Finding My Way (31 page)

She stops and holds a door open for us. My arm purposely brushes against her tits. She coyly bites her lip probably hoping I won’t notice, but I do. It’s been a while since I’ve been with someone, but after this morning with Sam and her perfume, I need to find a release and this one just might be it.

We sit down at the long conference table. Anthony and Sam sit across from us and at the end are the Capitol executives. These men are going to either make or break us. I’m praying that I walk out of here a happy man. If not, I need to seriously consider going back to Beaumont, but I don’t know what I’d do there. I have nothing to offer anyone.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen. We’ve just spent the last hour going over everything with your agent and manager and we’re happy to make an offer.”

Papers are slid toward us, each of us grabbing our own set. The words blur on the page after I read “five record deal”. Nothing else is making sense.
This
is what I’ve been working for.
This
is why I came here.

“Holy shit,” Harrison exclaims quietly as he turns the page. I follow suit and agree. We have creative freedom. Sam stays as manager, Anthony as our lead agent. And the money, it’s there. Harrison will be able to move out of his apartment and get Quinn a nice place. He’ll be able to help pay for Yvie’s ballet school and JD will be able to marry his girl, Chelsea. But most importantly someone likes my lyrics enough to want to buy them, and that right there is enough for me.

“Where do we sign?”

A collective sigh emanates throughout the room. Anthony claps and Sam pats him on the back. He can’t take all the credit though; Sam does a lot of the legwork. She may only be a manager, but she also doubles as our agent more often than not.

Pens are passed around and the final contract is placed in front of me. I sign my name willingly. Harrison is next and JD goes last. When JD came to us, he just wanted a place to play, didn’t care about anything else. His father is James Davis, a musician who’s been around for a while and his grandfather tells me that he played with mine. I took the old man for his word, not really interested in going through my grandma’s stuff to find out.

I never did get to sit down with her and talk about my mom and grandpa. I never found the time and always said I’d do it tomorrow. Thing is, tomorrow never came. I’m not sad about not knowing about him. I can’t go through my life regretting my decisions. Had I stayed in Beaumont, I would’ve known my grandma and she would’ve died alone in that big ole house on the hill. If I stayed, I’d be a mill-worker or a mailman and we’d probably have three kids and be heading for a divorce. I wouldn’t have been happy.

All the work, the blood, sweat and tears, the late nights and epic frustrations has all come down to this. The contract is sent back down to the other end of the table where it’s signed. The sexy little thing that helped us out earlier comes in and I get an eyeful of what she’s offering.

“Tonight, we celebrate,” Anthony says as he stands, placing his fedora on his head. For a man who has as much money as he does, you’d think he would take better care of himself, but no. He’s pudgy and is often caught rubbing his rounded belly.

Yes, I will be celebrating and I think it’s going to be with the hottie out in the hall.

“D
o you want to know my name?” she asks as my lips attack her neck. I push her up against the stall in the bathroom, ripping her nylons away from her body.

“No,” I breathe out. The last thing I want is her name. I don’t care. I just need her to scratch the itch and move on. No phone numbers will be exchanged and no, we won’t be going back to my place to cuddle. I need a quick and dirty fuck – that’s what this is.

I release my cock from the confines of my slacks, not even bothering to undo my belt or the button, zipper only. I fumble with the condom while trying to hold her. For as hot as she is, she’s a fish and just waiting for me to do everything. I move her panties slightly and plunge into her. I swallow her scream with my mouth, keeping my lips pressed to hers while pound into her. Her nails dig into the back of my neck. The pain is a welcome feeling. I want it. Crave it.

As I work her into a frenzy, her head falling back. She looks at me, her eyes hooded. She runs her fingers through my hair and I want to tell her to knock that shit off – it’s too personal – but I’m too focused on getting her off so I can come.

Her head falls forward again and her breathing picks up. Her body starts to react. I reach through our tangled bodies and find her swollen clit waiting to be stroked. I apply enough pressure to cause her to get a little wild. As much as any man enjoys sex, they’re usually hoping their partner is into it and she’s not.

