Extol of Agnatic Dreams (The Extol Series Book 1) (27 page)

“I know I asked.” But the answer made her feel worse than not knowing.

“The curse does come with some small perks.” He tried to move on and hoped that she would let him. He had no interest in mentioning the regular ladies he bedded. “We stop ageing once we reach optimum physical age. It seems to generally be around twenty-five years.” He explained.

“That explains why your father appears closer to your age, and easily confusable as a brother rather than who he is.” Glais nodded as Evangeline struggled with all the information she was being given. It felt too overwhelming and yet she was compelled to know everything. The smallest of details was dire for her sanity. “So he will live forever?”

“Unfortunately no. Once I produce an heir, the curse will leave my father. The missed years will quickly catch up with his now released spirit and he will age faster. Death is an ever hungry mistress and plagues this curse at every opportunity.” Evangeline agreed but she didn’t give her thoughts on the topic.

“How is our son to help the curse?” She asked.

“If we can produce a healthy male heir we hope to combat that curse by giving it a person with that much life. We are hoping that by giving the curse a Dryad, a child can be produced that has such life flowing through it, and a constant replenishing of humanity and power, that the curse will not be able to take effect.” Glais coughed I to his hand. “That was how my father explained it to me when I asked.” He honestly had not thought of the implications of a child with Evangeline before she mentioned it in the carriage.

“I am not a Dryad.” She was quick to point out.

“I have seen what you do with no purpose Evangeline. Please do not think you do not have power.” Evangeline looked down at her hands and Glais wanted to comfort her and yet she had shown enough that he doubted she would appreciate him touching her at all even if it came with the best of intentions. “I am sorry about this.” Glais tried to apologise to her again.

Evangeline nodded and drew her legs up onto the chair. She knew it was not an appropriate way to sit but considering the conversation between them, she did not think the usual rules applied to them any longer. “Glais, we must still marry.” He nodded. “And as your wife, I am obligated to performing certain duties.” He opened his mouth to speak but she silenced him with a gesture of her hand. “And I shall perform them. But right now, I cannot look at you.”

“I understand,” Glais said.

“Do you?” Evangeline tilted her head as she regarded him with eyes that could no longer focus on his face. “Do you really know what I have been going through Glais as you played your games?”

“Eva…” Glais tried to apologise, hoping to explain to her the reasons again but she again silenced him with a look.

“I arrived at your Kingdom in the middle of the night and you walk me to my rooms. It was not the most romantic of nights, yet I wear your gift still. It is an honour to be marked with something so valuable. Only a small amount of time passed between us and I believed that perhaps we would find chemistry.”

Glais ran his tongue over his top lip. “I didn’t think I would ever feel so drawn to someone as I was to you,” He spoke so softly he wasn’t sure if he had been heard by her. Clearing his throat, he spoke more. “I knew you were coming. I had studied your homeland and had spoken to Sigourney at length in a hope to find out more about you and the place you came from. I was not prepared for you, though.” He sounded pathetic to himself. Glais was embarrassed by his actions even though it was done with the best of intentions. “I only wanted to keep you safe.”

“You said you wanted me to hate you.” Evangeline reprimanded him.

Glais nodded. “I did.”

“And now?” Evangeline asked.

Glais paused. Evangeline seemed to have an eternal patience for him. He believed that she would wait for him until Glais was ready to speak. “Clearly we are a better team than we are apart. Avoiding you was a mistake.”

“It clearly was, Glais.” Evangeline took a slow breath and it seemed that Glais was still willing to allow her to lead their conversation. “I know not what the future holds but I am not very well known for forgiveness.”

Emotions clamped his throat closed and Glais felt claustrophobic. “I was rash in my decision. Impulsive and I handled this poorly.”

“I am still uncertain what you hoped to achieve.” Evangeline admitted.

“Safety. For you to never become what Wick is.” Glais was desperate for Evangeline to understand him, even when he struggled to understand himself and his selfish motivation.

Evangeline looked around them both to see if Wick was there but it seemed she had firmly decided to stay out of this conversation, which may be a good thing considering the line of questioning and the sudden inclusion of her past. “She told me that you attacked her.”

Glais’ eyes focused firmly on hers for a moment. He knew those were not Wick’s words. “I wish you would stop calling it an attack.” Glais said and pressed his back into the chair he sat on in an effort to keep his emotion under control.

