before poking his head around. ‘If you need to leave I can look after her, Nathan.’
Shaking my head firmly I looked between him and Stella. ‘No. I’ll take care of her,’ I stated, my cool tone leaving no room for discussion.
My
girl,
my
responsibility.
‘What about work?’ Kenny questioned cautiously, mirroring my own thoughts. I had no intention of leaving Stella while she was sick, but I did have a couple of important deals happening next week which I needed to contribute to. Unfortunately it was work that I couldn’t do from Stella’s laptop because I needed the programs on my home computer and access to my office network.
I absently stroked my fingers across the palm of Stella’s hand and felt a small smile tug at the corner of my mouth from just how much I cared for this woman. Loved. How much I
loved
this woman. There – I’d finally admitted it, if only in my head. Turning to Kenny I saw he’d watched my affectionate moment and was smiling goofily at me as if I were starring in some crappy rom-com. Glaring at him he soon wiped the smile from his face and disappeared after telling me he would be in his room if I needed him.
Turning back to Stella I sighed as I considered my options. ‘This would be so much easier if we lived together,’ I said out loud, my voice causing her to shift and blink a few times still half asleep. ‘Move in with me, baby,’ I murmured softly, the thoughts from my head just spilling out before I could stop them.
Thrashing her arms slightly, her eyelids fluttered briefly. ‘Nope,’ she murmured thickly, and I rolled my eyes. She was still bloody stubborn even when delirious, ill, and half asleep. Watching every tiny movement of her face in fascination I immediately noticed when a crease appeared between her eyebrows as a small frown took shape. ‘Other women,’ she mumbled on an expelled breath.