Finding Divine (26 page)

This time when the tears fell, Keith knew they were real, but he was finally beyond caring. “You…I…I thought you loved me.”

“I do, but I’m tired, Marie. Tired of you and your antics. I need an adult relationship. Call me when you grow up.” He released her then, steeling himself not to take her in his arms when she fell to the ground, with sobs shaking her body. 

Once he was inside, he peeked out the window and saw Marie hadn’t moved. It could have been an act, but if it wasn’t, it would probably do her some good to stew. Taking the phone off the receiver, he dialed Jessica’s number.

She answered after the second ring. “Hello?”

“Hey, baby. How are you doing?”

“Hi, Dad. I’m actually about to give the twins a bath. What’s up?” She didn’t particularly sound upset, a little distracted maybe.

“I was just calling to see if everything is okay, but if you’re about to do something I’ll call later.”

“Don’t be silly. I always have time for you. Besides, Simon is still here. He doesn’t leave until after bath time, so he’s keeping an eye on them for me right now.”

“I just had an interesting conversation with your mother.”

“Oh, yeah?” She sounded hesitant.

“Baby, I’m really sorry for the nasty thing she said to you.”

“Well, you know how Mom is. It’s no big deal.”

“Yes it is. It’s a very big deal I would say. She had no right telling you that at all, and I think it’s time for her to learn to think before she speaks.”

His declaration was met by silence. “Jessica?”

“Uh, nothing. Dad, it’s okay, really it is. Part of my therapy was learning to accept the things I can’t change, and I don’t know if Mom’s attitude will ever change, but she’s my mother, ya know?”

“I do. You’re a good girl, honey. I just wanted to let you know I love you very much.”

“I know, Dad. I love you too.”

“Okay, I will get off the phone so you can tend to those children. Kiss my grandbabies for me and tell Simon I said hello.”

“Of course.”

“Bye, baby.”

“Bye, Dad.”

He felt at peace when he hung up. Maybe things wouldn’t work out with Marie, but at least he was blessed with a wonderful daughter and two beautiful grandchildren.

He ventured to the window again and saw that Marie had driven off. She’d probably gotten tired of being ignored. Now that he’d learned to forgive, it was time to start learning to live without the love of his life.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

“That’s it. Smile for Mommy,” Jessica coaxed her seemingly bored twins to pose for the camera. Jason appeared more interested in chewing on his toes, and Jasmine looked to be taking the crap of her life. Her little faced was scrunched so tight, she almost looked to be in pain. Jessica had recently introduced baby food and cereal into their diets, and their diapers reflected it. Jessica couldn’t wait for potty training to come along. Who would have thought something as tasty as cinnamon applesauce could turn into what smelled liked toxic waste?

To make matters worse, the little stinkers seemed to take delight in her having to clean their rancid backsides. But Jessica loved them so much, she cherished every moment with them. They’d brought so much joy into her life, even when they woke her in the middle of the night she didn’t mind.

Their features were more distinctive each day. Jasmine’s were a mixture of her parents. Her bald head had given way to dirty blonde curls, and her eyes were Jessica’s dark brown. Her skin had darkened to a creamy
café au lait
.

Jason on the other hand was the spitting image of his father. Jessica thought his eyes would eventually darken, but they remained blue like his father’s. His once dark locks were now a sandy shade that wasn’t quite as curly as his sister’s.  He was paler than Jasmine and could have been Simon as a baby. Other than the dimples which Jasmine had also inherited, Jessica saw nothing of her in Jason except when he smiled. Despite their differences in appearance, she thought they were both the most beautiful babies in the world.

“Don’t you think you’ve taken enough pictures of the children?” Ellie laughed from the blanket. The two of them had decided to take their children to the park for the day. Ellie had brought her two youngest, Melissa and Cory. Her other children were at a soccer game with their father. Ellie and Jessica sat on a blanket with the twins and a picnic lunch they’d packed.

“I could never have too many pictures of my little angels. They grow up so fast and I want to capture every moment.”

“I guess I can’t really blame you. I was the same way when Kara was born, but by the time baby number two came along, we were all pictured out.”

Jessica took a seat on the blanket next to the children and put the camera away. “I guess us first-time parents can get a little overzealous at times.”

“I’m surprised Simon hasn’t shown up. He sees them just about every day, doesn’t he?”

Jessica frowned. After their discussion he seemed to be different around her. It wasn’t anything he said or did, but it was almost as if a part of him had shut down.

“Simon is doing a favor for his mother. He’ll probably come by tonight.”

“He’s been really good with them, hasn’t he?”

“Simon has been great.”

“That’s good. But why do I hear a hitch in your voice when you say his name? I have to admit, when I first learned who he was, I wasn’t too keen on him. Now that I’ve seen how he’s been with you and the twins, I kind of like him. Is there no way for the two of you to work out your differences?”

“Ellie, not you, too!”

“What do you mean ‘me too?’ Are other people suggesting you should give Simon another chance?” the blonde asked.

“My Dad hasn’t come right out and said it, but he’s made hints. Simon took the twins on an outing and later I found out my father was with him! Can you believe that? Dad is acting like Simon is his new best friend—well, I won’t go that far, but the fact they hung out together is just weird.”

“What’s so weird about it? Your dad and Simon have the children in common.”

“Yeah, but my dad is talking about taking Simon on his next fishing expedition with him and his buddies. And get this, he’s even asked me if Simon would be interested in joining his poker nights.”

“So?”

Jessica sighed with exasperation. “You have no idea how hard it is to break into Dad’s inner circle. He has been hanging out with his same friends since high school.”

