Extol of Agnatic Dreams (The Extol Series Book 1) (33 page)

“Because I never thought you would be so good at it.” The words seemed to burst from within. “I thought there would be something different about you, just as I feel there is something different in me.” Evangeline shook her head and started to move past him back towards the path that would lead back to the castle.

Thomas caught her and spin her around that they faced each other. “You don’t think you left a mark on me?”

“I know I didn’t,” she challenged. This challenge felt teasing, so unlike the challenges she gave Glais where she was mean spirited and with intention. This was the opposite like she was playing a game and waiting for Thomas to speak back the next piece so they could continue playing.

“You did.” Thomas promised and took her hand and after placing a kiss on her palm, he pressed her hand to his chest. “Here. On my heart. I will never forget the night we had Eva. You are a fool to think differently.” Evangeline smiled and rose to kiss him but he pulled back. “I can’t. You are due to marry the future King in less than a day.”

He watched as her emotions changed. Evangeline’s features were such an easy page to read with every emotion on bright display. So animated that it broke his heart to see her looking so rejected. She stepped back and Thomas released her. “I’m sorry,” She whispered.

“It is what it is Eva. I am a soldier and you are to become the Queen of Braykith. We both knew it was foolish, and you cannot pretend to say you didn’t.” Evangeline closed her mouth, stopping the protest before it began. “We will always have that night.” He tried to brighten her spirits but she was far too gone to be satisfied by anything.

“Glais will never be able to take that away from me.” Evangeline started to walk back and Thomas followed, this time beside her. “He is forcing Luella to leave.”

“Now that is interesting.” Thomas did not mean to speak those words out loud, and simply seeing her reaction, he knew that he would be forced to explain them.

“Why? He will only replace her with the next person.” Evangeline’s lips trembled with a pout. She hated to think who Luella would be replaced with.

Thomas shook his head. “The Braykith Royals are picky. When they find one they like, they tend to stick with them.”

“Glais says he doesn’t like any of them. They are just the girls he happens to have.” Walking with her arms crossed was difficult so she was forced to uncross them. Even the sun finding her through the trees did not help her lose that chill. Speaking about Glais in any context seemed to make her feel cold. She needed to hug herself for warmth against the truth.

“I never desired to understand them before.” Thomas was apologetic about his own short comings, knowing he was not doing or saying the right things to make her feel comforted. He wasn’t sure how to make her happy. His station made it impossible to embrace Evangeline even if she would allow it. “I take my orders, and I take them well.” He gave Evangeline a sly look from under his lashes. He was reward with a brief smile.

“You certainly do that. I can see now why you are a favoured soldier to keep within the castle.” At the mention of the place Evangeline stopped to look up at it. “Will I truly be wed to Glais?” Evangeline didn’t need an answer and Thomas was smart enough not to give one to her. She knew the answers already and there was nothing that Thomas could say that would soothe her.

“Your parents are due to arrive before dinner. I am sure having them here will make you feel comforted.” He tried but that news was not welcomed either.

“They traded me for their own protection.” Evangeline attempted to explain why her parents were a complicated issue. “They gave me to a stranger, and will not allow me to leave.” She bitterly recalled the words in her mother’s hand. Words of loyalty, faith and wisdom. She had not been comforted then and she continued not to find comfort in it now.

“I will no longer be their daughter soon, and I will be forced to obey a man who I have no love for.” She looked at Thomas. While she wasn’t sure if she loved him, Evangeline did know she respected him. She felt safe with Thomas, and that gave her courage to divulge her fears. “And I will bear his children, and that curse that is settled upon his veins will live on through our own and forever taint my heritage.” She started walking again at a stronger pace.

Thomas followed her. “You won’t leave.” It wasn’t a question and Evangeline noted his tone as well. She was not sure yet about how she felt about it.

“No, I will not leave,” She admitted. “For one stupid reason Thomas.”

He didn’t imagine it was his presence that kept her here although it was a very romantic notion. “And what reason can that be?”

“Because I would have nowhere to go. My family owes their life to Quintus. My best friends are dead, and we are at best complicated. I have no other place to be but here at Braykith, and sadly that is the fate I am assigned to.”

E
vangeline had been sitting in her chambers, and looking to the window as if the glass gave her more than the views of the Braykith lands. She wished to feel more, find something to motivate her but since her friends’ death, she was nothing more than a shell. Wick had given her food and drink but it was seldom she ate it. Her body felt heavy and her mind clouded by reality. She had never understood such emotion before and Evangeline struggled alone with it.

A knock came at her door but she ignored it, sighing instead and returning her attention to the small spider that in the corner of the window frame. Leaning forward, she watched as it spun its web in the hopes of finding food. Evangeline wondered if the spider had such a simple life as she imagined or was the small creature anxious as it worked. Did it know that she could end its life if she so desired it? For a moment, Evangeline did desire it but she did not kill the spider. It seemed uselessly cruel.

