Back in her office, her cell phone beeped with a missed call. Kyle. She’d already been on her way to his office when he’d phoned. There was another message from him on her regular voice mail, too. His voice actually made her ache inside.
So she had a little issue. He was going to let her walk out just because of that? She could stop fighting. She could . . .
Jesus H. Christ, what was she thinking? This wasn’t about her fighting him or playing games or liking to have a bit of control. This was about her
job
. She couldn’t compromise on that. She couldn’t rush over to Connor’s office and risk losing everything she’d worked for by admitting she’d been having sex with her boss.
And please, Connor, would it be okay if I kept right on fucking him?
God, she’d love to tell Kyle she was sorry, beg him to take her back, give in. She’d love to, but she couldn’t lessen the importance of her job, or of how terrified she was of screwing it all up with one wrong move, or of how she needed to control her environment.
No matter how much she wanted Kyle, she couldn’t change all those things that were fundamental to who she was.
“AS you all know”—Josie passed a glance around the conference room—“Ronson left the company today.”
She was amazing, in Kyle’s opinion: calm, cool manager all the way. You’d never know she’d dusted him off her hands not fifteen minutes ago.
“It puts us in a bit of a bind,” she went on, “with Bertrice being new as well.” She smiled for the latest addition to her entourage. “But we can handle it. I’ve already filled out a personnel requisition, which I’m sure Kyle will sign.” She flicked the paper with her fingernail, sending it flying down the conference table to him at the other end. Then she smiled.
Sonuvabitch. Not a hair out of place, not a wrinkle on her brow nor a concern in the world. Just business as usual.
“Kyle and I were just in his office discussing how to divvy up Ronson’s projects”—she didn’t even bat an eyelash at the lie—“but don’t worry, I’m going to be taking what I can until we’ve got Bertrice up to speed and another program manager hired. Luckily we’ve already been through the process, and I think there might be a couple of candidates amongst those I’ve interviewed.”
He almost hated her. She wasn’t high maintenance; she was fucking cold as an iceberg and just as hard.
He’d never meant anything more to her than any of her other fuck buddies.
She didn’t give an inch, didn’t bend a rule, especially the one about not fucking the boss. The price of being with him wasn’t worth considering any other option.
Just like his ex-wife, where the baby was the all-important thing, no compromise, wouldn’t even talk about adoption. She’d listened to everything the MAGS said and ignored what he’d wanted. Then
bam
, for husband number two, she was suddenly willing to consider all the other options. It had been years. He was no longer bitter. He was simply angry that Josie was of the same ilk.
They could have worked it out, but she was too damn scared to even try. Easier to cut and run. Now he had to see her every damn day and know he’d never get to touch her again.
Fuck, he wanted to touch her. Badly.
She leaned forward to address the speakerphone. Kyle could see down the unbuttoned lapel of her blouse. “Chuck,” she said, “how are you coming on finishing up there?”
Chuck was . . . somewhere. Kyle realized he should care. This was his job, and like Josie, he needed to separate business from personal, yet he hadn’t said a word since entering the meeting. Nothing to add whatsoever.
He needed to get his head out of his ass.
Plucking his pen from his shirt pocket, he signed the personnel requisition and sent it shooting back down the table to her. She was done. He needed to be done, too.
He just wasn’t sure how, because she’d somehow managed to worm her way deep inside him, and he’d have to damn near cut his heart out to get rid of her.
20
KYLE hadn’t said a word in the meeting, not one. He’d simply signed the requisition and flicked it back at her.
Josie had to stop thinking about him.
“Lydia,” she called over her shoulder as she passed the girl’s cubicle, “I want to talk to you.”
Ronson was taken care of, even if Josie hadn’t accomplished that. Now it was Lydia’s turn. She was going to help that girl whether Lydia thought she needed it or not.
Lydia followed on Josie’s heels. “Is this another closed door meeting? Because I haven’t been late for over a week.”
“Yes, this is a closed door meeting, and no, it’s not about being late.”
The door secured, Lydia flopped down in the chair, then rolled her eyes. “I haven’t pinched anyone’s butt, either. Well, not a male butt, at any rate.”
