Fifty Shades of Submission (10 page)

"
It is
never
enough," I say softly, "Whip me. Beat me without mercy."

For a long while she says nothing. Then her
arm slips from my shoulder and she stands up. Without a word she stoops and picks up the whip once more and swings it through the air; it cracks down across my back. She hits me twice.

"Are you satisfied now?"
she says, breathing heavily.

"No.
I need you to inflict serious pain on me."

Come with me to the gates of hell, my love.

"I haven't the heart to hurt you. If I was really the kind of woman who would beat her slaves you would be horrified. You would hate and despise me."

"No,
Saskia," I reply solemnly, "I could never despise you. I am offering myself to you - body and soul! I want to be yours in every way possible. I am serious when I say that you can do with me whatever you want."

"I
hate
all this play-acting," she says suddenly, irritably.

"
I am not play-acting! This is not a game to me!”

We look at each other in
heavy silence.

She
seems perplexed. "Julian, I am warning you for the last time-"

"If
you care for me at all, if you love me just a little, you will be cruel towards me," I plead. “It is the only kind of love I trust and understand. It is the only kind of love that makes any sense.”

"
Very well!" She steps back and gives me a sombre look. "Be my slave then if that’s what you want! From now on you will be abused by me and you will be sorry!" At that moment her foot lashes out and she gives me a savage kick in the abdomen. The violence and the suddenness of it takes me by surprise and I double over, gasping.

"How do you like that, slave!
" she spits coldly, flourishing the whip. "Get up!" she shouts.

I obey, and she
lashes out furiously with the whip. The blows fall rapidly and powerfully on my back and arms. Each blow sears and burns my flesh through the fabric of my shirt. The pain excites me and I soon have a huge erection that is fighting to escape the confines of my jeans.

The blows continue to fall
violently and I am shielding my face and head with my arms. It is as if a dam has burst within her and all her emotion is pouring out on me through this ferociousness.

Finally she is spent, breathing hard, her breasts heaving. Her
green eyes are ablaze with excitement and fear.

"
God help me but I am beginning to
enjoy
this depraved game of yours," she says, trying to catch her breath. "I
enjoy
seeing you tremble and writhe under my whip, and hearing your groans and gasps of pain. I want to go on whipping you without pity until you beg for mercy, until you lose consciousness! I hope you are satisfied with yourself - you have awakened dangerous emotions within me. You have the angelic looks of a cherub but I’m beginning to think you’re really the devil incarnate. Your youth and beauty is a ruse. You’re leading me steadily down a path to hell and I am following willingly. But from now on be warned, it will be
me
who does the leading and
you
will do the following!"

I
press her hand gratefully to my lips. “
My love
… “

She shoves
me away violently. "Get out of my sight, slave! I have had enough of you for one day!"

I am standing before my step mother. I am thirteen years old. My father is away on business and we are alone in the house. The servants have been given the evening off.

I can see that she is in one of her ‘moods’.

“Come closer,” she commands.

I s
tep closed, heart beating faster. My breathing is shallow and my palms are sweating. I know what is coming.

My stepmother is sitting naked in the
large wingback armchair by the fire in the sitting room. Her expression is emotionless. “Your voice has broken,” she says. “You have become a man. Let me see if your balls have dropped. Take off your trousers.”

Silently, I do as I am told.

“Step forward!” she orders.

I step forward until I am almost touching her knees. Her eyes focus on my genitals and her hand reaches up and cups my testi
cles, then moves to my penis. You must take after your mother’s side of the family. You have a far bigger cock than your father.” She gives my penis a painful squeeze. “Have you been a good boy today, Julian?”

“Yes,” I answer
.

“I don’t think you have. I think you are lying to me. Are you lying to me?”
“No.”

“You know what happens when you lie to me, don’t you?”

I swallow hard and look down at the floor. “Yes.”

“I don’t think you’ve been a good boy at all. I think you’ve been playing with yourself again. Didn’t I warn you what would happen if you pleasured yourself?”

My heart is pounding. “Yes.”

“
Did you masturbate in your room today?”
“No!”

“You’re lying, Julian! I watched you masturbate
in your room this afternoon! I saw you rub your cock while staring at the picture of a naked whore in that pornographic magazine you hide under your mattress! You didn’t make a noise when you came but I saw you!”

She has
had a one-way peephole fitted to my bedroom door. She told my father that all boys need to be kept under close scrutiny to protect them from themselves.

I am mortified that she has
found my dirty magazine which I had thought I had hidden beyond her reach.

“Y
ou are just like every other male of your species,” she says venomously. “All you are preoccupied with is sex. All you can think of is your cock!”

She is
angry now and she picks up the ruler on the table next to her and hits my penis with it in a sharp, flicking motion.

Pain shoots up from my groin and I gasp.

She slaps the ruler against my penis four more times and ends with a sharp punch with her fist to my balls. I drop to my knees, horrified by the agonizing pain.

S
he smiles with satisfaction. “Instead of playing with yourself, filthy boy, you will pleasure me instead!”

