Forever and Always (25 page)

He didn't know why he was even bothering. It was probably going to end up being a problem for all of them. They would feel that they ought to do something for him, but there was nothing they could do. It would probably end up being an awkward situation for everyone when they all would have been better off if he'd never said anything. Well, he hadn't said anything yet. Sibyl wouldn't if he asked her not to, but she would feel compelled to tell them after he died. How else could she explain their being included in his will? No matter how difficult things might be now, that would be worse.

He heard footsteps he knew didn't belong to Sibyl or the doctor. Trusty, who'd been asleep next to his bed, got to his feet, a growl low in his throat.

“Be quiet,” Logan told the dog. “If I have the guts to tell them we're brothers, you're going to have to get used to them. I can't have you growling at members of my family.”

My family.
Logan didn't think he'd ever used those words before. They sounded a little alarming. As much as he'd loved his father, he'd always been aware that he'd never been officially adopted, that he lacked the blood bond that everyone else accepted as a natural state of being. Nobody
had
to love him.

But there was an unbreakable bond between siblings. No matter how different, no matter how terrible, they always felt a responsibility to each other. He'd seen that firsthand between his father and his brother. Aaron Lowe had been a drunk, a liar, and a cheat, but Samuel Lowe had never turned his back on his brother no matter now ungrateful or underhanded he was. But they had grown up together. What could Jared and Colby feel for him?

Sibyl was the first to enter the room. “You only have so much time before the children will demand to come up,” she warned him. “Peter can't wait for you and his father to compare stories.”

Colby, who had entered right behind Sibyl, laughed. “He's sure I have better stories than you,” he told Logan. “Ever since you got to town, he's remembered every snippet of conversation he's ever heard about me and been convinced there's a story behind it if I'd just tell him. I would never want any child of mine to know about half the things I did. You have a lot to answer for.”

“If you'd been a perfect son like me,” Jared kidded his brother, “you wouldn't have to be so worried about your past coming to light. By the way, what
are
some of those terrible things you did?”

“You don't need to know. Not even Naomi knows everything.”

“I should hope not. How is a woman to respect a man with a past as black as night?”

As Logan listened to the two men take swipes at each other, he was nearly overcome with envy and a terrible sense of loss. This kind of relationship could have been his if he'd been able to live longer. They hadn't known each other until two years ago, but in that short time—and despite what Jared had claimed—they'd managed to forge a relationship much like that of brothers who'd grown up together. It was painful to see something up close that he knew was beyond his grasp. It was all the harder because it was something he wanted so much.

“You sound like squabbling children,” Sibyl told the brothers. “Even Trusty thinks so.” The dog hadn't relaxed his guard. “If you can stop long enough, Logan wants to talk to you.”

“You've made Naomi terribly curious,” Colby told Logan. “She's convinced you're about to disclose some mysterious secret about your past. Why else would you break your engagement to a woman like Bridgette Lowe?”

“Laurie says it's about money,” Jared said. “Ever since Bridgette came to town, you being a rich member of Chicago society is all anyone wants to talk about.”

“I'll leave you three alone,” Sibyl said, “but don't forget the children are waiting. Peter isn't noted for his patience.”

“Could you tell your dog we're not here to murder you?” Colby said. “He hasn't stopped growling since we got here.”

“Take a seat. He'll relax then.”

“Does he treat Miss Lowe like this?” Jared asked.

“Worse,” Logan said with a chuckle. “It makes her furious.”

“She must love you a lot to have followed you all the way from Chicago,” Colby said. “I'm surprised she hasn't convinced you to go back.”

“There's not much point,” Logan said. “I can die here just as dead as in Chicago.”

That put a damper on the mood, and both men concentrated on settling into two of the several chairs in the room. He'd had so many visitors in the last two days Sibyl had said she was considering putting his bed in the parlor.

“What did you want to talk to us about?” Colby asked.

Logan made a quick decision to start with something he hadn't even thought of until now. “I think you ought to consider combining your bank with Sibyl's. I know why it was started, but Sibyl is nothing like Norman. Besides, the doctor doesn't like being the head of the bank. Even though his son does most of the work, he finds it distracting and thinks it's not good for the town because it perpetuates friction that no long exists. I think having Sibyl and Ethan manage the bank together would be best for everyone.”

“How do you know all of this?” Jared asked.

