Forever and Always (27 page)

“So what do you think we ought to do?” Frank Oliver asked Colby.

“Do you think Naomi ought to tell him about the other soldier?” his wife asked.

“I don't like the idea of hiding things,” Colby said. “In my opinion, you should have told the army what happened to the other soldier. If he deserted after stealing a payroll, the army would have hanged him. I think they would have commended Naomi for shooting a deserter who'd robbed and killed her grandfather. But it's too late to bring it up now. Besides, the major isn't asking about him. He's only interested in Raymond. As long as no one knows anything about him, there's nothing we can say.”

“So we just say we don't know anything?” Mae Oliver asked.

“You don't know anything, do you?” Colby asked.

“No.”

“Then you can't say anything else.”

“But he doesn't believe you. Don't look at me like that,” she said as several heads turned in her direction. “I've told the man I never saw anybody from Spencer's Clearing until we left Missouri, but I haven't said a word against anyone here. You've been like a family to me after my husband was killed. I don't know what I would have done without you.”

Logan marveled that Cassie could tear up without losing a jot of her beauty.

“What has he said to you?” Colby asked.

“There's nothing like a pretty woman to get a man talking, especially when he's a thousand miles from his wife. I didn't like what his being here was doing to everybody, so I decided to find out what I could.”

Every eye was on Cassie, the tension in the room even greater.

“He doesn't care what happened to Raymond Sinclair,” Cassie said, “but it's his job to find out, and he wants to look good. He says he doesn't believe people, but I think he just doesn't want to go back without being able to tell his boss something.”

“We can't tell him anything if we don't know anything,” Mae insisted. “I never left my house that night. I didn't know Grandpa Brown had died until the next day. I didn't learn he'd been shot until Naomi's nightmares caused her to remember.”

“I'm just telling you what I found out,” Cassie said. “I don't know what to do.” She grinned. “That's a job for the men. Aren't they always telling us women to leave everything to them?”

Laughter was able to break some of the tension, but it didn't last long.

“Does the army have any proof that Raymond and the thief were traveling together?” Colby asked.

“Not that I ever heard,” Dr. Kessling said. “The only connection I know of is that they seemed to have disappeared at the same time.”

“I think they were together.”

Everyone turned to Horace in surprise.

“What do you know?” Colby asked.

“Nothing about two men, but Norman Spencer asked me to take two horses and let them loose in separate places as far away as I could ride to and back from in one night. He wouldn't tell me why, but he said the safety of the village depended on it. I wasn't going to do it—I didn't like Norman—but Sibyl's papa said I had to do it, that I'd be the same as a traitor if I didn't.”

“You never told me,” the young man's father said.

“Or me,” his brother added. “I always wondered where you went that night. I didn't believe your story about possum hunting. I wasn't too young to go with you, and you knew it.”

“I was sworn to secrecy,” Horace said.

“So it looks like Raymond was there that night,” Colby said. “Does anybody know anything else?”

“I always thought it was peculiar that Vernon Edwards insisted Grandpa Brown's grave had to be so deep,” Morely Sumner said, “but I never wasted my time asking why to anything he and Norman Spencer came up with.”

“Anything else?” Colby asked. “Even a small detail might be important.”

No one had any information to offer. Logan doubted they would have spoken up if they had. Horace's confirmation that there had been two horses had frightened many of them. They might not know anything about that night, but there was a pervasive fear that something terrible
had
happened.

“If there's nothing more, I say we all go home,” Colby said. “Be as polite and helpful to the major as you can, but you have nothing to tell him, so stop worrying. If anything did happen, the only two people who know about it are dead. There's nothing we can do about that.”

Usually people were slow to leave neighborhood gatherings in a small town like Cactus Corner, but the rooms cleared in a matter of minutes.

“I don't think we helped anybody,” Dr. Kessling said.

“No,” Colby agreed. “Looks like we ended up making them more nervous.”

“Still, I think it was good to clear the air. We've been keeping secrets for too long.”

