Finding You (By You #3) (23 page)

Sarah forced herself to think about something else. Every time she thought about that night in his arms, when he had shared with her what had happened, she teared up. She could feel the pain he had felt as if it were her own, and she didn't want Jeremy to ever have to feel that kind of pain again.

The restaurant was an elegant little steak house called
Perry's
that reminded her of the place she'd gone to with her parents on their last night in town. Billie and Oz were already seated at a table waiting for them when they walked in. Oz stood up, a huge smile on his face, to greet them.

"Sarah, you look beautiful," he said. He turned his grin to Jeremy. "And Jeremy, my friend, handsome as always." He waved a hand toward the table. "Please, join us."

Oz was wearing a suit very similar to Jeremy's. The only difference between the two seemed to be in the coloring, and she wondered if they had done that on purpose or if it had been an accident. But nothing surprised her more than when she looked at Billie. Her jaw dropped and her eyes threatened to pop straight out of her head when she saw her roommate actually dressed up, looking like...well, looking like a woman, instead of some goth, punk rocker chick.

"It's about time," Billie said, her forehead creased in a scowl. "I was starting to think we'd been stood up."

Billie's hair was actually hanging to her shoulders, instead of done up like it usually was. She even had makeup on that had more tones to it than her usual blacks and grays. Her dress was white and frilled out at the bottom, and a sparkling necklace hung around her neck.

"Wow, Billie. I didn't think you actually had clothes that looked like that. You look so--"

"Pretentious?" Billie cut in.

"--beautiful."

Billie rolled her eyes as Oz barked out a loud laugh.

"Have no fear--you should have seen what she
wanted
to wear," he said.

"There wasn't anything wrong with it."

"No, no. But tonight you look..." Oz shook his head, searching for the right word. "
Radiant
."

Billie rolled her eyes at him, but Sarah noticed the tinge of red that appeared on her cheeks. Apparently that scowl
wasn't
permanently fixed on her face.

"Can we just order some food or something? I'm starving."

Sarah bit back a tiny laugh as she slid into her chair next to Billie. Jeremy seemed to be struggling with the same issue when she shot a smile his way. His hand slid under the table and rested on her knee, the touch sending jitters through her. Sarah's smile widened and she wrapped her hand around his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

The four of them made small talk until the waiter came around and took their orders. Everyone except Billie seemed like they were in high spirits, but she was just as cantankerous as ever. She made snide comments every chance she got, and seemed even more annoyed that Oz did nothing but smile and laugh through them. It was almost as if she were trying to pick a fight with him, and he wasn't even being phased in the slightest.

After their food was brought to the table, Billie poked at it and took a few bites. Sarah had noticed that she'd ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, but she didn't even look like she was interested in eating it. A few minutes passed before she looked up from her meal and gave Sarah a serious look.

"I have to go to the bathroom," she said, fixing Sarah with a hard stare. Sarah gave her a confused look, not sure if she'd just done something wrong without realizing it. Finally, she let out a snort. "Aren't you going to come with me?"

"Oh," Sarah said, her brow rising. "Yeah, of course."

Sarah left her napkin on the table and shrugged at Jeremy as she grabbed her purse and chased after her roommate. Billie marched to the bathroom like she was late to an appointment, and when Sarah followed her in, she spun around, eyes glaring red and lips pinched together.

"What are you doing out there?" Billie said, pointing her finger at the door. "You're just going to hang me out to dry like that?"

Sarah fell a step back, her hands held up, defensively.

"Slow down, what are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb--you see how it's going. I thought you were going to help me, but I guess I was wrong."

"Help you do what?" Sarah frowned at her. Billie made it sound like they were supposed to have worked out some kind of plan beforehand, and Sarah had no idea what she was talking about.

Billie's eyes went wide and she threw her hands into the air.

"So this is the thanks I get? After everything I've done for you, you're just going to let me handle this all on my own?"

Sarah shook her head. "I have
no idea
what you're talking about. You know I'll help you, but you have to tell me what you need."