“The doctor's determined to figure out what's wrong with me so we spend a lot of time together. I get tired of talking about my illness, so I ask him questions. Since Sibyl and her bank are what interests me most, it's what I asked about.”

“Why do you care about that happens with our banks?” Colby wanted to know.

“Sibyl is a very intelligent woman who can manage her bank on her own, but she's caught between her desire to be a success and her dislike of being in competition with her own family. You've got to know that Sibyl will treat her customers fairly. Besides, this town doesn't need two banks.”

“Have you talked to Sibyl about this?” Jared asked.

“No, and I never will if either of you is against it.”

“I'm not against it,” Colby said. “In fact, the same thought had occurred to me, too, but I haven't wanted to say anything just yet.”

“My family's business is already divided between the two banks,” Jared said, “so I wouldn't have any objection.”

“How do you propose to bring this up?” Colby asked.

“Since your wife's family runs the bank and you're its major backer, I think you ought to broach the subject with them. If they're against it, I won't say anything to Sibyl.”

“What makes you think they'll listen to me?”

Logan laughed softly. “I hadn't been here more than one week before I learned everybody listens to you. Sibyl says Norman was jealous. Cassie said he couldn't stand your guts.”

All three men laughed.

“I doubt Ethan will object,” Colby said, “and I know Dr. Kessling will be relieved. He only headed the bank because no one else could have convinced people to turn over their money to a new bank with no experienced staff and limited capital assets. I'll talk with them tonight. I should be able to let you know something by tomorrow.” He started to rise. “I'm sure the children are anxious to come up.”

“I'm not through yet,” Logan said. “I have something else I want to talk about.”

“Is this this going to be a surprise?” Colby asked, an amused glint in his eye.

“I expect it will be.” Logan didn't know how best to say what he had to say, so he just said it. “I was called Elliot Lowe growing up in Chicago, but my father told me my name had been Logan Holstock and that I had two brothers, Jared and Kevin. Our parents had died on the Santa Fe Trail, and we'd been adopted by three different families. I'm your older brother.”

The two men stared at him in stunned silence. Afraid of what they might be thinking, Logan hurried on.

“I didn't come to Cactus Corner by accident. I read an article in the Chicago paper about a man named Jared Smith who'd been born a Holstock. When my doctor told me I had only a few months to live, I decided to find out if that Jared was my brother. Even though a lot of facts seemed to fit, I wasn't sure until I saw you,” he said to Colby.

“Why me?” Colby asked.

“Because you look exactly as I remember my father. Before I got sick and my face swelled up, we looked a lot alike.”

“This can't be right.” Colby looked shell-shocked. “I know my birth name was Kevin, but the odds against us finding each other are enormous. Why should an article about Jared be in the Chicago newspaper?”

“The article implied that Jared had become a marshal so he could recommend the appointment be given to Loomis Drucker, a man he'd served with during the war. Loomis grew up in Illinois just outside of Chicago. He was something of a local boy made good.”

“I knew there was something about you from the first,” Jared said. “I had no idea what it was, but I knew there was something. Why didn't you tell us before now?”

“I wasn't sure you'd want to know,” Logan confessed. “I'm not going to be around much longer. I wouldn't have said anything, but Sibyl convinced me it would have been cruel for you to learn this only after my death. In any case, you only have my word that what I say is true. I could be after your money.”

“What about Bridgette?”

“She could be in on it. You're both rich.”

“Not as rich as you,” Colby pointed out.

“You only have Bridgette's word for that. I could be the drifter I look like and Bridgette my accomplice. I could wiggle into your confidence, somehow gain access to your money, and make off with it.”

Both men looked at him like he was crazy, then burst out laughing simultaneously. “I don't know which story is more fantastic,” Colby said. “I spent half my life hoping to find my brothers. Then after I'd given up, they found me. I find it hard to believe.”

“I don't,” Jared said. “It's no more unbelievable than me finding you.”

“Do you have anything to back up what you say?”

Logan shook his head. “I'm not expecting you to do anything. I hope you'll believe me, but I have no way to prove it. I was taken in by Samuel Lowe. Bridgette was his niece, but he left everything to me. I'm a wealthy man. I plan to leave something to each of you.”

Both men protested, but Logan didn't listen.

“The money won't do me any good, and I have no one else to leave it to.”

“What about Bridgette?”

“I won't forget her, but I intend to make some other bequests.”

“How much money do you have?” Jared asked.

“Quite a lot.”

