Forget Me Not (12 page)

“
Fuck,” I scream and I
look over to Jack, who dropped his hand and is just staring. His
cock looks ready to burst, but Alana is busy between my legs and I
don’t know whom I want more. I enjoy having a guy eat my pussy, but
just like with her fingers, Alana knows just what to do. I come
nearly instantly, my hands pulling at her long, dark hair. I lose
control and I feel bad when I realize I am holding her face down
against my cunt, but she handles it well. After I orgasm, she just
sits up and smiles.

“
Your turn,” she
says.

“
I don’t think I will be
any good,” I say, apologizing before I even start.

“
I’ll walk you through it
if I need to.” She takes my fingers and I begin stroking her pussy.
The lips are wet and warm and Alana moans as I touch her. I slide
my fingers inside and play with her clit just like I play with my
own when I’m masturbating. She pushes hard against my
hand.

“
Yes,” she says and the
affirmation gives me confidence. “Yes, Lily. That’s perfect.” I
move faster and push deeper, wanting to make her come. I don’t even
notice Jack get up until he is behind me. He starts fingering me as
I finger Alana and I get wet again, ready for even more.

“
I want to fuck you while
you eat her pussy,” he says. “Do you want that, Alana?”

“
God, yes. Lily,
please.”

“
C’mon, princess. Spread
your legs for me. Let me come inside.”

I do what he says, wanting to be full
of him. Alana cries out, desperate to come, and I move my head
between her legs. I don’t feel confident at all even in my blow job
skills, so this is terrifying, yet exhilarating. I slip my tongue
inside of her as Jack forces his cock deep into my cunt. I don’t
think I can take all the sensations at once and I start licking
Alana’s pussy while he fucks me from behind. She is moaning and her
hips are bucking toward me. She digs her nails into my shoulders
and Jack pulls on my hair while he fucks me. I hold onto Alana’s
hips, losing myself in her. She comes before I do, but there is
nowhere to go and I stay between her legs while Jack plows me. My
cunt pulls him in to me and I orgasm, screaming into Alana’s pussy.
It’s insane and I collapse when I am done. Jack has not finished,
so I don’t expect him to pull out when I finish.

“
Watch me fuck her,” he
commands.

Alana stands up and I stay lying on
the bed. Jack leads her over to his desk, bending her over the
chair so that she’s facing me. She is spread wide and I watch him
grip her ass as he slides into her. Her face shows just how good he
is; having just had his cock in my own cunt, I know exactly what
she is feeling. I feel like I’d normally be jealous watching
something like this, or at least embarrassed, but instead, I am
just getting horny again. It’s extremely hot watching him fuck her
slowly, his hands hanging on to her hips, her tits bouncing up and
down as he thrusts. I move my fingers down to my pussy and play
with myself while they fuck in front of me. She cries his name and
I sit up so that I can watch the end of his cock move in and out of
her. He’s moving so slowly, drawing out her orgasm, but when she
comes, it is epic. She yells his name and clutches the back of the
chair, her ass rising and falling while he moves faster and
faster.

“
Jack, you’re so fucking
good,” she cries.

He looks up at me and our eyes meet. I
slip three fingers deep inside of myself, and come while he fucks
Alana as he watches me masturbate to orgasm. Somewhere, a voice
reminds me that this is wrong, that I should be in my room thinking
of ways to salvage what I had with Derek, but I don’t care. I
forget what I am doing and just let myself lose control. Alana has
already come and has gone weak while Jack keeps thrusting. I can’t
stand it; my orgasm is good, but it’s not the same as fucking
him.

“
Fuck me again,” I beg. “I
want to be the one to make you come.”

“
Oh, shit,” Jack cries,
and it’s too late. He explodes all over Alana’s back and I push
faster until I finish by myself. They both move back to the bed and
we lie together, our hands and mouths exploring each other lazily.
None of us has the energy to do anything else right away, although
I know we’re not done yet.

“
Happy birthday,
princess,” Jack says.

“
Thank you. Both of
you.”

