Forgive Me (11 page)

              I didn’t realize that could feel so damn good.

              “Mm, Lexi,” his whispers before licking the swell of my breast and taking the next nipple into his mouth. My hands find his hair and I pull when he bites down ever so slightly, pulling back with it between his teeth.

              Everything between my legs becomes even more wet and I’m pretty sure if something isn’t done soon, these underwear will be ruined.

              “Tanner, please,” I beg. I don’t even know what I’m begging for. I may as well be a virgin, I’m so inexperienced. I don’t say as much, and I don’t seem to need to, because Tanner has been taking control and doing a damn good job at it.

              He falls to his knees and pushes on my hips until I’m sitting on the edge of his bed. “Lay down,” he mumbles against my skin. I lay down, leaving my feet on the ground. His kisses, licks and nibbles until he is met with my panties, then he slides them down.

              When his tongue tastes between my folds I can’t help but scream out.
Shit!
I’ve never felt anything so- whoa! Oh my god!

              As he keeps going with his tongue, he gradually adds a finger as well and I’m completely mesmerized. I’ve read hundreds if not thousands of romance novels, I’ve sneaked a few peeks at porn out of curiosity, I’ve seen tons of movies, but none of them can explain the euphoria that comes with having someone’s mouth between your legs. Nothing has ever compared to the amount of pleasure I feel in this moment and my body quickly starts to feel light as unknown sensations take over.

              The vibrations of his chuckle bring me back to reality and I loosen the grip of my hands in his hair. I hadn’t even noticed I was grabbing ahold of his locks. Needing something to hold myself in place, I grab the sheets underneath and completely give myself to Tanner.

              This incredible, unexplainable sensation starts in my lower stomach, then tingles spread everyone within. I’ve brought myself to an orgasm before, there is no denying that, but having someone bring you there is a whole different playing field. My body quakes and starts to convulse so sporadically, its all-consuming. My head feels ten times lighter and I feel like I’m having an out of body experience.

              When I’m unsure if my body can take much more, I start screaming out for Tanner to stop, even though at the same time I’m wishing this would never end. My body starts to jerk as he adds pressure and my toes curl inside my heels, which are digging into the carpet below.

              Tanner then stops and stands above me, looking down with desire filled eyes. With a few deep breathes and a clearer mind, I’m ready for more, hoping it’s just as pressuring, maybe even more so.

              He tells me to move back on the bed, and as I do, he reaches down into his jeans, pulling out a foil wrapper. I look down as he applies the condom and my eyes nearly bug out of my head.
Are they really that big? Oh no!

             
Climbing onto the bed, Tanner adjusts us so he fits perfectly between my legs. He places light kisses on the edge of my mouth while his hardened, lubed cock pushes at my entrance. When he stops the kissing, he looks down at my face. The only words I can describe right now is that his eyes and face are filled with adoration towards me. A lust of his own, just for me. Something I’ve never fully experienced. Zander always loved me, and he proved it well, but we were too young that we didn’t take the time to appreciate each other this way. I’ve never been looked at quite like this, and my heart immediately starts to spasm.

              “Are you sure you want this?” he asks softly.

              The only thing I can do is nod my head. Words have completely failed me since this all started, besides a few moans and pants.

              Tanner then moves his hips forward and the sensation I feel between my parted legs is not of pleasure but purely of pain. I bite on my lip to stop myself from screaming in agony.
Did it hurt like this before and I just forgot? Ouch!
Tanner pulls back ever so much, his brows pinching together, then with a little added pressure he pushes his hips forward again.

              “Fuck,” I breath, not meaning to say it.

              Tanner pauses completely and watches my expression closely. “Lexi, I’m sorry, I thought-“

              I stop him before he can say any more. I know he is confused. He knows I’m not a virgin, so of course he only assumes I’ve had sex since. Little does he know how very wrong that is. “I’ve only had sex once.” I really hope it doesn’t ruin the mood.

              His brows lift in complete surprise. “Oh,” he says. There is a long awkward pause and I have an internal debate if I should really be doing this right now or not. Its one of those moments that since I’m here, I may as well finish whats been started, but at the same time, it really hasn’t been started. I’m so tight and he is so large.

              Finally he speaks again. “If this is too much for you, we don’t have to do this.” I watch him swallow and the worry in his eyes.

              I don’t think on it anymore, I just say the first thing that comes to mind. “I want this, Tanner. Please. Just be easy with me.”

              The smile that shines down to me makes me realize that I made the right decision. Well, at least I
think
I did.

              I inhale through my nose and when Tanner pushes himself into me with one hard thrust, I exhale the breath out of my mouth. A ragged, vocal outburst leaves my mouth as well, but I couldn’t begin to describe the noise I made. Somewhere between a pleasuring moan, a painful screech, and a
holy-shit-this-is-happening
squeal.

              Tanner pauses inside me, allowing me to adjust to his size. Then he pushes in more.
More!
I thought he was completely in me, but oh how wrong I was. Once he really is completely inside me, he leans down and starts showering my face in kisses.

              “Is this okay?” he whispers between kisses.

              After a hard swallow, I nod my head and smile the best I can. “Yes.”