“I know I don't live here, and I probably have no right to speak,” Logan said, “but there's more to this than we know.”

Everyone turned to him with an attention that wasn't entirely friendly.

“Look at this as an outsider would see it,” he said. “Something mysterious happens in a small community. Two years later, the whole community picks up and moves west. That's bound to arouse suspicion.”

“I asked the same questions,” Colby said, “but Norman said they agreed to move because the countryside had been virtually destroyed by the fighting armies. Most moved because so many families were related. The others came along because they didn't want to be left behind.”

That did seem like a logical explanation, but Logan couldn't rid himself of the feeling that there was something more behind it than the shooting of a deserter.

“You,” Dr. Kessling said, turning to Logan, “are to go to bed and go to sleep immediately. I don't know why Sibyl let you get out of bed.”

“Because I refused to stay upstairs when so much was going on down here. I now have an interest in what happens to this town.”

“Well, if you want to live long enough to find out, you've got to take care of yourself so you can get well.”

When Logan started to get to his feet, his brothers were at his side immediately. “I can walk on my own,” he insisted.

“Probably, but we want to help,” Colby said. “It's the brotherly thing to do.”

Logan couldn't tell whether Colby was serious or making a joke—it seemed a little of both—but he accepted the offer of assistance. He'd gotten so much stronger that even climbing stairs didn't wear him out, but it meant to lot to him that they were eager to help.

“Make sure you tuck him into bed,” the doctor joked.

“That's my job,” Sibyl said with a wink.

She didn't appear quite so upset now, but she was far from her usual cheerful, confident self.

“I'll check on you after everyone has gone,” Sibyl told him before she left the room.

Logan didn't feel tired, but he didn't object. He had a lot to think about.

He didn't really care about what might have happened to Raymond Sinclair. He'd never heard of the man before tonight. If he was a thief and a deserter, he deserved whatever fate had in store for him. He was, however, very worried about the effect of all this on Sibyl. Not even the deaths of her husband and father had affected her so dramatically. It wouldn't do him any good to search for answers when he knew nothing about what had happened, but he couldn't stop himself.

The most logical answer seemed to be that Raymond had fled with the rest of the money and was alive and well somewhere far from Kentucky. The only problem with that was Horace's story about two horses. If Raymond had come to Spencer's Clearing, why would he have left without his horse? Maybe he talked Norman into giving him another horse and hiding his own horse to throw the army off his trail. That would have been even more important after the other soldier had been killed. But what was he doing in Spencer's Clearing in the first place? As a thief and a deserter, he should have been trying to put as much distance between himself and the army as possible. Had the two men gone there with the intention of changing horses, and had the other soldier taken the opportunity to rob Grandpa Brown? Once a thief, why stop when you came upon easy pickings?

He didn't want to clutter up his mind with possible explanations for Raymond Sinclair's disappearance, and he wouldn't have if it weren't obvious that something about that night had Sibyl scared nearly out of her mind. He couldn't allow that to continue. One way or the other, he was going to rid Sibyl of that terrible fear.

She took so long to return that he had started to worry that something had happened. When she entered the room, he could tell something else had happened to upset her.

“Is everything all right?” he asked.

“It's nothing for you to worry about.” When she avoided meeting his gaze, he knew something was seriously wrong. She focused on rearranging some tiny statues on a table and shaking out a doily that had become wrinkled.

Logan walked over to her and took her hands to stop her fiddling needlessly. “Whatever it is, it has upset you. That makes it something for me to worry about.”

She turned to him. “There's nothing you or anyone else can do to change the past.”

“It's not the past that concerns me. It's the future, and right now, you look like you don't want to see tomorrow come.”

Sibyl tried to put on a brave face. Freeing one hand, she moved a picture that didn't need straightening. “You forget I've lived through a wagon trip from Kentucky to the Arizona Territory. There's nothing about tomorrow or the next day that scares me.”

“You've never been anything but truthful with me, so I assume it's something in the past that has you looking as though you'd like to go into your room and hide.”

Sibyl laughed with something of her old spirit. “Do I look that poor-spirited? I should be ashamed of myself.”