“
No. Thank
you,”
he
replies.

“
You certainly showed me,”
Alana says. “Are you sure you’ve never been with a
girl?”

“
Never. Although I
wouldn’t mind doing it again.” I slip my hand between her legs and
play with her clit, while she kisses me. “So this is college,” I
say between kisses.

Alana laughs and Jack responds by
shoving himself between us, touching us both. His hands move over
each of our pussies. I know I am supposed to be “finding myself” or
whatever Abby thought would be best. I’m sure this is not what she
meant, but my body likes how Jack is finding me right now. I think
again of Derek, but then I remember that he chose to ditch me, that
he has his girl “friends” at school, and that he is probably doing
the same thing. He’s spending the weekend in a hotel with a bunch
of girls, including Jodie. My anger stirs me and I slide down along
Jack’s body; slipping my mouth over him, I use my rage to bring him
to orgasm. He pushes his cock down my throat and I wait for him to
come. He throbs against my lips but somehow manages to ask me to
stop. I look up, surprised.

“
Ride me, honey,” he says.
“It’s your birthday. It’s all about you.”

Alana starts to masturbate, now that
she’s the one watching, and I straddle Jack. I slide down the
length of him and feel him bury himself inside my cunt. I move
slowly up and down, wanting to make this last. Alana is getting
quite the view of him entering me repeatedly and it turns me on so
much to have her watch. She sits up and kisses me along my neck and
collarbone, moving again to my nipples to tease them with her
tongue. I finger her while I ride Jack, and he moans in total
satisfaction.

“
Lily, you are absolutely
perfect,” he says. I know that he doesn’t mean it, and that he only
thinks it because he’s all the way inside my wet pussy, but it
feels awesome to hear it. He runs his hands up along my spine and,
despite everything, I can’t help but start to fall a little bit for
this wreck of a guy who makes me forget the boyfriend I dreamed of
for years.

Chapter 10

Alana needs to leave early in the
morning, so I walk her out. I’m not sure what sort of expectations
there are after you sleep with a girl. I don’t know if we will be
friends or not; she doesn’t go here, but she and Jack are obviously
close. I wouldn’t mind being her friend, although I suppose it’s a
little awkward considering how we spent the night. When we reach
the lobby, she smiles at me warmly.

“
It was fun,” she says.
“We should do it again sometime.”

I blush, wondering if everyone sitting
around the lobby knows what we’ve done. They don’t even look up,
though, so I guess they probably don’t care.

“
I’d really like that,” I
reply, feeling shy in the light of day.

“
Have Jack be in
touch.”

“
I don’t know if we’re…” I
trail off, not sure what to say. I don’t know if I can have Jack be
in touch, because I don’t know if I can have Jack do anything. Am I
his girlfriend? His lover? His friend? Is he just playing with me,
since I’ve been so willing?

“
Listen, Lily, I am all
for having a good time. And you were
definitely
a good time. But Jack’s
fucked up. He is a decent guy somewhere in there, but he’s not
going to make a decent boyfriend. Don’t fall in love with
him.”

“
I’m not,” I argue,
although I can’t convince myself that I didn’t entertain the notion
of starting something more with him last night. I want to get to
know him better, at the very least, which seems to be somewhat out
of order. Still, when someone makes you feel like Jack has made me
feel, you tend to want to know more about him.

“
You’re not the kind of
girl Jack knows how to handle. He usually goes for people as fucked
up as he is. He doesn’t do relationships. Enjoy him, but don’t
expect anything.”

“
I don’t expect anything,
but maybe he can change?”

“
Sweetie, he and I go way
back. I tried to change him, and it didn’t work. But he is loyal
and he has my back and he would take a bullet for me. I don’t ask
him for anything else.” She leans closer so only I can hear her.
“When he fucks you, he will make you feel like you are the only
girl in the world. But Jack is the only person in his world – and
you need to decide if you can handle that.”

“
I can,” I say although I
don’t feel confident that I mean it.