              He pulls back and pushes forth again, and I have to focus my attention on the ceiling over his shoulder. Once the pain is manageable and it becomes more pleasuring- not enough so to get me off- I focus my attention on Tanner. He just watches me, his mouth parted, while he pants out pleasuring breaths. So many sensations are running through my body and mind, I’m not able to focus for long.

              “I’m not going to last much longer,” he says in a ragged breath.

              I bite down on my lip and close my eyes, trying my best to focus strictly on the pleasure of the situation, I know without a doubt I’m going to come. “Its okay,” I tell him. And it is. I think I’m ready for this to be done for the first time. Next time, if there is a next time, I’m going to focus solely on the pleasure of the situation, not the pain or the awkwardness.

              Tanner’s hands find my hair and with a small pull, he pushes himself full force inside of me, and as his body shakes, I can hear him slightly grunting in my ear. He releases a long breath, which tingles my neck, then he pulls his head back and watches me contently.

              “I’m sorry I didn’t get you off,” he says. His face actually looks pained and full or regret.

              My hands lay on either cheek and I smile honestly up at him. “That was incredible. All of it.” And it’s the honest to God truth.

              His smile spreads from ear to ear before leaning down and taking my mouth against his once more. When he removes himself from me, he looks down and I watch as his eyes enlarge. I look to where his gaze is to see a lot of blood.
Great, I’m going to be so freaking sore tomorrow!

              “Sorry,” I mutter, incredibly embarrassed. I can feel my cheeks turn to a crimson red.

              He looks up to me and I can’t read his expression. “No, oh no Lexi, please don’t be sorry. Shit, I just didn’t realize…” he pauses and looks back down. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

              Surprising the two of us, I end up giggling. He cocks his head to the side and watches me with an astonished look. “Lets just forget the awkwardness of the situation. I’m in the mood for some bacon and eggs.”

              His smile returns and he slides off the bed. “I have some shorts and tee-shirts in the dresser, put on whatever you want. I’ll get the bed changed and start on some bacon and eggs.”

              I climb off his bed and head over to the dresser, pulling out a large tee-shirt and a pair of his boxers instead of shorts. Not liking to be barefoot, I also grab on a pair of his socks, and once my high heels are finally off I slide the socks on. Once I walk into the bathroom and clean myself up, I put on the clothes before meeting Tanner in the kitchen.

              Not embarrassed one bit about shoveling the food into my mouth, I swallow and tell him how amazing the food is, even with a bit of a moan. He laughs and steals a slice of my bacon and we both relax at the kitchen table.

              He put on some television while he was cooking, and since we can see the TV from the kitchen table, we both have conversation on the commercials about absolutely nothing in particular. Its one of the most relaxing situations I’ve found myself in, in well, a long time.

              When my food is empty, Tanner gets up, grabbing my plate with his and he brings them to the sink. “Want a drink?” he asks.

              I look over and shake my head. “No thanks. I’m surprised I’m not even drunk anymore. I drank way too much tonight.”

              He pauses and looks to be thinking on something. Something unpleasant at that. He then looks at me and bites down on his lip for a moment. “I didn’t, um, take advantage of you did I? I mean, you’re not going to wake in the morning and not remember anything, right?” My heart actually swells at the fact he looks so nervous and unsure of himself. Not many guys would be gentlemen enough to worry about something like that.

              I smile to reassure him. “Tanner, I’ll never regret what just happened. And I’ll absolutely always remember it.” And that, right there, is so incredibly honest that I actually surprise myself a little.

              I watch as relief takes over. “Thank God,” he whispers more to himself. “Well then,” he says with a whole new attitude. “I’m exhausted and I got to work in, oh,” he looks over to the clock, “shit, three hours. So what do you say?” His thumb points back down the hallway towards his room.

              Butterflies take residence in my stomach at the thought of sleeping in his bed with him. Which, of course, is ridiculous considering what just happened. Either way, I’m nervous, but I still smile and nod my head. Standing up, I walk down the hall after Tanner, who turns off lights and electronics on the way to his room.

              Once we’re in there, I slide into one side while he takes the other. He adjusts his alarm clock and turns off his bedside lamp before settling into the bed more. I lay flat on my back, looking up to the ceiling, wondering how I’m supposed to act. Do I lay on my side and cuddle with him? Lay on my opposite side and let him cuddle with me? Do I lay as I am and pretend this is normal? Oh crap, I seriously have no idea!

              Tanner’s hand glides over his shirt, across my stomach, and he gives me a slight pull into him. He is on his side, facing me, I can feel him as his warm breath tickles the side of my neck and ear. “Good night, Lexi,” he whispers.

              I turn my head to face him and smile, even though he can’t really see me. Is this what it feels like to have someone care? Or is this simply a one night stand? Well crap, I didn’t think about that. “Goodnight Tanner,” I whisper back. He lays his lips to mine for a quick moment until he settles even closer to me. His face rests next to my head while I look back up to the ceiling.

              I’m not sure what I just got myself into. I’m not sure I want to know. All I know is that tonight was incredible, and tomorrow is just another day. I may have to dig myself out of another situation, but only time will tell. The only thing I do know for certain is, I need to stop making a mess of things while I’m in town.