Wick answered the knock at the door. It had been their pattern as of late and while Wick did prefer that Evangeline no longer attempted to draw her into the conversation, she did not like seeing Evangeline so lost. Evangeline moved from manic desires to be busy to barely keeping her head up as she stared off into the distance. Whatever she was thinking on, Wick could only guess at. She did know however as soon as she saw Glais standing at the door, that this was not a guest that Evangeline would be pleased to see.

“Wick.” Glais nodded as he greeted her, doing his best to be welcoming and less dismissive of his former friend now that Evangeline knew of their shared past. Wick was not happy with this new dynamic between them but she would say nothing. Her face a blank reception to his interruption. “Evangeline’s parents are here.”

Wick blinked, giving away nothing of her thoughts as Glais stayed in the hallway. He cleared his throat, muffling it with his hand. Glais was hoping that Evangeline would appear to save him from this discomfort but it seemed that she would not be coming to his aid. “Can you go and get her?” he asked.

Wick considered it for a moment and eventually her decision was made because Evangeline would tell Glais to leave with words she would never dare to use herself. She gave the smallest of bows, the only change in her nature that occurred when speaking directly with the royal family of Braykith. She stood in the middle of the sitting room, and Glais took that as a sign to enter the room.

It had not changed since the last time he was here, and Glais found himself looking around and hoping to spy a clue as to what state Evangeline was in. Her moods were quickly becoming legendary and he was concerned for her. Not only the news of his peculiar condition but the sudden deaths of her two friends had forced Evangeline only further inside her own mind. She shared nothing with no one, and quickly the few people who dared no longer attempted to sooth her. It only seemed to upset her further.

With Glais preoccupied Wick entered Evangeline’s chambers, finding her unnerving when Wick came upon Evangeline in this still and comatose inspired state. Wick supposed this was how Evangeline felt about her when they first met and so Wick did her best not to address it now. Wick checked that the door was closed and they were indeed alone before gently approaching the bed. “Lady Eva, Prince Glais is in your sitting room.”

Evangeline’s eyes closed and she shook her head. “I do not wish to see him. I do not want to see anyone.” She thought they had an understanding and yet Wick would not leave. “You are dismissed,” Evangeline said the words and still the woman remained. Wick did not move, and Evangeline was confident she could stay frozen like this until the end of time. It was childlike fears of death that had made her silent for years and those old fears still controlled her now. No one could have the understanding to empathise with Wick’s consciousness. Evangeline did not even try.

Evangeline struggled to move, her body betraying her. It took far more effort than she wished to admit as Wick began to attend to her dress and make Evangeline more presentable for Glais. “If we both just stay in here, Glais will eventually go away,” Evangeline said. She thought she saw a ghost of a smile appear on Wick’s lips but it was gone so fast that she barely believed it. It seemed far more likely that it was a trick of the light or even just her hopeful imagination.

Evangeline emerged, making as little fuss as she could at her entrance. It didn’t seem to matter because Glais was instantly looking at her and just beside him was her father. It had been so long since she had seen Barret that Evangeline had forgotten just how intimidating he was. He wasn’t as tall as Glais, but that wasn’t where he had his power. Barret was a man who looked like he could toss you around if he felt like it and perhaps he did it routinely. Evangeline smoothed down her dress and bowed to the men.

“I came to tell you that your father had arrived, as you instructed,” Glais said, his voice firm and his statement confusing.

Evangeline had not asked him for such favours and instantly she went to fight against his claims. The look on his face stilled her and Evangeline had just enough time to realise he was trying to save her from embarrassment with her father. “Thank you Glais.”

Her voice must have been lacking conviction or perhaps it was truer that her father knew his own daughter better than she gave him credit for because Barret did not believe the pathetic excuse for a moment. “You can leave us now Glais.”

Glais looked at Evangeline for some kind of hint to what he should do but it was a wasted effort. While she was not entirely sure why her father was here with her, she did not need Glais to witness the inevitable exchange. It was customary for the receiving palace to provide food and drink to the travellers. It was a long way to come and usually, her father would be quick to take on the traditional offerings. However, he still wore his travelling cloak clasped around his neck and that was enough for Evangeline to know he had come straight here. He would not do that unless Barret felt had a good reason to do it.

She wished her mother was close, Thea was always good at keeping Barret calm. Unfortunately, it appeared her mother was going the most traditional route while her father thought this was far more beneficial. Evangeline just wanted to go back to staring at her spider and contemplating his fate. Evangeline rose her hand and dismissed Glais casually with just a flick of her wrist. He didn’t like the gesture but he did not argue with her.

Instead, Glais bowed to his fiancé, and then her father. “When you are ready, send word for me and I shall escort you to the dinner hall.” Glais was trying his best to save her again, but Evangeline did not appreciate it. Evangeline wished with all she had to feel some kind of emotion to assign to Glais but all she got was nothing. Her heart did not race with love or fear, but rather barely managed to beat enough to keep her alive.

Glais left after the dismissive gesture from Evangeline, and with Wick nowhere to be seen, it meant that Barret and Evangeline were alone in the room. “Where is Mother?” Evangeline asked.