Billie snorted and pointed her finger at the door again.

"It's Oz," she said. "It's too much! I wanted you to come along so you could help me end it."

"Wait, you're trying to
break up
with him?"

That was even more confusing than all of the other outbursts Billie'd had in the last few seconds. Sarah could have sworn the actually
liked
Oz, not that she wanted to
break up
with him. Maybe she couldn't read her roommate as well as she had thought?

"Why did you think I invited you to dinner with us? This isn't some field trip for you and the boy-toy, I need your help!"

Sarah's face twisted in confusion, and she shook her head.

"I don't believe you. I've seen the way you look at him, and there's no way that you want to end it. Tell me what's really going on."

Billie's mouth fell open and she stared at Sarah in disgust.

"Don't tell me what I want to do, I can make my own decisions." Just then, the door opened and an older lady pushed into the restroom. Billie shot her the most hated, anger-filled look Sarah had ever seen. "
Get. Out
." The lady jumped in place, and stood frozen until Billie took a menacing step toward her. Then she turned and ran out without saying a word.

"Billie, that wasn't necessary," Sarah groaned, feeling bad for the lady, who was probably already on her way to management to report the two crazy ladies in the bathroom. Sarah fixed Billie with a hard, scrutinizing look. "Let's cut the games. Why don't you tell me what's really going on?"

"There's nothing to talk about. I need to end it, and I need you to help me. I can't do this on my own."

"You can't do it on your own because you don't want to do it in the first place."

Billie scrunched her face up like it was the most absurd thing she'd ever heard.

"I'm not the...girlfriend...type. This isn't my thing." Her face twisted as she said it, like something bitter had just been shoved in her mouth.

Sarah had to bite back a laugh. "It doesn't have to be a
thing
. It's like I said--if you like him, and he likes you, then why try and fight it?"

"Because it doesn't feel right. He's just too...well, you've seen him. We don't go together. I like to go out and have a good time...and he's an engineer."

"If I remember correctly, you both met at a frat party that
he
was throwing."

Billie waved a hand. "That was a one time thing." She tried to dismiss it, but Sarah could see that she was getting through to her. Billie chewed on her lip and looked at the floor, and Sarah had to bite back another laugh. It wasn't polite to make light of someone else's turmoil, no matter how trivial or amusing it seemed at the time.

Sarah slid up to her and rubbed her on the back. Billie tried to shrug her hand away, but it was just for show, and Sarah knew it.

"Why are you trying to fight it so much? Why won't you let yourself be happy?"

"I'm happy on my own," Billie said. "I don't need anyone else."

"No one's saying you
need
him. But it's not such a horrible thing to let someone into your life."

She shook her head, still chewing on her lip. "It's not the same for me.
We're
not the same."

Sarah frowned. Billie had been through a lot in her life. When they'd first met, Sarah was convinced she was the biggest bitch of a roommate that anyone could possibly ever have, but it hadn't taken long for her to find out what was really going on. After everything had happened with Huck, when Sarah had been about to pack it in and head home, it had been Billie that had stopped her. She'd told her about everything she'd been through with her mom, about how she'd left home when she was only sixteen years old and somehow still managed to make something of herself. Sarah had seen her in a different light, then.

Standing in the bathroom with her, seeing the anguish played out on her face, Sarah was seeing her in a new light once again.

She was a bitch because it was her way of protecting herself. She kept people at arm's length because she was always ready to leave them--just like she'd had to leave her own mother. It was self-defense in its most primitive form. How could you trust someone when the one person that was supposed to be there for you had all but abandoned you?

Sarah wrapped her arm around Billie's shoulder and pulled her close, ignoring her half-hearted attempt to shrug her away, again.

"It's okay to let him get to you," Sarah said. "You don't have to always be on the run."

When Billie looked up at her, all of the anger in her face washed away. Her lips were in a thin frown, and her eyes were pleading.

"But, what if he doesn't...you know...feel the same way?"

