Finding Cassie Crazy

Jaclyn Moriarty grew up in Sydney's north-west but has also lived in the US and England. She spent four years working as a media and entertainment lawyer and now writes full time so that she can sleep in each day. She and her Canadian partner divide their time between Sydney and Montreal, depending on where the summer is.

Also by Jaclyn Moriarty

Feeling Sorry for Ceila
Finding Cassie Crazy
I have a Bed Made of Buttermilk Pancakes
The Betrayal of Bindy Mackenzie

First published 2003 in Pan by Pan Macmillan Australia Pty Limited
1 Market Street, Sydney

Reprinted 2003, 2004 (twice), 2005, 2006

Copyright © Jaclyn Moriarty 2003

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.

National Library of Australia
Cataloguing-in-Publication data:

Moriarty, Jaclyn.
Finding Cassie crazy.

ISBN 0 330 36438 3.

1. Pen Pals - Fiction. 2. Interpersonal relations in adolescence — Fiction.
I. Title.

A823.3

Cover models: Hannah Day, Maddy Gerard and Alley Menck
Designed by Melanie Feddersen, i2i design
Typeset in 11.5/15 pt Minion by Midland Typesetters
Printed in Australia by McPherson's Printing Group

These electronic editions published in 2007 by Pan Macmillan Australia Pty Ltd
1 Market Street, Sydney 2000

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

All rights reserved. This publication (or any part of it) may not be reproduced or transmitted, copied, stored, distributed or otherwise made available by any person or entity (including Google, Amazon or similar organisations), in any form (electronic, digital, optical, mechanical) or by any means (photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise) without prior written permission from the publisher.

Finding Cassie Crazy

Jaclyn Moriarty

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To Colin

Cover

About the Author

Also by Jaclyn Moriarty

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

PART 1 LYDIA

PART 2 EMILY

PART 3 CASSIE

PART 4 ASHBURY HIGH YEAR 10 NOTICEBOARD

PART 5 LETTERS FROM ASHBURY

PART 6 LETTERS FROM BROOKFIELD

PART 7 LETTERS FROM ASHBURY

PART 8 LETTERS FROM BROOKFIELD

PART 9 LYDIA

PART 10 ASHBURY HIGH YEAR 10 NOTICEBOARD

PART 11 AUTUMN TERM EMILY AND CHARLIE

PART 12 AUTUMN TERM LYDIA AND SEBASTIAN

PART 13 AUTUMN TERM CASSIE AND MATTHEW

PART 14 LYDIA

PART 15 CASSIE

PART 16 EMILY

PART 17 ASHBURY HIGH YEAR 10 NOTICEBOARD

PART 18 LETTERS FROM ASHBURY

PART 19 LETTERS FROM BROOKFIELD

PART 20 LETTERS FROM ASHBURY

PART 21 LETTERS FROM BROOKFIELD

PART 22 LETTERS FROM ASHBURY

PART 23 LETTERS FROM BROOKFIELD

PART 24 LYDIA

PART 25 THE SECRET ASSIGNMENT

PART 26 FINDING MATTHEW DUNLOP

PART 27 WINTER TERM EMILY AND CHARLIE

PART 28 WINTER TERM LYDIA AND SEBASTIAN

PART 29 WINTER TERM CASSIE

PART 30 SAVING SEB MANTEGNA

PART 31 THE BATTLE

PART 32 TRANSCRIPT OF PROCEEDINGS TYPED BY BINDY MACKENZIE

PART 33 ASHBURY HIGH YEAR 10 NOTICEBOARD

PART 34 EMILY AND CHARLIE

PART 35 LYDIA AND SEBASTIAN

PART 36 LYDIA

PART 37 EMILY

PART 38 CASSIE

PART 39 ASHBURY HIGH YEAR 10 NOTICEBOARD

Thank you so much to my editor, Anna McFarlane; to my agent, Tara Wynne; to Blake Dawson Waldron, especially Robert Todd and Sophie Dawson, for letting me be a lawyer and writer at the same time; to Liane Moriarty, Michael Sobkin and Paul Sheehan for very helpful advice; and, most of all, to Colin McAdam for everything.

