Every Which Way (Sloan Brothers) (42 page)

Severine pushed back, but he stayed in place. “You’re not letting me think!”

“Come on!” Thayer taunted. She snapped her head up to look at him. He pushed away the hair that was tangled in her eyes. “Lay me down if you’re finished! If you can walk away, then go!”

He provoked. He pushed. He stalked until it became too much. “I can’t. I love you!” Severine screamed before she could think the words through.

Her breathing came out in gasps. She wanted to wrap her arms around her body, huddle close within herself—away from the pain she was feeling. Thayer’s grip became gentle, and she looked up at him with confusion. “This is painful! You and me together scares me! Everything between us is passionate. How do we know if this is really true?”

“You’re looking for something you already have.”

Severine nodded and held onto his arms. The cards that had been dealt to her weren’t expected. The harsh realities of the world would never be a welcoming experience.

“I don’t want us closed.”

“I don’t want that either. I-” Her head jerked to the door when she heard voices. Sooner than later, she’d have to face Macsen with Thayer next to her. Sooner than later, he’d have to see what was reality and what could’ve been.

In the doorway stood Jayni and Owen. It should’ve been a time for Thayer and Severine to greet them. But to the side stood Macsen. The expression on his face was impossible to translate.

Jayni stepped forward with a nervous glance between Thayer and Macsen. “Severine. It’s great to see you again.”

Severine nodded and accepted the hug. Behind Jayni’s back, her eyes pleaded to Thayer, for him to get her out of here. She returned the hug with complete distraction. When Jayni pulled away, Severine smiled apologetically. “I should get going. Let you guys have some family time.”

Her breath felt shallow, as she looked everywhere else but at Thayer and Macsen. She had to leave. Now. Slowly, she retreated toward the door that was becoming higher ground compared to the reality in front of her. It was all starting to sink.

Macsen stepped away from the wall. With his arms crossed, he stood next to Thayer. It was the closest Severine had ever seen them together. “Dad, Jayni. I never had the chance to introduce you to my ex.” He swept a hand in Severine’s direction. It was a spotlight no one would crave. “This is Severine…the bitch that has tortured my every thought since I met her!”

Severine’s back stiffened. It wasn’t his words. She could take the word bitch. Most times she could hold that title above her head like a trophy. Her strength was something to covet. When it came from Macsen’s mouth, it was pronounced in the lowest form. It felt vile. It transformed him into a person Severine didn’t know.

Thayer shifted to look at Severine. It only took one glance for him to see her anger and pain. He turned away and rushed at Macsen. Disorder erupted as Thayer tackled Macsen to the ground.

Severine stood back with Jayni. A paroxysm of feelings swirled in her veins. Her pain wasn’t small; it spread from her heart and numbed her body. Words only went so far. A simple reaction said enough to leave most people satisfied.

With a punch to Thayer’s stomach and a quick punch to Macsen’s face...Severine cringed with every movement they made.

“Owen!” Jayni yelled. “Get them off each other!”

Owen moved toward the two of them. Macsen slammed Thayer against the wall, and Owen stepped away.

She had to get away from this. Without her coat or keys, Severine walked to the door and promptly ran into Mathias. He stared at her with puzzlement and looked at the commotion behind her.

“Shit,” he mumbled. The luggage in his hands dropped. He gripped Severine’s shoulders and stared at her point blank. “Stay here. Family time is just starting.”

She followed Mathias with her gaze as he shouted out to his brothers. “Curtain’s closed! No one gives a fuck about your problems.” He clutched Thayer by the shirt and dragged him away. Not once did Mathias glance over at Macsen.

Owen walked into the kitchen and came back out with a roll of paper towels. He threw a few at Macsen and chucked the rest at Mathias.

Macsen heaved out a heavy breath and leaned against the wall. “Finders, keepers, brother!” he taunted out darkly.