“I think he must be our brother,” Colby said with a seriousness Logan could tell wasn't genuine. “How much do you plan to leave me? I hope it's a lot. Peter wants to own a ranch as big as the whole territory. He intends to enact every story you've ever told him.”

“Stop fighting against what you want to believe,” Jared told Colby. “We both knew we had an older brother, and I knew his name was Logan—it was only because we thought he'd lived all his life in Chicago that we convinced ourselves to ignore what was staring us in the face all this time. We accepted each other with nothing more than a name to go on. Why can't you accept Logan?”

“Because I'm not sure I can stand to be that happy and heartbroken at the same time,” Colby confessed. “After all these years, to find a brother, only to know I'm going to lose him before I can even get to know him. How can you stand it?”

“Because I'm not thinking of anything but having found him. I have faith Dr. Kessling will come up with something to keep us from losing him.”

“How long have you known?” Colby asked Logan.

“When I looked up into your face that day I stopped the horses.”

“Why didn't you say something then?”

“Like I said, I wasn't sure you'd want to know. Why would you want anything to do with a man in my condition?”

“Being my brother is more important than anything else,” Colby said. “I wouldn't care if you had only one leg and were blind as a bat. For years I dreamed about finding the two of you. I imagined what we'd say to each other, how we'd spend the rest of our lives together.”

“I didn't know.”

“Well, you couldn't,” Colby said, “but that's how I feel. Now before I start crying, I'm going to give you a hug. And if you aren't my brother, you'd better go to your grave without letting me find out, because if I do, the doctor won't get a chance to cure you.”

Logan was just as choked up as Colby so he didn't try to say anything. He submitted willingly to a hug that was more deep-felt and prolonged than he could have dreamed. How could he have known Colby would feel this strongly about finding his brother? The man was a rock everybody looked up to, depended on, went to for advice.

“Don't let him fool you,” Jared said in a voice not entirely clear of emotion. “He's just glad to know the only man who can outshoot him is his relative.”

When Colby drew back from hugging Logan, his eyes were swimming. “You'd better be glad I don't have that rifle now, or I'd shoot you,” he said to Jared.

“If you could see me for the tears.” Jared turned to Logan. “I'm not as emotional as Colby, but I'm just as happy as he is to have finally found you. I hope you can stand another hug.”

“I think I can.”

“We've got a lot of catching up to do, and not a lot of time to do it,” Colby said. “I'm not leaving town until… Damn, I'm not going to deal with that until I have to. I hope you don't mind, but you're going to see more of me than of Peter.”

“Me, too,” Jared said. “Steve has been wanting the chance to prove he can run the ranch as well as I can.”

“I don't want you to change your lives for me,” Logan said.

“Of course we will,” Colby said before Logan could protest further. “After thirty-one years, we're finally together again. What could be more important than that?”

Logan could think of one person, but he didn't think this was a good time to mention it.

Colby peppered Logan with questions about his life in Chicago, threatened to choke him for waiting so long to tell them he was their brother, and then eventually said he had to leave. “I've got to tell Naomi. She'll never forgive me if anyone else knows before she does.”

“Laurie is just as bad,” Jared said, “but I don't want you to think about leaving me any money. Finding you after all these years is the best possible legacy.”

For several minutes after his brothers had left, Logan lay there listening to the mix of voices outside his door. He was relieved when Sibyl entered the room wearing a big smile.

“How did it go?” she asked.

“Okay. I think they were happy.”

“You
think
they were happy,” Sibyl repeated. “Colby's wearing a grin so wide I'm worried it'll split his face. He grabbed me and whirled me around until I was dizzy. Then he bounded down the steps three at a time. I was afraid he'd break his neck. Jared tried to act the mature older brother, but he's just as excited as Colby. Don't be surprised if they're back here tonight with their whole families. Oh my God!” she exclaimed. “Bridgette.”

“She already knows. I want to see a lawyer as soon as possible,” he told Sibyl. “I want to make a will.”

* * *

The lawyer stared at the notes he'd taken. “This will you're asking me to write up is a bit unusual,” he said to Logan. “Are you sure this is what you want to do? I'm not divulging any secrets when I tell you that Miss Bridgette Lowe has told everyone that you're her cousin—that she's your
only
living relative—and that you were engaged before this illness caused you to behave in a manner entirely unlike your former self. I don't know the woman as well as you, but I expect she will challenge this will. I wouldn't like to bet against the possibility that she could be successful in getting it set aside in favor of an earlier will. You do have an earlier will, don't you?”

