FOREWORD (33 page)

Yes, we live in a male-dominated culture, and ours is a phallus-worshipping society, and men alone have a cock –

the culturally accepted symbol of superiority. But the fundamental, underlying contradiction to all the above is that most women do not like to see it.

The Greek sculptures were products of a way of thinking that is now twenty-five hundred years old; as recently as your mother’s time, people were still putting fig leaves on statues.

Every day, I hear from saddened or angered men about the averted feminine eye, the hand withdrawn as if from a red-hot coal. I would like to ask women readers: How must it feel to be the gender that has a sexual organ considered so nasty that nobody, not even the woman who says she loves you, wants to look at it?

11

Women with Women

The previous chapter was about catching a glimpse of women naked. The fantasies here go a step further in sexual discovery: finding out that women have a powerful erotic life of their own, that they are secretly so lustful they will even seek satisfaction with their own hand or another woman. Far from making the man feel unnecessary or left out, this vision sharpens his appetite: Women may pretend to be no-sayers to sex; underneath, they are just as horny as he is!

Patriarchal attitudes may reserve to men the right to make the opening moves. The price is guilt. “She’s such a sweet, naive kid. I shouldn’t have talked her into it. Now I’ll have to take care of her.” Another price is a kind of tedium and same-ness – why is it the man who always has to take on the job of initiating sex, and therefore the responsibility for making sure the woman enjoys it, reaches orgasm?

The first two fantasies in this chapter firmly excuse men of all responsibilities: Men aren’t even present. The scenes that are played feature women who are self-starters in sex, who enjoy sex, who themselves make sure that they reach orgasm.

Worries left over from childhood about sexuality and aggression, wherein sex is seen as a violent or degrading act men impose on women, are eased: If women are really like this, sex is not the man’s “fault.” Women do it even if no men are around. What’s more, they don’t just lay there: They are so eager for orgasm they’ll give it to themselves!

Crosby’s and Trenton’s fantasies (below) tell us that there are times when men enjoy the pleasure of being around sex, but without carrying any of the responsibility for it. Who hasn’t felt this hesitation in himself/ herself, at least for a moment, when some new amatory adventure seemed to loom:

“Do I really want to get involved?” In real life, of course, the Nancy Friday

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answer is usually yes. In fantasy, it needn’t be. This doesn’t say that men like Crosby or Trenton are especially fearful or impotent – just that once in a while they’d like to be free of the societal imperative that every man must be ever ready to sexually satisfy every willing woman who comes along.

In the end, the image of women making love to women grips the male imagination because it expresses one of the dominant themes of male fantasy: the sexually insatiable woman.

Women who masturbate, who make love to other women, who use dildos or animals for sex, who not only initiate sexual action but overpower the man and “rape” him –
women
who would not dream of saying no
– release the man from his earliest inhibitions. He need no longer fear making his proposition, need not fear he may not perform well: The sexually enflamed woman in this myth is so close to orgasm right from the start that nothing is going to hold her back.

CROSBY

I am nineteen years old. This fantasy is my favorite. It probably originates from my reading because I have never seen anything like this (unfortunately). The people in it are real, but most of the events are only in my head: Linda is a high school English teacher who is very popular with the students. She is very friendly with everybody; but best of all, she has a fantastic body with huge tits. Quite often her class has a party at someone’s house. Everyone is invited, including Linda. One of these is a swim party at Ellen’s house, and eventually most of the people go home. Linda and another girl, Laurie, help Ellen clean up. Quite exhausted when they finish, they plop down on the sofa; but Ellen suggests that they take a sauna to relax.

As the temperature rises and the sweat runs down their bodies, the suits feel uncomfortable; and at Laurie’s suggestion, they remove them. Linda is almost asleep; but Ellen and Men In Love

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Laurie can’t help but stare at Linda’s beautiful body, especially at her glistening cunt and large, firm breasts. Finally, Ellen asks Linda if she would like a massage. Turning on her stomach, Linda says yes; and the two girls jump beside her, starting their caresses at her back. They switch to her legs, one girl on each, moving upward toward her lovely ass.