Thayer moved forward, and Mathias slammed him back against the wall. Mathias turned to finally look at Macsen. Strangers held more in their gaze than Mathias’s. And for a brief second, Macsen’s battered feelings came to the surface. Severine saw the guy she first smiled at months ago, the one she believed in. She hadn’t seen him in a while. After this, it was doubtful he would be found again.

He momentarily looked at Severine, but the contact did nothing for her. Not anymore.

“What the hell is going on?” Owen bellowed.

Macsen tried to smile. His cracked lip made it impossible. “Thayer wants my seconds.”

“Son of a bitch!” Mathias slapped a hand against his thigh and fixed him with glare. “Can you keep your mouth shut?”

Owen finally leveled his gaze on Macsen. His deep voice was clear. “Tell me again what’s going on. This time, explain without being a complete asshole. If you say anything about,” his finger blindly reached behind him and pointed in Severine’s direction, “her, I’ll be the one to punch you. You’re my son, but you’re starting to piss me off now.”

In front of Severine was a battlefield. Her heart was drumming to a beat she had never heard. Jayni ran a hand down Severine’s arm and patted her shoulder. The arguing erupted in front of her.

Severine didn’t want this. It may get better for their family, but that window for Severine seemed to have slammed shut.

Her legs backed up, and Macsen’s head shot up quickly. “Stay, Sev!” He sat on the floor, still bleeding, and even battered, he had the ability to wound her. None of this was supposed to happen. “Everyone in my life that’s fucked me over is here. Let’s all sit and talk!”

“Macsen-” Owen gruffly spoke out.

“Wow! Dad speaks. He has a voice!” Macsen laughed, and it was dark. A chill swept through Severine as she stared down at him. Everything before this moment had been an illusion. An illusion of what she thought she knew to be the truth. The reality was in front of her. It yelled out that this family feud went much deeper than sibling wars. Macsen kept his gaze on her face, and pointed directly at her chest, right where her heart laid. “You want the beginning? Let’s go back to the day I met you, Severine!”

“I’m not doing this here.”

“I count the times you walk away. You want to know the truth about everything? Then sit.”

Severine’s animosity rose for him with each word he spoke. A part of her wanted to pummel him with punches for the pain he’d given her. “You want to hash things out in front of your family? Do you really want to do that?” Severine stepped closer. “Tell them you cheated on me with someone else. Tell them all of it, Macsen!”

He leaned his head against the wall, with his eyes in slits, and he looked her over. “Is it any better than you fucking my brother weeks after you left me? And what’s worse is you did it behind everyone’s back. Who’s next, Severine? Hmm? Maybe Mathias?”

His words put the pressure on the trigger. Her anger exploded out of her. She looped around Jayni and went for any part of his body. All she could connect with was his arm—Thayer snatched her back from doing anything else.

Pain was always brought out during the worst of times. Anger sometimes followed. It was the truth that came and snatched it all away. When the truth arrived, the damage would always be far worse. “You never gave me anything!” Severine yelled.

Macsen stood up slowly. His hand reached out, and Severine swore he was in pain. “I gave you everything I possibly could!”

“You’re too chicken shit to say the truth about anything! You hide behind it and use it as a fucking excuse!”

“You were with me, but were you ever? I was dragged along while you and my brother snuck looks at each other. So who’s the chicken shit? Me or you?”

“That is enough!” Jayni yelled. Her cheeks were flushed, and her pulse pounded against her neck. Severine blinked a few times before she realized that Jayni was there. Macsen and Severine still had a crowd around them.

Everyone paused long enough to look in her direction. Everyone but Macsen. He snorted and kept speaking. “It’ll never be enough until Severine has her truth!”

Mathias rubbed his face and groaned. “Shit. Just stop talking.”

Macsen gave Mathias the finger and walked toward the broken kitchen table. His hands wobbled as they grasped a chair that was still intact. “My life became a disaster the minute my mom asked me to testify against Dad during a custody battle.”

Everyone stopped speaking.

