Fall On Me (22 page)

"No," she sniffed as she threw herself back
on the bed and curled into a tiny ball.

"Lee," I coaxed as I shook her shoulder
gently. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Everything," she whispered.

"Tell me what's wrong and I'll fix it."
Pulling on her shoulder, I pushed her gently onto her back and
brushed her hair off her face. She closed her eyes in an obvious
attempt at blocking me out. I sighed heavily. "Lee, I can't help
you if I don't know what's wrong. Talk to me, princess."

"I heard you talking to her," she hissed,
eyes still closed, her whole body tense. "I don't want you to talk
to her, Kyle."

"Lee…" I let my voice trail off as I tried to
think up something to say that wouldn’t result in a battle. Lee had
issues with her mom and I got that. I understood her reasons for
wanting to keep Tracy at arm's length. But I also understood why
Tracy had left Lee as a baby. Why she ran away and left her three
month old daughter in the hands of an abusive fucking bully.

I wasn't happy about it and by no means did I
agree with her actions, but I'd heard her side of the story. The
man had made her life a living hell. Lee's dad had broken more than
just bones in her mom's body…he'd crushed her spirt and ruined her
life. She lost more than her baby daughter the day she escaped
Louisiana. She lost her identity, her friends and everything she'd
ever known. Tracy Gibbons had spent the last nineteen years locked
away in a cottage, with only her flowers and potpourri for company,
while living in a constant state of terror, fearing that at any
moment that bastard would show up and drag her back to
Montgomery…

God, I felt so fucking sorry for the woman. I
couldn’t turn my back on her, no matter how mad it made Lee. I owed
the woman. I owed her everything I had. During the darkest hours of
my life, Lee's mother had stepped in and saved my girl and I'd made
her a promise to protect her from her husband. I didn’t make
promises easily and this was one I wasn’t prepared to break. Lee
was going to have to deal with it. She needed to see that she was
putting a lifetime of blame on the wrong parent. She needed to hate
her father. Her mother was as much as a victim to Jimmy Bennett's
abuse as she was.

"I don't wanna fight with you about this,
princess," I said quietly. "But I won't back down either. She saved
your life. We owe her."

"You never back down," she mumbled as she
turned onto her side. "That's the problem."

****

Chapter
12

Letters from a jail
bird

Derek

I lived in a world that made no sense. Colors
and light. People and places. All of it meant nothing to me
anymore. The world was a cruel and torturous place. I wanted
out.

"Derek, will you do this for me?" Kyle asked
me and I wanted to puke. It was easy for him. He hadn't lost what I
had. He didn't sleep with his regrets. He slept in a warm bed with
his woman in his arms. He didn't live with his ghosts because his
world was still breathing.

My life was a warped and cruel fucking
existence and I was sick to death of pretending, of carrying on. I
didn't see the point and I didn't want to. It meant nothing to me.
Clothes, food, work, breathing, it all meant nothing. I hadn't
realized the only thing that had ever meant anything to me was
dead. I hadn't fucking realized and I hadn't told her. Jesus.

"I don't know, Kyle," I told him as I held
the phone to my ear. "Seems kinda pointless." I could hear him
growl and knew he was close to losing that infamous temper of his.
It actually made me smile.

"That's bullshit," he growled before adding
in a much softer tone, "It's good to talk about your feelings."

Ha. "You're something else," I chuckled.
"Telling me it's good to talk about feelings. When have you ever
talked about your feelings, asshole?"

"Whatever, douchebag," he retorted and I
could tell he was smiling. "Just think about it, okay? Lee said
that Dr. Roberts really helped her when she was in hospital. I
figured she might be good for you too. For all of us."

"Kyle, are you suggesting we take couples
counselling? Because I gotta tell you, dude, I don't think we're
there
yet." I used sarcasm as a self-preservation tactic for
when shit got too heavy. Like now for example…

"Yeah," Kyle snapped. "Well, if you don't get
a handle on this I might just divorce your ugly ass. Think about
Dr. Roberts. I'll text you her phone number. Make an
appointment."

