Fire In Her Eyes (14 page)

“Baby girl, talk to me,” I plead.

She gets out of the car and comes flush to my body. “Don’t ever fucking call me that again! Don’t ever fucking touch me again! Don’t ever fucking think about me again! You have hurt me more than Dylan ever could have! I loved you, Spencer Grady, and you fucking spit on that.”

She turns and gets back into her car. She starts it up and pulls out of the driveway. All the while I’m just standing there. I feel like the biggest tool on the planet right now. I just threw away the best thing that ever happened to me.

I walk back into the house in a daze. She said she loves me. When you hear those words out of a girl like Harley, you should cherish it.

What do I do? Fuck someone else. I know I was going through a lot at the time, but that’s not an excuse. God, I should be put down.

Marissa is sitting on the couch in her expensive clothes looking all prim and proper. If the world only knew what a kink she was in the sack.

“Get the fuck out. I never want to see you again.”

She looks shocked for a second, then quickly grabs up her purse and runs out the door. Good fucking riddance. Richard appears in the door way and looks around in confusion. “What’s all the noise about?”

I just shake my head and fall to the ground. My chest hurts and I can’t catch my breath. She’s gone. She won’t ever forgive me for this. It might be rightfully so, but I’m selfish because I still want her to put up with me.

My mom sits down in front of me and puts both of her hands on my face. “What’s wrong Spencer? You are scaring us.” She says it so calmly that it fucks with my head.

 
Why is she so calm? Harley isn’t mine anymore. Mom uses her thumbs to wipe away wetness from under my eyes. I’m fucking crying? “I cheated
on Harley...she’s gone, mom.”

Chapter 18

Harley

No tears come. I think I would at least cry about this, but I’m not. I keep thinking back to the pain on his face. It gives me a small thrill to remember it. He should be hurting. He should be burning in hell. He has been feeding me such bullshit for the past month; telling me that he will always be there for me. He would never hurt me. Fucking dick.

I had no destination in mind when I left my house. So I’m surprised that my mind took me somewhere at all. I should have kept driving until I was so far away no one would ever find me. What do I really have going for me here anymore? Everyone I know looks at me with pity or guilt. Well, Spencer didn’t, but his ass doesn’t matter anymore.

Mason doesn’t look at me that way either. I guess that’s why I’m sitting outside his house. I have been spending quite a bit of time with him over the past month. I like the fact that he doesn’t make me talk about what happened. He doesn’t make me feel weird about it either. Mason just lets me...be.

I get out of the car and walk up to the house. It’s a one-story and painted light blue. It has dark blue shutters on the windows and a white front door. I see Mason’s brown hair appear in the window on the door before he opens it. “What’s up, sweetie?” He asks me as I walk up to him.

I don’t know what it is, but I see his face and just break down. I throw my arms around his neck and the tears finally come. I was seriously starting to think something was wrong with me. “He slept with someone else when I was in the hospital,” I sob out.

Mason tenses and you can almost feel the ripple of anger run through him. “How did you find this out?” He says it with a calm voice, but I know calm is the farthest thing away from what he actually is.

“She came here to talk to him. I was listening to their conversation from my bedroom. He didn’t want me to find out.” I’m sobbing harder now. I keep praying that the tears falling from my eyes are washing away my love for Spencer, but they aren’t. I still love the stupid fucker.

“Of course he didn’t want you to find out. Not only would it hurt you, but he would lose you in the process.” He sighs and leads me into the house.

I feel a tissue pushed into my hand and look up to see Lucy standing there. Her eyes are shinning with tears, so I know that she heard what I told Mason. She pulls me into her arms and I go willingly. This is the kind of pity I can take. “You don’t know how hard it is for me not to go beat the crap out of him,” she whispers into my ear.

I bark out a weak laugh. Lucy wouldn’t hurt a fly, which makes her relationship with Mason strange. He leads a gang for crying out loud.

Which reminds me, “Mason, don’t do anything to him, okay? I know that you want to but, please, for me, just let it go. I’ll move on and he will just be a blip on my radar.” I say this, but I know it’s easier said than done. Only he had the power to hurt me when I was already down.

My cell phone starts buzzing in my shorts so I fish it out. My dad’s face looks back up at me and I hit ‘decline.’ I haven’t really talked to him since that day he told me about what my mother did. I know he only blurted it out because he was upset with me, but it still stung nonetheless.

“Your dad?” Lucy asks me with her arms still wrapped around my waist. I nod and pull away. I sit down on the grey couch in the middle of the living room. I take off my flip flops and place my feet on the black coffee table sitting in front of the couch. “This so completely blows,” I state.

Lucy comes
to join me on the couch. “Want to
call the girls over? We can pig out on junk food and watch stupid girly movies,” she says hopefully.

The four of us haven’t been together since I got raped. I don’t know why. I think what happened to me changed a lot about my friends. I talk to Lucy way more now than I did before. I may have talked to Carter once or twice on the phone, and she only came over when I got out of the hospital.

 
Carter can’t handle sadness and pain, and even though I was there for her shortly before this all happened, she can’t be bothered to be here now. I guess it takes a great tragedy to find out who your true friends are.

Before you think that I’ve only seen Lucy because I have been hanging out with Mason, don’t. Lucy calls me every day. She comes over all the time. Mason has nothing to do with it. She may look at me with pity, but I would rather have that than have her abandon me. “How about just you, Mason and me? I don’t really feel like having everyone over. Paige will bring Dean and Carter will bring Liam. I just can’t handle all that right now.”

She nods before we hear Mason’s angry, raised voice coming from the front yard. “What is he yelling at?” Lucy asks out loud. I shrug my shoulders and get up to go look out the window.

