Following You (The By You Series) (11 page)

Cars weren't allowed that far into campus, and the sound of the water drowned every other noise out. Even though the two weren't the same at all, the fountain reminded her of the river back in Green Falls, it reminded her of home. She could still remember all those summer days of her childhood spent at the river with Huck and Maggie. Would life ever be that simple and carefree, again?

Sarah got so lost staring into the fountain, that she didn't even notice Huck was standing next to her. When she looked at him, he gave her a tiny smile.

"I didn't even see you come up," she said.

"You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to disturb you." She gave him a soft smile.

"I was just thinking about the river, and Maggie," she said. She let out a sigh. "I miss home, already."

Huck's jaw tensed and he looked down at his feet. It was then that she noticed he was holding one hand behind his back.

"What do you have, there?" she asked.

He looked nervous, but when he held out the single red rose he'd been hiding, Sarah gasped in surprise.

"I got this for you," he said.

"Huck, it's beautiful." She took the rose and pressed her nose into it. The sweet smell told her that everything was going to be alright.

"About last night," he said. "I'm sorry for the way I acted."

"What came over you?" she asked. "I've never seen you act like that, before."

He shook his head. "I don't know. It's just...I thought things were going to be different when we went off to college. But everything's the same."

"
Nothing's
the same," Sarah said. "We're off in this new place, and sometimes it takes every ounce of my strength just to keep my head screwed on straight."

"That's not what I'm talking about," he said. "I thought when we went off to college, things would be different between us. But they aren't. We're still the same as in high school."

Sarah frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged his shoulders and looked nervous. "I just thought we would be doing different things, but it's all the same."

"Huck, we just got here. We don't even know what all there is to do in the city. There's plenty of time to find out."

He let out a sigh and scratched the back of his head, sharply. "I'm not talking about the city," he said. "I'm talking about
us
."

Sarah's head tilted to the side, confused. "Look, if there's something you're not happy with, then you need to tell me what it is. I can't read your mind, no matter how much I try."

"It's just, we've been dating for over a year, and I figured we would have taken it to the next level by now."

"Taken what to the next level?"

"You know--sex."

Sarah let out a disbelieving, nervous laugh. "That's what this is all about? Sex?"

He shrugged. "I mean, I was fine with us not having sex before, when we were in high school, but always thought that things would change after we graduated. But you still don't want to do it."

Sarah couldn't believe that's what all of this was coming back to. He had never even mentioned it before--how was she supposed to know?

"When did I ever say I don't want to do it?"

"Every time I try to make it happen you freak out about something," he said. "It's so frustrating."

"Huck, it isn't that I don't want to have sex. But, you can't expect me to just spread my legs whenever you feel like it. I want our first time to mean something."

"We've been dating for over a year, doesn't that mean something?"

"Yes, it means the
world to me," she said. "Why do you think I dropped everything to come out here with you?"

"Well, you had to go to college, somewhere. No one made you come to Franklin with me."

Sarah's jaw dropped open in disbelief.

"I think that's the most hurtful thing you've ever said to me, Huck." She shook her head. "I came here to be with you because I love you, because I can't see myself without you." A heavy lump was forming in her throat, and it hurt when she swallowed. "I thought you knew that."

Huck's head sunk down and he looked at the ground between them. He rubbed his face with both hands and let out a frustrated sigh.

"It's just too much," he said. "You act like we're already married or something. Always saying how you just want to be with me, and you can't live without me--"

"Wait," Sarah said, cutting him off. "One second you're saying you want to take our relationship to the next level, and the next you're telling me I'm too clingy? You can't have it both ways."

"I'm eighteen," he growled. "Just because I want to have sex doesn't mean I'm ready to settle down."

"I'm not making you
settle down
, Huck. I just want to show you that I care!"

They stared at each other for a moment, Huck with his hands on his hips. He was standing right in front of her, but Sarah had never felt so far away from him.

"So how do we fix this?" she asked. When he didn't respond, the lump in her throat got even hotter. "Do you even
want
to fix this?" He let out a long sigh and looked back at the ground between them. "Huck, you have to
talk
to me, I can't do this on my own."

"I don't know," he said, sharply.

"You don't know
what
?"

"Anything," he said. "I don't know what we do next."

Sarah wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Just tell me you want to be with me," she said. "Tell me you still love me."

"I just need to clear my head," he said. "I'm confused."

Sarah's knees got wobbly and she had to steady herself on the edge of the fountain. This couldn't really be happening. Not with everything between them. Not like this.

They were both quiet for a long time. Sarah didn't know what to say--how could she make him understand that she would do anything for him? He was her world, and the space between them was ripping her apart.

"There's something else," he said, his voice soft. Sarah wiped away more tears and looked up at him. His eyes were fixed on the water in the fountain, and he was quiet for a long time before he spoke again. "After you left last night, Lilly stopped by to check on us. She got worried when we disappeared from the restaurant without saying anything."

Sarah couldn't believe what he was saying. He'd had another girl in his room after she left?

"What happened, Huck?" she said. Her voice cracked.

He looked down again. "She just wanted to make sure we were alright. We got to talking about you, and everything..." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Huck, look at me," she said. "Look at me and tell me nothing happened. Please."

But he didn't look at her. His head hung forward as he stared at the fountain.

"Did you kiss her?" she said. "Huck,
answer me
. Did you kiss her?"

Finally, he looked up at her. The look in his eye told Sarah everything she needed to know.

"Oh my God," she screamed. "Oh my God, Huck. Did you
sleep
with her? Tell me you didn't sleep with another girl last night, Huck."

This time, his whole body sagged when he looked down, and Sarah felt her world destroyed from the inside out.

"I can't believe you," she screamed at him. "I can't believe
you would do that to me. Say something for yourself. Why would you do this to me?"