"Does your fiancée know about us?"

"Ha fucking ha, dude. I gotta go. I'm heading
over to see Kelsie. I'll come by after."

"Whatever." Hanging up, I tossed my phone on
the bed and resumed my numbness. If Kyle would just fuck off and
leave me to rot I would be dead by now. I didn't know whether to
thank him or resent him.

****

Lee

"I'll only be an hour. Two at the very most,"
Kyle muttered as I watched him make the worst tie knot I'd ever
seen. If I could have helped him I would, but fancy suits weren't
something I'd ever come into contact with before him. Kyle looked
beautiful in everything he wore, but when he wore tailored black
pants, a crisp white shirt and vest I struggled to keep my
concentration.

"We'll be fine here," I said in a thick tone
of voice. I knew where Kyle was going and it wasn't downstairs to
work. He was going to our attorney's office to see if there was any
new development with the case. He did this every week and every
week I either refused to go or pretended not to know where he was
going. Ignorance was bliss. She was locked up and we were safe.
For now
. I didn't want to hear about her latest request for
Kyle to visit her, or how her
treatment
was going. I knew
she was writing to him. He tried to hide the letters from me, but I
wasn't blind and I had never expected her to go away easily. A
mental health facility hadn't stopped her from pursuing him. I just
prayed that a jail cell could…

Last month we'd found out that Rachel's trial
had been pushed forward to April. It was due to the hype and
speculation surrounding the case. That was the only positive thing
about having our lives ripped apart by the media. At least she
would be locked away much quicker than we'd anticipated.

I'd spent the first month after waking up
from my coma being questioned and giving evidence. During some of
that time I'd felt like I was being groomed, but mostly I'd just
felt like I was being judged. Everyone wanted to know why Rachel
did it and since she wasn't telling anyone the bucket had fallen at
my feet. No one ever seemed to be satisfied with my answer,
probably because I knew why she did it as much as they did.

"Come on, Miss Bennett,"
I'd been
asked by several exasperated officials.
"There has to be
something. Some incident or altercation you're forgetting that
could have provoked Ms. Grayson. It makes no sense."
That was
about the only thing they'd said that I agreed with. It made no
sense. None of it.

Kyle, who had demanded to be with me when I
was being questioned, had lost his cool on more than one occasion.
I think it upset him more than me. He got truly distressed whenever
anybody suggested I did something to provoke Rachel. Whenever an
officer or a suit had insinuated such a thing Kyle had reminded me
of wild animal being backed into a corner and getting ready to
fight.
All snarls and growls.

I tried to put on a brave face for him, but I
was terrified. The prosecution team had warned me that I would be
portrayed as the other woman. I'd been forewarned that I
would
hear a lot of ugly things about myself. According to
Kyle's lawyer, Kelsie Mayfield, Rachel's lawyers were leaning
heavily on the defense that I was a home wrecker who had broken up
a two year relationship between a couple who had intended to marry.
I'd taken her fiancé and future away from her and in a temporary
moment of madness she'd snapped. I felt physically sick every time
I thought about how I would have to stand in a courtroom in a few
short months and tell the world what I didn't want to remember. I
would be judged and ridiculed and have to face that woman again.
The thought of seeing her face again caused my blood pressure to
rise and my body to break out in a cold sweat…

Content with his haphazard tie knot, Kyle
dropped his hands to rest on his hips and frowned at me. "Maybe you
should come with me?"

"Kyle, we will be fine here. I promise," I
said with a forced smile as I bounced Hope on my lap. I'd been
shocked to the core when he agreed to let me stay on my own today.
Things had been frosty between us since Wednesday night and I
wished to god that we could just agree to disagree on my mother.
No. Actually, I wished he would agree with me for once in our
lives… "What trouble could we possibly get into?" I added in my
lame attempt at making a joke. I wasn’t feeling it though, and
neither was he by the look of apprehension on his face.

