Finding Me (5 page)

The euphoria of the dream slipped, however. In an instant, the new guy went from a whisper to an ear-piercing screech. I covered my ears from the near deafening sound. He grabbed my left hand, pointed behind me again, and yelled, “Run!”

Without thinking, I ran, still clinging to his hand. The panic evident in his voice drove me forward. At breakneck speeds, I dashed through the forest. I didn’t know I could run so fast. My body crashed into low-hanging tree limbs. Vines scratched at my feet as I pushed faster through the brush. Deeper into the woods I ran. Fear tugged at me.
Oh, God. Please get me out of here.
When I tumbled over a fallen log, I realized I no longer held his hand. Even more frightening, he was nowhere in sight. I was alone, in the dark, in the woods.

I crawled to a large tree with heavily bowed limbs. My breaths came in loud, sporadic bursts.
Calm down, Carmichael. Think.
The forest was silent except for the sound of my heartbeat roaring in my ears. I pulled my knees to my chest and curled myself into a tight ball.
Think.

Calling to the new guy wasn’t an option. Unless I wanted to yell, “Hey, new guy.” I didn’t want to yell. More than anything, I wanted to be away from here – wherever here was. And if all the horror movies I’d watched had taught me anything, you never yelled out a person’s name. Not while you’re hiding from someone else – especially an unknown someone or something.

I scrambled to my feet, hurrying in no particular direction. Trying to escape whatever fate lurked behind me. I needed to keep moving. Distancing myself from the position where I first saw the new guy was my best option.
I think.
He obviously thought it unsafe. Maybe if I ventured further, deeper into the woods, I’d bump into him. It was all I could hope for – standing out in the open alone petrified me.

I pushed through sweeping clusters of trees and over enormous toppled logs. Clumsily, I made my way to nowhere. I maneuvered around thick bushes and large trees with huge branches. They reached out for me. I bit my lip, trying to suppress a scream on the verge of colliding into the air. My breath erupted in erratic spurts as I searched. But he was nowhere.

As the seconds turned to minutes, doubt that I would find him set in. A crippling fear seized me, cementing my feet where I stood. Shadows sprang at every bend. Heavy scratch marks scored the base of a giant tree in front of me. My imaginative mind soared with the possibilities of what could have made the marks. The glowing eyes I’d seen high above my head before, were now on the ground. The muscles in my legs tightened. Not wanting to move from their current position. When fear had all but paralyzed me, the new kid emerged from behind a large weeping willow tree. Sweating profusely.

I leapt forward and flung my arms around his neck. My fear ebbed. I didn’t care that we were strangers. Or that he seemed to have sweat pouring out of places I didn’t think sweat could come from. Though sweaty, he smelled good, like body wash and mint.

“Chloe,” he breathed after a moment. “Are you okay?” He grabbed my face with both his hands and gazed down at me.

His touch sent me reeling. Instantly calming. His eyes were a river of warm caramel. I hadn’t expected this reaction. All I could do in response was nod like an idiot.

“Good. We’ve got to get out of here. Now!”

Breaking from my trance, I sucked in a deep breath. “Let’s go.” My heart accelerated until I thought it would beat right out of my chest.

I fumbled for his hand in the splotches of moonlight. With his hand enveloping mine, a terrible howl exploded behind him. I lifted my head to peer over his shoulders.
What the hell was that?
I stopped breathing - I think he did also.

Without warning, the most grisly monster imaginable became visible behind him. My eyes bulged as I took in the beast. Saliva dripped from its open mouth. A small gasp escaped my lips. The monster lifted a bloody arm, ready to attack. Its ample-sized paws were similar to a bear. One, longer than the other, looked like a machete. The kind wielded by psycho killers who ripped a part over-sexed teens in gory movies. An ear-piercing scream my lips. I locked eyes with the new guy. His eyes held the same fear mine did.

Before we could run, the beast released a howl as loud as a freight train. The new guy squeezed my hand tight. I looked up into his eyes. His face was serene now. Unafraid. His lips were slightly turned up at the corners. My face scrunched in confusion.
Is he smiling?

