Fated Memories (7 page)

Jessie’s vibrant laughter, which had never failed to bring a smile to Charlotte’s face, echoed now with such sweet clarity that she felt if she could only reach a little further to the back of her mind, she could bring it all the way out, so everyone would know the girl lying so still and cold in the small casket couldn’t be her Jessie. They would see that someone filled with so much life couldn’t have that life stilled forever.

She heard someone crying…heard their pain, but it had nothing to do with her, because this all had to be a terrible dream. She just had to wake up, go downstairs, and there would be Jessie, just like always, filling the house with chatter and planning what she would do with her day.

No, she didn’t linger in a dream, but a living nightmare she couldn’t hope to wake from. Unable to watch her child being lowered into the ground, she turned, leaning on the strong arm of her brother-in-law, thanking him with a pat of her hand as he led her away from Jessie’s grave.

In the carriage, Charlotte reached for the small bundle in Martha’s arms. Holding the baby to her shoulder, she allowed herself the luxury of letting the tears to flow. Tia remained still, almost as if she knew how much Charlotte needed her.

Martha reached for the child, and then dropped her hands back in her lap as John shook his head in silent admonishment. In her frustration, Martha stared out the window, trying to ignore the quiet weeping of a broken heart.

The many carriages of well-wishers lined the long lane leading up to the estate. Upon seeing them, Charlotte dried her swollen eyes then pulled a long, black veil down over her face.

“
I’ll try to get rid of them as soon as possible,” John told her.

“
No, John,” Charlotte placed a hand on his arm, “it’s all right. They’re your friends. They’ve come to pay their respects. I think it’s very thoughtful of them.”

“
I wouldn’t consider all of them friends.” Martha took John’s hand to step from the carriage. “Quite the contrary, really. Since John is the best attorney in Boston,” she lifted the long see-through veil up and over her hat, “I think they come to functions like this to stay on his good-side.”

“
I rather doubt that, Martha.” John closed his eyes for a brief moment at her cold indifference. “Not everyone has an ulterior motive.”

Charlotte gave John’s arm a light squeeze and then turned, making her way up the walk with Tia held against her shoulder. At the door, Martha could contain herself no longer.

“
Charlotte, I think I should take the baby now. She’s tired and all these people are going to frighten her. I’ll go put her down for her nap.” She lifted the child from her sister’s arms.

“
Of course, Martha. Whatever you think is best.”

“
Let’s go into the den, Charlotte. It will be quieter there.” John ushered her through the throng of people reaching out to take her hand.

Seated in one of the leather chairs pulled up near the fire, Charlotte took off her long-veiled hat to lay it aside. “I always hated these things.” She blew out a long breath. “They make me feel closed in.”

After handing her a glass of brandy, John slumped down in the chair across from her. “God, I’m glad that’s over,” he murmured then felt his face grow warm as he glanced over at her.

“
So am I, John.” She put the glass up to her lips, felt the heat of the liquor warm her throat.

“
Would you like another?” he asked, a little amazed.

“
Not right now, thank you. It would appear we have some decidin’ to do, so I best have a clear head.”

“
You’re talking about Tia’s welfare.”

“
Yes.” Her gaze stayed steady with his. “Martha wants to adopt her. How do you feel about that?”

“
I would love to have Tia as my daughter. We’ve waited a lot of years to have a child. I can promise you one thing right now, Charlotte,” he leaned forward in his chair, “that child would never want for anything.”

“
I know that, John.” Charlotte smiled at the honesty in his dark gray eyes. “There’s just one thing that worries me though. Would she grow up with values? I love my sister, but she is one of the most spoiled women the good Lord ever put breath in.”

Chuckling, John nodded. “I’ll have to agree with you there. She means well. I think having a child to raise might help curb some of that. Are you going to let us keep her?”

“
I really don’t have much choice. Eathen would never allow me to bring her back to Montana. And, as Martha pointed out in her most delicate manner, everyone would be able to recognize her Indian heritage just by lookin’ at her.”