“No, but there's a secret codicil to my father's will.”

“Who was the beneficiary?”

“Bridgette.”

“Anyone else?”

“No one other than some small bequests to my servants and a few of the men who work for me. They were the same ones I've asked you to put in the new will.”

“So Miss Lowe was essentially the heir to the whole estate?”

“Yes, but she doesn't know that.”

“And what is your reason for setting her aside for people you've known for only a matter of weeks?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“If I'm going to be able to defend this will, I have to know why you changed it. She's likely to claim undue influence because of your illness.”

Logan should have anticipated this, but he was so busy being happy he hadn't wanted to think of anything that would change that. “Colby and Jared are my brothers. We were adopted by different families after our parents died.”

The lawyer was clearly surprised. “What about your other bequests?”

“Sibyl Spencer gave me a job and has taken care of me since I arrived. Cassie and Horace are friends.”

The lawyer didn't appear reassured. “I'll write this up and have it ready for your signature when you're sure this is what you want to do.”

“I'm sure,” Logan said. “More sure than I've ever been.”

* * *

“You've done what?” Bridgette's shriek could probably be heard all the way to the outskirts of town.

“I've made a new will leaving money to my brothers and some people here who need it.” Logan was feeling well enough to sit in a chair. He'd refused to meet Bridgette lying on his back.

“That was my uncle's money, not yours!” she screamed. “You have no right to give a penny of it to anyone but me.”

“I worked with my father all my life,” Logan reminded her. “It's as much my money as his.”

“He wasn't your father. You're not even adopted. You're no blood relation at all.”

Logan had expected Bridgette to be upset, but this surprised him. Her father, not Bridgette, had always been the one to attack him for not being a blood relation. “Since I spent my whole life working with my father to build the company, I was the logical heir. And he did leave you a monthly allowance.” Bridgette had claimed it was too small, but Logan had thought it more than adequate.

Bridgette struggled visibly to gain control of her emotions. It was several moments before she was able to speak. When she did, it was obvious she was barely in control. “I can understand why you might want to leave a small sum to Mrs. Spencer for taking care of you. I can even understand a token bequest for the people you worked with, but I don't understand the amounts. Nor do I understand why you want to leave so much money to men who claim to be your brothers.”

“They didn't make that claim. I did.”

Again, Bridgette struggled to control herself. “I know you wanted to find your brothers, but what proof do you have? Do they have birth certificates or any other records?”

“No, but I don't need anything like that.”

“You're not thinking clearly,” Bridgette said. “Your illness has made you susceptible to outside influences. This is what happens when you don't take your medicine.”

“No one has tried to influence me. The lawyer is the only one who knows anything about the will or what's in it.”

“How can you know that? He's the only lawyer in town, and everybody is related to everyone else. I expect everyone knew what you intended to do ten minutes after the lawyer left.”

“It wouldn't matter if they did. No one influenced what I put in it.”

“You ought to go back to Chicago as soon as you're strong enough to travel. That will give you plenty of time to decide if this is really what you want to do. I'm not thinking just about the money,” Bridgette added. “I'm thinking about you getting well. You need the best medical treatment available, and you can't get it here.”

“James Pittman is reputed to be one of the best doctors in the country. He's already told me there's nothing he can do for me. How would going back to Chicago change that?”

“We can go to New York, Boston, or anywhere else you want. With all the excellent doctors back east, one is sure to know a way to cure you.”

“Dr. Pittman consulted several of his colleagues months ago. He tried some of their suggestions, but nothing worked.”

“Things are always changing. You never know when something new will come along.”

“Nothing is going to come along fast enough for me. We have to accept things as they are.”

“I can't,” Bridgette protested. “I can't accept that you're going to die and will do nothing about it.”

“Everything that can be done
has
been done. All I want to do now is make the most of the time I have left.”

“Then come back to Chicago.”

“My family is here.”

“
I'm your family!
”

The people in Cactus Corner felt more like family than Bridgette. Cassie asked about his health every day. Horace kept an eye on him in case he had an attack. People he didn't know had dropped by the house to ask how he was doing. That didn't even include Sibyl or the children who'd made him part of their everyday lives. In Chicago, he'd go weeks without seeing Bridgette. After he got sick, he hadn't seen her at all. Her father had always considered Logan an interloper and an opportunist and had rarely missed a chance to say so.