Then the monster bolted toward us. It plunged its sharp claw into the back of the new guy. I watched. Weak. Defenseless. His beautiful face contorted in anguish.

“Oh, God! No!” I screamed. Blood spewed from his body and saturated my face. His body collapsed at once at my feet.

A loud hiss erupted from the beast. I wiped my hands on my pants, the new guy’s blood streaking down them. It was everywhere.

Then the hissing stopped.

My hands fell limp by my side.
Where had it gone?
With my only clean finger, I rubbed the remaining blood from my eyes. I had to see clearly the monster responsible for this crime.

It crouched before me.

If you die in a dream, do you die in real life?
This question plagued me as I faced the beast.
Please let me be dreaming.

It was gargantuan. But appeared hunched on its back legs and peered up at me. It sniffed me...as a dog might.
Determining if it should kill me, perhaps?
I swallowed hard to suppress a scream suspended on the tip of my tongue. I dug my long nails into the delicate skin on the palm of my hands.
Wake up, wake up, wake up…
I pierced the skin with my nails and didn’t stop digging, even as blood trickled down my hand.

It had an enormous head covered in fur, two large coal-black eyes that seemed to emanate its hatred of all things human. The other facial features were similar to that of a human man. Ears. Nose. And two charcoal-black lips pursed in vexation.

It reared up on its back legs and stood straight, as if to boost its size. It was mammoth. Standing at least 13 or 14 feet tall, it had to weigh more than a grizzly bear. More than two combined.

Caught in the depths of madness, I gazed up at it. Afraid to blink. I regarded it with absolute fear. It glared back with malice. As if it knew me and hated me. I strained from standing as rigid as possible, but my left foot cramped. I shifted my weight a miniscule amount to alleviate the pain of the cramp. The beast released a howl that blasted me in the face and nearly hurled me into oblivion.

Permanent damage to my ears seemed certain.

I held my breath, as the beast propelled its gnarled head to mine. Tears slipped from my eyes and blurred my vision. But I remained motionless. Panting. Frightened.

It pushed its massive head forward. I drew in a sharp breath from the stench it released. An odor like decaying flesh, urine, and feces combined. My tongue tasted of the vomit that rose up my throat. I swallowed hard. When our heads were parallel, it released a vicious snarl, exposing its large razor-sharp teeth. They hung over its mouth as it pulled back its lips and growled at me.

Receiving my own personal glimpse into Hell, the beast was intent on shaking me to the core. When I felt on the verge of passing out, it opened its mouth. Its lips turned up, almost into a grin. And it did the most shocking thing imaginable.

It spoke. “Who are you?”

Chapter 7

I’d been out of school for an entire week. Yet I couldn’t explain why I felt minimal pity for Zack’s real death yet emotionally crippled over the death of the new guy in my dream. I was disturbed by what happened to Zack. However, I was more shocked that I’d known about his death before it occurred than about his actual death. I sucked at being a girlfriend. Not that I’d wanted the role. But still…

Mother dropped me at school in her champagne-colored BMW 135i for my first day back. This act was more for the students and staff to regard her in a motherly manner than for my benefit, I was certain.

“Sweetheart,” she said, before I exited her vehicle. “Can you try to forget what happened for a while?”
Forget?
“You are young. You can bounce back from this.”
How would you know?
“I have seen girls who have been through much worse and not react like you have.”

“Mom, everyone’s different. You know that. I –”

“Okay, Chloe.” She took a deep breath. As if I were causing her some unknown physical pain. “I do not like to see you this upset. That is all I am saying. Have a productive day.” She said in her far-too-formal voice and released the locks on the door, signaling the end of our conversation and my immediate dismissal from her presence.

I cast my eyes down as I exited. Our relationship had deteriorated so badly. I didn’t want her to see the hurt evident in my eyes because of it. She didn’t even make an effort to understand me anymore. Why should I bother trying if she wouldn’t?

You can make it through this day, Carmichael
, I told myself as I skirted across the parking lot and up to the thick paneled doors of the school.

In the heart of the Upper West Side of Manhattan, tucked inside a residential neighborhood not far from Central Park, stood private school Whitney Young Middle and High School. The campus housed three main buildings. The administration building, the main middle and high school buildings, and four other buildings used to facilitate the needs of the school’s pampered students. I shuddered each time I opened the door.