“
Like I said, he’s the
best friend you can have. And he knows how to have fun. Just let
that be enough with him, okay?” She doesn’t say anything else and
leaves me in the lobby, confused, sad, and a little
hopeless.

When I get back upstairs, Jack is
sitting on his bed, rage contorting his features. It’s the scary
side of him that I could sense existed, but that he hadn’t revealed
to me yet.

“
What happened?” I ask. I
notice he is clutching his cell phone, which he shoves in his
pocket.

“
Nothing.” His face
changes instantly and he smiles. “So, what should we do today?
Wanna go for a ride? It’s nice out and-”

“
Just tell me what
happened.”

“
There are some things you
don’t need to know about me, princess. Nor do you want
to.”

“
You could give me a
chance.”

“
Yeah? You want to hear
about my fucked up life? Are you gonna rescue me?”

“
I can’t even rescue
myself,” I reply.

“
Look, just let me deal
with my own shit. It’s your birthday. What do you want to
do?”

“
I want to get to know
you.”

“
No,” he says, his face
turning stony. “You don’t.” He stands and pulls me to him roughly.
I fight his anger, kissing along his neck and letting my hands work
over his belt and pants until I release him. If he wants to play
this game, we can play. However, I’m going to remind him that it’s
worth taking a chance sometimes. I grip his cock and get him hard,
watching the tension build in his face. Suddenly, he grabs me,
throwing me onto the bed. We are naked in under a minute and I wrap
my legs tight around Jack’s waist. He fucks me like I don’t matter
at all, but I watch whatever demons he is facing disappear. When he
comes, he screams out my name and then he falls on top of me, his
tears spilling onto my neck and chest. I say nothing, just hold him
as he cries. I don’t know what he is dealing with and I can’t
pretend that I am prepared to handle it, but in the last few days,
I’ve enjoyed myself. As Alana said, maybe he’s fucked up, but I
can’t fault him for something out of his control. He helped me
forget, and I try to return the favor.

“
Talk to me,” I plead, but
he says nothing, his sobs hidden in my chest as I hang on to
him.

Eventually, the crying subsides, but
then Jack just acts like nothing happened. He moves his hand back
between my legs, a teasing smile on his lips. He’s happy and the
moment has passed. I want to ask him what bothered him, who was on
the phone, but the haunted look in his eyes and his quick mood
changes scare me. Instead, I lose myself with him again and, after
we have sex one more time, I realize I have spent my entire weekend
like this. It is both shameful and satisfying. I don’t know what
comes over me, but as we lie in bed together, I lean across Jack’s
body and kiss him. He jumps back as if I hit him; the rage is back
and I’m not sure why.

“
What are you doing?” He
is trembling as he asks.

“
I just wanted to kiss
you.”

“
No,” he shakes his head.
“That’s too intimate. Don’t do that.” He grips the sheets with his
hands and his knuckles turn white.

“
We just spent the last
four days fucking and you think a kiss is too intimate?”

“
It’s just sex, princess.
Nothing more.”

Now it’s my turn to be
angry. “I never asked for a relationship, but you could use my
name. And you just freaked out in front of me. Don’t act
like
that
is not
an act of intimacy.”

His eyes go blank and he stares at me.
“Lily, you don’t belong with someone with me.”

“
Maybe you should let me
decide.”

“
Decide what? If I’m only
reasonably fucked up? If my problems are fixable?”

“
I’m not looking for a
boyfriend I need to fix.”

“
I can’t be anyone’s
boyfriend,” he says.

“
I didn’t ask, but if I
wanted that, I wouldn’t expect to have to change you.”

“
Right. Well, I am the
kind of guy girls need to change. Because otherwise, I’m
worthless.”

“
You know what? You don’t
know a thing about me. I don’t want to change you and I don’t even
know what your problems are. But I’ve been happy to
choose
to spend my time
with you, doing all kinds of things that would send my family
members into shock. And I loved every second of it. So you may be
fucked up, but it’s not my responsibility and you need to stop
taking your shit out on me.”