Ethan's Song (8 page)

"Good night, Ethan," she whispered, putting one hand to his whiskered cheek.
His hands took hers as he closed his eyes. "I’ll bring your breakfast in, but not real early."
"Honest, I’m..." Her words were cut off by the fingers he placed on her lips gently. Then he left, turning the light off as he went out the door.
Her thoughts were on the door he went out of next. She didn’t think she could rest, knowing it was unlocked. Throwing the covers back, she walked through the two rooms, using only her bedroom light to find her way.
Back in bed, she lay awake for a little while, wondering what the next few days to a week, the doctor had sentenced her to, was going to be like. How soon before she could start talking, without being told not to? When could she resume singing, the thing she loved to do most? Sleep took over shortly after the last question went through her mind.

WAKING EARLY, Jenà showered and dressed in her jeans and pullover sweater. Sitting in the front room, she picked at the strings on her guitar. She had already tried using her voice, which was no better than it was the night before. She couldn’t remember feeling more like singing than she did this morning.

After a while she got restless. Having no idea when her breakfast would be brought in for her, or even if Ethan would be up anytime soon, she decided to go upstairs for at least a cup of coffee. The thought of leaving a note for him passed through her mind, but she dismissed it with a quiet laugh. Just because he acted like she was his possession, didn’t make it so.

Many of Ethan’s guests were in the dining area having coffee, awaiting their morning meal, when she walked in. Near the kitchen door, Jenà found the doctor beside her, a smile on his face.

"You’re looking nice this morning, Miss Wisdom. But you really shouldn’t be up and about for a while. You should get plenty of rest." He looked at her as if she were quite ill and hadn’t sense enough to realize how serious it was.

"I’m fine." She mouthed, not particularly wanting to hear him tell her that she shouldn’t be using her voice yet. "I came to get a cup of coffee." Her lips moved in slightly exaggerated movement, forming each of the words so he could read them accurately.

"Open your mouth and let me take a look at you. Is there any pain this morning?" He stood waiting for her to do as he said.

Looking around the room and then back at him, she mouthed quietly again, "Not in here." There were too many people for him to expect her to let him examine her at the moment, even if it was just her throat. She would feel quite embarrassed.

"Fine." He didn’t seem to be put out because of her refusal. "You get your coffee and I’ll meet you by the stairs and we’ll go down to your room. I’m sure Ethan is up by now, anxious to know how you’re doing."

