Finding Divine (31 page)

Keith sighed, not quite meeting her eyes. “Look, Marie, you don’t have to say anything else. I know it must have taken a lot for you to come here but—”

She placed her fingers over his lips and implored, “Don’t say it, Keith. Don’t send me away just yet without finishing what I have to say. I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m begging.”

He pulled away from her as if her touch scalded him. “Fine, say what you have to say.”

Marie realized there was only one thing she could say. “I love you, Keith. I never stopped loving you. I know I always seem to put my interests first, but I really do want to change. Jessica and I are finally acting as mother and daughter should and I’d hoped….I thought maybe you and I could go back to the way we were.”

His face remained stony.

She had her answer. As much as it broke her heart, Marie knew she’d lost Keith forever. It was her own dumb fault, but it didn’t lessen the hurt knowing this. “I-I’ve said what I n-needed t-to. No matter what happens I want you to be h-happy.”  Marie stood up and rushed to the door before she could further embarrass herself.

She ran outside and made it to her car, blinded by tears. Fumbling in her purse for her keys, she had to take a deep breath to calm down. “God, just let me get out of here, before I break down,” she muttered to herself.

Marie nearly jumped out of her skin when two large arms wrapped around her body. At first she thought she was imagining things, but when she felt the warm caress of Keith’s breath against her ear, she knew she wasn’t dreaming. He’d come after her.

“Marie, baby. I would have been a fool for letting you walk away from me. I’m sorry I was being an asshole, but I didn’t know how to react. I’ve never seen you so humble before.”

Her tears of misery were instantly transformed to ones of joy. She sagged against his broad chest, her knees no longer able to support her. “Keith, please tell me I’m not dreaming. Tell me this is what I think it means,” she whispered.

Gently, Keith grasped her shoulders and turned her around to face him. The look in his soulful brown eyes said it all. “Yes, Marie. I never stopped loving you and I never will. I didn’t exactly handle things well when you showed up on my doorstep.”

She sniffed, leaning her head against his chest and circling his waist with her arms. “It doesn’t matter.”

“I think it does.” He took her chin and tilted her head. “Look at me, baby. I wanted to be with you again for a long time, but when we had our last argument I felt that I’d been the one to prove how much I loved you time and time again. I believed, if you well and truly cared for me, you’d be the one to come to me. When weeks passed without a word from you, I started losing hope. Eventually, I grew resentful. When you came over some of my hurt and anger came out. Forgive me.”

She cupped his handsome face in her hands. “There’s absolutely nothing to forgive.  I think if the roles were reversed, I probably would have reacted the same way. I’m not even sure if I would have put up with me for as long as you did. I’ve been a selfish bitch.”

He pressed his lips against her forehead. “Marie, don’t be so hard on yourself. Yes, there have been times in our relationship when I wanted to strangle you, but you have so many wonderful qualities.”

She was touched. She loved him so much her heart could barely contain it. This time apart from him had been torture. Marie only wished it hadn’t taken nearly losing him for good to realize what she’d had all along. “You’re too good to me.”

“No, I’m not. This is from the heart, baby girl. I’m not perfect and neither do I expect you to be. Things won’t always be roses and sunshine between us, but considering what we’ve been through I think we can weather any storm. Don’t you think?”

She buried her head against his chest, inhaling the heady scent of his cologne. “Yes.”

This time when their lips met, it was a hot, hungry kiss. Their tongues met, dancing and twining around the other. Her body grew hot as though it would burst into flame.

Marie didn’t know how it happened exactly, but she found herself swept off her feet and into Keith’s strong arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her into the house.

She tingled from head to toe with anticipation for what was about to happen.

Jessica flopped on the couch feeling completely exhausted. She rubbed her temples, trying to drive out the annoying song playing in her head over and over again. Who would have thought a concert could be so lame? At least the kids seemed to like it and that’s what counted.

Spending time with Simon had been an added bonus. After allowing herself to admit her feelings for him, Jessica was able to relax around him. They were growing closer together than they had been before. A lot of it had to do with feeling some measure of closure to her brother’s death. Letting go of the negativity that had loomed over her like a dark cloud for so long was incredibly freeing. She and her mother were getting along, and she hadn’t had an anxiety attack in a long time.

“They’re both out for the night.” Simon walked into the living room, and took a seat next to her on the couch. He casually rested an arm around her shoulder.

She placed her head against his broad chest, giving in to the delicious warmth he generated. It seemed natural and felt right. “I’m exhausted. Can you believe how into the concert the twins were? And all those characters did was sing a bunch of nonsense songs and jump around the stage like a group of lunatics.”

Simon laughed. “They were certainly entranced. But admit it Jess, you were kind of getting into it too.”

Jessica giggled. “No way. I was only wiggling in my seat because I didn’t use the bathroom before we left. Besides, they sung
The Wheels on the Bus
ten times. If I never hear that song again, it will be too soon.”

A mischievous sparkle entered Simon’s eyes. “The wheels on the bus go round—”

She tapped him on the arm. “Don’t start.” A comfortable silence fell between the two of them. Simon’s ran his fingers up and down her arms, titillating her senses.

“Jessica?”

She tilted her head to look at him. “Hmm?”

An unreadable emotion flickered in his eyes. “I had a good time with you and the children today. But there’s something I’ve been dying to do all day.”

“What’s that?”

He grasped her chin between her fingers, and lowered his head. Jessica was mesmerized. She couldn’t stop him if she wanted to, and she didn’t.  The soft press of his lips against her sent a thrill of excitement and desire up her spine.

