Esrever Doom (Xanth) (13 page)

“I believe we have just seen your talent in action,” Kody said. “You did exactly the right thing, with no preparation.”

She nodded. “I suppose I did. I couldn’t have done it if I had thought about it.”

“Here come the zombies,” Zosi said.

“Um, yes,” Kody agreed, a bit nervous despite Zosi’s reassurance. He saw Zap and Yukay fidgeting the same way he was. None of them were eager to embrace a zombie, or even to shake hands.

Zosi went out to meet them. “Hello, Zam!” she said, hugging the male zombie who had first identified the chains for Kody. He was a cavernously gaunt figure with tattered clothing and sickly recessed eyeballs. “I am on the Quest! These are my Companions.” She glanced back. “They are normals. You know what that means.”

“Kheep our dishtance,” Zam agreed. “But thanx for the helph.” He had only two front teeth, complicating his speech.

“You’re welcome,” Yukay said primly.

Zosi moved on to the next. “Zuzan!” She hugged a female zombie whose straggling hair seemed to be falling out in spoiled hanks. Then the others. “Zeth! Zylvia! Zimon! Zamantha!” That was the lot. There were only six zombies, where the gravesites indicated there had been hundreds. They plainly needed reinforcements.

“I think zombies gradually wear out,” Yukay murmured. “They are forever shedding parts of themselves, and finally there’s not enough of them left to function.”

Kody had already concluded as much. “How did zombies get started?” he asked.

“There used to be the Zombie Master, at Castle Zombie. He made zombies by reviving dead people. But he retired twelve years ago, and since then no new zombies have been made. Now the castle is run by Breanna of the Black Wave and Justin Tree—he was a tree for decades—and they are very good, but they can’t make new zombies. All they can do is assign the existing ones. So it seems it is a problem.”

“A problem,” Kody agreed. “I hope Zosi is able to come through for them.”

“She’s a nice girl. Maybe it will work out.” But Yukay did not seem confident.

Soon Zosi returned. “I told them we would do our best,” she said. “Now they can return to their graves and rest until the next threat comes. I hope we can solve the problem before then.”

“We all hope so,” Kody said.

They watched as the zombies returned to their scattered graves and sank into the soil. Then all was quiet.

The three princesses reappeared. “Well done,” Melody said.

“We left it to you so Yukay could exercise her talent,” Harmony added.

“Now we will entertain you for the night at Castle Roogna,” Rhythm concluded. “Zap too.”

“We’ll show you the Magic Tapestry,” Melody said.

“And all the other sights,” Harmony continued.

“And introduce you to the Moat Monster,” Rhythm concluded.

“That really isn’t necessary,” Yukay demurred.

“Because we’re in charge while the elders are off setting up the Contest, and it’s boring here,” Melody said, starting another round of dialogue.

“But we have Quests to accomplish,” Kody said, not liking the idea of delaying when time was surely short.

Princess Harmony produced a little harmonica and played a single note. “What did you say?” she asked.

“I said we’ll be glad to be entertained,” Kody said, surprising himself. He realized belatedly that the princesses had used magic on him. Also, that they tended to alternate talking, the three taking turns.

“That’s what we thought you said,” Princess Rhythm said.

“Never try to say no to a princess,” Yukay murmured. “They don’t understand the word.”

So it seemed. He had inadvertently interrupted their round of dialogue, and they had promptly dealt with him. They looked like innocent girls, but he was aware that looks could be highly deceptive. They probably had histories that would make him wince.

“What contest is this?” Yukay inquired.

“We’re not supposed to tell you,” Melody said.

“Which is weird, because it has nothing to do with you,” Harmony continued.

“So we’re home alone, and want to know all about you,” Rhythm concluded.

Kody saw the way of it. “We’ll be happy to oblige.”

“We were sure you would be,” the three said together, laughing.

6

I
LLUSION
F
IELDS

In the morning, thoroughly entertained, they set out again for zeroing in. Kody explained briefly how it worked. “I am immune to the Curse of Reversal. Zosi isn’t. So we will go places, and rate our perceptions of other folk, and try to travel in the direction of the most extreme. That will be where the Bomb is.”

“What about the zombies?” Yukay asked alertly.

“The Good Magician says I will find my answer in the course of helping him find his,” Zosi said.