Sarah shook her head. "Did you see him out there? Every time you tried to pick a fight he just laughed it off like you were making some kind of joke--or like you were just being yourself. He sees exactly who you are, and if he hasn't run away yet, he's not going anywhere."

"But, how do you know? How do you know he's not going to turn out like Huck? How do you know things won't change, or he won't find someone else?"

Sarah gave her a weak smile and shrugged her shoulders. "You don't. You just put yourself out there, and then hope for the best."

Billie chewed on her lip a while longer, still torn about what she was supposed to be feeling. Sarah wished there was a way to make her feel better, but it was something she was going to have to work through on her own.

"Hey, I have an idea. Tonight there's this rave thing, and Reagan and Tate wanted us all to go. Why don't you and Oz come with? Then you can see how much fun he really is."

Billie's back straightened and her eyes narrowed, suspiciously. "Is it Rave Fest?" Her voice was more serious and grave than it had been a second before, and Sarah's brow scrunched together as she nodded. "How do you know it's tonight? Why didn't you say something earlier?"

Sarah shrugged. "I just found out a bit ago. Tate was going on and on about some big announcement."

Billie grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a shake. "Why didn't you
say
something? We need to go, I have to get ready. Where is it? Did he say? How much time do we have?"

Billie glanced at her watch as Sarah let out a laugh.

"Relax, we have plenty of time. Tate wants us to meet up with them after dinner, and we'll head out from there."

"Are you crazy? I can't go looking like
this
." She gave Sarah a once over, as though just realizing what she was wearing, too. "And you definitely shouldn't go looking like
that
."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sarah said, her mouth falling open.

"You just look like an expensive prostitute, is all."

Sarah gasped and gave her a shove on the shoulder, which drew an even angrier stare from Billie.

"You look fine," Sarah started. "
I
look fine, too. Don't worry about it." She let out a frustrated sigh, before giving her another serious look. "Are you okay with everything else, though? You're not going to try and sabotage things with Oz are you?"

Billie's angry stare washed away as soon as Sarah mentioned his name, and her brow creased with concern. She considered the question for a moment, before giving an uncertain nod.

"We'll see how it goes tonight. Maybe if he doesn't completely embarrass me I'll find a way to keep him around."

Sarah grinned. "I'm sure he won't let you down." Billie let out a disgusted snort, but didn't issue any more complaints. "Besides, Tate seems to think this is going to the be the party of the year. So I'm sure we'll have a night to remember, either way."

The look in Billie's eye told Sarah that she had it all wrong. She hooked an arm around Sarah's shoulder as they walked out of the restroom.

"You still have a lot to learn, young one. If tonight's as good as I've heard, we won't be
remembering
anything."

Sarah had to let out a laugh. She didn't know when, and she didn't know how, but she'd made one of the most unlikely friendships in Billie she would probably ever have. The girl might be rough around the edges, but she was also fiercely loyal in ways that you could never expect.

Jeremy and Oz gave each other awkward smiles as they waited for the girls to come back from the restroom. It's funny how their situation had changed so quickly when they started dating other people. Normally they were the best of friends, but that night it was different. That night they were Sarah's and Billie's boyfriends. It was a subtle distinction, but one that both men were wary of.

Just then, he saw the girls heading back. Oz had a big grin on his face, and he stood to hold Billie's chair for her--Jeremy was quick to do the same for Sarah. In that regard, both men were very similar.

He gave Sarah a puzzled look when she sat down, wondering if everything was alright, and she reassured him with a smile and a wink.

"We were beginning to wonder if we should come look for you," Oz said, with a deep laugh.

Billie shot him one of the same scowls she'd been giving him all night, but with one glance at Sarah it turned into a tight smile.

"We don't need help going to the bathroom, we've been doing it all our lives," she said.

"Ah, yes, of course," he boomed, with another chuckle.

Now that they were all sitting, the waiter circled around with a dessert menu. Everyone declined, but it gave a breath to clear the air at the table. Things had been getting quite awkward between Oz and Billie, but it seemed like the girls had had a heart to heart, and relieved some of that tension.