“You don't look poor-spirited, but you look worried.” He put his arms around her. “I like it when you're near me. I like it when we hold hands. I can't get enough of looking at you. I love knowing that, as incredible as it seems, you love me. Having you near makes me feel like I'm a part of your life.”

“You are a part of it. A very important part.”

“I love you,” Logan told her. “More than I ever thought possible. There's nothing I wouldn't do to make you happy. I would even have Bridgette kidnapped and sent back to Chicago in a large wooden box.” He was relieved when Sibyl smiled. “That makes it all the more important that I know what has upset you so badly. You have to tell me so I can make sure whatever it is never bothers you again.”

“You can't do that.”

“Why?”

“Because I know what happened to Raymond Sinclair.”

It took Sibyl several moments to gather her thoughts. Though it was difficult, Logan waited in silence.

“My mama and her sisters were known for their looks, but Mama said I was more beautiful than any of them. She said one day a handsome man would come along who would sweep me off my feet, and I would have a wonderful life. My father never paid me much attention. He wanted a son and was angry with Mama for not giving him one, and me for not being one. By the time I was fifteen, I was a silly girl infatuated with her own looks and waiting eagerly for the Prince Charming who would whisk me off to an enchanted world. Can you believe I was ever such a fool?”

Logan gave Sibyl's hands a squeeze. “There's nothing wrong with dreams, no matter how fanciful, if they help us get through the bad times.”

Sibyl returned his gesture. “It made me susceptible when Raymond Sinclair came calling. He was so handsome in his army uniform I was sure he was the man who was meant for me. I fell so deeply in love I was sure no one had ever loved like I did. When Raymond fell in love with me, I was certain this was how it was meant to be. When he said he wanted to marry me, I was delirious with happiness.”

“How old was he?”

“Twenty-five.”

“That's too old for a fifteen-year-old girl.”

“That's what my father said. I don't think he liked Raymond, but he didn't forbid him from seeing me. Mama didn't want me marrying a soldier. She was afraid he'd be killed, and I'd be left a penniless widow. I didn't care about any of that. When Raymond asked me to run away with him, I couldn't wait.”

“He was in the army. That would have been desertion.”

“I couldn't be bothered by a detail like that. Besides, he was sure he'd be pardoned as soon as they knew he'd run away only so he could marry me.”

“He doesn't sound like the kind of man who would make a good husband.”

“That's what my father said when he told Raymond to leave and never to return. He said if he did, he'd shoot him.”

“What happened next?”

“Exactly what you'd expect. What little sense I had went out the window. I cried, I shouted, I would close myself in my room and not speak for days. I was sure my life was ruined and nothing good would happen to me ever again. By the time Raymond returned, I was ready to do anything he wanted.”

Logan didn't know what was coming next, but he knew it wouldn't be good.

“You already know that the men were out hunting, the women were at a sewing bee, and the children were at Pearl Sumner's house. I was home alone because I was still sulking. I couldn't believe it when I answered a knock at the door, and Raymond was standing there. I threw myself into his arms. I knew he'd come to take me away.”

“Had he stolen the army payroll?”

“I didn't know about that then, but I'm not sure it would have stopped me from running away with him if I had known. I thought he was perfect, that he could make anything right. I wanted to pack a few things, but Raymond wanted me to leave the way I was.” Sibyl's gaze dropped to her lap. “I'm not sure how it happened, but our passions got out of hand, and we ended up making love.”

Logan knew the jealousy he was feeling was irrational, but that didn't make it less real. Even greater was his anger that a grown man would take such advantage of a young girl. How could he pretend to love her when he would do something like that? Apparently, Sibyl's father's judgment of Raymond had been correct. “What happened?”

Sibyl looked at him once again. “My father returned from the hunt early, I don't remember why, but he found us in bed. Raymond came to his feet immediately. He told my father that we were going to run away and get married. My father grabbed Raymond's sword that was lying with his uniform and ran it though his body. I was so stunned I couldn't scream. Instead I fainted.”