Her walls start to squeeze me and I thrust harder, deeper until I’m spent. I pull her off of me and dispose of the condom. This was a mistake, yet another one to add to my long list of dumb things I’ve done. Once I’m tucked back in I open the stall door and head right to the sink to wash up. I have lipstick on my neck that needs to come off. I wash up, making sure there’s nothing on the front of my pants.

I stiffen when she saddles up behind me, placing her arms around my waist. I don’t want a clinger, but yet I have one. The bathroom door opens and for a minute I think we’re busted. I look at the mirror to find Sam standing behind us. Her eyes are pooling with tears.

“Fucking great,” I mutter.

“How could you?” she cries out.

I sigh. “Sam, we’re not together. I’ve told you this repeatedly.”

I turn and look at the girl who is shaking her head. “Why?” Sam asks, her lip quivering. I hate it when she cries and I feel the need to comfort her, but she has to know her boundaries.

“Are you really asking me why?”

She shakes her head. “You’re my best friend. We share an apartment. You know how I feel about him.”

I look from Sam to the girl and back again. This is not good.

“I’m sorry,” she says, grabbing a hold of my arm. I shake her free and step away.

“Look, I’m going to go.” I don’t wait to see how that mess in there is going to turn out. I bail, leaving everyone behind at the club.

Stepping out into the night air makes me realize that Harrison has it made. He gets to go home to someone who loves him unconditionally. Someone who lights up at the sound of his voice and makes him feel whole. I need that, and then maybe I won’t be such a shit all the time.

Maybe I should get a dog.

Chapter 44

Five Years since Beaumont

“W
hy the hell aren’t you on the plane?”

I hear her before I see her. The studio door swings open, crashing against the wall. It’s a damn good thing the walls are padded or there’d be a dent in there now. Sam stands there with her hand on the end of the door, her breathing is labored as if she’s just ran a marathon in her heels. Her face is red and blotchy, but there’s something different about her. I cock my head to the side in wonder before I realize what she’s done. My eyes have to be deceiving me. I stand slowly, dropping my headphones onto the ground. She’s gone too far this time. It’s one thing to start wearing
her
perfume, but to go and dye her hair the same exact color is something else.

I look into the other room and see that it’s empty. Both the sound techs and the producer have vanished leaving me alone to deal with a very pissed off Sam, which is fine. This is how I like it. I can take her on without any witnesses because she’ll just drag them into our twisted trap when she’s done. I’ve learned over the years that the one lonely night on the road has been the catalyst for a slowly self-destructing Sam. Apparently it’s my fault and the brief period when we dated, was the happiest she had ever been up until I subsequently left her. There’s no excuse for my behavior or none that I’m willing to make. Shit happened, I was young and that’s it.

Sam stalks forward with her finger pointing at me. When she stops in front of me, she stabs me. I try not flinch but her fake nail hurts. I breathe deeply through my nostrils. Today… no, this week is not the week to be messing with me. My chest puffs out in anger, but she doesn’t step back.

“I’m so sick and tired of your bullshit, Liam Page.” Her words are venomous with a hint of pain. If I play my cards right, I can get out of this without making her cry. That’s a win for me.

“What in the fuck are you talking about? I could ask you the same thing.” I bite back, the anger boiling in the pit of my stomach. What gives her the right to barge in here and assault me like this? Doesn’t she know what tomorrow is?

“I’m talking about how you’re not on the plane flying to New York City to do the interview with the
Today
show.” She rights herself and steps back from me. I don’t know if she’s trying to calm down or what. She clears her throat. “You have a contract obligation. There’s a red-eye flight tonight, you’ll be on it.”

“The hell I will,” I fire back.

“Excuse me?” her eyes are like daggers, piercing and cold. Her steely stare sends a cold chill down my back. I’ve never seen her like this. Her eyes are void of any emotion and her normal hue of brown is so dark I’d dare say they’ve turned black.

“I think you heard me and since I know you’re listening. Why the fuck did you change your hair color?”

“Don’t you like brunettes?” It’s a valid question, but one that isn’t getting an answer from me.

“Have you ever seen me with a brunette?”