When they reach it, Linda turns over, revealing her moist tits and cunt. Unable to contain themselves, Laurie and Ellen move their fingers to her tits, squeezing and fondling them, finally rubbing the nipples. By now, Linda is fully awake and very excited, watching the two pretty girls massage her breasts. Putting her hands on the girls’ heads, she pulls them down until their faces are at her breasts. Together, Laurie and Ellen begin sucking the very erect nipples, still squeezing the masses of flesh; but now each with one hand on her own cunt, working their fingers to a frenzy. Linda pushes Ellen’s head to her own cunt, while also pulling Laurie’s cunt toward her own mouth. Laurie sees Ellen’s cunt unoccupied and awaiting a tongue. The three of them suck and lick each other, building to a fantastic climax, bathed in sweat and steam.

Later, as they shower together, the girls again suck on Linda’s enormous tits, while at the same time fingering her cunt and ass. Finally, in the bedroom, Ellen produces a dildo and a vibrator, and once more the girls bring Linda to a series of unbelievable climaxes, fucking her in the ass with the dildo and rubbing the vibrator around her cunt lips and across her clitoris.

Three people or more in my fantasies are typical. The way I see it, two people can do much more for a third than one can.

TRENTON

I am twenty-seven and have a B.S. in business. I have been happily married for almost four years; and my wife and I Nancy Friday

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have a great life together, especially our sex life. Before marriage, I was a virgin, not because the chance had not passed my way, but because I felt that for me the best thing was to wait for marriage. I had about six to eight partners during this time and we did all but go all the way. I am truly turned on by women of all ages, sizes, and colors. To me it’s not so much a woman’s body that turns me on but a combination of personality and the physical. Women turn me on anywhere from age fourteen to fifty. I have never had any relationship with a woman other than my wife since we wed; however, I would like to. It’s not that I’m not fulfilled, but variety is the spice of life.

The fantasy that I have most often concerns two women together. They are in a room and it is as if I am invisible.

They cannot see me, nor do they know that I am watching.

They start off talking and sipping on a cocktail. The conversation turns to sex. One woman is thirty-seven, about five-seven, slightly overweight but still very pleasing to the eye.

The other is in her late twenties or early thirties, five-two with large tits and beautifully muscular legs. Both are married. They are talking about their own experiences as well as their friends. Dee, the older of the two, is telling Pat about how excited her husband was the first time she shaved off her pubic hairs. Pat said that she had wanted to do that but wasn’t sure of the correct way or how she would look after. Dee said that she had just shaved yesterday and invited Pat to see. Pat was a bit shy but willing. Dee then raised her skirt. She had on a garter belt, nylons, and a pair of white panties. Pat unhooked the garters and proceeded to remove the nylons. All the time, Dee was telling her how her husband loved to nibble and suck her out when she shaved it. Pat was getting very excited by this and began to feel Dee’s soft, smooth legs, caressing them softly. Pat now was on her knees, slowly pulling the white panties from around Dee’s hips. Slowly the smooth soft mound appeared. Dee then moved her fingers to part the lips of her cunt which was now wet with anticipation.

Pat moved closer and watched Dee finger herself and began Men In Love

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to move her fingers over the clit. The smell of sex was in the air and suddenly Pat’s tongue was moving over that beautiful, warm, wet pussy. Dee remained motionless, just resting, laid back on the couch. What seemed like hours later their eyes met and Dee stood up and removed the rest of her clothes.

From there, they went up to the bedroom where Dee undressed Pat and then shaved her pussy. The two then engaged in their new form of lovemaking until they heard Dee’s husband drive up in the car and they both made a dash to get dressed and act as if nothing more than a cocktail get-together had occurred.

There is no counterpart to this chapter in either of my books on women’s sexual fantasies. The image of two men making love often arouses not lust in women but anxiety –

the enemy of sex. The reason lies not in biology but in women’s training.