“
Could I make a suggestion?”

“
Of course.”

“
You’re under a lot of stress right now. I think it would be better if you wait at least a year to make any decisions.” Without even being aware of it, he turned Martha’s picture away from him on the desk. “After that time, if you want Martha and me to adopt Tia, then we will.”

“
I don’t think that’ll be necessary, John. I thought about nothin’ else all night. I’m gonna tell you my decision without Martha present. That way, you can deal with her.”

“
All right,” he whispered, unable to think what he would do if her answer turned out to be no.

“
I’m gonna let you and Martha raise Tia, but I won’t let you adopt her. Her name’s gonna remain Thornton. In that way I will still have a part of her. Now,” she gazed at him, “are you still willin’ to accept her into your home?”

“
Yes, I am. With one stipulation.”

“
Which is?”

“
I want you to agree to come down to my office first thing tomorrow morning and make all of this legal. I love Martha too, but she can be very ruthless when she doesn’t get her way.” John rose to his feet. Walking to the fireplace, he lifted a good-size log from the wood box to place it on the crackling fire. Charlotte watched him, noting his unease. Instead of returning to the chair across from her, John chose instead to seat himself on the side of his desk. Pulling forth a small gold box, he withdrew a long thin cigar. “Do you mind?” She shook her head.

“
Charlotte, in telling us we can raise Tia without adopting her, you are setting yourself up for abandonment charges.”

“
I don’t understand.”

“
A verbal agreement has no legal bindings. Martha could claim you walked away from Tia.” He spread his hands. “Then she could use this to adopt her. I want everything spelled out on paper. I will not accept anything less.”

“
Martha’s my sister, John.” She stared at him in doubt. “I can’t believe she would do something like that to me.”

“
Then, believe me, when I tell you she would.” He pinched a spot just above the bridge of his nose, trying to ease the dull ache making itself known before it became a relentless pounding. “Martha wants a baby more than anything else in this world, Charlotte. The pain she suffered, both physically and mentally, when she lost our own child, changed her. Somehow she got it into her head that her inability to give me a child made her less of a woman.”

“
That’s ridiculous!” Charlotte slumped back in her chair.

“
Not to her it isn’t.” He moved the massaging hand from his aching brow to the back of his neck. “I’m trying to save everyone needless pain.”

“
All right, John.” Charlotte left her chair and, moving around behind the desk, pushed his hand out of the way to knead his taut neck muscles herself. “You’ve lived with her a lot longer than I have. If you feel this strong about it, we’ll do it your way.”

“
Thank you.” He emitted the words on a long sigh, dropping his head forward onto his chest as the taut muscles responded and the aching throb in his temples released its hold. “You don’t know it, but you just made my life a lot more tolerable.”

***

Bright and early that next morning, Charlotte stood waiting when the carriage pulled up out back.

“
I told Martha I planned to show you some of the city.” John made his way down the long staircase.

“
The carriage just pulled up. I suggest we take it and get outta here before she decides she wants to go with us.”

“
I’m right behind you,” he laughed, already rushing her out the door.

As they rode along with lap robes stretched across their legs to keep the chilled air at bay, Charlotte recalled when she used to live a block up the street from where John and Martha lived now, before her marriage to Eathen.

Drawing back the small curtain, she peered through the window, surprised at all the changes. The Matsen Theater, with its thick, deep-red curtains parting twice a month for as long as she could remember, was now a museum. She recalled it was a few blocks further on where the Franz Opera House resided. The grand old building had stood in that spot for well over sixty years and had been privileged to offer some of the greatest operatic voices of Europe. Charlotte smiled as she recalled how much her mother had enjoyed getting dressed up in her finest gowns, furs and her best pieces of jewelry to come to the Franz with Charlotte’s father and sit in the great balcony. Now, instead of the grand old building, there stood a hat shop, a dress shop and, on the corner, the Law firm of Scott, Jamison, and Sexton.

