Finding My Way (27 page)

As soon as the cold air seeps through my body, my drunken state rears its ugly head. The moment we step onto the bus, I realize just how alone I am. Everyone that I love is gone and it’s too late for me to go home and fix everything.

I walk straight to the kitchen and pull out the bottle of whiskey. I twist the cap and drink it neat.

“I don’t think you need that tonight,” Sam says, her hand calmly taking the bottle from me. I want to yell and scream at her, remind her that she’s my manager and nothing else, but I can’t. Her green eyes are boring into mine, they’re dangerous and heated. Her hand brushes against mine as she takes the bottle away from me.

“I’m lonely.” The words have more meaning than I’m willing to admit. She nods, understanding what I mean. She slides her jacket off, dropping it to the floor. Her fingers start at the top of her blouse as they nimbly work each button open. Her white lace bra is visible, exposing her voluptuous breast.

My hand shakily reaches out, my fingers touching her skin just above the lace. Her eyes close briefly before she looks at me again. I swallow hard, unsure if I’m supposed to be doing this or not.

Her hands go behind her back, the sound of her zipper the only thing competing with my labored breathing. I watch as her skirt pools at the bottom of her feet. I suck in a gulp of air at the sight of her black garter belt.

“Holy shit,” I breathe stupidly. She stands here in front of me, baring herself and that’s all I can say. “You’re fucking hot, Sam.”

She bites her lower lip, stepping out of her skirt. She walks toward my room as I watch her ass sashay in her thong. My erection is straining against my jeans, begging for attention. I bend down and pick up her clothes. The last thing I want is for the guys to come back and figure out what’s about to happen because for all I know this is against the contract and I’m probably getting us fired in the morning.

I shut my door behind me. There’s not a lot of room to maneuver. She stands before me, her bra straps sliding down her arms, leaving her breasts in full view.

“Holy, fuck me.”

“I plan on it, Liam.”

I fumble for the hem of my shirt, ripping it over my head. I move toward her quickly and capture my lips with hers not mindful of my busted lip. I hiss, but relish in the pain. I deserve it. She pulls at my belt and yanks the fly of my jeans open as my hands palm her ass. My fingers inch toward her pussy, feeling how wet she is. She wants me. She’s just not giving herself to me. Her hand rubs down my shaft giving me the friction that I need.

I spin her around and set us down on the bed. I sit up and shimmy out of my jeans, unlacing my boots as quickly as possible. Her legs are spread for me, inviting me.

“Are you sure?” I ask, as I reach for my wallet to pull out a condom.

“Yes,” she answers as she unhooks her garter belt and slides her thong down her legs. “I want this with you.” She kisses me hard, pulling me forward. I rest on top of her, letting her feel my weight before sitting back on my knees. I rip open the foil wrapper and sheath my erection.

“Who’s Jojo?” she asks, her fingers tracing the name inked on my skin.

“No one you’ll ever be,” I reply, capturing her lips. It’s only when she stiffens do I realize my mistake, but it’s too late. She’s already encased me and unless she tells me to stop, I’m not going to. I need this. I need this to feel whole again and not so broken.

Chapter 39

I
pull at my bow-tie as the limousine drives at a snail’s pace down Hollywood Blvd. I’ve been nervous a lot in the past year, but this time my nerves are frayed. I down a shot of whiskey from the bar and settle in my seat. My date, Valerie Penn, sits beside me looking out the window at the fans waving.

Tonight is a new adventure for us. About six months ago, one of our songs was chosen to be on a movie soundtrack. We didn’t think anything of it, thought it was cool and we went on about our business until Sam told us we were invited to the red carpet event. I wanted to blow it off, but she said it was important for our image and that we should want to walk the red carpet and greet the reporters and fans. If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past year or so, it’s to listen to what Sam says. Well mostly. I don’t listen to her when it comes to my love life because she’s not happy with my decisions, and that’s only because my decision doesn’t involve her. We slept together once, and it was a mistake. I was lonely and we were on the road. I just had my lip busted by an angry husband. Needless to say, it’s a night I planned to forget. Sam, sadly, had other ideas. At first, I didn’t think anything of it. She’d bring me breakfast in the morning and sit with me while I ate. She started taking me shopping and calling all the time to see how I was doing. She became more touchy-feely with her hand always on my arm or brushing my leg. I finally put a stop to it when she came over one night to drop off some paperwork and acted like she was too tired to go home. It hit me like a ton of bricks what she had been doing – trying to get back in my bed – and I wasn’t having any of it.