She opens her legs
, grabs a handful of my hair and pushes my mouth roughly against her spread vagina.

“As punishment you will suck my c
unt until I tell you to stop!”

I have done this many ti
mes before since the age of ten so I know exactly what pleases her. Sometimes she wants me to suck and lick her until she comes, but mostly she likes having objects pushed in and out of her vagina.

This even
ing she has chosen a thick wax candle about the size of a man’s engorged penis. After licking her for a while, she pulls my head back and gives me the candle to use. She gasps as I push it deep inside her and then she throws her head back and begins to mover her hips around and moan as I move the candle back and forth inside her as steadily as I can.

“Faster!” she groans.

I quicken the strokes, my hand and arm beginning to tire. Thankfully she begins to reach an orgasm. She throws her head back with a low, shuddering moan and is finally still. I feel the last feeble contractions of her vagina against the shaft of the candle.

“Take it out,” she murmurs
, watching me through half-shut eyes.

I pu
ll the candle out of her. It’s wet and slippery with her juices.

“Did t
hat excite you?” she sneered. She was staring at my hardened penis and immediately picked up the ruler and slapped it sharply. I recoiled with pain.

“Go back to your room,
” she commanded, sounding tired. “I have no more use for you tonight. And remember, if you dare tell your father I will come to your room in the middle of the night when you are asleep and castrate you myself! Understand?”

I nod, still reeling from the pain. “Yes.”

“Yes what?” she snaps.

“Yes, mother.”

“Good. Kiss my cunt before you go.” She opens her legs wide and I obediently kneel between them and kiss her wet, briny vagina.

"
One must do violence to the object of one's desire; when it surrenders, the pleasure is greater
." - Marquis De Sade

I spent a feverish night filled with broken dreams. When I awoke I was bathed in sweat. The pale grey light of dawn was just beginning to filter through the curtains.

Memories of the evening before with Saskia flooded my mind. The skin on my back and arms wh
ere she had whipped me were raised in angry welts. She had whipped me with unexpected ferocity. My dream of a relationship with her had finally come true. How did that make me feel? Her cruelty enthralled me. I loved her more than ever. I felt overjoyed that at last she had accepted me as her submissive.

We
had now taken the first tentative steps on our perverted and exciting journey together.

There would be no going back.

Later that morning I was out on the terrace reading when Saskia called me from her balcony above. I hurried upstairs with anticipation. She greeted me sheepishly and held out her hands to take mine.

"I am
so horribly ashamed of myself," she said when I embraced her. She buried her face against my shoulder and I stroked her hair.

"Why?"

"Please try to forget the ugly scene of yesterday," she said with a quivering voice, "I have fulfilled your dreadful fantasies, now let’s just try to forget about it and be happy in each other’s company. Let’s be kind to one another."

"But I
enjoy being your slave!"

"Not another word of slavery, cruelty,
or that dreadful whip," Saskia interrupted sternly. "I will
not
be party to anything like that again!"

I
turned to leave but Saskia held onto me, embracing me. And then she began to kiss me - a truly deep and passionate kiss. It was the first time that she had shown me any real warmth or physical desire and it sent an electrified current jolting through my body.

It
told me more than I had dared hope.

A
n air of abandonment seemed to come over Saskia. She looked up at me through half-closed eyelids and the red flood of her hair framed her beautiful face and seemed to shimmer with a fiery energy of its own. The sight of her took my breath away.

"
Don’t be angry with me," I murmured. "I
need
you to hurt me or I shall go mad!"

"
I think this wanton fantasy of yours is nothing but an obsession with depraved sexual gratification,” she said. “Only an unnatural way of life could have spawned such perverted fantasies in you. You must have led a desperate childhood. Perhaps your loneliness and sense of abandonment has corrupted you irrevocably."

"
Become my fantasy, I beg you
," I murmured. I ran my hands through her hair and embraced her timorously – her proximity and the fragrance of her skin was driving me mad.

S
he began to kiss me savagely, biting my lips as if she wanted to wound me with her kisses. I became breathless and delirious with excitement.

She
took my head in her hands and with a violent motion pressed my face hard against her breasts. "You enjoy suffering," she whispered. "Let me give you a taste of pleasure to go with the pain.”

She kissed me a
gain with those full murderous lips. I felt an insane passion rise up within me like an unstoppable force. I ripped her blouse and her naked breast throbbed against my mouth. I found the soft, vulnerable flesh around the nipple with my teeth and bit down hard, tasting the saltiness of her blood on my lips.

I felt her body
arch and shudder with pain but she did not withdraw.

“Oh God,’ she
murmured. “
What are you doing?”

"I believe I have bitten you,
" I whispered.

We moved over to the bed and she pushed me back and straddled me. She lowered her breast into my mouth and I kissed and bit the nipple with more urgency than before. She moved her weight slightly and I felt her hand at my crotch. With deft hands she undid my
jeans and pulled my stiff and engorged penis free. My penis had been erect even before we had started kissing. It had started getting hard the moment I was alone in the room with her.

Saskia stroked my
enlarged rigid cock and I shuddered at her touch, gasping with pleasure.