Every Breaking Wave (15 page)

“I hate these damn things,” he mumbled as he worked the condom on. I giggled and he turned to me. “You’re not making this easy for me, Beth. Not when you lie there looking like that.”

“Then make me stop,” I flirted as he whipped around, crawling over me again.

“Gladly.”

He kissed me and then pulled away again to meet my eyes. His hands were on my sides a moment later, inching slowly down as he planted gentle kisses between my breasts and down to my belly button. I lifted my hips and he slid off my shorts and panties, tossing them to the floor so we were both naked. I blushed at the way he looked at me, his eyes trailing over every inch of my body, his fingertips gliding over my skin, which was becoming increasingly impatient. His breathing was deep and his touch seemed as anxious as I was.

My eyes closed, relishing everything I was feeling. Feelings I thought I’d never feel again and I wanted to feel all of him. I needed to feel all of him.

“Don’t make me wait anymore,” I groaned softly and his fingers stopped, resting his palm on my stomach for a moment and when I opened my eyes he was crawling slowly over me, kissing me deeply as his knee inched my legs apart and then the wait was over. I clung to him tightly, feeling alive…alive for the first time since my heart had been broken and with every breath and stroke of his hands, I could feel it becoming whole again.

Fifteen

What I loved most about our night was waking up in Jeremy’s arms. I’d forgotten how nice it could be to cuddle up close to someone, to feel safe the entire night. This hadn’t been in my plan when I came back to Travers Cove. I’d tried to fight it, but I was glad I’d given up and let him in.

I think he was already awake when my eyes fluttered open. The curtains were blowing gently into the room as the air from outside made its way in. I could smell the ocean air and I breathed in deeply. Between that and the smell of him, I couldn’t imagine anything better.

“Good morning,” he said and I couldn’t help but notice the gravelly tone in his voice. I decided right then I liked the sound of his voice in the morning.

“Hey,” I replied and then sat up, pulling the sheet to my chest, modesty suddenly overcoming me, when it’d been a non-issue the previous night. Feeling sexy was much easier in the dark when his hands were all over my body.

“Did you sleep okay?” he asked and I nodded. “Can I make you breakfast?”

“I’d like that,” I answered and then he suddenly leaned over, pulling me to him and pressing his lips against mine. The thought of morning breath didn’t even cross my mind because all I could think about was how good he tasted as his tongue explored my mouth again.

As suddenly as he’d started, he stopped and pulled away, a sly grin on his face.

“Feel free to relax in here for a while and I’ll let you know when breakfast is ready,” he said as he climbed out of bed and then gave me a sly grin as he pulled his shorts on. “Clothing is optional.”

“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see what I decide on.”

“Can’t wait.”

He smiled at me again and then was gone. I lay back in the bed, resting my head against the pillow, staring up at the ceiling. I could feel the unintentional smile on my face, the kind you’re not even aware of, but the kind that only comes as a result of complete happiness. I hadn’t felt that in a very long time.

My contentment was shattered by the ringing of my cell phone. It was on the floor, hidden somewhere underneath my clothes. I crawled out of the bed, eventually finding it under my shirt and picked it up immediately when I saw it was Darren.

“Hello?”

“Good morning, Beth,” Darren’s voice came through the receiver and I noticed a kindness in it that hadn’t been there in a very long time.

“Good morning,” I returned. “How’s Noah?”

“He’s great. We’re at the airport and he wanted to say goodbye before we leave.”

“Put him on then,” I said and I could hear the phone exchanging hands.

“Hi, Mommy!” He sounded almost giddy with excitement.

“Are you ready to meet Mickey?”

“Yes!” he squealed.

“I hope you have a great time, sweetie.”

“Okay,” he said and then I heard him abruptly giving the phone back to Darren.

“Sorry about that,” Darren said. “He’s a little excited.”

“Good luck on the plane,” I said with a laugh.

“We’ll be fine,” he assured me.

“I’m sure you will be.”

“You sound like you’re in a good mood,” Darren pointed out.

