Authors: Dani Morales
My alarm clock is going off. As I sit
up, the calm is still with me. I brought
along the peace of floating amongst the
clouds and stars back with me. This is the
best I have felt in a long time. I know
something is going to happen soon. I can
feel it. I get up to take a shower and get
ready for work. I’ll probably be running a
bunch of errands for Gran today.
I grab my royal blue shirt, which is
starting to feel a little tight. I’ve always
kept my body in shape, but the craziest
thing happened after I woke up from my
nap. It’s like my body started going
through a rapid growth spurt or
something. My abs got really defined, and
my arms bulked up. I put on my favorite
faded blue jeans, and then get some hair
wax to run through my black hair to give
it that messy look. I stare at myself in the
mirror, trying to find the boy from 5
years ago. Only his hazel eyes stare back
at me. They’re a deep green today, a
blue-grey outlining the green; they show
everything about me. My eyes are the only
things I can’t mask, but luckily enough I
don’t have anyone around anymore who
can read me.
I get in my car, which is Mom's old
car; I fixed it up a little. It’s a silver
Mustang. It’s still in perfect condition. All I
really did to it was take out the girly
stuff. Then I added some rims and a really
good sound system. The base is loud
enough that Gran can hear me from a
block away. This care is the only thing I
have left of Mom, so I take care of it the
best I can. I’m listening to an awesome
local band. Their song “Closer to you” is
playing, and I can’t help thinking that it’s
important to pay attention to the lyrics.
Something about this song feels like a
warning. Maybe I’m going crazy. I’ll ask
Gran when I get there.
I walk inside and see a few
customers here already. I check to make
sure there is plenty of fresh coffee and tea.
Then, I start walking around, grabbing
books that are in the wrong locations and
putting them back where they belong. I
make it to the back where the “new age”
books and stuff used for the craft are to
find Gran.
I peak my head through the door to
make sure she’s alone. “Hey Gran. I have a
question for you.”
“Well spill it my boy. I don’t feel like
digging around in that messy head of
yours.”
I chuckle, “On the way up here, I
heard this song, and for some reason, I
felt like I needed to pay attention to the
lyrics. I just wanted to know if you know
why.”
“Well you should listen to them
Logan. You are going to meet someone
very soon. That’s what I was talking about
yesterday when I came in with my
"megawatt smile" as you put it. I knew
that the course you’re on would be
changing soon. Now you do too, and I’ll
tell you that it’s going to revolve around a
girl. You will know she is the one you have
been searching for because of those lyrics.”
“Gran, you're crazy. I haven’t been
searching for anyone.”
“Maybe not consciously, but your
soul and heart have always been
searching.”
“Okay. So the girl I’m supposed to
end up with is going to have something to
do with that song?”
“Logan, what part of the song do
you remember?”
I think about it, and there’s only one
verse that keep popping into my mind
and repeating itself like a silly mantra.
“'Do you see my face, sad behind a
smile, fake it for a while.' That’s the part
of the song I remember. Why do you ask?”
“Simple really. She will be just that.
Also, that song will have meaning to her
as well.”
“Okay, enough crazy talk. What are
my errands today?”
I look back at Gran. She is totally
ignoring me and trying to see around me
into the rest of the shop, so I start to walk
away.
“Go down to the post office to pick
up our mail. Then head to Wal-Mart, get
some more stuff for the coffee and tea
area, and come back.”
Something is off about her voice,
and she looks like she’s expecting someone.
I ignore the look because I don't know why
she would be waiting for someone. I’m so
focused on the lyrics in my head that I
don't even pay attention to where I'm
going.
“I believe that our background and
circumstances may have influenced who we’re, but
we’re responsible for who we become.”
It’s a new year, a new life, a new beginning for
all of us, and a new place to live. We drove the 880
miles from Lubbock, Texas to Las Vegas, Nevada.
The boys absolutely love it here. I was so worried that
they would hate it and be mad that I took them away
from their parents. That's not the case; it’s the
complete opposite. They’ve grown rather attached to
my Mom and started calling her Grandma, like that’s
who she has been their entire lives. I guess, in their
mind, she might have been. She came down to Texas
to visit us when she could, so it just made sense to call
her that.
I got them enrolled in school right away. They
needed a structured routine, and I didn’t want screw
up all that I had started working on back in Texas
before everything became official. I wasn’t working
yet; I didn’t really need to. My mom wanted us to stay
with her so we could get situated. The boys' school
schedule was all over the place, so working wasn’t
really an option at first. So while the boys were in
school, I picked up an old hobby. Reading. There is
nothing like reading and getting lost in another world
for the moment; it’s like it was created specifically for
you. I also started writing more. Not in the sense of
poems like usual, but I started blogging and posting
reviews of the books I’ve been reading.
I’ve become obsessive in a way. If I wasn’t
with the kids or doing something around the house, I
was reading and reviewing. My mom told me I should
get a job in a bookstore. Perfect idea! Now I just need
to find a bookstore who needs help and would let me
work a weird, random schedule. With that, the hunt
began.