Women are raised to find their identity in partnership.

Achievement is halved, without nourishment, if she does it alone. And so anything that even remotely threatens to take the man away from her arouses fear: his job, his friends, hobbies, Thursday night out with the bowling team. Trenton (above) makes himself invisible so he can watch two women making love, but the average woman would feel just too left out to invent such a scene for her own enjoyment:
These men
don’t need me!

If a woman did have a fantasy about sharing her bed with more than one man, it would certainly not be a scenario of her watching two men perform with each other. On the contrary, the idea would be controlled in such a way that the men would be placed in rivalry for her. Extending this reasoning beyond fantasy, it is easy to see why women seldom initiate these trios. In real life, how could she control what might happen, what guarantees has she that the men might not form an alliance against her? The possibility of such pain far outweighs any potential pleasure. It’s not worth the risk.

Nancy Friday

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When I was in my early twenties and a man asked if I had ever had sex with another woman, I knew he would love it if I said yes; the implication was, wouldn’t it be fun to repeat the scene with him present? This fitted right in with my understanding then that all men were sexually ravenous.

As I got older – perhaps as the men in my life got older – I wondered, still naively, How was he planning to satisfy two women? A more contemporary question might be – now that so much has been written about the expertise of lesbian love

– Wouldn’t a man resent having to compete with a woman?

But that is a question that would only occur to women. The average man would shrug it aside. Watching two women making love satisfies a desire so primitive, so central to men, that all other considerations are secondary. The risk is worth it.

CLIVE

I am twenty-three and have been married for three years. I love my wife very much, and we share fantasies occasionally.

I find that when I am fucking Jane (my wife), I can enjoy it much more if I know she is imagining being screwed by some other man. Sometimes she’ll talk out loud in her fantasy and tell me that I am better than this other guy and that she would rather screw me. She will not, however, give the other man a specific identity. (He is not anybody we know.) I suspect that this is because she does not like me to fantasize about specific other women. She is particularly jealous of a former girl friend of mine; and once when I mentioned her in a fantasy, she became upset.

I would like to tell you this particular fantasy which I cannot share with my wife. I feel that maybe if I share it with you, I will feel better. I am getting horny thinking about it.

Here it is:

My ex-girl friend, who lives in another town, has come to visit with Jane and me over a weekend. (She and Jane were Men In Love

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friends long before I knew either of them.) I am constantly being excited at seeing Anne (old girl friend) in very skimpy clothing and once even walk into her room and see her with no top on. However, I know that if I make advances, she will tell Jane.

On Saturday, after seeing Anne’s beautiful breasts, I have to go out for about an hour. When I return, Jane tells me that while I was out, she and Anne had started discussing sex and even got so horny that they played with each other a little bit.

She says that she would like to have a threesome with Anne.

She tells me that she will go to the store; and while she is gone, I am to try and seduce Anne. I am successful and am eating Anne’s juicy pussy on Jane’s return. Jane comes into the room and tells me that it’s not nice to screw without her.

She undresses and starts kissing Anne’s breasts. It is not long before Anne comes. Anne swings around and starts eating Jane’s pussy while I am screwing Anne from behind. We all have orgasms and I hold both of these women whom I love while we rest.

I once asked a novelist friend for his description of heaven. “To sit under a tree in summer, with all the women I have ever loved; and none of them are jealous of each other.” Any man who has felt his wife bristle if he even mentions running into an old girl friend on the street will recognize in this a very masculine heaven indeed.

The idea of two women making love seems to many men a step toward this blissful goal. A man may love his wife but, like Clive (above), still have reservoirs of feeling for another.

Not to put too fine a point on it, let’s leave out love, and say he may have the hots for both. He wants to go to bed with them at the same time. In reality, this is not easily accomplished. Jealousy – the serpent in my novelist friend’s heaven

– rarely sleeps. The man who dares suggest the idea of multiple sex to his lover is usually met with tears or anger. In these fantasies it is of the utmost importance to note that the Nancy Friday