Finding Divine (24 page)

Jessica refused to listen anymore. She walked to the door and opened it. “Mother, I love you very much, but I can’t deal with this right now.”

“But I want to see the children. I haven’t seen them in a couple of days.”

“When Simon drops them off, I don’t think you should be here. You’ve made your position quite clear where he’s concerned and I respect that, but while you’re in my home I need peace. I won’t get that if the two of you are under the same roof.”

Marie’s jaw dropped.  “Do you mean to tell me, you‘re choosing the murderer over your own mother?”

“I’m choosing my sanity. I’ll bring the kids over for a visit tomorrow.”

Her mother stood up, and grabbed her purse. “Don’t bother! You’ve made your choice quite clear. If Jason were alive he wouldn’t have done this to me. I sometimes wonder why it couldn’t have been you instead of him.”

It had never been a secret to Jessica that her mother preferred Jason, but to hear the words said aloud hurt like hell. She closed her eyes against the verbal assault and took a deep breath. “I’m sure you do. I’m sorry it wasn’t me, too. Have a safe drive, Mom.”

“I didn’t mean it, Jessica. I swear. I—”

“You never do, Mom. Please just go.”

Her mother grabbed her arm eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know what’s come over me.”

Jessica only nodded, knowing if she responded she’d also say something she regretted.

“You will forgive me, won’t you? I don’t think I can sleep tonight if you don’t.”

“Sure.”

“You don’t sound like you mean it.”

“Look, Simon should be here any minute—” Just then she heard someone coming up the stairs and the sound of a baby wailing. Jasmine. “Excuse me.”

She walked down to the steps in time to see Simon struggling with a diaper bag and two loaded baby carriers. Jason looked like he was just waking up, and dangerously close to joining his sister’s symphony of tears. Jasmine screamed at the top of her lungs.

“You should have called me and I would have come downstairs to help you with them. You’re putting too much stress on your legs.”

Simon looked tired and red-faced. “Once I sit down I’ll be fine.”

“Is everything okay with these two?” she asked, taking Jasmine’s carrier from him.

“For the most part they’ve been angels, but Jasmine got a little cranky and Jason was a little fussy as well. I guess they were missing their mommy.”

They headed into her apartment to see her mother still standing by the door, not bothering to hide her hostility.

Simon inclined his head in her direction in acknowledgement. “Hello, Mrs.—”

“Don’t say shit to me you goddamn bastard! You may have suckered my daughter and my ex-husband but you don’t fool me. You are scum. It’s a shame you didn’t die in your accident.”

Simon paled.

Jessica was taken aback by her mother’s venom. “Ignore her, Simon. She was just leaving. Close the door on your way out,” Jessica said dismissively moving past her mother and headed to the twin’s room. Simon followed.

“When was the last time they were changed?” she asked, taking Jasmine out of her carrier.

“Just before I left the park. They both had bowel movements, the little stinkers.”

She checked Jasmine’s diaper, which was till dry. Jessica lifted her daughter and rubbed her back in a circular motion. Within seconds, Jasmine cooed her happiness. “Mommy missed you too, baby,” she whispered against the still bald head.

“Jason’s diaper is fine too. They ate about an hour ago. They’re tired. They haven’t slept all day except in the car. When I took them to my uncle’s and everyone wanted to hold and play with them. The kids loved all the attention.”

Jessica smiled, nuzzling Jasmine’s neck. “That’s nice.”

“I can’t wait until I can keep them with me at my place. I’m having a room decorated for each of them. I was thinking of going with a pink princess theme for Jasmine, and an outer space one for Jason.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for that? Today was the first time you actually had them for the entire day.”

Simon laid Jason down in his crib. “I admit they were a handful, but I have to get used to having them more often.”

Though they’d never formally discussed custody, it had been understood that the twins would live with both of them on a rotating basis when they were a little older. Jessica put Jasmine inside her crib. The little girl looked as if she wanted to fuss, but Jessica turned on the musical mobile, which immediately grabbed her attention. “Simon, I’ve been meaning to ask, but has your father seen the children yet?”

The expression on his face grew stony. “No.”

“Why not? They’re almost four months old.”

“Jessica, please don’t start. You know how I feel about my father.”

“I know, but—“

Her mother chose that moment to walk into the room. “I want to see my grandchildren before I go.”

Jessica sighed. She should have known her mother wouldn’t leave so easily, especially not without getting the last word.

“Mom, I just put them down for a nap.”

As if Jessica hadn’t said a word, her mother walked to Jasmine’s crib, and when she  leaned to pick up the baby , Jessica grabbed her shoulder. “No. They’re about to go to sleep.”

Marie glared. “So this is how it’s going to be? You’re going to treat me like this in front of
him
?”

“I asked you to leave, Mom. Please go. The twins are exhausted and so am I.”

Her mother narrowed her eyes. “If I walk out that door, I’m not coming back. Ever. You’re a traitor, and I can’t believe a daughter of mine would treat me so shabbily.”

“Mom, I’ve been catering to your every whim since I was a child. Now I have children of my own to take care of and your drama is no longer my number one priority. If you don’t want to come back, I would be sad, but I’m not going to beg you to stay.” Jessica had a feeling that was exactly what her mother wanted her to do.

“I mean it. I won’t be back, and you can forget about visiting me either!”

“Goodbye, Mom,” she replied softly, her heart heavy.

Apparently this wasn’t the answer Marie wanted to hear. Tears ran down her face. “Jessica—”

“Goodbye,” Jessica said more firmly. This time Jessica made sure her mother left. When the door was finally shut and locked, she felt like collapsing, but Simon was there, wrapping his large arms around her.

