Enlightened (8 page)
Shifting myself closer to her I frowned. Other women? What on earth did she mean? Our conversation about my previous subs came back to me and my frown became a full-on grimace. She must be referring to her dislike of my apartment and the fact that she associated it with them – my ‘other women’. I sighed heavily. At least I hoped that’s what she meant, I certainly wasn’t seeing any other women and I had absolutely no intention of it either. Stella was it for me. Surely she knew that? Didn’t she? ‘There are no other women, Stella,’ I softly reassured her, stroking her clammy face again. ‘Only you, baby. Just you.’ Not even sure if she was conscious at the moment or not, I left it at that and dropped a kiss onto her brow.
When my phone rang a few minutes later – and it definitely was
my
phone this time – I was still distracted by my concerns about Stella’s health and her possible misunderstanding of my commitment to her, but when I saw my brother’s name I tried to push my worries away for now and took the call.
‘Nicholas, hi.’ Good, my voice sounded normal and gave away no clue that I’d just spent the majority of the last four hours fretting and acting like a pathetic baby all because Stella was ill with the flu.
‘Hello, brother. Rebecca mentioned that Stella was unwell. How is she now?’
Looking at her sleeping peacefully I felt a little happier than I had a few hours ago and found myself nodding even though he wouldn’t be able to see it. ‘A little better, I think. She’s more peaceful now, but still has a fever.’
‘There’s a horrible flu bug going around, it sounds like she might have that.’ There was a pause on the end of the line, but somehow I just knew he had something else to say to me. ‘Rebecca also mentioned that you sounded a little … tense. Everything OK now?’
Keeping the phone to my ear I tipped my head back and felt my nostrils flare as I drew in a long, deep breath to maintain my composure. I knew Nicholas was just checking up on me because he cared, but in my aggravated state it just riled me and made me think he lacked confidence in my ability to control my anger. I grimaced as I begrudgingly realised that I often did. My free hand came up and scrubbed across my face to try and rub away the tension of the last few hours before raking it through my hair and finally coming to rest on my neck as I continued to stare at the ceiling. ‘I’m fine.’ Regardless of my previous deep breathing I still sounded terse, so with a huge amount of effort I performed a silent countdown and forced myself to relax.
‘My apologies, Nicholas. Seeing Stella so sick has been quite trying. I’m sure she’ll be better soon though, plus the doctor is coming soon.’ ‘Quite trying’ – talk about an understatement. The last few hours had been hideous. Not to mention a complete eye-opener with regards to acknowledging the depth and gravity of my feelings for Stella. Shaking my head I sat on the edge of the bed. I loved my brother, but I wasn’t going to have
that
conversation with him. Clearing my throat to ease my discomfort I changed the subject, ‘I heard from Rebecca that you have the wedding venue confirmed. Congratulations.’
I heard a soft chuckle down the line, ‘Thanks, brother. Yes, we’ve just arrived home now. Rebecca loved the hotel so it all worked out really well. We’ll have to meet up soon and I’ll tell you all about it.’
‘Sounds good,’ I agreed, not entirely happy with the idea of getting too soppy discussing wedding venues.
‘Actually, thinking about it, Rebecca is going to be away for a conference soon, maybe you and I could get together then? I’ll just need to confirm the dates with her,’ Nicholas suggested.
‘Sounds good, we could meet for a meal or drinks. Perhaps that Italian place you love so much?’ I suggested, thinking that being out and about would limit the possibilities for too much wedding talk.
‘Perfect, I’ll drop you a text with a date. Well, I’ll let you get back to Stella. Call me if you need anything, Nathan.’ With that my brother hung up, leaving me to fuss over Stella some more. After checking her temperature again and finding that it was still too high I called my personal doctor again and arranged – demanded – for him to bring forwards her appointment and meet me at my apartment in an hour. Then I placed a call to my driver before finally packing some of Stella’s clothes into a case. Stella might not want to move in with me, but this situation left me little choice. If I moved her temporarily to my apartment I could continue to care for her
and
access my computer to do the work I needed, thus solving both my issues in one go.
As I anticipated, Kenny wasn’t too keen on my plan, but after I gave him Stella’s key to my apartment and told him he could come over at any point to check on her he gave in and offered to shift her case for me. With Kenny’s assistance, I bundled Stella into a blanket, scooped her limp body up into my arms, and carried her down to the car where Ryan was waiting for us.
