Finished (5 page)

So Julia was feeling exceptionally good when she was led back to her bedroom, undressed, and given a thorough, delicious massage by two pairs of strong, masculine hands.

When they’d massaged her whole body, she was limp, drowsy, and totally relaxed. And convinced nothing had ever felt better in her life.

But then it got even better. They started to kiss and caress her. She came with both men suckling a breast. Then she came again with Mike’s tongue in her mouth and Drayton’s tongue on her clit. Then she came again leaning back against Drayton, who was holding her open so Mike could fuck her with his tongue.

Her orgasms were full, rich, and powerful—but without the agonizing need to scream. And for a blissful hour, her whole world was made up of her boneless, pleasured body and the two men who were making it feel so good.

She was so wet it was almost embarrassing, and her arousal kept deepening each time they brought her to climax. When they made her come again—this time with both of their fingers inside her stretched pussy—she thought she might blackout from the pleasure of it.

To keep herself from melting away, she focused enough to see that both men were strongly aroused themselves. Mike was tense and damp with perspiration, and Drayton was flushed in a way she recognized very well.

“You’re going to kill me,” she groaned, sprawled naked in the middle of her bed. There was a wet spot on the sheet beneath her from her fluids but she didn’t even care. “Somebody better fuck me soon.”

Mike turned her onto her side and scooted her against him until he was spooning her from behind. After freeing his cock, he lifted her upper leg so he could slide himself home.

She moaned in pleasure at the penetration and bent forward to deepen the connection. She mumbled and gestured at Drayton, who must have understood—because he unzipped and readjusted his position so that she could take his cock in her mouth.

She sucked as well as she could in her pleasure and alcohol-induced haze. Drayton didn’t seem to mind the occasional loss of rhythm, since he soon was groaning and thrusting into her mouth. Mike fucked her pussy, holding onto her firmly so he wouldn’t lose the position. And Julia mumbled and moaned around Drayton’s hard cock until she came again. And then another time when Mike reached around to rub her swollen clit.

Mike came first, biting off an exclamation that sounded like her name. And then Drayton came into her mouth with a satisfied groan.

They all collapsed in a tangle of limbs afterwards, and she felt hot and safe and secure in between the two men she was so crazy about. She couldn’t imagine why she’d been so afraid on Saturday night. She’d overreacted, as usual.

All three of them were committed to working through their problems. And what could be wrong with something that felt so incredibly good?

“That was out of this world,” she managed to gasp out. “I feel truly and thoroughly pampered.”

Drayton chuckled, and Mike pulled her back against him so he was spooning her again. She turned around to look at him and saw that his brown eyes were both sated and sober. “Thank you, Mike,” she whispered, knowing he would understand. Knowing that he had initiated this evening so she could feel more secure about their relationship.

“You’re welcome.” He leaned up to kiss her gently.

Drayton cleared his throat. “I thought maybe I had a little bit to do with this too,” he said in an exaggeratedly aggrieved voice.

Julia giggled and turned around to hug him too. “Thank you too.”

They lolled about in bed for a while, relaxing and stroking each other. Until Julia felt secure enough to begin, “Drayton?”

“Hmm.” He was sucking on her fingers with idle leisure.

“I wouldn’t mind hearing about the necklace-thing. Why you gave one to that woman and why you have another one too.”

Mike had been caressing her hip and bottom, but at her question his hand grew still.

Drayton’s eyebrows arched. “You’re still on that, are you?”

“Well, it was weird, and I’m curious.”

“I wouldn’t mind hearing about it myself,” Mike put in.

Drayton gave a faint sneer. “Ganging up on me now?”

“Don’t be that way, Drayton,” Julia said, cursing herself for even bringing up the question when they’d been having such a good evening. “You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want. We all know there are no emotional obligations here. But you’ve got to realize we’re going to wonder about it.”

“I’ll tell you,” Drayton said. “I will. But give me some time. Certain aspects of my history are…hard.”

He looked from Julia to Mike and back again. “And it has nothing to do with what we have here.”