She steps forward, her head shaking slightly. “No, Liam, I’ve seen you with blonds, red heads and a few with jet black hair, but never have I walked in on you getting your dick sucked by a brunette.”

“Maybe you should knock first.”

Over the years I’ve made major mistakes with Sam. It’s hard to say I regret them, but some I do. I should’ve never slept with her, period. We crossed the line and turned what was potentially a decent working relationship into hell. After my grandma died and she took care of everything, I didn’t question her. I should’ve. She’s listed as an emergency contact on my penthouse, so she always has access. I can’t change it and she uses it to her advantage. Thing is, I’m such a dick to her that I’ve made sure she’s caught me in the act, because it’s the only way to get through to her sometimes. She needs to see me with other women to know we’re never going to be an item.

“Well, if I knocked, I would have missed seeing your glorious body in the flesh.” Just like that her tone has changed. Her finger trails down the front of my shirt. I grab her hand and push her away.

“No more, Sam. You need to get that through your head and if you can’t, we’re done.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, it is.” I bend and pick up my headphones and set them on my stool. “What do you want?”

“I want you to show me the respect I’ve earned!” she screams. I turn in time to duck from her briefcase flying toward my head.

“What the fuck?”

“Get your ass on that God damn plane, Liam. I’m done with your diva attitude.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Sam. What part of that isn’t clear? You know better than to schedule anything this week. Harrison and JD can do the interview, they don’t need me.”

Sam begins to pace. I’m afraid to move for fear I won’t be able to dodge anything that she throws at me. I look out into the other room quickly to see if anyone’s back yet. I’d like to know what she told them to get them to leave. I could really use some interference right now.

“For years…” she sighs. Her back is to me and right now I think that’s more dangerous than her looking at me. I can’t see or read her expression from here. “I made you, Liam Page. You weren’t anything but a lowly teenage boy thinking he was going to make it big in the city. My dad,” she shakes her head. “He didn’t care. He respected your grandmother, but wasn’t going to give you a chance, until I saw you play.” She turns and faces me. She looks defeated and I’m trying not to care.

“I took one look at you and I saw something I could mold into a superstar, but you held back. You played like you were missing something. It didn’t take me too long to figure it out, but short of bringing her here…” she shakes her head, biting her lip as looks down at the ground. I process her words, wondering what the fuck she’s talking about. I have a feeling, but I don’t want to ask in case I’m wrong.

“I tried to be what you needed. I’m so much more than you ever gave me credit for. I know I’ll never be …”

“Be what, Sam?” I swallow hard, remembering the words I said to her the first night we were together, “someone you’ll never be”. The pit of my stomach is telling me that my worse fear is about to come true. She knows about my life back in Beaumont. The one I’ve tried to protect by forgetting. I don’t care if she knows about Texas and football, but Beaumont is off limits.

“Sam?” I say, pleading with her.

Her head snaps up, her eyes on fire. “I know I’ll never be like your precious Josephine. Is that what you want to hear Liam Westbury?”

I lurch and fight back the nausea. She knows, but how?

“How?”

She laughs and waves her hands in the air. “I’m rich, Liam. So fucking rich, yet I can’t have the one thing I want out of life and that’s love. I’m in love with you and at one time you were in love with me, but then you stopped. I can’t even buy your love because you’re so fucking hung up on someone who doesn’t want you. I’M RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF YOU. And you ignore me. I made you.” She stalks toward me and pushes me with both her hands. “I made you, Liam, not her. All of this is because of me and you can’t do something as simple as love me back, yet you pine away for that brunette like she’s your dying breath. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be here right now.”

I want to tell her she’s wrong, but she’s not. She discovered me and maybe if I had waited to see if anyone else wanted me things might be different, but they’re not. I chose Sam and everything that came with her and now I’m paying the price now. I’ve been gone far too long to pick up the telephone now and call. I don’t know if Sam’s been to Beaumont or not and frankly I’m too afraid to know.

“How?” I ask again.

“Private investigator. After that night on the bus when you told me she’s someone I’d never be, I had to find out who my competition was. It wasn’t hard once I went through your grandmother’s stuff and found out who your mom was.”