“And Zap and I hope to find ours in the same manner,” Yukay said.

“It seems far-fetched, but that’s the essence,” Kody said. “Maybe you’d be better off going to the Good Magician after all.”

She eyed him with that slightly disturbing appraisal. “And maybe not.”

“Squawk,” Zap agreed.

Kody wasn’t sure what was on her mind, so he dismissed it from
his
mind. “We can check now, as this is a different place from where we last checked. Zosi, on our scale of one to ten, where do you see me now?”

“You’re about as homely as before,” Zosi said. “Maybe a two.”

“What about me?” Yukay asked.

“Down near zero.”

“Not surprising,” Kody said quickly. “You are a very attractive woman.”

“While I see you as a two, and Zosi as a four.”

“I’m not as pretty as he is handsome,” Zosi agreed a trifle wistfully.

“How about you?” Yukay asked Zap.

ZERO TWO FOUR

Kody laughed. “Same readout. At least we agree.”

“We’d be better off with some disagreement,” Yukay said. “To be sure we’re not just being nice to get along. But it does seem like a valid reading.”

“So this is similar to our last reading,” Kody said. “Only maybe a bit more extreme. I think we need another reading.”

“Yes,” Zosi agreed. “We need big changes, not small ones.”

Kody brought out the chessboard. He refused to think of it privately as a cheese board. “So where do we go next?”

“To get the best base for triangulation,” Yukay said, “we should travel to a far edge of Xanth. Then to another far edge, in the form of a giant triangle.”

“Which of these pictures shows a far edge?” Zosi asked, looking at the board.

There was the problem: no pictures were labeled. The scenes were varied, but they had little way to ascertain where they were.

“One of those is on the coast,” Yukay said. “Castle Roogna is in the center, so that could be a fair distance.”

“It will have to do,” Kody agreed.

They gathered together and touched the coast picture. And they were there.

The incoming waves were silvery, and so was the sand. The plants farther in were silver. A silver crab scuttled past.

“The Silver Coast,” Yukay said. “That’s adjacent to the Gold Coast. Beyond it will be the Copper Coast. Nothing much edible here.”

Kory shrugged. “I hope you like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”

“Fortunately we don’t have to stay here long,” Zosi said quickly.

They checked their perceptions, and concluded that the differential was about the same as before.

They checked the board again. “What about this one?” Zosi asked. “It looks nice.”

It looked like nothing so much as a huge mud puddle to Kody, but he didn’t argue. He just wanted to get a better differential. The others agreed.

But when they got there, Kody’s perception turned out to be right. They sank almost waist-deep into a brown swamp.

“It’s a sinkhole!” Kody said, alarmed.

“No, it’s worse,” Yukay said, wrinkling her nose. “It’s a stink hole.”

“Squawk!” If a beak could wrinkle, hers would have been corrugated.

“And griffins are notoriously wary of taint,” Yukay said. “They won’t touch spoiled meat. And she’s too fouled to fly.”

Now Kody smelled it. Putrid liquefied garbage. It seemed the smells were not reversed by the Curse. “Maybe I can help,” he said. He conjured a reverse wood chip and flipped it into the brine.

It worked. Now the scent was of pristine perfume.

“But it’s still garbage,” Zosi said as they slogged to the bank. “We’d better clean it off. Before we go anywhere else.”

The others agreed. “But where can we find clean water?” Kody asked.

They looked around. Not too far distant was a mountain, and it looked as if there was a river coursing down it. “There should be a pool at the base of that mount,” Yukay said. “We’ll have to cut cross-country to reach it, but do we have an alternative?”

“Is it safe?” Kody asked.

“By no means. Backwoods Xanth is dangerous.”

“I will flip a chip at anything that seems dangerous,” Kody said.

“Sometimes the worst dangers don’t look like it.”

“But what else can we do?” Zosi asked. “As a zombie this sort of thing never bothered me. But now that I’m alive, I detest it.”

They set off, forging grimly toward the mountain. First Kody, then Zosi, then Yukay, then Zap as rear guard. The bog they had landed in soon gave way to dry sand, then regular dirt. Plants sprang up, and brush thickened. Kody spied a narrow path through the brush, and followed it. That was his mistake.

