Every Time We Kiss (25 page)

Jennette smiled hearing the captain’s low voice outside her door. The first mate had told her the captain would introduce himself once he had the time. She’d expected their meeting would occur after they had set sail.

“Just a minute, Captain.”

She glanced in the mirror and sighed. The bedraggled sight reflected back looked in no condition to meet anyone. She pushed the stray hairs back into her chignon and knew there was nothing she could do about the dark circles under her eyes. If nothing else, she looked the grieving widow.

She started to open the door only to have it pushed out of her grip. Stumbling backwards, she gasped when she noticed him.

Matthew slammed the door behind him and glared at her. “Do you have any idea what you have put me and your entire family through today?”

Anger surged in her. How dare he come in her room? How dare he find her?

“Get out. I have already written a note to my family so they will know where I am.”

His gray eyes turned to hard slate. “And me? I suppose you were going to send me a note too?”

“No,” she said, glaring back at him. “You don’t deserve a note or anything else from me.”

“Oh?” He took a menacing step closer to her.

She parried with a step sidewise. “After all, you were the one who finally realized the only way to regain your name was to have your mistress tell everyone the truth. You don’t need me any longer. You have your name and now some innocent miss will love to be the next Countess Blackburn.”

His hand snaked out and clutched her arm. As he pulled her close to him, she tried to ignore his wholly masculine scent. She couldn’t let herself fall victim to his intoxicating charms.

“You are quite wrong about everything,” he whispered. “I don’t have my name back. And I don’t want an innocent miss in my bed or my life.”

Jennette pulled back and frowned at him. “How could you not have your name back? She told everyone the truth.”

His lips tilted upward. “Do you honestly think anyone would believe a disgruntled mistress?”

It didn’t matter. He had arranged with Vanessa to make that announcement. She pulled out of his grip to get away from her mesmerizing attraction to him. She had to keep her senses alert. Being near him did terrible things to her mind.

“Well, I guess you should have thought about that before you had her make her announcement to half the
ton,”
Jennette spat.

Matthew stilled. “You think I put her up to that announcement?”

For a quick moment, she almost believed the innocent look on his face. “Yes, why else would she have done it?”

“Because she didn’t want me to marry you,” he said with a sigh. “She was in love with me.”

She crossed her arms over the black wool covering her chest. “Why would a mistress care who her protector married?”

“Because she knew I would never come back to her if I married you,” he said gently.

“How could she know that for certain? Many married men take mistresses,” she retorted before walking the short distance of the room. There was not enough room to pace in here! With his overwhelming presence, the small cabin seemed to shrink.

“Because she knew I loved you. And I, unlike many men in the
ton
, wouldn’t take a mistress when I loved my wife.”

Jennette stopped mid-step. He loved her. Her heart leaped in her chest and then slowed. It mattered not if he loved her. Nothing changed just because he’d said those lovely, heart-wrenchingly beautiful words.

“Then how did she learn about what happened to John if you didn’t tell her?”

Matthew glanced down to the floor of the cabin and sighed. “I did tell her,” he admitted in a whispered tone.

“Why?” Jennette’s voice rose.

“I was drunk and bitter. It happened two years ago.” He looked into her blue eyes and held her gaze. “I’m sorry. I had no idea she would ever speak of it. Mistresses are supposed to keep secrets.”

The look in his eye was so genuine Jennette almost ran to him then. But she couldn’t. There was still too much that he hadn’t explained. And nothing he’d said changed her situation. She might still hang for John’s death. The only thing to do was make him leave and put the pieces of her heart back together again…alone.

“Thank you for telling me what really happened.” She walked to the door and opened it. “Good-bye, Matthew.”

His eyes widened and slowly he smiled. “Do you really think I’m leaving?”

“I believe you had better before I call for assistance.”

“Call all you want.” He took the two steps to the door and slammed it shut. “They all believe I am your husband. So who do you think is going to interfere with a married couple? According to the law, I can forcibly remove you from this ship and no one could stop me.”

“Why would they think we are married?”