“I am in good mood,” I told him, but keeping the fact that my good mood was because I’d finally released all the pent up sexual frustration last night with Jeremy.

“I’m glad to hear that. I thought you’d still be mad at me for springing this trip on you.”

“I’m not mad, Darren. You’re his father.”

“I know that, but still…after this past year…you have a right to be angry.”

I pulled the phone away from my ear for a moment, staring at it curiously. Darren and I didn’t engage in conversations that didn’t pertain to Noah. I spoke to him as little as possible. This little exchange was definitely out of the ordinary.

“That’s the past. Have fun and please call me when you get there.”

“I will. Bye, Beth.”

“Bye,” I said, hanging up the phone, sitting on the floor for a moment before picking my clothes up and getting dressed. I was certain Jeremy would be disappointed in my choice to cover myself, but naked at the breakfast table was not something I’d ever be comfortable with.

I liked the look of Jeremy at the stove, his shorts hanging on his hips and no shirt. I may not be comfortable with personal nudity during meals, but I was more than okay with a shirtless Jeremy.

“What are you making me?” I asked, walking up beside him as he pushed eggs around in a pan.

“I may renege my offer to make you breakfast since you decided to come out here in clothes.”

“Sorry. You’re going to have to do something really special to get a naked breakfast with me.”

“I’ll make that my new life’s goal then,” he said and I started laughing as I walked to the Keurig to make myself some coffee. “And to answer your question, we’re having omelets.”

“The same kind you made my son?”

“When it comes to cooking, I’m a one trick pony. Perhaps you could teach me how to make something else.”

“Gladly. Come over for breakfast tomorrow and we’ll make blueberry pancakes.”

“Is that an invitation to sleep over?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Perhaps.”

“Invitation accepted then,” he said, sliding an omelet onto a plate and handing it to me. “I can’t wait till tonight.”

I set the plate down, walking behind him and then slid my arms around his bare stomach, my hands resting on his tight abs.

“I can’t wait till tonight either,” I said, lowering my voice as I pressed my lips to his back. I could feel him tensing as they moved over his skin and then I slid my hands into his shorts. “Let’s not wait till tonight.” My voice was low and the words came out slowly.

He turned around in my arms until my chest was pressed against his. He was looking down at me, our eyes locking as he ran his fingers through my hair.

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” he said, turning off the stove and smiling a greedy smile. He scooped me into his arms and then we were moving down the hall and back into his bedroom. I giggled as he laid me on the bed and began stripping me of the clothes I’d just put on, but then the laughter stopped as the weight of his body pressed against mine and the warmness of his lips on my skin told me nothing about this situation was funny. It was serious. The way he made me feel was serious. The way he made me forget the hurt of the past year was serious and as I lost myself in him again, I knew I was seriously falling for him.

Sixteen

I missed Noah, but I had to admit, it was nice to be alone with just Jeremy and me. He’d go out on the boat during the day and I went to the beach in the morning, running my toes through the sand as I read. It’d been forever since I’d been able to escape in books and I forgot how much I’d missed it. I was always anxious to see Jeremy come home in the evenings though and when he came over to spend the night, I felt complete.

“I don’t think I’m going to work today,” he said one morning as we lay in bed, wrapped in each other’s arms. He was tickling my shoulder with his fingertips as I traced the skin on his chest with mine. I propped myself up so I was looking at him. His eyes were staring off, almost as if he was somewhere else.

“Not that I’m complaining,” I began. “But, why not?”

“I want to take you somewhere.”

“Oh yeah?” My curiosity was definitely piqued. “Where are we going?”

“Just bring your bathing suit,” he said, kissing me before climbing out of bed. “I’m heading to my house to get ready. I’ll be back in an hour.”

He was gone a few moments later and I lay in bed wondering where we could be going. I eventually headed to the bathroom though, taking a quick shower and then pulled on my bathing suit, covering it with a pair of cut-offs and a black tank top. I dried my hair and clipped it up off my neck before applying my sunscreen and a little make-up.

I decided to pick up the house while I waited for Jeremy and just as I was putting the last dish away, I heard a knock on the door before he let himself in.

