Forget Me Not (2 page)

“
Well, I had a crush on
you before you even had tits,” he mocks me back.

I lean against the wall, pushing my
chest forward. “I have them now,” I tell him.

He moves back to me and gets hard
again. I slip his cock in between my breasts and he moans, closing
his eyes, as I tempt him. He moves up and down between my breasts,
which is somehow as hot for me as it is for him. I think I just
love the idea that he feels this turned on by me. “You certainly
do,” he says.

I know it won’t be long before Kristen
comes back, so I bring my head down to his cock and suck him off,
waiting for the warm load as it slides down my throat. Now that
we’re both satisfied, I get off the bed and dress, his gaze still
on my naked ass as I bend over. If I had any say, Derek and I would
have hours to spend doing exactly what we just did. However, the
hour is almost up.

“
Derek, my roommate will
be back any minute. We are going to have to stop. Besides, you
don’t want to be the one who tells Jon why you aren’t ready.” I
know he’s getting horny again, so I pull my pants on quickly and
throw his shirt at him. We’ve been together ten months and neither
of us has had enough. It’s flattering to know that he still looks
at me the same way. I know I wouldn’t mind having more time with
him, but I would really like to meet my roommate while clothed.
“Get dressed.”

“
You make me insane. How
am I going to wait all week to see you?”

“
Skype me tonight. I’ll
give you something to think about until the weekend,” I tell
him.

“
You should have come to
State, Lily.”

“
I didn’t get straight A’s
and scholarships for nothing.” I say it like I mean it, but
watching him pull his shirt over his head and thinking about having
sex with him do make me doubt my decision a little. I wouldn’t mind
having him accessible at all hours.

By the time Kristen returns, Derek and
I have made my bed and unpacked a few more boxes. My side of the
room has started to look like someone lives in it finally. It’s not
color coordinated or anything, but there are a few pictures up, my
school supplies fill my desk drawers, there are snacks in the bins
by my bed, and it already feels a little more like home.

Kristen knocks, just as she promised.
She sees us both dressed and she comes in, dropping her books onto
her bed.

“
Hey, I’m Kristen,” she
says, pretending our first introduction didn’t occur. I introduce
myself and Derek while she unpacks her books, stacking them in the
school’s standard bookshelves that line the walls. “Are you going
to dinner tonight?” She asks, but I’m not sure if she is inviting
me or not. I was supposed to take part in online discussions all
summer to meet people from my floor and my classes, but I didn’t.
When I wasn’t working, I was with Derek. I’m starting to realize
that this means everyone may already know one another and I’ll be
left out. I wonder if she thinks I’m rude.

“
Um...” I say.

“
Wanna come with me?” She
collapses onto her bed and pulls out her cell phone. “I would love
the company.”

“
Yeah. Derek is leaving
soon. I’d like that.” I’m relieved that she’s friendly and that she
doesn’t seem to mind that I wasn’t more social this
summer.

“
Great. Just let me know
when you’re ready.” She plugs her headphones into her phone and
rolls over so her back is to us.

Derek sits on my bed with me and holds
my hands. “I’m gonna miss you so much,” he says. “I’ve been so
spoiled this summer, spending every day with you.”

“
I know,” I say and lean
into him. His arms wrap around me entirely and I breathe in his
scent. I love how he always smells like a mix of soap and boy. Not
to mention that after we’re together, he smells like me as well.
It’s so intimate and it makes me feel so close to him. There is
something incredibly comforting about Derek, probably because he’s
the first boy I ever really knew. Growing up, he was the only
person, outside of my brother, who even acknowledged me – and now…
Well, he is
definitely
not my brother!

His phone buzzes and he kisses me
deeply after he sees that it’s Jon. “I’ll see you this weekend,” he
says. I walk out to the hall with him and he pushes me against the
wall, kissing me harder. “And tonight we’ll talk
online.”

“
I love you,” I tell him.
He brushes my hair from my face and kisses my forehead.

“
I love you, too, Lily.
Have fun at dinner. I’ll talk to you tonight.”

I watch him go, missing
him before he even turns the corner. When I get back to my room, I
smile when I see that he’s already texted me.
You’re beautiful. I’m so glad you’re mine.
I text him back that I love him and to drive
carefully. I turn my attention to Kristen. She rolls over and pulls
her headphones out.

“
Ready?” She
asks.

“
Yeah.” I’m feeling lonely
and sad without Derek, which is lame and I try not to let it get to
me. I went almost an entire year of high school without him while
he was away at school with my brother. We only saw each other once
a month or so outside of breaks, so I know I am being silly. Still,
it feels suddenly empty without him. I try to cover it, but Kristen
can sense the gnawing sadness.

“
How long have you been
dating?” She asks as we make our way to dinner.

“
Just over ten months.
It’ll be a year right around my birthday.”

“
That’s cute. He obviously
adores you.”

“
Really?”

“
You can’t tell? Damn, I
would kill for a guy like that.”

It makes me so happy to hear her say
that, because I still can’t get over the fact that we are actually
together. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel real. Derek and I don’t have a
ton in common, but we’ve known each other for so long that I feel
like he defines what I look for in a guy. He’s the jock and I’ve
always been the nerd. He’s outgoing and friendly and I’m shy.
Together, though, we seem to work.

“
He’s been my brother’s
best friend our whole lives. I still can’t believe it’s real. I
have wanted him since I was a kid,” I tell Kristen. I instantly
like her and I like how naturally comfortable I am when talking to
her. My best friend Abby is taking a year off from college and
traveling, so I’m starting school completely on my own. In the
short walk, though, college is looking up and I push my sadness
aside. Classes start tomorrow anyway and I will be too busy to miss
Derek.