“You shouldn’t be pinching
anyone’s
butt, male or female.” Josie shot a puff of air out her nostrils. “No pinching period, got that?”
Lydia saluted. “Yes, ma’am.” Then leaned forward in the chair, her eyes suddenly wide with an avid light. “Wasn’t that a shocker about Andrew? Just to up and quit like that, no notice, nothing. His wife is going to squeal like a stuck pig.”
“I’m sure he and his wife discussed it before he did it.” Only what could Ronson possibly have told her? “My boss’s boss saw me at a sex club?” Oh no, no, no. “That isn’t why I called you in here.”
“Oh God”—she rolled her eyes again—“what have I done
now
?”
Ernie was so right. Lydia was a drama queen. Still, Josie was going to try to give her the comforting shoulder Ernie thought she needed. “Nothing. I wanted to know how things were going with”—Josie shrugged—“you know, everything. To make sure you’re okay.”
Lydia cocked her head as if she were pondering the mysteries of life. Then something flickered in her eyes, and she brushed her long, dark hair over her shoulder. “Everything is fine.”
Josie felt like burying her face in her hands and giving in to a few tears. It had been such a damn long day, and it wasn’t even ten in the morning. She still had to meet with Kyle on how to reassign Ronson’s projects. How was she supposed to do that when he’d smell so good, she’d lose all her concentration? Or blurt out that she hadn’t meant a word of it, and
please, please, take me back
.
Now Lydia was actually going to make her
say
it. The day couldn’t get worse. “I was referring to the baby and what you decided to do. I want you to know I’m here for you.”
Lydia’s jaw dropped. Then she seemed to collect herself. “Oh. The baby. Yeah. Well.” She cleared her throat. “That’s all taken care of.”
“Taken care of?” What the hell did that mean? “You, um, had the abortion?” But when? Did they do those things on the weekend? Because Lydia had been at work every day. At least Josie
thought
she’d been here on Thursday and Friday.
“Well, no.” Lydia studied her fingernails. “What I mean is I found out I wasn’t pregnant at all.”
What? “But you peed on the stick.” Awe and disbelief trickled through her voice.
Lydia huffed. “I read it wrong.”
“Didn’t you do it a second time?”
“Not right then.” Lydia flicked her hair over her shoulder. Was that a nervous gesture? “But then I started my period over the weekend, so it was all just a big mistake.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She’d worried herself sick about how to help Lydia. She’d even told Ernie, for God’s sake.
“You were gone to the supervisor’s training.” Lydia pursed her lips. “It wasn’t like I was going to leave you a message on your voice mail.”
“But you just said you started over the weekend. You could have told me when you first walked in this morning.” Why was it pissing her off so much? Because of Kyle, and with her jumbled emotions, this was the last straw?
“Why are you making such a big deal?”
Josie resisted the urge to massage her temples. She wanted to do what Ernie suggested, figure out what Lydia needed, then give it to her, but she so sucked at pampering. “I’m trying to figure out why you’re mixing your story up.”
Good, Josie, when you look bad, throw it back at the other person.
Just as she did with Kyle. Everything was his fault, not hers.
“Are you calling me a liar?” Tears welled in Lydia’s eyes.
“No, I’m . . .” Now wait a minute. Something about Lydia’s story
did
stink. The timing was all wrong. “Lydia.” She waited until Lydia lifted her eyes. Were those tears real? “
Are
you lying?”
She opened her mouth, closed it. Hemmed, hawed, and finally, “Well, I
could
have been pregnant. I just didn’t pee on the stick.”
Josie felt her blood pressure rise. “So why did you tell me you had done the test?”
“Because . . .” Lydia shrugged. “You were ragging on me about something, and I just thought if you had something else to think about . . .” She trailed off.
“I was
talking
to you about your tardiness, and you made up a story to cover why were you late.” She paused. “For work, I mean.”
“Yes, but you were always picking on stuff, like when you didn’t think I should have a raise.” She sniffed. “And that whole thing with Chuck, which was really just in fun, and he didn’t mind it at all until he saw me pinch Ryan over in Quality”—oh God, not another one!—“and realized that it didn’t
mean
anything.” Lydia dabbed her eyes.