QUICK!

Before you read
another word
, write your own FULL name in every box on this page!

Don't be afraid! Your Note-book™ is
meant
for writing in!

Hello
Lydia Jaackson-Oberman
! It's great to meet you!

Hey,
wait a minute.
That name sounds familiar!

Lydia Jaackson-Oberman ?

Isn't that the name of a FAMOUS AUTHOR???!!!

Well, is it? Not sure? Maybe one day?

Hey,
Lydia Jaackson-Oberman
—
there's only one thing that
is
sure! And that's this:
the answer is in your hands!

Or, to be straight with you,
Lydia Jaackson-Oberman
,
the answer is in this Note-book™!!!!

You want to know how the Note-book™ works?

It's simple.

We ask questions. You answer them.

And
by the time you get to the end of the book, you're an author—
OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!
^*

Think it's crazy? Think again. Ever heard of William Shakespeare? Jane Austen ring a bell?
How do you think those guys got started?!?!

So. You ready? Let's dive right in!

How do you KNOW, deep in your heart, that you WILL be an author one day? (Go on
Lydia Jaackson-Oberman
, it's your turn now . . .)

Shakespeare got started using this book?
Wait till I tell my English teacher.

Wonderful! Now, how do you know you have the determination to see your dream through?

Well, for one thing I put my name in those boxes. Normally I would find that kind of thing insulting to my intelligence.

Plus there's the fact that I'm writing in this book at all, considering it's a birthday present from my dad.

Okay, great. Now, what was it that made you stop in the book store today, pick up this book, and take it over to the counter to pay for it?

My dad bought the book. Not me. For a birthday present?

Interesting. Okay, let's start with something simple. Look around you right now. Write down a list of everything that you see.

We bet you just wrote down ‘grass', ‘water', ‘sky', etc, etc. Maybe you noticed the coffee cup, but we bet you didn't get the lipstick stain
on the side
of the coffee cup! Now, go ahead and try again. Write down EVERYTHING that you see.

I don't get it. There is no coffee cup.

Ms Yen just turned around from the board and I noticed that she's getting a bit fat. The top button on her jeans has popped open.

She said that she didn't think there
was
a formula for time travel, although she
does
think there might be a formula to make me shut up and do my maths or else find myself
laughing on the other side of my face when it comes to the half-yearlies
!

If she tells me what that formula is I'll write it out for you.

That's better! Now, do you know the names of any of the plants or animals that are around you?

(A + B) – (A – B) x (X + Y) – (X – Y)

What about some of the
colours
of the things that you see?

I made up the formula myself. Ms Yen couldn't think of anything to say when I asked her for it.

Let's pretend that YOU are a character in a book. The book starts with you waking up yesterday morning. Tell us what you did.

I knew immediately that something was wrong. ‘Turpentine!'
I shouted to my stepsister, who I keep under my bed.
‘SOMETHING IS WRONG!'

‘Something is wrong,' agreed Turpentine, waking up and brushing the cobwebs from her silver hair. ‘You're turning into a road sign.'

‘Call the doctor!' I commanded, trembling. Turpentine was only two years old but she was no fool. I had all the classic symptoms. A stretchy feeling in my elbows, itchy palms.

I knew I was not long for this world.
Why me?
I kept thinking.
Why me?

It was a stupid question. Turning into a road sign was going around at my school, and I kept eating lunch with the NO WAYs. It was only a matter of time.

But what would I become? A STOP? A SLIPPERY WHEN WET? Or maybe something special like OLD NORTHERN ROAD? I hoped so.

Okay, what did you do next?

I decided to write a ‘goodbye and thank you' letter to every person I had ever met. I would write to the tennis coaches, the shop assistants, the school secretaries.

I thought of the cat that our cleaning lady brought along with her on a rainy day in August last year. The cat was an old tabby. It lay in its basket in the hallway and slept the whole time, even while the cleaning lady vacuumed around it.
Why did she bring it?
I asked myself now, thinking back to that strange day.
Why that day and not any other?
It was a mystery, all right, but a cute one.