Because suddenly the path wasn’t there. He stepped off a ledge and fell into a hole. Fortunately it was covered by turf so he didn’t hurt himself as he landed on hands and knees. “Ooof!” he grunted belatedly.

“What happened?” Zosi asked, halting in place.

“I stepped into a hole I didn’t see,” Kody said, picking himself up.

“What hole?”

“This one.” He looked down at his feet. And did a double-take.

His body was knee-deep in the ground. He could see his feet, but also the ground, two images occupying the same space. Yet he was sure his feet were not buried; they felt normal.

Yukay and Zap caught up. They looked.

“Oh, my,” Yukay said.

“Squawk,” Zap agreed.

“Have you any idea what I’m into?” Kody asked. “Because I don’t.”

“Illusion,” Yukay said.

“Illusion?”

“More specifically, an illusion hole. Rather, a natural hole covered over by illusion. I haven’t encountered it before, but I know it when I see it.”

Kody lifted one leg and put it down half a step back the way he had come. It found lodging on a steep bank. Now it looked as if the ground covered it only ankle-deep. He lifted the other foot and found the regular ground. In most of a moment he was standing on the real ground again. Neither leg was dirty. “This is weird.”

Yukay squatted beside him. She reached forward and down. Her hand passed through the ground and went below. “Definitely a hole. The level ground is the illusion.”

“What’s illusion doing here?” Kody asked.

“Illusion is all over Xanth,” Yukay said, standing up again. “Small animals use it to conceal their existence from predators. Plants use it to prevent themselves from being eaten, or to make their flowers more beautiful. Women use it to make their faces pretty; it’s called makeup. It’s very useful.”

“So some plant is covering this hole? Why?”

“It could be nickelpedes.”

“Whats?” He had heard the term before, but couldn’t quite place it.

“The larger cousin of centipedes. They gouge out nickel-sized chunks of flesh from folk they catch. Most folk are careful to avoid their pits. So they might use illusion.”

Centipede. Nickelpede. More Xanth puns. “I did not get gouged,” Kody said. Now he remembered: Zosi had encountered them before being zombied.

“And I did not get my hand chomped,” Yukay said. “So it’s not that. But something must have generated this illusion, for some purpose.”

“Maybe there are other holes,” Zosi said.

“Yes,” Yukay said. “So we should take precautions.”

“Like getting canes or poles to prod the ground ahead of us,” Kody said. “I was lucky I didn’t get hurt. I don’t want to blunder into another hole.”

“None of us do,” Yukay agreed. She looked around. “Some of these saplings should do to make staffs.”

Zosi took two cautious steps and reached for a sapling. Her hand passed through it. “Uh-oh.”

“More illusion?” Yukay asked.

“Yes. I see it, but it’s not there.” Zosi swept her hand through the tree several times.

Zap walked carefully to a tree. She touched it with a wingtip. The wing passed through it without resistance.
ILLUSION
she printed, confirming it.

“This portends mischief,” Yukay said. “The entire scene may be illusion. Why would anyone or anything take the trouble to do this?”

“
How
could anyone do this?” Zosi asked. “This may be a scene worthy of the Sorceress Iris.”

“Iris?” Kody asked.

“King Emeritus Trent’s wife,” Yukay answered. “She was delivered a hundred and twelve years ago and became the most powerful mistress of illusion Xanth has seen. She was youthened nineteen years ago, and is still extant. She could have done this, and probably did, because magic talents are reluctant to repeat, especially the top-level ones. Assuming this is her handiwork, the question is why? Why would she bother to craft a scene in the middle of nowhere? She was never the frivolous kind.”

“Maybe a new retirement retreat?” Zosi suggested.

“Possible,” Yukay agreed. “We have not encountered hostile animals or plants. That would align.”

“So are we intruding?” Kody asked. “I don’t want to run afoul of a Sorceress.” Or a capital D Demon, if that were the responsible party.

“I see no warning signs,” Yukay said. “She could readily have made it clear this was reserved territory, if she wanted to.”

“Let’s assume the Sorceress did it,” Kody said. “And did not post it. Could it be like a public park? For visitors to enjoy?”

“That is possible,” Yukay agreed.

“In which case we don’t need to vacate it, just get through it.”

“So we can get ourselves clean,” Yukay agreed.

“Then let’s find some real saplings or fallen wood and try to make it on to that mountain pool beyond,” Kody said.