Falling to Pieces (4 page)

Wash and dry time had stolen another hour-and-a-half of my evening, and by the time I got home I was completely wiped. Depositing the violated chemistry text on the kitchen table, I shuffled down the hall and collapsed into bed.

Screw grades. What good were they anyway?

Four

Kiernan’s mood swings were starting to give me whiplash. The next morning, he was all smiles again in chemistry. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it and, honestly, I had bigger things to worry about than Kiernan Parks. Like the exams being handed out by Mr.
Walkins. Last night my great boycott of all things academic had sounded like a brilliant idea. Now? Not so much.

I watched the papers flutter hand over hand as they were passed down the rows, one desk to the next, like a tidal wave of doom. When I turned in my seat to pass it to the person behind me, I risked another peek at Kiernan. He was still watching me.
His dimples came out to play, catching me looking, and I turned around in my chair so fast I was half surprised I didn’t fall right out.

For the next hour, I
stared at the paper in front of me as though it were written in Latin. Because, as far as I was concerned, it may as well have been. There were numbers, symbols, and equations all over the place. All of which added up to exactly zero sense. With a sigh I scanned the page, front and back, for anything that looked even vaguely familiar. A few things popped out and I went from there, making the best guesses I could and praying like hell that there would be partial credit awarded.

When the bell rang, I was still glued to my seat, trying desperately to eke out something that resembled a possibly coherent answer to the dreaded essay question.
Who gives essay questions in chemistry?

“Pencils down.”

Just. One. More. Minute.
The class started pouring out around me, as I continued to scribble furiously. Papers stacked one on top of the next as they filed past the teacher’s desk.

“Pencils down, Jade.” Mr.
Walkins stood at the front of the room scowling in my direction.

Him
, Kiernan, and I were the only three left in the room. Kiernan stood by the door watching me jot down the end of my sentence and throw in the towel with a sigh. So much for my brilliant academic career. Sometimes I really was stupid.

By the time I’d collected my books and turned in the exam, Kiernan was gone and I was glad. I really didn’t feel like talking about it.

“Where the hell have you been?” Doug stood, arms folded across his chest, glaring at me from the middle of the crowded hallway.

“Sorry, Doug. I had to finish up an exam.”

He huffed and rolled his eyes. “Write a little faster next time. Now I’m gonna be late.”

At least I could count on Doug not to ask the dreaded, ‘How do you think you did?’

“You didn’t have to wait for me.”

“Of course I didn’t.” Pushing his way against the flow of bodies, Doug started toward the back stairwell and I struggled to keep up.

Of course he didn’t have to wait for me. What a dumb thing to say. If I hadn’t been standing in a crowded public place I would have smacked myself. He was Doug Summers, captain of the football team, student council member, and gorgeous to boot. The one and only blemish on his entire high school career was me, and still he tolerated my presence. So, no, he definitely did not
have
to wait for anyone, especially loser extraordinaire, Jade Carlson.

“We have our first practice after school today. You’re staying to watch.” He hustled up the stairs two at a time, leaving me behind to try to juggle my books and keep up at the same time.

I suppressed a groan. If there was one thing I hated more than chemistry, it was football. “Doug, I can’t miss the bus. You know how far I live. If I—”

“Quit whining. Jesus. I’ll give
you a damn ride.”

“Oh.” Duh, dimwit. Doug wouldn’t ask—
tell
—me to stay after if he hadn’t already figured out the ride situation. He wasn’t an idiot like some people. “Okay.”

“Meet me in the gym at three. I want to hear you cheering for me.”

I wasn’t much for cheering, especially at a routine practice, but I knew what Doug expected from me. “Okay.”

“Is that the only word you know how to say?” The late bell cut through whatever he had coming next and he shot me one last scathing
glare before slipping into his class. The one on the opposite of the building from mine.
Perfect.

***

Debate wasn’t exactly one of my specialties. I generally avoided confrontation at all costs, but I did somehow manage to sweet-talk my way out of a detention for showing up late to English comp. Don’t ask me how, but thank goodness. I’d have hated to see Doug’s face if I had to tell him I couldn’t make it to practice.

They’d already taken the field by the time I arrive
d as it was. He was out there—number seventeen—running, blocking, tackling . . . I don’t really know, but he looked good doing it. I didn’t know much about football, really. Only what Doug told me. Like the fact that the team went nearly undefeated last season and that he was hands-down their best player. For once, it wasn’t all ego talking. He really was the best. Everyone knew that, including the college scouts that had turned out to watch him play as early as his junior year.

One was currently situated on the bleachers just to watch him practice. They didn’t go out of their way to advertise their presence, but he was kind of hard to miss with myself and a gaggle of
cheerleaders being the only other people in attendance. The scout didn’t need my shouting to direct his attention to Doug. It barely left him as he scribble furiously in a notebook balanced on his lap. Undoubtedly, the scholarship offers would start coming in soon.

I was happy for him. And, admittedly, maybe a little jealous that he’d found something he was talented at. I’d tried everything from music to art, and found my skills to be . . . lacking. There was really only one thing I was any good at—at least I enjoyed doing it, anyway—but I wasn’t about to share it with anyone else the way Doug could. Taking pride in his abilities. I was nowhere near as confident in my own. So, no, they stayed tucked away where only I could see them.

His head twisted in my direction every time he jogged by, shoulder pads bouncing. To make sure I was still there, I assume, though I don’t know where he thought I was going to go without him. By the time practice was over, dark clouds had rolled in, blotting out the sun. I was chilled to the bone and more than ready to get out of there.

Judging by the way the guys were hooting
, and hollering, and jumping into each other as they headed for the showers, I assumed practice had gone well. I was glad because it meant Doug would be in a good mood for the drive home. It usually annoyed him to no end to have to go out of his way to drop me off.