Good God, the girl was the best actress Josie had ever seen, better than any on the silver screen. She’d been totally taken in.
Yet Josie felt something snap inside her. “How could you do that to me?”
For the first time, Lydia saw her own danger. She stopped dabbing and sniffing. “It was a little lie.”
“A
little
lie?” Her blood roared past her eardrums. “Do you even realize how I felt having to admit that I’d get an abortion? Why would you even
ask
me that when it couldn’t have meant
anything
to you?” She’d bared her soul, and for a moment she’d had to face the very nature of evil inside herself.
“I was curious,” Lydia said, her voice very small. “You’re always so together and perfect and on top of things. I wondered what you’d do.”
“So now you know I’d be a murderer.” It hurt even thinking it.
Lydia shook her head slowly. “No.” She swallowed. “Now I know you’re human, and you’d feel just as bad as I would, and I like you better.” She smiled, a very small, almost frightened smile. “You’re kinda special, I think.”
A wave of heat washed down Josie’s body, leaving her light-headed. “I was never special”—it was less than a whisper, then she gathered herself—“and you’re trying to schmooze me.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Lydia said. “I just felt you seemed nicer to be around knowing you were human and all.” She sniffed. “I’m really sorry.” The sheen in her eyes seemed almost . . . real.
Lydia was young and silly, but maybe she had something right. You didn’t have to be perfect to be special. Is that what Ernie had been trying to tell Josie with completely different words?
It suddenly seemed cruel and mean not to accept Lydia’s apology. “Yeah, well, it’s okay.” Opening the bottom desk drawer, she pulled out the box of tissues. “You had Ernie completely snowed, too, didn’t you?”
Lydia grimaced. “He never kept on at me the way you did, though. I’d tell him something, he’d let me cry, then he’d just forget all about it.”
Her extreme emotion about what Lydia had done was subsiding, yet Josie wasn’t about to forget the lie. It wasn’t personal, it was business, and Lydia needed to learn that. “You know, if your work sucked and I hadn’t already lost Ronson today, I’d fire you right this minute for lying to me.” She paused, letting the idea sink deep. “And if you pull any shit like this again, you are out on your ass. This is your one and only warning, and it’s not going to be written in your file.” She narrowed her eyes, stared Lydia down. “You just know that’s how it’s going to be.”
Lydia nodded, twisting the tissues. “I’m sorry.”
“And no pinching your coworker’s ass. And God only knows what else, Lydia. You
lied
to your boss.” She let that sink in a moment. “Don’t
ever
lie to your boss. See, that’s the problem. Now I can’t trust anything you say.” She shook her head.
This
was what Lydia needed, a lesson in what was acceptable and what wasn’t. Ernie was sweet, but he’d been enabling the girl. “You’re smart,” she went on, “so I don’t know why you thought you had to get by with lying all the time.”
Lydia shrugged and raised her eyebrows. “I don’t know. Ernie made it easy.”
She felt a momentary blip of extreme anger. “Don’t you
ever
blame anything on Ernie.” She blew a breath between her lips and calmed down again. “Lying is
your
fault.”
Lydia’s face colored as she realized she’d taken Ernie’s name in vain. “You’re right.”
“You better watch your own butt now.” Josie reached across the desk, plucked up the tissue box, and threw it in the trash. “No more crying wolf.”
Lydia stood. “I won’t do it again.”
“Yeah. Right.” Josie snorted.
“I mean that. I really appreciate that you’re not firing me.”
Josie hoped she wasn’t making a mistake. She flapped her hand, turned to the computer, and Lydia headed to the door.
“Wait,” she said just as Lydia opened it. “Was it true about your brother’s best friend?”
Lydia grimaced. “Well, his wife
is
a total bitch, but he’d never do anything with me. I’m waiting for him to see the light and divorce her before I tell him how I feel.”
God. Lydia was so young. Hopefully, having been caught in her lies would help straighten her out.
“SO we have Nancy Fairburn starting next Monday.” Josie sounded so damn pleased to announce the new addition to her people in the Monday meeting. In the three weeks since Andrew quit, they’d all pulled together and gotten through. According to Josie, even Lydia and Chuck stopped sniping. Bertrice was golden—Josie’s word again, but Kyle agreed.