Severine’s eyes widened as he continued. “I lied for her. I was eight years old and believed everything that came out of her mouth. I lied and said my dad had abused me.”

Severine’s heart dropped to her stomach at his revelation. There was no manipulation in his eyes, just pain. She stepped forward and stood on the opposite side of the table.

“I thought I could keep you without me ruining us. But I fucked even that up. Maybe there is nothing inside of me but a big hole. Maybe I have no soul. Maybe I’m a different breed. My life has been filled with mistakes, and I thought if I kept you away from it, you’d never see that part of me.” A single tear fell down his cheek, and Severine’s own sadness chased after it. “Everything’s better without the truth. Are you happy now?”

“No,” Thayer said as he stepped forward, “don’t put that on her.”

Macsen breathed harshly through his nose. “Don’t give her the truth?”

“We hated each other way before she came along.”

“Do you ever wonder what we saw in you, Sev?”

She did. Every single day. “No,” Severine lied.

“You’re a fucking liar,” Macsen accused. He knew her well enough to see through her poker face and call her bluff. Both brothers did.

“You were so fucking carefree,” Macsen explained. Severine swallowed loudly as he continued. “But you had so much fire in you. After a while, I saw what Thayer saw: a girl that could cut a person down with a look and build them right back up with a smile. I swear on everything that I believed that you wouldn’t get to me. I could’ve guaranteed that your smiles wouldn’t make me feel like I could alter all my past fuck-ups and make it better...I tried so fucking hard with you, Severine.”

Chapter Forty-six

It was freezing, but Severine stayed outside.

Inside, things were starting to quiet down. Thayer sat at the kitchen table and talked with his dad heatedly. Macsen had left an hour ago.

Severine wanted to follow him and ask him so many things. Every question started with why. His past wouldn’t have affected her. What his mom did to him wasn’t his fault. He was just a child. She was never given the chance to tell him any of her thoughts.

She gathered her sweater tightly against her and looked up at the sky. It was clear. Stars sprinkled its perfect canvas. Every night, this was a constant. How could she make her life that way?

The patio door opened, and Severine turned her head at the noise. Mathias walked up with his hands in his pockets and flashed his package of cigarettes. “I’m killing sixty seconds off my life.” He peered at her. “What’s your excuse for being out here?”

Severine hugged her arms tighter around herself and sat on the frigid patio seat. “I didn’t want to listen to that.”

A cigarette poked out of the side of his mouth. The lighter in his hands brought a flash of light to his face and the dark smirk on his lips. He inhaled deeply, and a trail of smoke escaped his mouth as he lifted his head to the sky. “You mean, not everyone’s family is so messed up?”

A wind picked up around them, and the bare branches bent toward the wind’s demands. At night, everything was raw, primal, and so completely alone.

If Severine could ever regret her choices, it’d be now. “Tell me something good about your brothers.”

His laugh was dark. “I can’t.” He flicked the tip of his cigarette and stared down at the fixture in his hands. “We’re all a fucking mess; each of us in a different way.”

Severine shook her head at his cryptic words. “That’s a dark thing to say.”

“It’s the truth. It’s what you get for allowing a Sloan into your life.”

“You know, I used to think that I could figure it out.”

Mathias barely raised a brow. “And now?”

“I’m still just as lost.”

“You’ve started a fire between them,” Mathias warned, although the dark smile on his face made it impossible for his warning to be sincere. “It might be impossible to douse those flames.” He looked at her sympathetically. “Did you really not have any clue what you were getting yourself into?”

“I didn’t want that, what happened earlier,” Severine confessed. She needed to tell her feelings to someone.

“I know. Everyone knows.” He finished his cigarette and flicked it off the deck without caring where it fell. When he turned back to her, the wind kicked up and tousled his dark blonde hair—so similar to Thayer’s. Mathias was too raw, though. He held dark secrets in his eyes and was friendly to no one. “Welcome to the family, tiger.” He patted her shoulder and smiled widely. “You’ve earned your stripes.”