At last Logan understood the reason for her fear, but he was relieved. However naive and suggestible she may have been at the time, she was in no way responsible for Raymond's death or his theft of the payroll. Later they could decide if, when, or what to tell the major, but right now, he had to make her understand that nothing that happened was her responsibility. “What happened to Raymond's body?”

“I didn't find out until years later. My father hid his body and that of the other soldier in the smokehouse until my grandfather's grave was dug. Then during the night, he and Norman put both men in the grave and covered them. When the soldiers came looking for Raymond, the whole village was in mourning and burying my grandfather. No one had any idea there were two extra bodies in the grave.”

“What happened to you?”

“I went from being half crazy with shock and grief to not caring if I lived or died. I probably wished I would die. My parents were horrified that I'd slept with Raymond and insisted I get married as soon as possible. Right then, I didn't care what happened to me. I probably thought being forced to marry a man I didn't like was just punishment for what I had done. I didn't argue when they told me I was going to marry Norman Spencer. My father was relieved to have me off his hands, and my mother was pleased I was going to have a wealthy husband.”

“Didn't other people think it was strange you were marrying a man you didn't like so abruptly?”

“Several people tried to change my mind, but I wouldn't listen. I really didn't care what happened to me. I might have listened to Naomi, but she was sick.”

“So you married Norman. When?”

“The day after we buried Grandpa Brown.”

Logan had never been in love as a teenager so he couldn't imagine the kind of emotions Sibyl had suffered from. It had taken him years to feel secure in his father's love, so he could imagine how a young girl whose father resented her could have been so desperate for love she would take almost any chance to win it. He could also imagine the shock and desolation she must have felt when her own father killed the man she loved.

“Was Norman ever good to you?”

“He was in the beginning.”

“What caused him to change?”

“My father had urged Norman to get me pregnant as soon as possible. He said it was good for a young wife to have something to occupy her time while her husband was at work. I did get pregnant. Kitty was born nine months later, but from the moment he saw her, Norman was certain he wasn't her father. He never touched me again.”

“What made him so certain? I don't know anything about infants, but don't they all look the same?”

Sibyl laughed. “Only to a man who's never been a father.”

“Still, babies don't look like adults.”

“I don't know how he knew, but he was right. Kitty looks a lot like Raymond. She's going to be a beautiful woman when she grows up.”

So that's why Norman treated his wife and daughter so badly. “Didn't Norman want any children of his own?”

“I thought so at first, but I don't believe Norman had any room in his heart to love anyone but his mother and himself.”

“What happened to the money?”

Sibyl's expression was bleak. “My father gave it to Norman so he would marry me. No man who thought as much of himself as Norman did would marry a ruined woman without sufficient inducement. Norman was already rich, but he could never resist the chance to get more money.”

“So that's where the money in the safe came from.”

“I guess. Now you need to go to bed. You need to rest.”

“Not until I've convinced you that you weren't responsible for what happened to Raymond.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“You didn't make Raymond do any of the things he did. I don't know if he truly loved you, but a responsible man his age would have been willing to wait to marry you, especially since you were so young. There was a war going on. More important, a man of integrity wouldn't have stolen an army payroll. Why did he think he needed so much money?”

“He was going to get back at my father by planting some of it in the house and telling the army where to look for it. I'm sorry to say I didn't try to talk him out of it. It would have been terrible for the whole community.”

“You were fifteen—”

“Sixteen by then.”

“You were sixteen, young, and in love. You had every right to expect Raymond to take care of you instead of putting you and your community in danger. I'm sure if everything hadn't happened so fast, and if your father's objection hadn't been so severe, you would have acted differently.”

It was an effort, but Sibyl smiled. “You're sweet to think so well of me, but I'm not sure it would have made any difference. No matter how much in love I thought I was, I should have had the good sense to tell Raymond we couldn't run away. I had to know it would only lead to trouble.”

“Did you know about the army's rules on desertion?”

“I didn't think of it as desertion. He was coming to marry me. That made everything all right.”