I was mid-way through trying to untangle Stella’s arms from around my neck so I could fasten her in when her little hands clutched at my neck and she murmured against my cheek, ‘Nathan … don’t let me go.’ My heart constricted at just how much her words meant to me. I was never letting her go, and I dropped a long, possessive kiss on the top of her head as I climbed into the car and settled Stella in my lap. ‘Never,’ I murmured. If Stella wanted me to hold her, then fuck it, I would – seatbelt rules would have to be broken this time.
Hmm
… I was so comfortable. My bed was cosy and warm and just utterly lovely. Rolling over I sunk deeper into the mattress before it occurred to me just how very deep and squishy the bed was. Too squishy. My bed had a firm mattress, but this was positively sumptuous. Stretching out, my feet hit against something firm and cool, causing me to frown as I reluctantly began to peel my eyes open.
Books, shelves, and some very fancy framed certificates filled my bleary view. OK, so from that view I knew this definitely wasn’t my bedroom, and from the confusing images before me it wasn’t Nathan’s bed either – although the covers did seem to hold a hint of his lovely aftershave scent. Where the heck was I? Feeling distinctly unnerved I shoved the thick duvet away and began to push myself upright. Coming to my senses properly I realised that I could hear voices behind me and I swivelled round to see Nathan sat at his desk with a bank of monitors in front of him. I was in his office? Utterly confused I blinked several times as I gazed around and realised I was swaddled up in amongst a mountain of duvets and pillows on the sofa in Nathan’s home office. What the heck? Why was I in a makeshift bed at Nathan’s place?
Just then several voices came from the screens on his desk, drawing my eyes back to him as I realised that Nathan must be on some sort of video conference call. Thank goodness the monitors were facing away from me, imagine the sight the businessmen would get otherwise – me popping up behind him tucked into bed! Regardless of the call he was on, I saw Nathan catch sight of my movement and turn his eyes to me. A small smile curved his lips and his eyes darkened and glimmered a silent ‘hello’ at me as our gazes met, sending a thrill rushing through my newly awakened body.
‘Gentlemen, just give me one moment please,’ Nathan murmured to the screens, his eyes still on mine, before he pressed a couple of keys on his computer and stood up. Walking directly to me Nathan crouched down beside me and smiled so sweetly that my heart squeezed tight in my chest. ‘Hey, sweetheart,’ he murmured as he leant forwards and placed a kiss on my forehead. ‘God, it’s good to see you awake and looking better.’
His lips felt cool against my heated skin, but so good, and unconsciously I found myself leaning into his touch, which brought a chuckle from Nathan’s lips and caused him to pull me into a warm embrace. ‘Why am I in your office?’ I asked, as I snuggled closer to his firm chest and Nathan’s lovely unique scent that I so adored.
‘You’ve been ill.’ Smoothing some hair from my face with gentle fingers he leaned back to gaze down at me with his crystal blues. ‘Let me just wrap up this call and you can have my undivided attention.’ Placing another kiss on my head Nathan stood up and towered over me. He didn’t move away immediately, instead choosing to stand there with his legs spread and hand in his pockets as he simply stared down at me for a second or two, before finally blinking and retaking his place at the desk. Clicking a few buttons I saw the screens flash to life as Nathan got back to work. Sitting up, I rubbed my hands over my face, ran my fingers through my tangled hair to smooth it, and then sifted through my mind trying to recollect any memories of being ill. As my sleep fogged brain began to clear I recalled the car ride home from London with Nathan and then waking up in my flat feeling hot, achy, and very tired, but apart from that not else much came to me apart from glimpses of memories about soup and strange conversations which for all I knew might well have been dreams.
In the few minutes it took Nathan to finish his call I took the opportunity to discreetly watch him in action. I’d never really seen him conducting his business, certainly not for this length of time anyway. It was fascinating to see his work demeanour fall into place as he fluidly took control of the meeting; finalising some key issues, delegating a number of tasks, and then smoothly drawing it to a conclusion. He really was the ultimate professional. As he closed off all the monitors and turned his heated stare onto me I shuddered as unexpected lust rushed through my body and I swiftly revised my thought – forget ultimate professional, he was the ultimate temptation. With the way my body was suddenly thrumming it was clear that illness or not, his commanding business demeanour was a huge turn-on for me. Mind you, seeing as I loved him when he was in full domination mode it was hardly surprising that seeing him commanding other people turned me on too. When Nathan pierced me with a look as loaded as the one currently aimed at me I could barely maintain normal breathing, let alone any other human functions, and I hastily licked my dry lips in anticipation.