So I started casually dating. I’m not looking for anything too serious and it’s only with women who have some type of celebrity status so both of us can benefit. The women know this going in and more often than not, our publicists set us up. We both gain from our mutual interest in each other and there are no hard feelings when one of us wants to go in a separate direction. That’s usually me. I’m becoming bored very easily. A few have become clingers, but I’ve become too much of an ass to really care.

My car door opens and I reach for Valerie’s hand, pulling her behind me. We step out to massive screams. The sounds are deafening, but very welcomed. Sam assures me this will catapult us into super-stardom. She’s hoping that we’ll be headlining our own tour after tonight.

This is an A-list event and my relationship status will be confirmed in the press by this time tomorrow. Valerie has been my rumored girlfriend for a few weeks thanks to her publicist making sure we’re in the same place at the same time. Like I said, I don’t mind playing along. It’s fun for a while. Valerie’s beautiful and will make an amazing wife for someone, but not me. She agrees. We’re strictly friends when we’re off the camera. We have zero romantic chemistry at all.

I wave to the crowd and wait for Harrison to get out of his car so we can walk the red carpet together. His door opens and the decibel of the cheering moves up a notch to bordering at hysteria. Since we’ve done a few videos, Harrison has gained some fans. I think it’s great. It takes some of the spotlight off me.

He joins Valerie and me with his sister as his date. When Yvie reaches me, she goes up on her tiptoes and gives me a kiss on the cheek, much to the chagrin of the crowd. Yvie loves it. She’s had a crush on me since we met, according to Harrison, but I see her as a sister. It would probably make sense for us to date since we’re close in age, but the things I’ve seen and done in the past year ages me far beyond her reach. I may be only twenty, but I feel thirty.

Sam meets us and guides us to the crowd. Right now we’re only signing autographs. When we actually step onto the red carpet, the interviews and photos will start. Fans ask us for photos and Sam obliges, taking photo after photo until she tells us it’s time to hit the carpet.

Valerie and I step onto the carpet first, followed by Harrison and Yvie. Sam is in front of us with her clipboard out and an earpiece in. She’s talking to our publicist who is securing interviews along the carpet for us.

Photographers and journalists yell our names at the same time. I’m thankful for Sam and her list because without her, I wouldn’t know who to talk to. She knows where we’re supposed to go. She directs us to
Entertainment Weekly
. Harrison and I step up to the makeshift barricade, ready and willing to answer anything. Well almost anything. There are some questions that I refuse to answer and a simple shake of the head tells Sam that I’m ready to move on. Harrison does the same thing. We’re adamant that we won’t answer any questions about our family, especially my grandma.

“Well hello Liam Page and Harrison James,” the reporter coos our names as she bats her eyelashes, turning on the full charm. “Tell me boys, how are you enjoying your first premiere?”

I look around with a smile on face. “I’m loving it,” I respond. “Look at all the beautiful women.” I wink and cock my head sideways causing her to sigh. She blushes, score one for Page.

“You know I’ve heard about the Page Pantydropper and I do believe I just experienced it.”

I lean over the barricade slightly. “Well maybe I’m losing my touch because I definitely don’t see your panties down around your ankles.”

“O-wh-,” she steps away and fans herself. I wink at her one last time since Sam is pulling on my arm.

“Why do you do that, Liam?”

“What’s that Sam?” I look down on her. Tonight she’s not rocking her usual stilettos, which honestly is a bummer for me. I may have made the mistake of sleeping with her last year, but I can’t discount that she’s smoking hot and her heels turn me on.

“You flirt like they have a chance with you.”

I lean in, my lips grazing her ear. “Maybe they do. You know Valerie and I aren’t sleeping together and I get lonely.” I let my hand brush against her ass. I know what I’m doing and I’ll likely pay for it later with some epic off the wall rant, or she’ll turn totally emotional and cry in my ear for an hour.