I walked hesitantly to my locker on the junior strip.

Out of my peripheral vision, I noticed small clusters of students hanging back in the hall. Their gazes fixed on me. I swallowed hard and waited for the bombardment of questions. They didn’t come. Everyone stayed away for the moment. Thankful for this small reprieve, I wondered how long it would last.

I headed straight for my locker with my head down. Not wanting to risk an accidental stare at someone. I didn’t want to give them a reason to say something. When I elevated my head into the abyss of students, I stared straight at the new guy.” My mouth fell open. Maybe a part of me hadn’t expected to see him alive.

I didn’t know him, I reminded myself. Still, my heart pitter-pattered away an uncharacteristic beat. I wanted to sprint to him. Throw my arms around his neck. “You’re alive!” I wanted to shout. Instead, I sucked in a deep breath and tried not to stare like an insane person. I was having a hard time with it.

He leaned back on the locker next to mine with his earbuds on. Tall, I could really tell now, he had to be over six feet with blond hair in disarrayed perfection, and a flawless complexion, too. And through his tee, I could see his exceptionally formed physique.
Mmm.
I licked my lips. He wore dark jeans and a red tee. Ironically, I wore dark jeans and a red blouse.

I took a relaxing breath as I made the approach to my locker.
Please don’t say anything stupid, Carmichael.
He didn’t look up once I reached it. I probably didn’t exist in his perfect world. But to say I was aware of him would be an understatement. My heart threatened to expose me with its hurried beat.
Get a freakin’ grip.

I opened my locker to grab the book for my second period class. I stole a peek at my face in the mirror I’d hung on the door. My jet-black hair was pushed into a messy ponytail and my olive skin seemed pale. I’d seen better days. But my cocoa-brown eyes were alert. My eyes inadvertently traveled downward. Beneath the mirror was a picture of Zack and me at a football game two years ago. My throat tightened. I snatched it from the door and stuffed it behind two books at the top of the locker. I didn’t need the constant reminder of him every time I looked in here.

The day we’d taken the picture was embedded in my memory. How on top of the world we’d felt. It had been the last game of the regular season. We’d won the game because Zack faked a pass and ran the ball into the end zone himself for the touchdown. I sighed. Eventually, I’d miss him more. But for now – the new guy. I sighed even louder and slammed my locker shut.

“Hello. You’re Chloe.”

I gawked at the voice I heard. The echo of his words rang in my ears, spreading waves of warmth over me. In my dream, his voice hadn’t sounded this sweet, this melodic. I suddenly noticed that the new guy was holding his hand out for me to shake. My belly did a somersault.

“I–I’m Chloe.”
He knows that already, idiot.
“Oh, umm, you know that,” I stammered.

Embarrassed, I closed my mouth and took his hand. It radiated heat. I looked up into his eyes, like melted caramel just as they were in my dream, and I smiled ridiculously.

Was there such a thing as love at first sight? Could I be in love? I laughed internally. Stop that, Carmichael. You don’t know him and he’s just attractive. Smile and move on.

His lips curled up into the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen. All my limbs clanked to the floor below. I stared at him from the fragments of me that lay at his feet.
What’s wrong with me?
I grimaced internally.
Your pseudo boyfriend’s been dead for a week and you’re already trying to hook up with someone else.
You find him attractive, that is all.
You’re not hooking up with him.
Or anyone else in the foreseeable future.
Pull yourself together and stop acting like a psycho, Carmichael.

“You dropped this the other day in the attendance office,” he said. He still had that gorgeous smile plastered across his face. I had to remember to breathe as he handed me a small fuschia hairpin.

“Uh, thanks.”
Breathe in, breathe out…breathe in, breathe out
… “You really could’ve thrown it out. It’s not important.” I looked everywhere but at him. Afraid he’d see the pathetic longing through my eyes.

“Isn’t it? In my mind, it seemed important – just because it was yours.”

I peered up at him, confused. Was he flirting with me?
No,
I told my misguided heart. He’s being polite. Very polite.