I start looking for a privately owned
bookstore. As I'm driving around, I stumble upon this
forgotten section of businesses. It's like something is
drawing me to the area, like a magnetic force
propelling me forward. I feel like I should be scared,
but I'm not. Its the strangest thing; I feel like I'm
supposed to be here. I look around trying to get an
idea of what’s around me. You can never be too
careful, even in broad daylight. There are a lot of
vacancies, a bookstore, a spa, a local pub, and a selfdefense studio making up the massive St. Rose Square
shopping area.
I walk to the bookstore after talking myself out
of going to get my nails done. The doors to the book
store are reflective. I can't see in, but I’m certain
someone on the inside could see out. The front door
has writing on it:
Wrote & Bound
Where fantasy becomes a reality.
A selection of books to enjoy while relaxing
I immediately feel as if this is the bookstore
I’ve been searching for. I push the door open at the
same time someone on the inside is pulling it open. It
causes me to stumble, ungracefully I might add, into
the chest of a remarkably fit guy. Immediately I feel
my face flush scarlet and try to step back. His strong
hands are flexing on my waist to steady me. I realize
that I'm shaking.
When my wits start to focus, I inhale a
nd I’m
assaulted by the most sensual masculine scent I have
ever smelt. It’s like the smell of rain mixed with
laundry soap and desire. Okay. MaybeI’m just
smelling my own desire. I’ve never been so insanely
attracted to someone without even seeing his face.
That’s when I notice my hands have embedded
themselves into his royal blue shirt. I let go and take a
step back. His hands drop to his sides and ball into
fists. He’s wearing some faded blue jeans that are just
a little baggy and look perfect on him. His shirt is
form fitting, and if I hadn't already felt up his chest
and stomach, I would have noticed his abs through his
shirt. My gaze finally lands on his face, and all
thoughts immediately vacate the area.
He has beautiful hazel eyes that could rival my
own. They hold humor in their depths. His lips are
absolutely perfect. I just want to kiss them to see if
they were as soft as they look and run my fingers
through his untamed black hair. His face looks like it
has been sculpted from marble, very tan marble. His
smile break whatever spell I was under, and I feel
completely embarrassed. I was caught checking him
out.
I don’t do that. What the hell is wrong with me?
Speak April. You look so stupid right now.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, umm, fall into
you and, uh, mess up your shirt.”
The smile gets bigger, and his eyes shine like
there’s light behind them. Electricity shoots through
my body. Every molecule inside me is aware of his
proximity and wants to touch and caress him.
“No, I’m sorry. I was so busy talking to Gran
that I got distracted, and I wasn’t paying attention to
see if someone was outside.”
His voice is a deep, seductive sound that oozes
charm and confidence. This is retarded. I’m having
some intense feelings for this guy that I don’t know
and probably don’t have a chance in hell with.
“No harm done. Thanks for, umm, catching
me?”
Why did I just phrase that as a question? I
need to get away from this guy; he’s making thinking
extremely difficult. I try to step around him into the
store and stop dead in my tracks. This store is
perfection. I guess pausing makes him think I'm
waiting for him to say something else.
“No problem at all.”
I don't want to turn around and face him again,
but his tone held a playfulness that I wasn’t sure I
could ignore. I can't throw myself at this guy; I don't
even know him. Get it together April! I let out the
breath I was holding and turn to look over my
shoulder to offer him a smile, but he is already
walking away. I don’t know if I’m more disappointed
that he just walked away like I was hoping he would
or that I didn’t really want him to go.
I turn back to focus on the bookstore and am
pulled back into the amazing sensation that brought
me here in the first place. There is a little coffee and
tea nook on the left side; it has a few tables with
chairs, a couple of oversized love seats with coffee
tables in front, and a wide selection of muffins. I’m
so in love with this place already. It’s so open and
much bigger than I thought it would be when I first
walked up to the door. I believe that the feeling of the
place is the most important thing.
I pass the nook to make my way along the
outside wall, so I can see all around me. The owner
has set this place up perfectly. As I get closer to the
back, I notice the area is smaller than what it should
be, like the wall is hiding another area. I cross over to
check out the other side of the store, but my attention
keeps straying back to that area.
I wonder what’s back
there.
Have you ever taken the time to smell a book?
I know I sound insane, but there’s just something
about the way an old book smells that makes me feel
happy. It’s like you can smell the history of the book.
I love it! It’s one of those things that make me a major
nerd, but I’m okay with that.
“You’re not a nerd.”
I turn to look behind me, and I see this
adorable old lady with a smile that's as bright as the
sun. She’s missing a few teeth, and her face is lined
with wrinkles, but somehow those things don't take
away from the warmth you feel looking at her. You
can tell that every wrinkle is from laughing and living
a wonderful life. Her eyes are electric blue. They
show the wisdom she has gathered during her many
years. She’s no taller than me, maybe about 5 foot 2
inches. She’s wearing this dress that reminds me of
Texas summers, sitting out in the backyard soaking up
the sun.
“I’m sorry. Did I say that out loud?” I don’t
remember words actually coming out of my mouth. I
know the thought ran across my mind, but I know I
didn’t speak. How did she know what I was thinking?