“Ready?” he asked and I turned just in time to see his eyes move up and down my body. There was something off about him though. He seemed distant, a straight line formed on his face.

“Are you okay, Jeremy?” I asked, approaching him and resting my hand on his arm.

“I’m fine,” he said, kissing me on the cheek, but I didn’t believe him. “All set?”

“I am,” I said, grabbing my bag and following him out to his SUV. He held the door open for me and once I was inside he got in.

It was quiet as we drove and I was surprised when he pulled in front of the only flower shop in town.

“Do you mind waiting here for a second?” he asked and I shook my head before he got out.

He wasn’t gone long, returning a few minutes later with a small bouquet of wild flowers. I half expected him to hand them to me, but he didn’t, instead setting them in the backseat. I opened my mouth to ask him what the flowers were for, but something told me not to and then he turned to me.

“I was hoping you’d come with me to my parents’ grave,” he said softly, his dark eyes meeting mine. “I haven’t been in a while and I think I should go.”

I felt my eyes growing warm and I swallowed hard. I took his hand, squeezing it and then ran my fingertips that stuck out of the top of my cast over his cheek.

“I’d love to go with you,” I said gently, giving him an encouraging smile. He didn’t smile back though, but he nodded, leaning over the console and hugging me for a moment before pulling out of the parking lot.

We were quiet as we drove, just the soft music of the radio flowing through the speakers. I didn’t know where the cemetery was and a few minutes later, we were driving up a hill and through arched gates. It was a beautiful cemetery with large granite headstones, so typical of old New England. Jeremy parked the SUV and after he gathered up the flowers, we got out and he took my hand as we began walking down one of the paths. I could hear the waves crashing and when I looked up, I could see the ocean off in the distance. I couldn’t recall ever seeing such a peaceful cemetery.

“They’re up here,” he said a few moments later, pointing ahead.

His gait seemed to slow and soon I could see their headstones: Robert J. Parrish and Stephanie R. Parrish. There was a little picture of them between their names. His parents looked happy. They both had dark hair like Jeremy and I could see parts of both his mother and his father in him. He didn’t move for a few moments. He continued to hold my hand and stare at the gravestone and then I felt him release my hand and he stepped forward, placing the bouquet against the granite. I stayed back, not sure what I should do as his head remained bowed. I thought I heard him crying and my heart ached. I stepped slowly at first, placing my hand cautiously on his back to see how he’d react. When he didn’t flinch or jerk away, I went even closer, stationing myself beside him.

“I wonder what it would’ve been like if they had lived,” he said, trying to pull himself together, but his voice was still quivering. “I wonder if they’d be proud of me or if they’d think I was a total failure.”

“They’re proud of you, Jeremy,” I said softly. “They raised a great man. They’re so proud of you.”

“I hope so,” he whispered and it was quiet again for a few moments while I began moving my hand in gentle circles on his back. “Sometimes I replay that day over and over in my head. Had I not chosen to play baseball or if they hadn’t been able to come to that game, they’d still be alive.”

“It’s not your fault,” I whispered.

“I try to tell myself that,” he said softly and a silence fell over us for a few moments before he continued. “I wish you could’ve met them.”

“Me too,” I said, resting my head on his shoulder and then he turned, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me to him. He held me tightly and I let him. I wanted to give him anything he needed at this moment.

“Thank you for coming with me,” he said quietly as he continued to hold me. “It’s hard to come here.”