“I’m so sorry, Jess.”

“It’s okay. I’m used to my mother’s tantrums, but sometimes they’re harder to deal with than others.”

“I wish there was something I could do.” He rocked her back and forth in his arms. It was calming. Finally, she looked up and saw a smoldering within his light eyes.

“Simon?” she asked uncertainly, as she tried to pull away.

His arms tightened around her.

“We can’t do this again,” she whispered.

“Yes, we can.” He lowered his mouth to hers.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

The feel of her mouth beneath his was pure heaven. Her lips were like warm silk. How had he gone so long without tasting them, touching her soft hair, and holding her within the circle of his arms? Now that he held her, he didn’t want to let go. “I missed this so much, Jessica,” he murmured.

“We shouldn’t do this.” Jessica sounded half-hearted in her response. It thrilled him to know that she wanted his touch too. He wouldn’t delude himself into thinking this would change things, but for now, all he wanted was to hold her, and never stop.

Simon traced the outline of her lips with his tongue, reacquainting himself with their gentle curve before meeting slight resistance. “Open for me, sweetheart. I need this, we both do.”

With a sigh, Jessica obeyed his soft command. He immediately took advantage of her compliance and delved into her sweetness. He tightened his arms around her waist, as he molded his body against hers. Simon reveled in her warmth. There were many nights when he’d dreamed of this moment, but his fantasies had not prepared him for the reality of the wondrous sensations flowing through his being. He loved this woman with all his heart and although he never wanted this moment to end, he knew it eventually would.

He trailed his hands down her spine, only stopping to cup the curve of her bottom in his palms. Simon squeezed and kneaded her cushy rear. Jessica moaned beneath the gentle assault of his mouth as she pressed herself closer.

Simon ground his cock against her thigh, wishing he could throw Jessica on the floor and bury himself inside her sweet pussy. But he had to go slow so as not to frighten her. Simon lifted his head then and began to plant kisses all over her face and neck. “I love you, Jessica. I never stopped loving you. You are my heart. You and the children mean the world to me.”

“Simon.” She didn’t return his words of endearment, but the soft sigh she released said a lot.  Her feelings for him weren’t completely dead despite the emotional distance she’d put between them. There was hope.

He guided her backward until her back touched the wall. The aching urgency he’d tried to keep at bay reared its head. Fumbling with the buttons of her shirt, he couldn’t expose her delicious dusky skin quick enough. He wanted to see, touch, and taste every inch of her. Pushing her now loose blouse aside, he undid the front clasp of her bra, and gazed at her perfect brown globes.

She’d been unsuccessful with nursing their children, but her breasts were still fuller than he remembered. “Nice,” he whispered. His hunger for her grew stronger by the second.

Jessica shivered beneath his gaze. “This isn’t a good idea,” she voiced her reluctance once more.

“You keep saying that yet you’re doing nothing to stop me.” He pressed a hot opened-mouth kiss against the part of her neck where it met her shoulder.

Jessica gasped with a slight shake.

“And you want me to do to this.”  Simon kissed the top or each breast before lifting his head to gauge her reaction. She looked at him with passion-glazed eyes, her love swollen lips slightly parted.

“And you definitely want me to do this.” He ran his tongue around one blackberry-colored areola, taking his time, reveling in its soft texture. Following that, Simon took one burgeoning nipple in his mouth, loving the way it grew to an impossibly hard peak. Simply giving Jessica pleasure made his cock so damn hard he could barely stand.

Simon bet if he slid his hands into her panties she’d be wet. But he reminded himself he’d have to go slowly with her. She needed to get used to his kisses and caresses again.

When he would have transferred his focus to her other nipple, Jessica dug her fingers in his hair, and held him against her breast. “Please, Simon, don’t stop,” she whispered.

He chuckled softly, licking and laving the tight tip. He nipped her delicate skin playfully.

“Oh, Simon, that feels so good.”

Simon managed to lift his head enough to move to her other breast, giving it the same attention as his counterpart. “I can do this forever. I love every part of your beautiful body.” He made love to her mounds with his mouth, until they were swollen and covered with love bites. Afterward, Simon dropped to his knees.

“Oh no,” she groaned.

He looked up, alarmed by her panic. “What’s wrong, Jessica?”

“I have stretch marks. They look disgusting.”

He ran his hand over her slightly rounded belly. “There’s nothing about you I find disgusting. I think you’re beautiful no matter what. If anything, I’m more turned on than ever knowing this body carried my children.” He pressed kisses along her stretched flesh. She had no reason to be ashamed. Each mark was like a badge of honor to him, and he wanted to assure her that he found her no less desirable as a woman because of them.

“You don’t know what you’re doing to me,” she whispered.

Simon had a pretty good idea and he didn’t plan on stopping. Just as he unfastened the buttons of her jeans, a loud wail ripped through the air.

Damn.

He wobbled to his feet on now shaky legs and pressed a quick kiss on her mouth. “You straighten up. I’ll handle this.”

Jessica nodded as though she were still in a daze. Simon headed to the kids’ room and went straight to his son’s crib. He leaned over and picked up the frantic baby. “Hey, buddy. It’s okay. Daddy’s here.” His son was usually the even-tempered one, but babies were often unpredictable. Simon carried Jason to the living room so Jasmine wouldn’t wake up.

Simon patted the screaming baby’s back. “What’s the matter, Jason?” It was frustrating for a parent to hear their child scream and the child unable to adequately communicate. He put his son on the couch to check his diaper. It was still dry. When Jessica joined them, Simon asked, “I don’t know what’s wrong. I’ve never heard him cry like this before.”