“Still, nothing that happened is your responsibility. The decisions were all made by Raymond and your father. You couldn't have stopped them, and you couldn't have done anything to change the consequences.”

“But what about the major? Should I tell him what happened? I don't want to, but Raymond's father deserves to know what happened to his son.”

Logan couldn't think of a way to bare all the truth that wouldn't have dire consequences for people in Cactus Corner who'd had nothing to do with Raymond's death. “We need to think about this for a while.”

“I wish you wouldn't burden yourself worrying about this,” Sibyl said. “You need to concentrate on getting well.”

“I have to think about it because it would kill me if anything happened to you. I'm thankful to have found my brothers, but you and Kitty are the two most important people in my life. I'm not going to let anything happen to either of you.”

Tears appeared in Sibyl's eyes. “Why couldn't you have been the man to find me when I was fifteen? None of this would have happened, and I wouldn't have wasted so many years.”

“But you wouldn't have Kitty.”

“She's all that made those years bearable. She's so serious. There are times I wonder if she isn't really Norman's daughter.”

“You told me Colby's twins were very serious before they came to live with him. From what you've said, it was Norman's treatment of Kitty that has made her so serious. I expect she could give Peter a run for his money if she wanted.”

Sibyl laughed and went up on her tiptoes to give Logan a kiss—on his lips. “You are the kindest man in the world. Instead of resting so you can get better, you've spent all this time trying to make me feel better.”

“Have I succeeded?”

“Yes, though I hope you're wrong about Kitty being like Peter. I'm too young to have gray hair.”

“You'll be beautiful even then.”

“Are you sure you didn't leave Chicago to escape all the women chasing after you? I've never met a man with such a silver tongue.”

Logan felt warmth spread all through him. “My tongue must have been made of rusted iron because there wasn't a single woman chasing me. You must be the one who caused it to turn to silver. I never have to
think
of things to say to you. They're just there already.”

Sibyl shook her head. “I'm beginning to feel as lightheaded as I did when I was sixteen, and that's not a good thing. I'm going to leave you to get some rest. And I mean sleep. I don't want you lying awake trying to think of what I should tell the major. I'll talk to Colby, and then we'll both talk to you. Among the three of us, maybe we can come up with the right thing to say.” She kissed him once more. “I love you, Logan Holstock. One of these days, when you're well and have hours and hours with nothing to do, I'll tell you all the reasons. Just know that there're too many for me ever to change my mind.”

Logan was beginning to feel a little lightheaded himself. “I feel the same way. And if I don't get well, know that loving you has made it all worthwhile.”

Sibyl's facial muscles tightened. “Then get well. I'll never forgive you if you don't.”

But Logan knew that his future was not in his hands. He didn't want to die, but he'd been given so much in the last two months that he couldn't feel his life had been incomplete.

* * *

Logan walked with purposeful steps, his anger lending steadiness to his step. Major Killoran was back in Cactus Corner. He hadn't attempted to question Sibyl—yet—but he was questioning other people, especially women. Did he somehow think that because they were women, they'd be so awed by his military rank that they'd tell him what he wanted to know? If so, he had a lot to learn about women, especially women strong and brave enough to leave Kentucky to come to a strange and difficult land. Still, Logan wasn't going to wait around for the major to decide what he was going to do next. Logan had every intention that the major's “next” was going to be leaving Cactus Corner as quickly as possible, never to return.

Mae Oliver stepped out of the mercantile just as Logan was passing. Never one to be subtle, she stepped in front of him so he couldn't pass without speaking. “You're looking mighty sour,” she said. “I hope that doesn't mean you're feeling worse.”

Logan had learned that coming to the point right away saved time and aggravation. “The major is back questioning people even though we've told him we don't know anything. I thought it was time we did something about it.”

“If Colby was here, he'd be out on his ear already.”

“I'm sure I'm not as good as Colby, but I'll see what I can do.”

“Nobody's telling him anything because there's nothing to tell.”

“I know that, but he doesn't believe it. I'm here to convince him.”