“
Looks like a lot’s changed.” She drew the curtain closed.

John glanced over at her. “Do you ever miss living here, Charlotte?”

“
I did at first,” she said, recalling how she couldn’t wait to get dressed for a night out on the town. “But the theaters and ballet hold little interest for me now. I’m happy on the ranch.” The smile left her face to be replaced with a look of sadness. “‘Course, Eathen and I see very little of each other.” She shrugged her shoulders. “But I guess that can’t be helped. He spends a lotta time in Helena on business.”

“
I know I shouldn’t ask, but I’m going to.” John turned in his seat to bring her fully into his view.

“
Why didn’t he come with me?” Her hands knotted up in her lap then relaxed.

“
If you don’t wish to talk about it, I’ll understand.” John berated himself for causing her this discomfort.

“
I don’t mind.” She patted his hand as it lay on the seat between them. “You’re askin’ because you care.”

“
Yes, I do, Charlotte,” he told her, taking her small gloved hand into both of his. “I care a great deal.”

“
Eathen hasn’t been the same since Jessie got herself in trouble,” Charlotte told him, with an ease that surprised her, as she settled herself beside him. “We felt bad enough when she went away to have the baby, but now…” She grew silent, unable to finish.

“
Charlotte, I realize this entire incident has to be very difficult for him. But, right now, he needs to realize how much you need him.” John gave her gloved hand a gentle squeeze. “In my line of work I see a lot of misery. Sometimes a hardship or tragedy can draw a couple closer together. Then again,” he glanced at her then looked away, “I’ve seen it destroy families.”

“
I hope I’m wrong, John,” she covered the hand holding hers, needing that added touch of another human-being, “but, I’m afraid this is the situation Eathen and I are in right now. He’s never come right out and said it, not really, but I feel he blames me for all this.”

“
You can’t be serious.” He drew his head back to stare at her.

“
I’ve never been more serious. When your wire came, tellin’ us about Jessie’s death, I thought I’d lost him, too.”

“
Why would he blame you? You didn’t know about her relationship with this young man.”

“
No, I didn’t. When I did find out, everything had already happened. Eathen feels I neglected Jessie by not warnin’ her soon enough about the perils of young love. I raised her to be a good girl, John.” Charlotte looked into his steady gaze, needing so much right at that moment to see belief and assurance, instead of ridicule and doubt looking back at her. The warmth in his eyes told her she had achieved her purpose. “I never dreamed she would go and get herself into trouble.”

“
My heart goes out to you, Charlotte.” He heaved a heavy sigh. “For that matter, Eathen too.”

As she felt the carriage lull to a halt, she turned a sad smile on him. “I hope I’m makin’ the right decision, John, in lettin’ you and Martha raise Tia. God knows I can’t keep her. If only she looked like Jessie instead of her father,” the smile vanished from her face, “Eathen might have accepted her. But she don’t.” Her thin shoulders slumped with defeat. “I’ll come to visit her as often as I can, but, I want your promise, you’ll never let her come to me.”

“
I give you my word, Charlotte.” John put his arm around her shoulders, drawing her head against his chest in a brief effort to shield her from the unfairness of her world. “The only way I would ever allow her to come to Montana, is if Eathen himself sent for her.”

“
Then she’ll never come, John.” Charlotte leaned into his embrace, grateful to have her burden lifted even for a moment. “As far as Eathen’s concerned, when we buried her mother, we might just as well have buried Tia right along with her.”

***

All through dinner, Charlotte kept thinking of her impending trip home. How could she spend Christmas in a house without Jessie? It just wouldn’t be the same. She put a hand over her glass of sherry as John lifted the decanter.

“
Are you all right, Charlotte?” Martha dabbed each corner of her mouth with a linen napkin. “You’ve been very quiet this evening.”