“That is what it is Glais. You are attacking people. Be they willing or not, you are hurting them for your own pleasures. How do you excuse it?” Evangeline challenged him, speaking freely in the small space.

“Because I have no choice.” He stood and Evangeline closed her eyes, waiting for him to turn that anger on her but it didn’t come. She opened her eyes as he was on the other side of the room, his hands on his hips and his back to her. “Evangeline, please, believe me if this was something I could choose I would not want it.”

Evangeline looked at him, the hard line of his muscles, the way his clothing sat perfectly against his body to show off the impressive physique. His hair was pulled back into a long ponytail that hit the heart of his back. Evangeline sighed, but she couldn’t go and comfort him. She feared him.

Glais found it easier to speak now that he didn’t need to read her emotions on her face. “I did not want you to dedicate your life to the fear of death. Wick’s silence is a reminder that not everyone has the strength for this curse, and that the death it seeks comes in many forms. I lost a great friend that day, and now Wick continues to remind me that I am a terrible person. What I did to her was selfish and dangerous. She lived but it is torture.” Glais swept his hand back over his hair even though it wasn’t out of place. “I handled all of this so terribly.”

“I agree on that Glais.” She yawned and Glais turned so quickly she jumped. “I’m just tired. Emotionally this had been the worst day of my life.” On top of the attack, losing her best friends and discovering the dark bloodthirsty man she was due to marry in just a few months, it was a miracle that she was still functioning at all.

“If you are sure that is all it is.” Glais wasn’t quite completely sold on his own theory on how she lived through the curse that had claimed so many before her to ignore such an obvious sign. “I am sorry.” He said. “For everything. For how I treated you, how you came to discover the curse, and it is paramount that you believe me Evangeline that I am sorry for your friends.”

Evangeline nodded and finally unfolded her limbs from their awkward position. She stood and gestured to the door. “As am I Glais. We shall never know if this relationship could ever be more than an arrangement.”

Glais opened his mouth to protest but felt that this was an argument for them to have on another day. Clearly she had heard enough and for the first time Glais had to respect her wishes. Bowing, he let himself out.

E
vangeline stood in the library, looking out on the grounds and watching the carriages as they were loaded up with the few belongings that Teagan and Viviana had been allowed to bring with them. She would not be permitted to travel with them. Evangeline had begged and pleaded with Quintus to allow this final wish and yet he would not be swayed.

She had been denied any further information beyond the rebels would take advantage of such exposure. It was possible that Baxter had been efficient in his mission but Evangeline would never be told those details since it was not of her concern. Evangeline suspected it was more that Quintus feared she would use her friend’s death as an excuse to flee to Crimah and never return.

A tempting thought but Evangeline would not do it. She was promised to Glais and there was nothing left available to Evangeline where she would be able to fight it. If she somehow managed to return home, her parents would return her bac top Braykith. There was no freedom back home and Braykith offered her no comfort. She shivered at the very idea of her fortune in the Kingdom, but it was the fate she was assigned. To make the best of a terrible situation was all she could do now.

Evangeline rubbed her arms against the imaginary chill. Her dress was one of the thicker fabrics she could find, a dark red to honour the sombre occasion. Red was the colour worn to funerals in her hometown and while Evangeline supposed she should be embracing the heritage of Braykith she could not leave the tradition behind. She shuddered to think of her friend’s spirits listlessly looking for closure in the afterlife. It was believed by the citizens of Crimah that the colour red shone brightest and would be a light for their spirits to follow. They deserved so much more then to be wandering souls. She hoped it was enough to keep them satisfied until they were greeted by the authentic traditions of Crimah.

There as a knock on the door and Evangeline ignored it. She was sure it was Glais. He was trying to speak with her again. Several times in the past few days he would come upon her unexpectedly. Evangeline had been shocked at first but quickly she discovered that she could use his own attitudes against him. Evangeline would just deny him entrance to whatever room she was in.

It was a false power; one they were both aware of. Glais owned every room in this castle and she had not right to limit herself to his wants. The first time she had tried this and he left, she had been shocked at such a reaction from him. Whatever was behind this motivation that twisted his attitudes so Glais would obey her when she told him to leave, she didn’t question. As long as he kept following her desires, she would send him away. Evangeline had nothing to say to him.

The knock came again and this time, the door opened as guest became an intruder. Thomas stood there, opening the doors only enough to slip into the library. Evangeline looked down at her clasped hands and sighed. She barely bothered to spare him a glance. Evangeline had noticed that his flirtations had lessened since his apology. She appreciated having a friendly face available to her. However, since Teagan and Viviana had been murdered Evangeline wished for nothing more than to be left alone.