“I think it’s a positive thing. In a way, I can see why your father is doing it.”

“Well, you can enlighten me, because I don’t get it.”

“I think in his way, he’s trying to show you that maybe you should give Simon a chance, too. Maybe he’s compensating for your mother. You still haven’t heard from her, have you?”

Jessica tried not to be upset at the mention of her mother’s name but it still saddened her they were still not speaking.  It had been nearly a month since their argument.  This time, however, it seemed she was actually carrying it out. Jessica was tired of trying to live up to her mother’s impossible standards and refused to run to her mother to apologize. For once she’d stood up for herself and wouldn’t back down. If this was the way her mother wanted things, so be it. “No. Actually, my Dad said she’s gone on a trip the last I heard, but he wouldn’t say anything else.”

“I thought your parents were seeing each other again.”

“They were, even though they tried to keep it a secret from me. But something has happened and Dad refuses to talk about it.”

Ellie’s five-year-old son Cory appeared, interrupting them. “Mommy, can I have something to drink?” 

“Sure, honey, get one of the juice boxes in the picnic basket.”

Cory walked toward the basket and then held his nose. “Yucky! The babies are stinky!” he exclaimed.

Jessica laughed at the child’s expression of disgust. “When you were a baby you used to mess your diaper, too.”

Cory looked indignant. “I did not!”

“Oh yes, you did,” Ellie contradicted. “It was so bad your father and I considered calling Hazmat a few times to get rid of the waste.”

The little boy probably didn’t know what Hazmat was, but he glared nonetheless. He got his juice box from the basket and stomped off in a huff. “He’s something else.” Jessica smiled, watching the blond boy’s retreat.

“He certainly is.” Ellie agreed. As much as she complained about her children, Jessica knew her friend wouldn’t trade any of them for the world.

“Could you check Jason’s diaper for me? I think he’s fine, but I’d really appreciate it. I think Jasmine is the culprit.”

“Sure thing.”

Sure enough, Jessica’s daughter was indeed the perpetrator. “Whew. I need to take her to the restroom. Is Jason okay?”

“Yes. He’s fine. You go ahead and I’ll watch him.”

“Thanks.”

Jessica picked Jasmine up while trying to hold her breath. Ellie handed her the diaper bag and Jessica headed to the bathroom. Fortunately there was a baby changing station. It didn’t take long for her to change the diaper, wash her hands, and return to her friend, but as she approached, there was a man standing over her friend. Ellie clutched Jason against her in a protective gesture.

Jessica rushed over to them. “What’s going on?” she demanded.

The man turned to her. He was an older gentleman, but still very good- looking in that Harrison Ford in
Clear and Present Danger
kind of way. “You’re Jessica, I presume.”

“Yes. What do you want?” She backed up a step.

“I’m Harold Lange, and I’ve come to see my grandchildren.” There was a determined look in his green eyes, and a firm set to his lips, which reminded her a little of Simon. Father and son didn’t look very much alike, but in that facial expression, she could see the resemblance.

Jessica looked to Ellie who shrugged, obviously as perplexed as she was. “Umm, does Simon know you’re here?”

“No. Does it make a difference?” Mr. Lange’s tilted his chin upward, his eyes burning with defiance, but behind it, Jessica read another emotion. Fear. Obviously he was afraid she’d send him away and it made her feel guilty. The twins were five months and had been doted on by all their grandparents expect him.

She knew how Simon felt on the subject of his father visiting the children, but she was their mother and she also had a say. She didn’t think it was right for Simon to deny his father access to the children. “No. It doesn’t make a difference. I’m only sorry this is the first time you’re seeing them. This is Jasmine and Ellie is holding Jason. Jazzy, say hello, to Grandpa.” Jessica took her daughter’s hand and waved it. “Would you like to hold her, Mr. Lange?”

If she wasn’t mistaken, there were tears in the man’s eyes. “May I?” There was so much longing in his voice it tugged at her heartstrings.

“Of course.”

“I haven’t held a baby in so long, I’m afraid I might break her.”

“Babies are much more resilient than you think. Go ahead.” She carefully handed her daughter over.

“She’s so tiny,” he said with wonder. Jasmine stared back at the stranger quietly.

“She’s tougher than she looks.”

Ellie stood up with Jason. “Here you go.” She handed Jason over to him. “I’ll leave you guys alone while I check on my rugrats. Those two have been awfully quiet, which means they’re up to no good.”

“This is Jason, of course.”

Mr. Lange nodded. “Yes. He looks just like Simon. It’s…it’s my understanding you named him after your brother.”

“Yes. It was Simon’s idea. He’s been amazing with the children, Mr. Lange.”

“Please call me Harold. May I sit down with her?”

“Of course. We can go over to the bench if you don’t want to sit on the blanket.”

“No, this is fine.” Although he spoke to her, he couldn’t tear his eyes off his grandchildren.  Once he was settled, he spoke again. “The children are absolutely beautiful. The pictures don’t do them justice. Whenever Ann comes back from a visit with them, she always has a new crop of pictures.”

“Thank you. I am rather biased about them myself.” She couldn’t help noticing how his eyes darted from side to side every so often, as if he were expecting someone to come up to him at any moment.

“Are you okay?”

“Surely, you’ve figured it out.”

“That you’re not supposed to be here? Yes, I gathered that. This errand Simon is running for his mother had something to do with it?”

“Please don’t be cross with her. I put her up to it. I really wanted to see my grandchildren, and Simon has made things very difficult.”

“Is it because he still indirectly blames you for the night my brother died?”

Harold turned a deep shade of red. “You speak so easily about it. He was your brother. I’m surprised you don’t hate me, too.”