She took deep, ragged breaths while Huck remained motionless.

"I fucked up," he said, finally. When he looked back up at her, his face was red and his eyes were wet, too. "I don't know what to say--I fucked up."

Seeing him that upset only made her even angrier.

"You're a real piece of shit, Huckleberry." She threw the red rose at him--it slid off of his chest. "I thought you were different. I can't believe that you would do that to me after everything I've done for you. I would have done
anything
for you."

He shook his head. "I know you would. What can I say? I made a mistake."

"It was more than a
mistake
, Huck."

His shoulders sagged even more, and he took a step forward. "We can figure this out," he said. "We can work through this."

He tried putting his arms around her, but Sarah slapped them away.

"Don't touch me," she screamed. She took a step back and pointed a finger at him. "You don't get to touch me, Huck," she shook her head, "Never again."

Sarah walked backwards away from him. She couldn't stand the sight of him, anymore.

"Where are you going?" Huck said. "Let's talk about this."

Sarah shook her head. "You disgust me."

Sarah spun around and ran away from him as fast as she could. She couldn't be there, anymore. She needed to get as far away. As far away as she possibly could.

Sarah ran all the way back to her dorm. By the time she got there, her lungs were breathing fire and her face was red with sweat and tears. But, she didn't care how she looked. She didn't care what people thought when they saw her.

She didn't care about anything.

When she got off the elevator, she made a mad dash for her room, praying no one tried to stop her. When she got there, she nearly broke her key as she tried to get her door unlocked. She crammed it into the lock, jostling it around while she tried shoving the door open. Finally, the lock clicked open, and she toppled into the room, nearly colliding headlong into the last person she wanted to see right then.

"Hey, watch where you're going," Billie screamed, jumping out of the way.

"Now's not the time," Sarah warned. "I'm not in the mood for your crap."

Sarah ignored the shocked look on Billie's face and marched straight to her bed. She had already thrown out all of her moving boxes, but she could still pack everything she needed with her. She pulled her suitcase out from beneath the bed, and laid it open.

Billie cocked an eyebrow as she watched her from the side of the room, like she was amused by what she was seeing.

"You going on a road trip or something?" she asked.

"I'm done with this place," Sarah said, without looking up. "I'm going back home--back to Green Falls."

"Classes haven't even started yet and you're already packing it in?" Billie said.

"Coming here was a mistake. God, I'm such an idiot."

"I'll agree to that."

Sarah rolled her eyes and did her best to ignore Billie while she crammed as much as she could into the suitcase. It wasn't long before the suitcase was overflowing with clothes. She had no idea how she was going to get the thing closed.

"So, did your tuition check bounce, or something?" Billie asked.

"What?" Sarah said, confused.

"Just trying to figure out why you're packing like someone's chasing you."

"What does it matter to you?" Sarah said. "It's not like we're friends or anything."

"Just making sure there wasn't a bomb threat or anything else I should know about."

Sarah let out a groan. "Don't you have a raver party or something you should be at?"

"I've got a few minutes..." Billie said.
 

Sarah shook her head. The girl was impossibly frustrating.

"Fine--if you must know, I just found out the love of my life is sleeping with someone else. Satisfied?"

"So?"

"What do you mean, so?" Sarah said.

"So, you're just going to turn tail and run because some asshole hurt you?" Billie asked.

"It's not like that, at all," Sarah said.

"No? Then, do tell--what's it like?"

Sarah groaned. "You wouldn't understand."

"Only one way to find out," Billie said.

Sarah flashed her an annoyed look. It was becoming obvious that Billie wasn't going to leave her alone until she knew everything. Why were people so nosey about stuff that was none of their business?

"Fine. You want to know what happened? I made the biggest mistake of my life when I decided to follow some asshole off to college."

Billie looked at her, confused.

"So you fucked up--it's part of life. Welcome to the real world where shit happens."

"This is why I wouldn't tell you--I didn't think you'd understand," Sarah said.

Billie shrugged. "The only thing I don't understand is why you think the solution is to run home to Mommy and Daddy."

"God, why does it even matter? You're never here, anyway. You won't even notice I'm gone." Sarah had taken about as much bullshit as she could tolerate for one day.

"You're right, I might even start using your bed for my clothes," Billie said. "I just thought you were stronger than that, is all."

"Look, I don't know what life is like in your little Party Girl world, but I can't stick around this place knowing Huck is out there sleeping with other women."

"No, you'd rather throw your future away because you're too chicken-shit to deal with it."

Sarah was ready to scream. Was Billie trying to pick a fight, intentionally? Couldn't she just drop it and go do whatever it was she did all day?

"Why do you even care?" Sarah asked. "You don't know me, why does it matter what I do?"

For the first time, Billie's steely exterior softened. She had a sad look in her eyes as she reached into her purse and pulled out something tiny. Sarah gave her a curious look when Billie held the driver's license out to her.

"I care, because I know what it's like when people don't stick up for themselves," she said.

Sarah took the card and looked at it. Then she sunk down onto the edge of her bed as she discovered what Billie had been hiding this whole time. The girl on the card had strawberry blonde hair and looked like she belonged in an Abercrombie commercial. Sarah barely recognized the picture as the same girl standing in front of her right then.

The name printed on the card was "Claudia Webb."

"I don't understand," Sarah said, looking up. "Why did you make up all that stuff when you moved in? Why didn't you just say you were Claudia?"

Billie looked her up and down, uncertain--vulnerable.

"I told you...Claudia died." Billie pointed at the picture. "I'm not that girl, anymore."

Sarah shook her head. "I don't get it. What happened?"

Billie stared at her for a while, and Sarah wasn't sure she was going to answer at all. But then she saw that same steely strength return to her eyes.