“Because I told them we had argued and you thought to leave. We both know that as my wife I can drag you back to my house, even against your will.” He placed his hands on his hips and gave her a devious smile.

“I cannot believe you did that!”

“I did. And if you don’t pack your bags right now, I will put you over my shoulder and carry you off this boat.”

“You wouldn’t…” Her voice trailed off because, staring into his eyes, she knew he would dare to do such an outrageous thing. And the idea that he would melted her heart. He wouldn’t force her to return if he didn’t love her.

“I cannot go back, Matthew.” She turned away from him.

He stepped behind her and gently placed his large hands on her shoulders. Leaning toward her ear, he whispered, “I will be there with you, Jennette. For all times.”

“I killed John. I ruined your name. I scandalized my family’s name.” A tear slowly tracked down her cheek. She wanted desperately to believe everything would be all right. But she knew better.

“My name doesn’t matter as long as you are with me.”

“Matthew, please stop. We both know your name means everything to you.”

“Not if you aren’t with me.” He turned her around and looked down at her. “Jennette, I have nothing to offer you except my love.”

“Please, don’t do this,” she pleaded. She hated the thought of turning him down. If she could just prevent him from proposing to her and then get him to leave.

“Jennette, please marry me. Be my wife and we shall face the gossips together. We’ll show them that waspish talk doesn’t matter when you’re in love.”

Her heart raced. She couldn’t do this. She could not! “No!”

“What?”

“I cannot marry you. I can’t go back to town. I have to leave before they discover the truth.”

“Who and what truth?”

“The investigators, you fool. Now that Vanessa told everyone that I killed him, there will be another inquest. I lied to them five years ago.” She covered her mouth with her hands and mumbled, “Oh God, you lied to them, too.”

Matthew grabbed her shoulders and brought her closer to him. There was no way he was going to let her go now. He knew she loved him. But somehow, he had to find a way to get her to admit it and trust him enough to face the gossips.

“Jennette, no one will believe Vanessa. She isn’t a lady. She’s just a bitter mistress who lost her protector.”

“I saw the looks on the faces of the people at the party. They were horrified.”

“By her actions, not yours,” he said softly, trying to calm the wild look in her eyes.

“I can’t go back there, Matthew.” She flung herself into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Come with me. We can build a new life together in America.”

He slowly disentangled himself from her clinging body. Cupping her face, he said, “We cannot do that. I am the earl. I have responsibilities to my tenants, to my estates, to you. I cannot leave and you know that.”

“I do know that,” she mumbled. “Then I shall have to go alone.”

With his thumbs, he wiped away her tears. “Jennette, I promise you, everything will be all right. No one will believe her. Your family and friends will support you. Your brother has been out of his mind since he learned you were missing. You can’t leave them.”

He paused before whispering, “You can’t leave me.”

She closed her eyes as tears continued to fall. “I don’t want to leave you…or my family. But how can I stay?”

“You have to trust me,” he said softly. “I’m not going to let you leave, Jennette.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “I shall be by your side the entire time. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“You are far too good for me,” she whispered. “I don’t deserve such an honorable man.”

He laughed softly. “Hardly honorable. Just a man in love.”

She blinked her blue eyes and stared at him. “I love you, Matthew.”

“I know, Jennette,” he said with a smile. “I think I’ve known since that first night we made love. You never would have given yourself to a man you didn’t love.”

“I do love you, Matthew,” she whispered.

“And do you love me enough to disregard the gossips?”

She bit down on her lip and nodded slowly.

“I will never let anything happen to you, Jennette. I will protect you with my name, my title, and more importantly, my love.”

She wrapped her arms around him. “I love you, Matthew. And I want more than anything to be your wife.”

“Then so you shall. But if we don’t leave now, I’m going to make love to you here.”

Jennette kissed his mouth tenderly. “And that wouldn’t be good?”

Matthew laughed. “Oh, it would be good but we would spend our honeymoon traveling to New York.”

She leaped backward. “The ship! It’s leaving soon.”

“Not with us on it.”