With my eyes glued to his, Nathan stood and used a finger to loosen the navy silk tie around his neck, then popped open the top button of his shirt and began to walk towards me, his intent becoming clearer with every stalked step he took. Unfortunately my treacherous stomach had other ideas and let out a loud growl that caused Nathan to stop mid-step and shake his head as if trying to clear a fog from his brain.
‘Christ, what am I thinking?’ he muttered with a sardonic grin. ‘I was fully intent on ravishing you just minutes after you’ve woken up from a serious illness.’ Clicking his tongue he made the final two steps to me. ‘What you really need is food and a shower.’
With no warning Nathan bent and scooped me up into his arms and then kicking the duvet aside he made his way towards the kitchen. I still felt a bit dodgy, but with him in close quarters like this I couldn’t help but push my luck. ‘And then ravishing?’ I asked hopefully, as I looped my arms around his neck and held on for the journey. There was no point telling him I was capable of walking, I’d long since learnt that when Nathan had set his mind to something nothing would sway him off course.
Chuckling, Nathan grinned down at me. ‘We’ll see how you’re feeling, but yes, if you really are as well recovered as you look then there will definitely be some ravishing going on later. It’s been a while and I’m only human, after all.’ My eyebrows rose at his comment; he might only be human, but he had enough sex drive for five men.
Pausing by the kitchen Nathan looked down at me thoughtfully. ‘Food first or shower?’ Eyeing the fruit bowl my stomach growled again and I grinned at him as one of my hands rubbed across the beautifully taut muscles of his chest.
‘Banana, shower, and then proper food,’ I said, removing my hand from his chest and holding it out in the direction of the three ripe bananas on the kitchen surface.
‘Deal,’ Nathan agreed, walking me closer so I could pluck one off. Carrying me to his master bathroom he gently placed me on the sink unit and whilst he set about turning on the shower and setting the temperature I promptly ate my fruit, glad to feel some nourishment hit my empty stomach.
Turning to me and eyeing the empty banana skin in my hand Nathan raised a blond eyebrow. ‘That was quick, did you inhale it?’ he joked dryly. Grinning he walked to me and deposited the banana skin in the bin for me. ‘Do you want me to get you another?’
Shaking my head I smiled, happy to be feeling so well again. ‘I’m fine, one was enough to hold my hunger at bay.’
Any remnants of hunger I might have been feeling were well and truly forgotten as Nathan peeled off his shirt to reveal his beautifully toned chest and its sprinkling of blond hair. Sighing happily it soon became apparent that Nathan was intent on joining me in the shower as he also undid his belt and zip and let his trousers fall to his ankles. Crikey, now
that
was a sight for sore eyes. Not that I was complaining in the slightest. ‘I still feel pretty exhausted, but I have to say my memories are blurry. I remember bits and pieces, but nothing solid since we were out together in your company car. How long was I sick?’ I asked, curious as to how much of my life I’d lost to the shadowy mess in my brain.
Jerking his chin Nathan indicated for me to raise my arms, which I did without question, allowing him to peel off my T-shirt and leave me sat there in just a pair of black cotton knickers. ‘Two days, but you’ll probably take a few more days to fully recover,’ he murmured, a frown creasing his brow as his eyes flicked to mine, full of concern. ‘You were in and out of sleep the whole time.’ Running a hand through his hair he let out a sharp breath, ‘Fuck. It was horrible, Stella, your fever was so high, I felt so fucking helpless.’ he whispered, his uncharacteristic anxiety obvious.
‘Hey, I’m OK now,’ I assured him, reaching out and touching Nathan’s shoulder to bring him back to the present. ‘Actually, considering you’ve just told me that I’ve been out of it for more than twenty-four hours I have to say I feel pretty great.’ OK so that was perhaps a bit of an exaggeration, I was still achy and tired, but at least I was properly awake and thinking clearer. Reacting to my touch Nathan took my hand in his and kissed the knuckles one by one, making me grin like a lovesick teenager. ‘Thank you for looking after me,’ I told him.
Apparently not comfortable with my praise Nathan merely shrugged, and grunting a reply he stepped out of his boxers to reveal his gloriously naked body in all its entirety. Swallowing hard and loud I felt my stomach tighten and my pulse accelerate as the final parts of him were revealed. I might have been struggling with a few side-effects of my illness, but the sight of Nathan’s naked body ignited something inside of me and I suddenly knew that this shower wouldn’t just involve a quick wash. ‘I could do with brushing my teeth,’ I mumbled, horrified by the thought of my stale ‘illness breath’. As if reading my mind Nathan loaded a toothbrush with paste and handed it to me with a faint nod of his head as a smile finally returned to his lips.