The cafeteria is crazy when we get
there. I think I am one of the only students who waited to move in
until the last night. Kristen brings me over to the line and I take
a plate of chicken and broccoli pasta. It looks better than most of
what I eat at home; I could certainly eat like this every
night.

“
Don’t get too excited,”
Kristen says. “By Thursday, I’m sure we’ll be eating whatever they
can make out of these leftovers.”

That’s disappointing, but I figure I
should enjoy it while I can and take extra. We go to a table where
there are already two girls and three guys sitting. Kristen must
know them, although they look at me a little funny. It isn’t rude,
but they seem surprised to see me – as if they already know
everyone else on campus. It’s probably just paranoia, but I kick
myself mentally for not listening to all the emails the school sent
suggesting we make use of social networking and the campus message
boards to get to know everyone. I feel like I’m the only freshman
who hasn’t been actively making friends for three
months.

“
Guys, this is Lily. My
roommate.”

One of the guys, a tall, lanky one,
looks me over. “Ah, the elusive roommate. So nice to finally meet
you. I’m Don.”

“
Nice to meet you, too.
Finally,” I echo, although they couldn’t have moved in much earlier
than I did. I’m not sure if he’s being a jerk or just kidding
around.

“
I’m messing with you,” he
says. “It’s been like two days. Glad you survived the move in,
though.”

“
Does anyone not survive
it, Don?” Kristen asks. “You’re an idiot.”

Everyone at the table laughs and I
don’t know why it feels so weird. I wasn’t popular in high school,
but I had friends and was capable of socializing. For some reason,
though, I feel like I am completely out of the loop. Don says it’s
only been two days, but this group acts as if they’ve been friends
since kindergarten. I guess I wasn’t expecting it to be like this –
this sort of closeness after living with people for only a few
days. I have no idea what to expect from college and I’m starting
to feel anxious. What if I don’t belong here?

They go through introductions. The two
girls are Mary and Caitlin. Mary is glaring at me, but Caitlin
seems friendly enough. She already bought all her books, but offers
to go with me between classes tomorrow to get mine. Lyle sits
beside Don. He is dorky, but seems excited to talk to me. I feel
like we could be friends. The last guy is Ethan. He smiles broadly
at me, but stops talking after Mary shoots him a look. I figure out
that he and Mary are dating as she continues to shoot daggers at me
until I stop trying to engage Ethan in conversation.

“
So, Lily, what made you
decide on this illustrious institution?” Don asks.

“
Scholarship,
mostly.”

“
Did you apply anywhere
else?” Caitlin asks.

“
A few places, but I went
where the money was.” I don’t know if I should be ashamed to admit
that, but they all seem to get it.

“
That’s why I almost went
to State,” Lyle says. “Luckily, financial aid came through at the
last minute.”

“
My best friend decided to
go to State,” Mary adds. “She’s worried about maintaining her
grades and losing her scholarship.” The comment is pointed and I
think Mary is trying to challenge me. I don’t worry about that,
though, because academics come easily enough for me. I’m more
worried about having no friends.

“
My brother and boyfriend
go there,” I tell her. She softens as soon as she hears the
word
boyfriend
.
Maybe I can get her on my side after all.

“
It’s not the same school,
but at least you’re close,” she says.

“
We are, and he means
everything to me.” She gets the pointed retort and, when Lyle
changes the subject, Mary’s glare lessens. She’s not friendly
exactly, but she seems a little less bitchy at least.

Dinner is easy and I enjoy the company
of these people even with Mary’s jealousy. It turns out most of us
are majoring in English or history, which means a whole group of
people with similar interests as well as course loads. This helps,
because I feel like being part of something will keep me on track.
Kristen is the only one of us majoring in education. Being around
everyone also lessens my sadness, since I miss Derek so much and I
don’t really know anyone else yet. I hate saying no when they
invite me back to Caitlin’s room, but I have my Skype date with
Derek. Before they head in the other direction, we all agree to
meet for breakfast before classes start tomorrow.

I walk back to the dorm alone. It’s
gotten dark, but it is still warm; I feel heavy when I walk. I
chose to come here for a lot of reasons actually, although I didn’t
say that tonight at dinner. A part of me didn’t want to go to the
same school as my brother and Derek; I wanted to prove I didn’t
need someone else to help me. Now I’m wondering if it was the right
move. My grades were better than they needed to be for State, but I
still would not mind snuggling up next to Derek tonight rather than
chatting with him online before sleeping alone. I tell myself it’s
stupid, since my parents didn’t let us sleep in my bed at home
either. I know this is the best place for me, and that I’ll get a
better education here. I didn’t bust my ass for all of high school
just to go where my boyfriend was. I tell myself that I’m
establishing a future for myself, even if it means Derek and I are
apart. Still, a few couples pass me as I walk and I yearn for him.
It’s hard to think about the future when the present stings this
much.

Derek’s already online
when I get back. I’m surprised at how quickly he signed in and
smile when I see that he has already sent me another text.
I am waiting for you, beautiful.

I change into one of Derek’s t-shirts
that serves as a nightshirt, hoping we will have some privacy when
we talk. I’m horny again already and Kristen won’t be back for a
bit. I want to talk to Derek, but I am also craving his touch.
Although that’s impossible, I’m sure we can come up with something
to ease the ache. I log in and my heart swells at seeing him. Jon
is putting posters on the walls, but Derek is sitting at his
computer. I wish I could reach through the screen and run my
fingers through his messy hair; it looks like he just got out of
the shower and my mind thinks about other things I would do with
him if he were here. I shake the thoughts away and
smile.

“
No decorating for you,” I
ask.

“
Not until after I talk to
you. I have all day tomorrow anyway.”