‘Thank you,' I would write to the tabby cat, ‘for being a part of my life. A sleepy little part of my life.'

Animals do count.

Great! So what happened next? Remember that these are easy questions—it's not about ‘making things up'. Your Note-book™ is going to build you towards ‘invention'. For now, you should just tell the truth!

You should actually have made that clear to begin with. I put a lot of effort into that story.

Will you excuse me please because Maths is almost
finished and I have to go to English. We kept forgetting to go to English classes last year and now they're all weird about attendance.

Okay, time for your first QUICK FLICK. These are ‘memory' exercises, which you will find throughout your Note-book™. You'll really start to look forward to them! Think for a moment and then describe for us your very first day of university.

It was bad because I was only three at the time, and my mother made me wear a plastic bib around my neck, in case I spilled any of my stewed apples. All the other kids stared.

YOU LOSER. I'M IN HIGH SCHOOL.

I JUST TOLD YOU ABOUT MY MATHS TEACHER AND MY ENGLISH CLASS etc. DID IT SOUND LIKE UNIVERSITY TO YOU? WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING?

I DON'T THINK YOU WERE.

Tell us the occupation of your best friend. Is he a plumber? Maybe he's an accountant! We'll leave a couple of pages now so you can tell us ALL about your best friend!

My best friends are Emily Thompson and Cassie Aganovic.

You want to know what Em will do when she finds out you think she is a plumber?

You want to know what Cass will do when she finds out you only refer to people as ‘he'?

I am now in my English class and there are two minutes until the end of the period. Em is beside me and Cass is behind us. Look at them if you want. I'll hold up the book so you can see.

Mr Botherit is waving his hands to indicate that he wants to speak.

Let's see what he has to say.

Mr Botherit is an idiot.

What he has to say is that we have now finished Larkin, so
next week
, we will begin the Famous Ashbury–Brookfield Pen Pal Project. Specifically, we will write letters to students at Brookfield High and they will become our pen pals. ‘And this,' he says (whispering for dramatic effect), ‘will kill two birds with one stone!'

(‘Don't you
dare
kill any birds,' Sasha Perkins said, passionately.)

Mr Botherit is holding one finger in the air: ‘
A
,' he is saying, ‘it will reduce the hostility between our schools! And
two
,' he holds up a second finger. ‘And
two
, it will be our stand against the tyranny of technology! By sending
letters
we say no to emails! No to mobile technology and texting!! And
yes
to
the Joy of the Envelope
!'

Mr Botherit, as I said, is an idiot. He's trying to be funny, but he can't hide the fact that he's not.

He also can't hide the fact that he just said
A
, and then
two
. A lot of people are now offering to teach him the alphabet.

Meanwhile, the rest of the class is in an uproar. Some people are upset because their mobile phones have been insulted. Most people are upset about having to write to Brookfield. Mr B already tried this last year, and many students ended up dead. Or, anyway, unhappy.

Em just put her hand up to say it's probably against our constitutional rights to make us associate with drug dealers and murderers. She offered to check on this with her parents.
(Her parents are lawyers.) (Actually, Cass and I also have lawyers for parents, but Em's are compulsive lawyers.)

Mr Botherit nodded at Em politely, which confused her (‘Does he mean yes? Should I check with my parents? What does he mean by that nodding?'). Cass said that he doesn't mean anything. She has noticed he nods when he can't think of what to say.

‘Thank you, Cassie,' said Mr Botherit, as the bell started to ring. ‘That is an astute observation.'

Well, Note-book, I'm going to have to stop writing now. It's Friday afternoon, and it's been great getting to know you, but we all have places to go. Eg I'm going to Em's place for the weekend; you're going into the garbage bin.

Well done! That was fabulous!

And guess what? You did it! You finished Part 1 of your Note-book™! We are SO PROUD of you!

Be sure and take a break before you go on to the next Part . . .

^*
Conditions apply.