I like Sam, I do. At times I wish she weren’t my manager because I’d probably date her. She’s confident, feisty and sexy as hell. But she’s a valuable asset and she’s helping me make a name for
4225 West
and that’s far more important.

T
he
Vogue
after party is in full effect when we arrive. How Sam scored us tickets to this event is beyond me, but I love it. Keeping with the façade, Valerie and I hit the dance floor. There’s an elite league of photographers allowed in so we are afforded some privacy at least.

I spin Valerie around and hold onto her hips while she grinds against me. It’s either flashbulbs or the strobe lights, either way I’m sure our pictures are being taken. This will appease everyone for a while until it’s time for both of us to move on.

I catch sight of Sam sitting at the bar. She’s not working the room trying to score us another deal or tour, she’s staring at me. It was probably a mistake, me flirting with her earlier, but she makes it so easy. She’s like putty in my hands.

Valerie turns in my arms. “I need a drink.”

I nod and place my hand on her waist as I guide her to the bar. She’s of age, I’m not, but I don’t get carded. Hell, I haven’t been carded since I arrived in Los Angeles. This place is a haven for turning a blind eye on underage drinking. I order her a martini and some whiskey for me. It blows my mind how I went from beer to hard liquor so quickly. The hard stuff numbs the pain and takes longer to wear off.

I hand Valerie her drink and notice a photographer getting close so I lean in and act like I’m telling her a secret. The flash goes off and now he’s moving on to his next pay dirt photograph.

Valerie leans into me and almost spills her drink. I rub my hand up and down her back. “Are you okay?”

Her head rests on my chest and barely moves. “I’m not feeling so great, Liam.”

I down the rest of my drink, placing it on the bar. Once I set her glass down I take her hand in mine and walk toward the exit. I’m hoping some fresh air will do her some good.

When we’re outside, I lean her up against the wall, but her head falls forward. “What the hell, Val?”

“I don’t know, but I’m sick, Liam.”

“Do you think someone spiked your drink?” I try to think of who would’ve had access, but the truth is, anyone. The bartender, the guy next to us where we were standing, hell even the waitress brushed up against us. The possibilities are endless.

She barely nods and it makes me want to go in there and punch the shit out of him. I know I have to take her home, but can’t just leave the party.

“I need to go tell Sam we’re leaving, but I’m not leaving you outside by yourself, can you walk back in with me?” Valerie stumbles two steps before falling into my arms. I’m more carrying her than she is walking at this point. As soon as we step inside, Harrison is at the bar, his lips attached to some blond.

“Hey man,” I say loudly enough to get his attention.

He turns and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. I have no idea who the chick is, but he’s digging her, so good for him.

“Val’s sick. I think that douche spiked her drink. I’m taking her home. Can you tell Sam what’s going on?”

“Yeah, no problem.” He slurs his words and turns his attention back to the blond. I eye her up and down and can’t really blame him.

I all but carry Valerie to a waiting limo. The driver hurries to the let us in. “Where to?” he asks. I give him directions to my place. There’s no way I’m letting her go home alone.

We arrive at the hotel where my penthouse is located. Sam found this place for me after my grandma died. It’s perfect for me. I don’t have to cook or do my own laundry and I have all the privacy I need. The security is also top notch.

I slide my keycard in and carry Valerie into the elevator. “I’m going to make you throw up when we get to my apartment. You need to get this shit out of your system.” She just nods. Her arms are limp around my neck. As soon as the door slides open I’m opening my door and rushing her to the bathroom. I set her down, helping her bend over.

“You have to stick your finger down your throat, Val.”

“I know, but leave please.”

“What?” I question.

“Leave me. I don’t want you to see me puke.”

It takes a moment for me to realize what she’s talking about, but when I do, I bolt out of the bathroom and turn on the stereo so I don’t have to hear her either. I don’t count the minutes while she’s in there, I just pace. Who the fuck spikes people’s drinks? Hollywood is a mecca for sex. Hell all you have to do is ask.

The bathroom door opens and I can already tell she’s better. There’s color in her cheeks and her eyes seem more focused.