As predicted the shower lasted longer than it should have done. Nathan insisted on pampering me completely, washing every inch of my body with care, cleaning under my fingernails, and gently shampooing my limp hair. Once I was clean his washing gradually turned into massaging, which then turned to a lazy lovemaking session. I was sleepy again and uncoordinated from my flu, but as usual Nathan was more than happy to take the lead and gently pushed me against the tiled wall of the cubicle, supporting my weight and gallantly exerting far more energy than me as he reacquainted our bodies.
Once we were finally clean and dry I opened the wardrobe where I kept a few spare items of clothing, hoping to find a snuggly jumper that I could pull on to curl up on the sofa in, or something suitable of Nathan’s that I could borrow. Before I even got as far as looking for a jumper I came to a halt. Holding the handle to the cupboard I blinked several times and frowned. The cupboard was full, its rail literally crammed with hangers containing
my
clothes. There wasn’t a trace of Nathan’s stuff in here, it was all mine. Turning silently I found Nathan watching me cautiously, his jaw sawing back and forth as he frantically chewed on the inside of his lower lip. ‘You moved me in
again
?’ I asked, gob-smacked and unable to believe that Nathan had tried to do this two frigging times now.
Finally giving his lip a rest Nathan shrugged guiltily, his expression remarkably similar to a disgruntled child. ‘You were sick and I needed to work so I brought you here. I didn’t know how long you’d be ill for so I packed up a few of your things.’
My eyebrows shot up and I swung back to look at the rail. ‘A
few
of my things?’ I spun back to look at him. ‘Nathan, this is practically every item of clothing that I own!’
Apparently tiring of my completely valid argument Nathan pulled on his T-shirt with a grunt and circled the bed so that he was stood just two feet away from me. From the look on Nathan’s face you would have thought it was
me
that had done something wrong, and I was once again reminded of just how domineering he could be.
‘Move in with me, Stella,’ he demanded suddenly, his tone low and gritty and causing me to swallow hard. Now it was my turn to bite my lip. Here we go again. I was way too tired and achy to be discussing this now. I’d already told him of my objections, what else could I say? I was starting to feel like a broken record and becoming more and more uncomfortable saying no all the time in case he took it as a rejection of him, and not his apartment.
‘You know how I feel about you, Nathan, but like I said the other day, I’m just not ready to live here,’ I said, my irrational hatred of the idea of living here in the apartment he had shared with his previous women pushing to the surface again and making my stomach twist. Ugh, every time I allowed myself to consider it I felt positively sick.
‘If we moved somewhere new would you move in then? Or just find another reason not to?’ he enquired sharply, not sounding like he believed me for a minute. Interesting, my ears had certainly perked up at that, it sounded like he was genuinely considering moving, which thrilled me no end, but seeing my shocked expression at his tone Nathan seemed to force his face to soften. ‘If it’s just the location bothering you then that’s fine …’ he paused, taking another cautious step closer, ‘… but when you were sick you said something about
“other women”
.’ His voice had lowered and he reached over to tip my chin upwards with his thumb so I was forced to meet his steely gaze.
God, what else had I reeled off in my sleep? My childhood love of pickled onions? How much I loved his sexy, wide-legged stance perhaps? I hated that I sometimes spoke in my sleep. How embarrassing. Not noticing my awkwardness Nathan tilted his head and studied me intently. ‘You do know you’re the only one for me, Stella, don’t you?’ Perhaps sensing my ever growing reliance on him, or just needing the contact himself, Nathan closed the last space between us and enveloped me in his huge, strong arms. ‘There are no other women, not now, not ever again. Just you.’ His words were so lovely that I very nearly cried, especially seeing as they were coming from Nathan, Mr Non-Emotional himself. Instead of crying I somehow managed to swallow down my tears and lean up to place a kiss on his warm lips. ‘I love you,’ I murmured, hoping it would be enough for now.
He made a contented humming noise in the back of his throat as he returned my chaste kiss, but his lips soon parted and he briefly deepened our kiss, running his tongue along my lower lip and darting it in to flick across my eager tongue. ‘But you still won’t move in with me here, will you?’ he said, apparently intent on trying his luck one last time.