***

Drayton’s refusal to tell them about the necklace made Julia even more curious about the secrets he kept. She couldn’t stop thinking about it. The following day, she could barely concentrate on work. Her mind kept drifting back to Drayton—to all the inexplicable details about him and his behavior.

She really needed to talk to someone about it—someone who wasn’t involved in the situation. So she called up her best friend, and they arranged to meet for margaritas at a Mexican restaurant after work.

When Julia arrived, Helen already had a table. She was sitting behind a stack of papers and was busily marking up one of them.

It wasn’t surprising. Helen taught English at a local college, and she always had grading with her to work on in her spare time.

“How is it?”

“C,” Helen said, grinning up at Julia as she slid into the booth across from her. “Boring and mediocre, but not atrocious.”

A flirtatious waiter came over to take their drink orders, but Helen didn’t waste any time after he’d left. “So how are the boys?”

Julia made a face.

“Trouble in threesome paradise?”

Last year, Helen had been the most immediately accepting of the development of Julia’s non-traditional relationship. She’d always teased and been curious about the dynamics of the threesome, but she’d never made Julia feel weird or wrong for living with two men.

So Julia filled in her friend on what had happened over the last week, and Helen listened with quiet thoughtfulness until she’d finished.

“So you’re confident that Drayton wasn’t cheating on you guys?” Helen asked at last, after taking a long sip of her margarita.

“Yeah. Maybe it seems weird to take him at his word when he’s obviously keeping secrets, but I believe him. And I think Mike does too. You know how good Mike is at reading people.”

Helen nodded, acknowledging this truth, and pushed her glasses farther up her nose. She wore contacts about half the time, but she looked adorable in her glasses. She was pretty, blonde, and curvy. Helen had a sharp mind, and she wasn’t above taking advantage of those whose initial impressions were that she was a ditz. “So we have the strange woman he has a history with and gave a necklace to, and his generally unforthcoming behavior for the last couple of months. The simplest explanation is that it’s an old relationship gone wrong. Maybe she’s blackmailing him.”

Her tone had been light, but Julia took the suggestion seriously. It would fit some of the facts and the general mood she’d sensed between Drayton and the woman. “Huh,” she said. “Maybe so. What would she be blackmailing him about?”

“Who knows? But I’m sure that man has done some dubious things in the past.”

Julia gave a half-smile. “Vanilla he is not, but the thing about Drayton is that he’s always been honest about what he is. He’s not ashamed of the gray in his nature. Why would he allow himself to be blackmailed?”

“I don’t know. What does Mike think?”

Julia felt a familiar drop in her gut. “I’m afraid Mike is wondering if our whole relationship is falling apart.”

“Is it?”

“No!” The one word was sharper than Julia had intended. “I mean, I’m not convinced it has to. But it’s…stressful.”

“It would have to be.” Helen’s expression was sober and sympathetic, without her typical dry irony. “It’s hard enough to reconcile
two
people’s wants and needs in a relationship. With three…”

Julia knew the comment wasn’t a judgment, but she couldn’t help but feel a little defensive. “It can work. We arranged things on purpose so there are no emotional obligations.”

“Yeah, but it seems like it’s getting emotional, even if it’s supposed to be avoiding all that. We’re talking about people, and people are always complicated. Two people is hard enough, but you have to deal with three people’s feelings, possessiveness, and self-interests.”

Julia didn’t respond immediately, as she thought about the comment and acknowledged it as true.

“And with your two guys, I wonder if it would be even harder.”

Stiffening, Julia asked, “What do you mean?”

“It wasn’t an insult. Please don’t get mad. You know how horribly jealous I am of you for having two sexy, fantastic guys when I don’t even have one. I just mean that they’re both alpha males, and that’s bound to cause some conflict.”

Julia frowned. “Mike’s not really alpha.”

“He certainly is. He’s not as obvious about it as Drayton, and he took a backseat role to begin with—but you can’t tell me he’s willing to submit in anything that’s important to him.”

“Well, no. I just meant he’s…he’s…sweet,” she concluded lamely.