Rubbing my arms against the growing chill in the air
, I trailed behind the crowd back inside the building. Giant red and black birds were painted on every wall, poised to peck the eyes out of any who dared to challenge them. Who knew birds could be so intimidating? The huge banners strung from the roof declaring the Craterview Cardinals the ‘Section II Class B Champs’ for several years throughout the school’s history, going back as far as 1976, proved it was true. The ‘State Champs’ banner had fewer years denoted, two of which were the past two consecutive years since Doug took over as team captain.

Last year they’d made it to the National Championship, but lost. Doug swore up and down that it was bad
reffing that cost them the game. I wasn’t there, so I didn’t know. Something Doug was livid about for months after the fact. A
supportive girlfriend
would have found a way to be there, even if it was out of state.

Doug’s
exit from the locker room was hard to miss, marked by a noticeable increase in preening from the cheer squad. Suddenly bottle blonde hair was flipping in every direction, eyelashes batting like they may take flight. It was almost laughable, really. His eyes came to me first—noting my continuing presence—before swinging in their direction. I lingered along the side of the bleachers, trying my best to go unnoticed, while he checked in with the Doug Summers fan club. With past knowledge of exactly how long that could take, I settled down for the wait.

Trailing the toe of my sneaker over the boundary line of the basketball court, I contemplated getting started on my homework. There was no guarantee I’d be getting home
any time soon and I really didn’t want to be up all night working on it, but Doug wouldn’t appreciate that. It was bad enough I wasn’t one of those pretty, popular girls by his side. I didn’t need to make his girlfriend out to be a bigger dork than I already was.

Instead, I pulled out my phone. Even that was embarrassing—a relic with no internet, or games, or apps, or anything—but no one had to know that. And holding a cellphone in your hand
gave you a good excuse to sit alone without looking like a loser. Smiling at the blank screen, I pretended to press some buttons just in case anyone was watching. Pathetic, I know.

“You ready to go or what?” Impatient as ever, Doug stood tapping his foot as I scooped up m
y books from the bench. “You know, they have these things called backpacks.”

So, I’d heard. “I’m ready to—”

The locker room door burst open, and Jeff and a bunch of other guys from the team poured out.

“Hey, Doug!” They congregated around their fearless leader, and I did my best to shrink into the background. Not easily accomplished with Doug’s arm wrapped around my waist holding me firmly in place at his side. Jeff slapped him on the back and offered me a polite, mandatory smile. “I’ve got a party
goin’ on at my place tonight, you down? You should come, too, Jade.”

I
was invited? I’d never been invited to one of Doug’s friend’s parties. Hell, I’d never been invited to one of
Doug’s
parties. And there was a reason for that . . .

“Jade? At a party? In public? Have you seen her social skills?” Doug’s taunting was met with a
round of laughter and I bit my cheek to keep from opening my mouth and embarrassing myself further. “Now her private skills . . .”

My cheeks lit up like the Fourth of July and I damn near died on the spot. Doug and I had never been farther than second base, but his friends would never believe it from the way his vivid imagination worked. I
t wasn’t the first time I’d overheard him implying more, and I was certain that wasn’t the worst of it, but it was the first time he’d done it right there in front of me like that.

I could feel the weight of everyone’s eyes on me, wait
ing for some kind of reaction. Not that I had any clue what that reaction should be, other than utter humiliation. My jaw clamped shut and my gaze dropped to the floor. Hearing their snickers was bad enough. I didn’t need to see the smirks and crude looks that went along with them.

Who was I to complain, though? High school was a shark pit and being with Doug was the only thing keeping me afloat. I knew his rep must have taken a hit for it—he told me often enough. So what if he wanted to recoup a little of that by making up stories? Even if they made me want to dig a hole in the gym floor and bury myself alive.

“Her
personal
skills more than make up for—”

“Hey!” Jeff stepped aside to reveal a livid Kiernan. “That’s your
girlfriend
you’re talking about.”

“Yeah.”
Doug stuffed his hands in his pockets and puffed out his chest. “So?”

“Why don’t you try showing a little respect?” Kiernan’s eyes never left Doug and they were hard as steel.

“Respect?” The way Doug rolled the word around his mouth, it was like he’d never heard it before. Nothing in my experiences with him proved otherwise. “What’s it to you?”

“What it is
to me is a display of just what an asshole you are.”

It looked as though Kiernan had knocked all the wind from Doug’s sails without even touching him, and I saw that crease form between his brows. The one that meant he was well and truly pissed.

“I don’t have to listen to this shit! Come on, Jade. Let’s go.” For the first time, I hesitated to do as Doug commanded. Something he definitely did not appreciate. “
Now!
”

Kiernan’s eyes came to me for the first time and immediately softened. “You don’t have to go with him, Jade.”

“Jade!” Doug was already at the doors and that crease was deepening. “Move your ass!”

“I’m sorry.” I’m not even sure what the whispered apology was for. After all, Kiernan was the one who stirred up all the trouble in the first place. But
guilt gnawed at my gut leaving him looking at me like that.

Shoulders hunched up around my ears, I trotted over to where Doug waited. He shoved outside, not bothering to hold the door for me and I had to catch it on the back
swing. By the time I’d wrestled my way through the heavy metal contraption they had the nerve to call an ‘emergency exit’, he was almost to his car.

“Who the hell was that? And what’s his deal with you?” Doug slammed his hand down on the hood of his car. Not hard enough to dent—that car was his pride and joy—but hard enough to
make me flinch.

“N-nothing. That was Kiernan Parks. He’s in my chemistry class.”

“He’s in your chemistry class?”