“Come now child, you and I both know you
didn’t speak that; you thought it.”
She has this strange look on her face. I’m
starting to wonder if I’ve completely lost my mind.
Maybe the guy at the door rendered me brain-dead.
That guy was really cute; I wonder what his name is.
Wait. Why do I care? Why am I having an internal
conversation with myself? That’s it. I’ve really lost it.
I hear this musical laughter and look up at the old
lady. She has an amused look on her face, and her
eyes are glowing. I feel the heat creep up my face.
What is it with this place?
“Follow me. You have many questions that I
cannot answer out here in the open.”
“How do you-”
She cuts me off, “Child please just follow me,
and I’ll answer all your questions.”
I find myself following her and laughing
internally. I’ve never been cut off by anyone, let alone
an old lady. We walk to the back of the store, and I
feel that same pull I felt before intensify. That
electrical current I felt when that guy touched me is
coursing through my veins to every inch of my body.
I’ve never felt more alive than I do at this moment. I
can see, hear, and feel everything around me. It’s like
nothing I’ve ever experienced before. This feeling is
somethingI’ll never forget.
“Ah, I was right. I knew I could feel you as
soon as you walked up to the front door.” She says
nodding her head.
“What do you mean you felt me as I walked
up to the door?”
“Just that child. Your energy surrounds you;
it’s the thing you’re referring to as ‘electricity’. It
moves with you, around you, and inside you. When
you come in contact with someone or something or
even a place that your energy recognizes, you feel that
humming sensation.”
“What is this place?”
“Out front is my bookstore. My name is
Agatha, but you may call me Gran. We’re going to be
very close, you and I. That young man that keeps
crossing you mined is Logan. He lives with me and is
the grandson I always wanted.”
Logan. So that’s his name. A part of me is
screaming that this lady is crazy, and I need to run.
The other part of me knows exactly what she is
talking about. My mom grew up In a Catholic family,
and I was baptized Catholic, but we’ve always
practiced as Wiccans. It’s not something I tell to
people usually because there are so many
misconceptions about being Wiccan. It's easier to not
say anything at all.
“Okay. So this back portion of the store is
dedicated to the craft, right? You don’t do black
magic, do you?”
If she tells me that she practices black magic,
I’m leaving. As much as I love this place, I’ll not get
involved in black magic. I know before she answers
that she doesn’t; that’s not the type of energy I feel in
here. It’s a valid question and one that needs to be
asked though, just to make sure.
“No. I know you just need to hear me say that,
so I’ll. I do not and have no intentions in doing black
magic. Ever. Now whether or not some people come
in here with that in mind, which is their own problem.
We cannot try to persuade them otherwise. It’s a
choice they have to make on their own.”
“Wait. What do you mean 'we'?”
“Sit down. There are many things we need to
discuss.”
She starts gathering things and placing them
on the table in front of whereI’m still standing.
Should I sit down to hear her out or leave? I take the
seat and look atthe things she’s placing on the table. I
recognize the tarot cards and a few candles, but that’s
it.
“Okay child. First, do you know the power
that you have inside you? The only other person I’ve
met with the same potential is Logan.”
“I’ve been told before that I come from a
powerful family on my mother’s side. I’ve always
been able to sense and speak to spirits, but I stay away
from everything else.”
“Why’s that, child?”
“Well nothing comes without a price, so to
avoid it all. I have never done anything else other than
cleanse places.”
“That’s good. You’re pure, not corrupted.”
“Okay. As interesting as this is, I don’t think I
should get involved.”
“I’m only going to tell you a few more things,
nothing relating to magic or the cards, but about your
lifeand Logan's. He’s had a difficult upbringing. If
you are going to be working here, you should know
that he will come off as confident, maybe even
flirtatious, but it’s just an image he portrays to protect
himself. It’s like the shield you’ve created over your
heart so no one can break it like the last boy did. You
two walk around with the attitude that you are
perfectly fine being alone so you so you can avoid
your fear of rejection. You are not fine being alone
though. The issue you have with your weight is not a
problem. You just have to love yourself before
someone can love you. You are also worried that no
guy will ever love you enough to take on the extra
baggage of raising your boys. You need to know that
anyone worth your time would love to have those
precious boys be part of his life as well.”
I’m completely speechless. What do you say
to that? I’m pretty sure I got hired without having to
do anything other than walk through the door, well,
that and stumble into Logan that is. Just thinking
about him sets my body burning. An ache I never
knew I had is making its presence known.
“Okay. So I need to learn to love myself and
be open to the possibility of someone being able to
love me and my boys? Got it. And Logan is more than
what he seems. Okay. Now all I need to know is when
you would like me to start.”
She laughs and it sounds like music.
“Tomorrow after your drop the kids off at school. We
can go over the times you can work and get you a set
of keys made then.”
“Sounds like a perfect plan! Thank you so
much Gran. I absolutely love this store already!”
With that, I walk out the door feeling lighter
than air. I’m so excited that I’ll be getting to work in
the bookstore. Agatha is the teacher that I knew would
find me when the universe thought I was ready.