“If you have come with a message from Glais, I do not want to hear it. Please tell him I preferred his childish schemes of ignoring me for my own safety.” Evangeline understood his intentions better now but still found them small minded. He feared the curse would kill her, and evidently had the curse worked the way it should have then indeed she would be dead since the first thing she did was speak to Teagan and Viviana about it.

She had come to terms with the fact that perhaps he had good intentions, but she had a small suspicion that Glais had been acting in his own best interests. Regardless it had all come to pass, he had given her two only friends in the world death. How could she ever forgive such an act? If he had told her rationally about the curse and its inherited deliveries of deaths, she would not be dressed for a funeral.

“I come with no messages. May I enter?” he asked and Evangeline considered sending him away but all she offered was a shrug and turned back to the window. Thomas closed the door behind him and approached Evangeline, but thought better of it. Hanging back, he watched her. Not only was he admiring her lovely frame but the resolve on her face. She obviously was not happy but she would not cry. “Eva?”

Evangeline winced at the sound of her name. “Please Thomas, I wish to be alone,” She told him.

“I understand but I do not think that is a good idea.” He adjusted the flowers he held in one hand behind his back. “They are preparing Teagan and Viviana for their travel back to Crimah.”

“I am well aware of this.” Evangeline said briskly, hoping it would dismiss him but Thomas was not deterred.

“I apologise if you believe my words were taunting your experience or your heart. I know you are aware Evangeline. I am also aware that Crimah holds the colour red close to their hearts. It infiltrates their most sacred of traditions, and a funeral is just as guilty of using the colour as a wedding.” Thomas watched as Evangeline seemed to come down from her aggressive high.

He didn’t think that he was safe from her wrath but he felt that it was safe to continue to speak. “I do not know what Crimah does for a funeral, and I do apologise if this somehow offends you but while I was out scouting the roads in preparation for today, I found these for you.” He fell to one knee and presented the small bouquet of flowers to her.

They were red in colour, not uniform to each other but the shade differences were subtle. He must have found them at different points along the road. A five pointed star sprung from the head of the flower, a raised centre that bled through to a rusted golden colour. Evangeline did not believe that Thomas had so casually found them as he claimed, she would have remembered seeing such beauty but she did not want to ruin what was a considered thought.

She collected the flowers from him. “Thank you, Thomas.” He rose and bowed. Evangeline stepped past him and after a moment Thomas began to follow her. She didn’t mind, and really it felt good to know that someone was kind to her for the right reasons. For Quintus and Kyleigh, the death of Teagan and Viviana were barely mentioned. They seemed to focus more directly on how Evangeline felt of the upcoming wedding. In truth, Evangeline did not think on it fondly, and she supposed she never would.

Thomas followed her like a shadow, leaving Evangeline to direct the pace and the path she took towards the yard where the carriages were waiting. Teagan and Viviana had been placed in wooden boxes, their bodies would be cremated in Crimah after a small ceremony in respect and memory. Evangeline could not clean them, although she wished she could have. She had been banned from all things that concerned this burial and it killed her a little inside. She would carry the burden of their death for what reminded of her life.

She came upon them now, and without having to warn him, Thomas stepped forward to dismiss those who were finishing packing the back of the carriage. Evangeline didn’t even see him do it, and Thomas needed no praise. This would be the only send-off she would get for the two people she was closest to and it seemed only fitting that she be given the opportunity to do so without an audience. Evangeline was truly alone in Braykith, or so she thought, and that was indeed intimidating.

Stepping into the carriage, she stood hunched over the two wooden crates that held her friends. It brought a tear to her eye to know they lay motionless, taken far too soon from this realm and not adequately prepared for the next. The boxes were so identical that it seemed there was nothing to show that two separate people existed within those spaces. There was nothing to mark who was in which case, and it broke her heart to think of how upset Teagan would be. She always seemed to pride herself on standing out and being seen separate to Viviana and Evangeline.

She placed five flowers on one box and the other five on the next. Evangeline knelt between them, resting her hand on the hammered closed lids. She felt the wood cling to her dress and Evangeline bowed her head. She imagined the tug of the wood an extension of the girls themselves as they clung to her skirts like children. They were scared and she was afraid of them.