Mason is standing in the middle of the yard on his cell phone. He is yelling and I can catch a cuss word every now and then. “I don’t know who he is yelling at, but I sure hope they have insurance to cover a psychia
trist for PTSD. Jesus Christ!”

Spencer

“How could you be so stupid, Spencer?!” My mom yells at me from beside the stove. After my breakdown on the floor of the living room, we moved the party to the kitchen. Oh, what a party it is. Richard has been silent the whole time. You might think that it’s a good thing, but you would be wrong. His face is contorted in anger. I have a feeling I will be getting the shit beat out of me today.

“I wasn’t in a good place that day, Mom. Marissa was coming on strong and I couldn’t handle the memories of Harley’s face and what Dylan said to me. I just wanted it all to go away.” I stopped crying a while ago, but I feel new tears choking up in the back of my throat. I never thought I would be this guy. I never thought in a million years that I would cheat on someone.

“I understand where you are coming from, but you still did this. I can only hope you didn’t put a damper on Harley’s recovery.” My mom has this way of making me feel like I kille
d every single puppy and kitten
on the face of the earth.

“Never mind all that. We need to find Harley. She wouldn’t answer her phone when I called her earlier.” Richard looks panicked, but I know where she is. There is only one place she would go that I won’t follow.

“She went to Mason’s. She has been hanging out with him for the past month. I’ll give him a call to be sure.” I didn’t wait for an answer. I just walked out into the living room, pulling out my cell phone.

Mason answers on the third ring. “You have a lot of nerve calling me after what you did.”

“I know, man. I just want to know if she is there.”

“Yes, she is here. She is in there crying her eyes out on Lucy’s arm. You don’t even know what you had, Spencer. I’m just fucking stunned at what you did.”

I flinch. It hurts to hear that kind of thing. It also makes me angry.

“Do you even know what you have? You’ve been sniffing around Harley for so long I don’t think you even realize.”

The phone goes silent but I know he is still there. After a while, he answers me. “I’m going to let that go, Spencer. I know you’re fucked in the head right now. I will say this t
hough, I’m with Lucy and I will
always be with Lucy. Harley is a good friend. A
good
friend I would do
anything
for. Just remember that.” Then the line goes dead.

“Go get her, Spencer. You make her feel good enough to come home. I don’t want her staying out of this house just because she doesn’t want to be around you,” Richard says from behind me.

“Yes, sir,” I reply.

*****

The drive to Mason’s is about 20 minutes. My fingers drum against the steering wheel the whole way there. I’m about to get my face kicked in for coming over here. Mason doesn’t like me at all. I don’t think he ever has.

I slowly make my way out of my truck and shut the door. Before I can even take a step toward the front door, Harley comes running out with…fucking shit…with a baseball bat in hand. I cover my head before she reaches me, but it’s not me she swings at. It’s my truck. The truck that I spent an entire summer working my ass off at my uncles shop for. It’s also the only vehicle I have.

“You fucking piece of shit!” Harley yells right before her bat connects with my windshield. I hear the glass cracking.

“I hate you, Spencer Grady! I fucking hate you!” Since my head is covered by my arms, I didn’t see her pull out a gun. I hear four pops before all is silent. Well, for a second, anyway. I hear the bat hit one of the windows or the back glass, I’m not sure. “What we had was special! How could you do this to me?”

She is sobbing as she crashes the bat into my truck. I can’t take it anymore. I get up off the ground and walk over to her. I grab her wrist before she can smack the bat into anymore of my truck. “Calm down, baby girl, just calm down,” I say in a soothing voice.

She tenses when I say “baby girl” but I can’t bring myself to care.

“Don’t fucking call me that. You don’t have the right anymore. Go find Marissa and call her baby girl,” she all but screams in my ear.

“I don’t want her to be
my baby girl. I want you. It will always be you, Harley. I don’t want any other hot-headed, stone-cold chick but you. You are my everything and always will be. I can’t take back what I did, but I will go the rest of my life trying to win your forgiveness.” I place a soft kiss on her forehead. I keep my arms around her because I’m not ready to let go.

I’ll never be ready to let go.

Chapter 19

Harley

 
I know he means what he says, but it’s not enough. I feel as if my heart was wrenched from my chest and stomped on. How can you even go about forgiving someone for cheating on you while you’re in the hospital for being raped? You fucking don’t, that’s how.

I’m not calm enough yet to speak to him. I want to tell him to fuck off and punch him in the face, but I decide that’s not a good idea. I already went psycho-Carrie Underwood on his truck. I take a few calming breaths and look into his pale blue eyes. They are full of pain and longing. Good. He should be in pain.

“You will never win my forgiveness, Spencer Grady. What you did was unforgiveable,” I say coldly.

He flinches but doesn’t let me go. We are staring into each other’s eyes, pouring out all the pain and hurt we feel in just glances.

Then he does the one thing I least expect. He kisses me. He slams his lips onto mine rather roughly. They are soft and warm and send a small thrill through me. I don’t want to kiss him back, but my body, or rather, my lips have other ideas. His tongue shoots out to lick my bottom lip for entrance and I let him in. Maybe it will be one last kiss for us. Maybe it will be enough closure for me to finally let go of who I thought he was. Maybe I didn’t even know who he really was to begin with. I have known him my whole life, but what did I really know about Spencer Grady?

I curl my tongue with his and feel an old feeling flame up in my stomach: desire. Figures, when I don’t want it back it comes on full force, and for this fucktard I’m kissing. He grabs a belt loop on my shorts and pulls my hips flush with his. I can feel his erection pressing against my thigh and I sigh into his mouth. My hands have a mind of their own as I push them up his chest, over his shoulders, and into his soft black hair. I tug on the short locks making him moan. I shallow the sound and pull on his hair harder.