She found herself twining her arms around his neck and twisting her body to push against his. Her body came to life in his arms. “Simon,” she whispered his name, her fingers threading through his silky blond locks.

He slid his tongue along the seam of her lips, tasting and exploring her before slipping it into her mouth.

Jessica squirmed to temper the fire building within. Her pussy throbbed, and the need to be filled by him threatened to consume her. With just a simple kiss, Simon had rendered her completely helpless and she didn’t care. She loved the way his warm breath mingled with hers and how his tongue explored the recesses of her mouth as if he couldn’t get enough of her.

Her nipples tightened to hard pebbles. She wanted her hands on them, nibbling and sucking them. “Touch me,” she muttered against his lips.

He lifted his head, his desire evident. “Jessica, I don’t want to start something you’re not going to let me finish.”

“I won’t stop you. I want this, Simon.”

“Does this mean what I think it does?”

She wiggled pressing her body against his, wanting to be closer. “Simon, I haven’t wanted anything as much as I want you right now. Please make love to me.” She attempted to pull his head down to hers again, but he resisted.

I’m not letting this go any further until I know where I stand, Jessica.”

CHAPTER THIRTY

Simon was taking a risk, but this waiting game was killing him. He’d played it smooth for the past several weeks, giving Jessica her space, and being there when she needed him. He hoped he hadn’t misread her signals; otherwise, he didn’t want to be just a sexual outlet for her. Simon wanted more.

Much more.

An expression he couldn’t quite read flickered in her eyes before she lowered her lids. “Simon, I want you. Isn’t that enough?”

His nostrils flared. He could understand her hesitancy but he wouldn’t allow her to play with his feelings . “No, it isn’t enough. You either love me or you don’t. I’ve tried to be patient, but I can’t any longer.”

She clenched her hands on her lap with a sigh. “Are you giving me an ultimatum?”

Simon raked his fingers through his hair. “Dammit, Jessica, I don’t want to, but you’re forcing me to.”

Jessica lifted a brow. “How am I forcing you to pressure me?”

He stood up, then and paced the length of the living room. “Do you need to ask? I love you, and I don’t want to be intimate until I have a commitment from you. We love each other but you still hold me at arm’s length.”

“I do love you, Simon. But…”

Simon clutched her hands in his. “But what?”

“I’m scared,” she whispered.

He furrowed his brow in confusion. “Sweetheart, what are you scared of?”

“Of us not working out.”

“I can’t imagine how we wouldn’t considering what we’ve been through. Besides, you’re the love of my life and I have no intention of letting you go.”

She released a deep breath. “You say that now, but I can’t shake the feeling that this happiness I feel when I’m with you won’t last.”

“What do you mean?”

She cupped the side of his face. “I love you very much. And being with you has made me happy. For the first time in a long time, my life is looking up. I know my explanation may not make much sense, but after Jason died, my life was bleak. Being unhappy had become second nature. Now, with the twins and the way I feel about you, I don’t know how to handle it. I keep thinking something bad will happen to take it all away from me. I want to commit to you, but who’s to say something won’t happen somewhere down the line? I don’t think I could handle the devastation of…losing you.”

He brushed aside a stray strand of hair that had fallen over her forehead. “I understand how you feel, Jessica, but I’m scared too—scared of waking up without you by my side, scared that my children won’t grow up in the same home with both parents, and most of all, scared of how much I love you. I feel like I’m bursting with it. I know I could walk out this door and have something terrible occur, but then again, it might not. It’s a gamble we take every day. It’s called life. We’re not living if we don’t take chances. It’s time you took a chance on us.” Simon squeezed her hands tight.

Jessica gave him a wobbly smile. “You’re right. I was being silly.” She met his eyes then, tears glistening within their dark depths. “I would like to commit to you. And I want us to share the rest of my life with you.”

Simon found himself grinning like an idiot. “That sounds like a marriage proposal to me, Jessica.”

She batted her lashes at him. “Maybe it is…Simon, will you marry me?”

He pulled her into his arms, and planted kisses all over her face and mouth. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Jessica giggled between kisses. “Is that a yes?”

Simon pulled back just enough to look into her eyes. “You know it. Of course you realize, I’ll never let you live this down. When the twins are old enough to ask about how we became engaged, I’ll tell them their mother begged me. That’ll be some story, won’t it?”

Jessica tapped him playfully on the shoulder with a laugh. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Simon nodded with a wide grin. “Oh, I most certainly would. But I think there’s one thing that will finish this moment off just right.”

Jessica wiggled her eyebrows at him. “Making love?”

Planting a kiss against her warm soft lips, his heart felt like it would overflow with the love he felt for her. “You’re randy tonight, aren’t you? That most certainly will come later, but it wasn’t what I had in mind. Hold on for a minute.” He untangled himself from her arms and walked over to his jacket.

“What are you doing, Simon?” Jessica called to him from across the room.

“Patience, babe.” He retrieved the small box resting in his coat pocket before returning to her. “I believe this belongs to you.” Simon got down on bended knee and held out the black velvet box.

Jessica gasped, her hands flying to her cheeks. “Simon, is this what I think it is?”

“Why don’t you open it up and find out?”

Slowly, she reached for it and opened it up with caution. Her eyes widened to saucers. “Oh, my God! Simon!”

“Do you like it?” he asked anxiously. “If you don’t, I could buy you something else, maybe something bigger.”