Eyes closing, tears clung to her lashes as she forced the image away and tried to replace it with the restful spirit of her friends, now added to the collective of souls who cared and witnessed all that happened. “Shh, my friends.” Her hands clawed, nails scraping along the rough cut wood, as she struggled to speak past the hurt. Her voice was a broken whisper; all the strength she had been using was gone in this private moment. “Do not plant yourselves to your graves.” She laid a kiss against one and then the other. She did not know which wooden shell held which friend but it did not matter. She loved them both.

“I offer you freedom from this realm.” Evangeline did not have the training of a holy man but these words were for herself. She needed to send Teagan and Viviana on a proper farewell. She would not be present to witness their true send off so she recited the funeral prayers for them privately now. “A path takes you where I dare not
follow and where you cannot hope to lead.
Take with you the love and memory of a life spent with friends and family. Take with you the knowledge that this world was yours and your footprints still mark her face. Take with you the blessing from this world to the next.”

Evangeline shook with the emotion she was feeling, but the tears slid silently as she stayed between them. “I am sorry.” She whispered and rose. She left the flowers where they were although she knew that they would fall once the horses started moving. Backing out of the carriage she was greeted by Glais. He offered her his hand and she took it because right now Evangeline needed help descending. However, she did not let her hand linger in his and quickly let go as soon as she felt stable enough to do so.

“I came looking for you and they said you were out here,” Glais explained.

“I should have been here from the beginning.” Evangeline wiped at her face and Glais gave her a handkerchief. She resisted but finally took it so as not to embarrass him. Movement around them reminded her that they were being witnessed and Evangeline had a role to play. Wiping her eyes, she started away from the carriage so final preparations could be made. Glais followed her but Evangeline did not allow it for long.

Stopping at the top of the mound she turned to face her future husband with the same stern look she had been giving him for days. She could not forgive him, or herself, and Evangeline would never dare give Glais a moment to try and sway her mind otherwise. “You have found me. Now, what do you wish to know?” She would hear him out but that did not mean she owed him an answer when he came to the end of the explanations.

Glais sighed. He supposed he deserved some of this pointed anger. However, he wished that she would learn how to not be so agitated in public. Glais did not know how to make her see reason or bring her to his way of thinking. His entire life he worried his wife would be simple minded like his mother and yet there were times when her mind was an asset. Kyleigh cared for his father. Clearly this love was not going to be achieved between Glais and Evangeline, although the Prince did hold out hope.

“I was looking to tell you that the roads to Crimah seem clear of rebel spies. Teagan and Viviana should return home safe.” Her reaction was not the one that he had been expecting. Glais had suspected this would be welcomed the news and that Evangeline would be calmed to have heard it. Instead, she sighed, wiping her face gently with the square of fabric.

“Thomas already reported to me that it was clear.” Evangeline was lying only just a little. He had said he had found the flowers while riding the roads to Crimah and scouting the path. She could only assume that if he had time to pick wild flowers for her, then the rebels had not been sighted and he had no reason to believe they would be a threat. “Thank you for repeating the report.”

She did not sound thankful and Glais spotted Thomas standing attentively nearby. He was not certain if he was watching the preparations or if indeed his focus was instead on Evangeline’s conversation. “Thomas seems to have connected to you, Evangeline.”

Evangeline looked over her shoulder where Thomas could be seen, still standing guard even though she did not ask him to. “He seemed to have decided I was worth his notice when I first arrived. I suppose that is the difference between you and him. He saw me and wished to know me more. You have never shown such interests and instead fought very hard to distance yourself from me. You can hardly blame me for finding friends where I can.”

“Evangeline, I explained that I was doing what I thought would keep you safe from what I am,” Glais whispered at her.

She stepped into him, her footstep firm and she looked up into his face. “Before all of this Glais, you never seemed to show a particular interest to me. Your letters were sterile and dull.” She accused, her voice barely above a loud whisper as if somehow that would hide the obvious truth that they were arguing.

Glais blinked at her accusation, confused for a moment before he made a reply. “What was I to write? Today I drank the blood of a girl. How is the weather?” Glais challenged her.

Evangeline was silenced for a moment by his returning anger. She had not been expecting it, and she was surprised by her own force as Evangeline continued to challenge him. “I suppose you need to be a little more creative in your letter writing. Surely you did more growing up then… that.” Evangeline still could not think of the best way to describe the way Glais fed on people but she could not label it as something common to food or drink. It was violent and an attack in all sense of the word. However, calling it for what she saw it only upset Glais.