"That's what I'm worried about," he grumbled.
Walking over to me, he lifted Hope off my lap. "You're in charge,
baby girl," he crooned as he lifted her over his head and made
airplane noises. Hope grinned madly, splaying her little hands and
legs out in excitement. Bringing her back down to rest on his
chest, he kissed her cheek before casting a smirking glance at me.
"Daddy's counting on you to keep mommy in hand." I just rolled my
eyes at him. I wasn't good with quick retorts. Usually I either
made no sense or just made a fool of myself. "Stay inside,
princess," he said in a stern voice as he sat Hope in her bouncer.
"Do not, for one minute, go outside those gates until I'm back. Are
we clear?"

"Crystal," I muttered as I looked away,
purposely avoiding eye contact with him. I hated when he spoke to
me like this. Whenever Kyle talked down to me I tried to remember
what Derek had told me
. "His intentions are good. It's his
execution he needs to work on."
Kyle was paranoid that someone
was going to run off with me. And all I wanted to tell him was
before him no one had wanted me so the likelihood of being
kidnapped was slim.

Kyle saw me through some strange dysmorphic
lens. I was no Scarlett O Hara. I had severe scarring on pretty
much every slither of my skin from my thighs to my breasts. Front
and
back. I'd lost a lot of weight when I was in hospital,
and weighed less now than when we'd first met, but my skin felt
loose. That's a weird explanation for it, but that's how it felt. I
hadn't toned up since I gave birth. I just kind of wobbled…

"Do you remember how to work the alarm
system?" he asked as he slid his laptop into his messenger bag,
frowning when several pieces of paper–and another
letter
–fell out and scattered around our bedroom floor. "You
remember the access codes?" he asked as he bent to pick up the
papers.

"Yes," I nodded eagerly and a little flushed.
Truth was I didn’t remember a word of what Kyle had said to me
yesterday when he stood me in front of the complicated array of
buttons and touchscreens in our hallway, and he had proceeded to
ramble on for fifteen minutes about this switch and that code. Hope
had managed to stick her foot in her mouth around the same time and
my attention had been on how cute she looked as she rolled around
on the play mat, battling her chubby little leg into
submission.

"Do not open those gates for anyone," he
ordered in a stern voice.

"What if it's someone important…?" I started
to protest, but the weight of Kyle's disapproving glare caused me
to shut my mouth quickly. A ball of nerves settled in my stomach as
I watched him prowl towards me, tension emanating from every pore
in his body.

"I don't give a shit if the pope, the queen
of England and the goddamn Easter bunny all swing by. You do not
open those gates to anyone. You got it?"

"I got it," I muttered in a petulant tone,
biting down hard on the inside of my cheek in anger. I felt his
thumb stroke my cheek and I clenched my eyes shut.

"Don't be mad at me for needing to keep you
safe," he whispered into my ear before brushing my lips with his.
"I love you."

I caved.

Totally and completely caved.

Whatever spark of anger I was feeling over
his bossiness, and his phone call with my mother, disintegrated the
moment he whispered those words. My heart swelled to the point
where I was nervous it would burst whenever he told me loved me.
I'd waited almost a year to hear him say it and relished every time
since. "I love you too," I breathed as I wrapped my arms around his
neck and dragged him down to me. Losing his balance, he fell
forward causing me to land on the flat of my back on our bed with
him resting on his elbows above me.

"Just do this for me, Lee," he murmured as he
pushed my hair back and cupped my face in his hands. "It's not for
ever. Just until the trial is over. I need you out of trouble. It
keeps my mind at ease."

"Is there something you're not telling me,
Kyle?" I asked softly as I looked up at his face. I worried about
his intentions. He was always trying to shelter me and it was hard
to know whether there was a serious concern or if he was just being
paranoid. "Should I be afraid?"

"No, I'm just being cautious." Kissing me
softly, he rubbed my nose with his before smiling. "You know you
could ease my mind in another way if you actually did what you
agreed to do…" He kissed me again before pulling back to look at
me. "I don't wanna wait anymore, princess."

"Go to work," I grinned as I stared up at his
playful expression. I knew what he was doing and it wasn't going to
work. I also knew that we needed to resolve our issues before we
stepped foot near a church. "We have an agreement."