Helen smiled, almost mischievously. “He is that. But he’s also strong. And possessive.” Before Julia could object to this, she added, “I’m always halfway expecting him to break out into his
aristeia
or something.”

Julia narrowed her eyes. “
Aristeia
? You know I hate when you do that.”

“Sorry,” Helen said with a little laugh. “That’s something from Greek epics. Where a hero breaks out in the middle of battle for his moment of glory. He dominates completely, like he’s possessed by something bigger than him. I always have this sense that Mike’s going to break out like that eventually.”

Julia just shook her head, vaguely disturbed by the thought.

Then Helen said in a more serious tone, “Think about it. If he wants something, he’s not going to give it up easily.”

“That’s true. But it’s never been a problem in our relationship. He’s always wanted what we have.”

Helen looked like she wanted to say something more, but then she shook her head and shifted the subject. “And Drayton…”

“What about Drayton?”

“You know I like Drayton, so please don’t bite my head off. But I’ve always thought he was a little self-seeking. I don’t mean he doesn’t care about you or want you to be happy, but he also really wants to make
himself
happy. And, to him, that means being completely free. If it came down to a choice…”

Despite her resolve to be mature and reasonable, Julia couldn’t help but bristle at this apparent insult to Drayton. But she bit back her immediate reply and made herself take the comment seriously. “I can see why you think that—really, I can. It’s just his manner. It’s one of the things that makes him so…so irresistible. But it’s not who he really is. You’ll just have to trust me on that.”

“Okay.” Helen backed down immediately, her brown eyes wide and sincere. “I believe you. You know him better than I do. I guess my only point is that this kind of relationship has to be complicated—even in the best of circumstances. And you guys haven’t made an emotional commitment, so it’s going to take a lot of trust and honesty to make the thing work. You just have to decide whether it’s worth all of the effort.”

“It is,” Julia said without hesitation. “And I think it can even get better. I want it to.”

Helen grinned and finished off her margarita. “So tell me more about this pampering session they gave you. I spent the weekend with freshman essays, so I need details, please.”

***

A couple of days later, Julia had lunch with Drayton. It was his idea, and she was happy to oblige, since it seemed like he was really making an effort to mend any potential rifts between them.

When she asked if she should ask Mike to join them, Drayton said he was busy, so she and Drayton had lunch on the terrace of a restaurant near her work.

It was a pleasant, sunny day, and Julia had a good time—since Drayton was at his most charming and funny.

She was feeling so relaxed and happy that, after they’d finished, as they sipped the last of their drinks—Julia had sparkling water and Drayton had wine—she found herself saying something she’d never intended to say.

She was smiling at Drayton, thinking she needed to spend more time with him like this, since she’d been focused a lot more on Mike than on him lately, when he asked into the silence, “What are you thinking about?”

“You,” she admitted, putting down her glass and leaning back in her seat. “Us. Our relationship. Do you ever want any more than what we have?”

She had no idea why she’d voiced the question that had been lingering in her mind for a couple of months now. She knew it went beyond the bounds of their established relationship. But it was honest, and Drayton felt safe at the moment. She really wanted to know.

He blinked slowly. Glanced away for a moment. Then turned back to meet her gaze. “I’m happy with the way things are.”

She gave a little nod, feeling a drop of disappointment. “Oh. Okay.”

“Aren’t you happy?”

“I am. I mean, what girl wouldn’t want great sex with two amazing guys. But, still, sometimes I wonder…it just sometimes feels like something is missing.”

He shook his head and leaned toward her. “Nothing is missing. Everyone, in any kind of relationship, sometimes wonders if something is missing. That’s because life can never offer us everything. We choose what’s most important to us and accept that there are some things we’ll never have. If you have some romantic notion about getting everything without giving up anything, you’ll always be disappointed. Life isn’t about perfect happy endings. They just don’t exist. It’s about choosing. And then about giving up what we don’t choose.”

She thought about his words and then nodded slowly. “Yeah. I know you’re right about that. But don’t you ever want to be close to us—with more than just your body.”

“I am close to you.”

“But we’ve got all these boundaries about emotional obligations. There are established limits to our closeness, and sometimes it bothers me.”