Barret looked around her rooms before he finally answered. “With Kyleigh, exploring the grounds and talking. You know how Kyleigh can be.” Barret paused, inspecting a mostly finished cross stitch that sat on the chair by the fireplace. “I want to know why you were not there to greet us.”

“I am not well.” Evangeline said the lie quickly and without thought, staying in one spot and turning slowly as she kept Barret in her sights.

“Your anxieties?” Her father asked still not really looking at her as he slowly explored the room. Had it been anyone else then Evangeline would have been offended but seeing as it was her father she did not see any way she could ask him to stop without seeming rude.

“Perhaps.” It was not her anxieties and she suspected her father knew it because he grunted at Evangeline in response to her excuses. “I should get ready for dinner.” she commented but Barret did not respond. Evangeline paused as she watched her father. She had not seen him like this before and it made her nervous. Those nerves were becoming hope, though. He wished to speak on some matter and was uncertain about how to bring it up with her. She was sure of it now.

“The wedding is set to start in three days.” Barret said and finally he came to Evangeline and she shrunk back from his steady gaze. She felt herself nodding, not sure what he was fishing for. “Have they been good to you?”

Evangeline broke, her own body unable to hold her as she crumbled. She should have hit the floor except her father had caught her quickly and wrapped his arms around her shaking body as Evangeline cried. She cried for many reasons and Barret did not ask her to explain them. Evangeline cried for her friends. While she had mourned them, it felt fresh and new as her father held her. Evangeline cried for being so selfish and desperate that she had brought them here only for them to die. She cried at her own weakness.

It all turned into hatred for Braykith. Almost all of her emotions directed at Teagan and Viviana were now tainted with the hatred for Braykith. Glais could have prevented this. Baxter could have warned her. Kyleigh and Quintus had planned their role in keeping all of this from her. They were all responsible for her friend’s death and yet there would be nothing from Braykith to help their passing move naturally.

“Please take me home.” Evangeline sobbed into her father’s chest. She did not notice how he reacted to her small request.

His shoulders squared, and his hand paused mid-stroke of her hair. “You do not mean that.” Barret said and Evangeline looked up at him, frowning.

“I do.” She wiped her eyes with her fingers, looking up at her father and hoped she could see a saviour in him.

“That is not an option.” Barret gave her a firm shake of his head.

Evangeline bit her bottom lip. “Is there no way Father?” She stepped back from him because she noticed he was no longer holding her. “Surely Quintus can see that this is not the world for me. A new deal can be struck.”

Barret grabbed Evangeline swiftly by the arm and she gasped at the grip he used against her. She tugged back but Barret held firm. “Now you listen to me, girl. You are my daughter, and I have given you to my friend.” She pulled back again and this time, he released her. Losing her footing on the long skirts Evangeline fell, but she didn’t dare look anywhere else but up at her father’s face.

Bending over her, Barret did not offer her a hand to assist her from the floor but instead pointed his finger in her face. “Crimah is not a home for you Evangeline.” Barret paused for effect so she would not confuse his words with anything but his intentions. “I suggest you give yourself to Braykith and all Quintus offers you. We are lucky he dared take a chance with you at all. You are proving his choice to be doubtful with this pathetic display. I raised you better than this Eva.”

She shivered at the anger on his face and seem to radiate from his core. Evangeline nodded since he paused and finally he did offer that hand and brought Evangeline back to her feet but the touch did not linger. Barret hardly even stopped to ensure that she had proper footing before he released her.

“You knew the expectations and you knew what we sacrificed to maintain this alliance, Eva.” Barret looked at his daughter and he felt nothing for her position. Actually, Barret had never felt paternal towards the girl because she was not his. Not in the same way that his son Darius was. In Barret’s opinion, Evangeline was a curse placed on their family, an indication of his failure as a man and a constant reminder that his wife had turned to Dryad magic to conceive Evangeline. He had been betrayed and never quite managed to get over it.

Barret felt lucky he had found a use for Evangeline. The alliance with Braykith had worked so well in their favour. He had rid his lands of the bad taste in his mouth. It had taken some convincing of his wife but ultimately Barret had sold her off to a man who could keep Crimah in a place of luxury. It had not been an easy attempt, but Barret knew it would have been impossible to go against the Zorelian army without Braykith.

Evangeline would never know the true reason why her father treated her differently to her brother. She put it down to her gender. As a female, she could not inherit the hard-won lands of Crimah. “I am sorry Father.” She went as formal as she could, bowing to him before she continued. “I know you went to great lengths to improve my station and my life. I am glad for it.” She tried to believe herself but Evangeline was not sure how well she managed to lie.

Barret’s hand cupped the back of her head and he pressed a kiss to her forehead before he backed off and headed towards the door. “Get dressed and come and see your Mother. You will want one final meal before the marriage fasting.” He told her. Before she could reply, Barret was gone. Evangeline watched the closed door and tried to think of a good way to avoid this welcoming meal and could think of nothing that would satisfy her father.

Wiping at her eyes, she called out to Wick. “It appears I am needed. Please prepare my gown.” She paused for a moment, considering her father’s words. “Make it black. I must take my father’s caution and advice. Braykith is my home now. I should try harder to embrace that.”