"Really, doctor. I’m fine." She forgot and tried to use her voice.
"It doesn’t sound much better. Have you taken your pill this morning? You should eat with it, or it could upset your stomach." He watched as she shook her head in silence at his question, then he went back to the table where his wife sat talking to another couple.
Jenà walked into the kitchen, smiling as she saw Flapjack at his stove stirring frantically. Even if she wanted to, she couldn’t have gotten his attention in the noisy room. Walking to where the large percolator sat, she took one of the china cups and poured the steaming coffee into it. She thought how nice it was not to be told she shouldn’t be doing even that.
"Hello Jenà." Jenni’s voice was a bit cold, coming from the pantry door. She stood holding a bag of flour.
Mouthing without a sound, she smiled as she said, "Good morning," in large rounded words. Walking toward the pantry, she moved away from the counter where the empty flour canister sat, waiting to be refilled.
"Is there something wrong?" The woman asked as she passed her, placing the bag on the counter beside the canister.
Turning as she watched her ex-roommate, she spoke as loudly as she could. "Lost my voice. I must have eaten something with lemon in it. I’m allergic to it."
"What a shame. I hope it isn’t permanently damaging to your singing voice. That would be a darn shame." Jenni sounded sympathetic, as she continued her job. She looked very tired.
"No. I’ve gone through this before, though not this bad. I’ll recover, says the doctor." Standing near the pantry door, she watched all the commotion in the kitchen as she drank her coffee. "It’ll probably take a few days before..."
"Jenà!" Ethan’s deep voice rang out, coming from the diningroom door. "I know John hasn’t given you permission to exercise your voice yet. What are you hoping for? A few weeks or months of not being able to sing rather than just a few days?"
She had jumped and closed her mouth when he nearly yelled her name, using such a tone she knew he meant business. Turning her head to him, she answered. "No, I’m not." Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the cook had also turned in Ethan’s direction to see what all the noise in his kitchen was about.
"Downstairs! John is waiting to look at your throat again." When she didn’t move, he stepped toward her. Taking the half empty coffee cup from her hand, he gave it to Jenni as he took Jenà’s arm, leaving the room with her.
"How dare you!" She squawked. "I’m not yours to order around, Mr. Ayers."
In a tone close to hers, though his was in deeper anger, he spoke with narrowed eyes. "Are you going to be quiet, or do I have to kiss you in front of everyone to shut you up?"
"Don’t threaten me, Ethan." Jenà walked ahead of him as far as his hold on her would allow. Her own anger becoming harder to control, as her breathing seemed to become more difficult. It felt as if her throat was closing on her. By the time they reached her room, she was gasping to get any air.
Ethan hadn’t seemed to notice, as far as she knew. Silently he was listening, then opening the door, he swung her up in his arms and took her to her room where the doctor was waiting.
She felt dizzy. She was breathing too quickly, but not deep enough, panicking because she didn’t know what was happening to her. Her arms went limp around his neck as everything went black around her. She could hear their voices near her, but couldn’t understand anything they were saying. The bed was under her, but that was all that her mind registered.
When she opened her eyes again, she found there were no more problems with her breathing. She felt calm, relaxed. Taking a deep breath, she looked around the empty room. She was going to get up, but found she was too weak. Pushing the covers half way down, she noticed she was back in the gown she had pulled off earlier.
Ethan walked into her room at that time. "Are you planning to go somewhere?" He sat on the side of her bed after pulling the covers back over her, blocking her from getting up. "You are to stay put for a few more days; doctor’s orders."
She looked at him angrily. "How did..." His hand covered her whole mouth.
"You will not talk, or I will have the doctor come give you something to put you to sleep again." He removed his hand, smoothing out her hair on the pillow.
"How did I get back in my gown?" She demanded in silent lip movement. His smile was answer enough for her. "You didn’t!" She accused with her lips as well as with her blue eyes.
"I did." He confirmed. "You passed out and the doctor gave you something to calm you. You really shouldn’t get so angry, Jenà." He ran his fingers down the side of her face, outlining her jaw, then touching her lips. "You are so beautiful." He spoke on a deep sigh.
Moving slightly, she grabbed his finger between her teeth, biting down hard. It felt like he had pulled her front teeth out when he jerked his hand away from her. "Maybe that will teach you to leave me alone." She spoke in a childish pout, in her hoarse voice.
"You little brat." He rubbed his finger. "If you weren’t so ill, I’d turn you over my knee for that."
She could see he was angry enough to do what he threatened. "You and who else?" Her expression matched his.
"I see I’m going to have to put a restriction on visitations to this room." The doctor leaned on the door frame watching the two of them. "I hope our patient is feeling better now." He walked to the bedside, moving his head quickly, silently telling Ethan to move. "Open up." He was in the spot the other man had vacated, and he talked as he pointed his little light in her mouth. "You know, I’ve seen a simple allergy like yours create big problems. One woman I believe was allergic to freshly cut hay, lived no where close to it. But she went to her friend’s in the country for a short afternoon visit during the haying season. That was years ago. She still talks like you are right now. Her vocal cords were damaged beyond repair."
Jenà searched his face. He looked serious enough to be speaking the truth, but she wondered if he was just trying to scare her into being quiet as ordered. Could it be true that she might never sing again? She didn’t know what would become of her if that was to happen.
The doctor, finished with her, turned to Ethan. "I suggest if you don’t want to be a contributor to her loss, you either stay completely away, or quit causing arguments."