“Thank you for trusting me,” I replied and I felt him breathe in deeply before pulling away and cupping my face gently with his palms and then he kissed me. Long and sweet and slow and then without any words, he took my hand and led me back to the SUV.

~~~

Jeremy seemed to be different after that. He’d been so somber all morning, but after visiting his parents, he seemed happier, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. I wanted to ask how long it’d been since he’d been to see them, but I decided not to. I had a feeling it had been a long time though.

I thought we would head home after that, but once we left the cemetery, we headed away from town.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“You’ll see,” he said, taking my hand and turning to me with the warm smile that had been missing all day.

I didn’t want to ruin his surprise, so I didn’t press him. We drove for nearly a half an hour, but then he turned off the highway. I saw him kick on the four-wheel drive and I soon realized why. It was questionable if the road we were on was even a road. It was surrounded by tall grass and I couldn’t help myself from laughing as we bounced around on the bumps. I was glad my seatbelt was working because I would’ve knocked my head against the ceiling a few times otherwise.

He finally stopped near a cliff overlooking the ocean. The view was breathtaking as the waves crashed against the black rocks and it appeared as if there wasn’t anyone around for a hundred miles. The sky was crystal blue without a cloud in the sky and the water was just as striking.

“C’mon,” he said, grinning at me and then hopped out.

We met at the front of the SUV and he took my hand, leading me even closer to the edge of the cliff. I stopped when I saw he was about to start walking down it.

“What are you doing?” I asked nervously. “It’s like straight down from here.”

“It’s not that bad and I promise it’ll be worth it.”

I continued to stand there hesitantly, staring down at the descent Jeremy wanted me to make. I was already afraid of heights and I didn’t want to plunge to my death today.

“Beth,” he said, pulling me from my thoughts. “I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.” I looked up to meet his eyes and I suddenly wasn’t as afraid anymore.

“Okay,” I said quietly and then took the first step.

Jeremy was right. While it was a steep climb down, it wasn’t that bad. He was right below me the whole time and there were plenty of places for me to set my hands and feet.

“How are we gonna get back up?” I asked when we were half-way down.

“We’ll worry about that when it’s time, but we’ll be fine,” he laughed.

As I neared the bottom, I felt his hands on my waist, lifting me off the rocks and setting me down beside him.

“Well,” he sighed. “What do you think?”

It was like a secret oasis surrounded by towering onyx rocks that peppered their way throughout the beach and into the water.

“Where are we?” I asked as I began walking towards the water.

“Just a place I discovered after my parents died. I like it because of its solitude,” he said, stepping into the water so it lapped around his ankles.

“It does seem rather secluded. Have you brought many women here?” I teased and he turned to me, a serious expression on his face.

“Only you,” he said as a smile formed on my lips. “I used to come here to escape when it became too much. I wanted to share it with you.”

“It’s beautiful,” I said and then he came toward me.

“I’d say we could go swimming, but your cast is going to prevent that,” he grinned, touching it.

“I’m so sick of this thing,” I sighed and then he stripped his t-shirt off, standing before me in just his shorts and I couldn’t take my eyes off his taut stomach.

“We can still play in the water,” he said, reaching for my tank top and peeling it off. He tugged at my shorts a second later and once we were both in our suits, he took my hand and led me back to the water.

It was cold at first as it ran over our feet, but then we walked in up to our knees. He held my hand and we stared out into the water. It was bluer than it usually was. New England wasn’t known for its clear water, but today seemed to be an exception.

“I used to come here for hours after they died. I’d fish or swim or just sit. I never once saw another living soul while I was out here. I haven’t been here in a while though.”

“Thank you for bringing me,” I said and he turned to me, sliding his hands around my waist, pulling me close to him.

He reached up, undoing the clip from my hair and tossed it onto the shore. His fingers were tangled in my hair a second later and I could feel my breathing start to pick up. His lips were on mine a moment later, kissing me softly at first, but then I began pressing my mouth harder against his and he reciprocated. He picked me up, cradling me in his arms and made his way out of the water, laying me down gently onto the warm sand. His lips found their way to mine again, but only for a moment because soon they were moving down my neck and then onto my shoulder as he pulled the strap of my suit off.

I didn’t give it a second thought that we were on the beach. Jeremy had said he’d never seen another person the entire time he’d been coming here and truthfully, I didn’t care at that moment. I just wanted him.

I reached for his shorts, tugging at them until they were off and he did the same to my suit until there was nothing separating us. Our eyes met and I knew things were different now. This wasn’t just a summer fling. This was something more and as he pulled me even closer to him, I knew it was exactly what I needed.