Jenà smiled as he put the blame on the man standing there, still rubbing his finger. Maybe now she would get the rest she was commanded to get.
"I told the kitchen that you would be ready to eat soon, so they should be bringing in something shortly. You’re to take one of these pills, too. You’ve already missed one, and if this happens again, I’ll take these away and give you injections. I ordered rest, and you will get it, one way or another." Having said his piece to both, the doctor turned and left, closing the bedroom door.
Ethan picked up the paper and pen on the table beside her. "I guess we got told." He no longer showed the pain she had inflicted on him. "Keep this beside you, and don’t open your mouth except to put food in it."
Bringing her right hand up to her brow, Jenà saluted smartly. Her anger was subsiding, but she wished to be alone. Picking up the things he had put beside her, she wrote just what she felt. GET OUT! Setting the things aside, she turned over away from him.
"Don’t be angry with me, Jenà." He spoke softly, bending over her. "I’m only concerned about you." He kissed her cheek lightly, then left, closing the door again.
The deep sigh that came from her brought unwanted tears. She felt sorry for herself, what else could she do at that moment? If she was to get up, she knew she would be chased back into bed, either by Ethan or the doctor. She didn’t want to read, knowing she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on any of the words. She would just lay there and cry, since it was what she really felt like doing.
It wasn’t long before a tap at her door alerted her to someone coming in. A cart was wheeled in, Westley doing the pushing, to the side of her bed before he stopped. He stood there waiting for her to turn toward him.
"Jenà?" His voice was quiet, in case she was asleep. Her arm came from her side, her hand waving him to go away. "I was told to make sure you were comfortable. If you’ll let me, I’ll prop you up and put the tray over your lap."
Picking up the paper, she scribbled so illegible she had to rewrite it before he could understand. LEAVE ME ALONE, I’M NOT HUNGRY. More tears rolled down to the pillow beneath her head.
Sitting on the side of her bed, he put his hand on her shoulder pulling slightly to get her to turn over. "Come on, Jenà. Things can’t be that bad, can they?" He smoothed back her hair, then pulled on her shoulder again. "Let me hold you, maybe you’ll feel better."
Because she felt like being held, she complied, feeling his arms around her as soon as she was against his chest. Her heavy sigh came with more tears.
"There, there." He crooned as if she were just the child she was acting like. "Things will all be better soon. Would you like a book or magazine? I’m sure I can find something. I’m on duty till late. Maybe in the morning I could sneak up here with a deck of cards or something to help pass the time away."
"I think not." Ethan was at the edge of the bed, pulling Westley from the woman. "I don’t think your job is to comfort the patient, Mr. Marx. I’ll see that she’s comfortable. Go back to the kitchen." He had held onto his arm as he talked, giving him a slight shove in the direction of the outer door when he was through the first.
"Ethan!" Jenà squeaked out, getting a cold stare from Westley. Turning back into the bed, facing the wall across the room, she fell silent again. She heard the door close, then felt the bed behind her move as Ethan sat down.
"You’ve got to eat something, Jenà." He spoke as quietly as Westley had a few moments ago. "Do you need to be held? I can do that much for you."
Though that was exactly what she thought she wanted, she refused to give into it. Not because she would rather have Westley’s arms around her, that was definitely not true. But because she was so angry with Ethan still. She just lay still, counting the drops as they hit the already damp pillow.
Scooting closer to her, he put an arm under her, one over her, bringing her to him against her wishes. Keeping quiet, he held her close until she stopped struggling against him. He could feel the hot tears on his chest as he stroked her hair. When he felt she was calm enough and the tears had stopped, he asked if she felt like she could eat something now.
She nodded her head against him, feeling as if her stomach hadn’t had a thing in it for days. As he began to move from her, she put her arm around him, wanting him to stay where he was.
"If you’re hungry, I’ve got to move to get the tray," he said with a chuckle. "I doubt that you’d be able to eat very well with me in your way."
Allowing him freedom to move, she moved herself up in the bed, put her back against the headboard, and accepted the lap tray over her. Taking the napkin, she wiped her eyes and cheeks before lifting the lid that covered her plate. It looked delicious and smelled even better. Ethan had left, gone into her bath, and was coming back with a wet rag, which was cool and felt good on her face as she ran it over her forehead, down to her chin.
"Feel better?" He received a nod, though she wouldn’t look at him. "I’ll be back in about ten minutes to take the tray, alright?" Another nod. She was already devouring the wonderful food.
When she had finished, leaving an empty plate, she prepared a piece of paper to give to him when he came back. The pen flowed over the page smoothly, showing her nice handwriting as she chose the words that would tell him how sorry she was for acting so silly and childish. Then she asked if he would take the time to hold her a little longer.
He returned later than he had said he would, apologizing as soon as he walked in the door, explaining he had found Westley and had apologized to him for his jealous behavior. Jenà smiled up at him as he removed the tray from her lap and saw the note she held up to him.
Moving over, she made room for him to sit beside her. Resuming the position they had been in before she had eaten, she sighed and put her arm around him as if he would try to get away.
Trying to keep the conversation to nods and shakes for answers, wasn’t easy. He wanted to know so many things about her, and what better opportunity than this? But she couldn’t say anything. It was frustrating to both of them. Moving a little, Jenà got the paper and pen and asked if he would just tell her about himself, rather than the twenty questions he kept finding to ask about her.