Full Measure [Mastering Holly Oaks] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) (10 page)

After she swallowed the pills and waved away James’s attempt to clean her up, they all just stood and watched. Mac was hugging Jay close, and James had his arms around Kelly. Kitten lay still as a statue. She was trying to breathe deeply and not move. When she cracked open her eyes, Mac look at his watch.

“It’s okay, Mac, it usually takes twenty minutes for the sedative to work. I’m getting better already. I just need to lay here and breathe some more.”

“What was that, kitten? You scared the shit out of us, sweetheart.” His tone was tight. He wanted it to come out softer, but he couldn’t help it.

Kitten’s face crumpled up for a minute, and he saw a tear escape. Then she stilled herself again. After a minute she looked back to him. “I know. I’m sorry. It was a panic attack.”

“Can we help you get clean now? Is the medicine helping?” Jay seemed to have relaxed a bit.

“Yes,” she whispered.

Mac brought himself under control. His kitten needed him and Jay. They needed to get her home and tucked into bed. They’d all stay at her apartment tonight so she would be in familiar surroundings.

“James, could you get my car and bring it around to the door? Come on, kitten, let’s get you cleaned up and go home.”

God, she was freaking hot. Was there a problem with the furnace? Maybe she was sick. Kat started kicking at her blankets, trying to free herself from the oppressive heat, when her elbow connected with something hard. All at once the blankets were ripped from the bed, and there was a loud thump followed by a stream of obscenities. What the hell?

Then it started to come together. She was naked in her bed, and Mac’s arm was pinning her down. Her boys were naked in bed with her. Or they had been. Poor Jay was currently wrapped in the blankets crumpled on the floor.

“We’re never sleeping in this fucking bed again. I was kicked all night, and now I think I may have a concussion,” he announced incredulously.

“Sorry, Jay. I didn’t realize you guys were here. I’m not used to sleeping with anyone. And, well, a full-size bed is hardly big enough for two people, much less three.

“Why
are
you guys here? I know I was pretty out of it by the time we got back here last night, but I thought you were going home?” She knew she’d screwed up. They would be furious that she didn’t tell them about her anxiety disorder. She was afraid to look at them. Afraid she’d see in their eyes that they thought she was a head case.

* * * *

Mac couldn’t believe it. She thought that they would drop her off and leave her alone for the night? After all they’d shared? In the condition she was in? What the fuck kind of people had this woman known in her life? Even if they weren’t in a relationship, he would not have left her alone last night. Of course they were here. And they were damn well going to get a few things straight.

“Kitten, look at me.” Jesus, she looked so miserable, like a kicked puppy. He wouldn’t have that, either. He was falling in love with this woman. He was hurt that she hadn’t trusted them with this information, but he knew there was a damn good reason she was reluctant. Someone had put that look on her face before, and it wasn’t them. Someone had taught her to be ashamed of her illness.

“Baby, what exactly happened last night? Why are you on medication?” He scooped her up into his arms so he could offer her his comfort during this conversation. Jay snuggled up on her side and stroked her face as he told her she could tell them anything.

“I had a panic attack. I get them sometimes. It started when I was twenty. At first they thought I was really sick with the flu. I couldn’t keep anything down for days. Then, one night I thought I was having a heart attack. I was getting these shooting pains from my chest and couldn’t catch my breath. It was terrifying. That’s when they finally diagnosed me.

“Apparently I have an anxiety disorder. My mother had it, too. It’s often hereditary. My body makes too much adrenaline and cortisol. Sometimes way too much is released, and my central nervous system goes haywire. That’s when I have a panic attack. I take an anti-anxiety drug daily to help keep them at bay, but it isn’t a guarantee. When I get one, I take a sedative to stop it. Usually I can feel it start. In that case, I can take a smaller dose and it will stop before it gets bad. Last night I didn’t have enough time.”

She was barely loud enough to hear. It was obvious she felt like this was her fault. Why? She couldn’t change her chemical makeup. Was she embarrassed, or was there more going on here?

“Why didn’t you tell us about this, honey?”

“Because I didn’t want to look like a crazy person. Most people think that it’s all in my head. That I just can’t deal with stuff and get too dramatic. They don’t believe that I can’t control it, that there isn’t even always a trigger. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night after a perfectly wonderful week and I’m having one. I hate it. I hate people looking at me like I’m a freak. I didn’t want you to think I’m sick and need to be coddled. I didn’t want you to leave.” Kat’s voice hitched, and she buried her face in Jay’s neck to hide her tears.

“Kitten, listen to me.” Mac forced her to look at him. “We are not leaving because you have a hormone imbalance. Nobody thinks you’re crazy, honey. You’ve only been in town a week, and already you’re practically running the clinic. Crazy people aren’t capable of bossing around men like James and Ryan. They do not maintain control in emergency situations. They definitely do not spend six years of their life working to pay off debt and start over. You are one of the sanest people I know. You’re strong and capable, inquisitive and brave. I will not allow you to hide from us, kitten. Do not color us with the same stroke as your ex-husband, or any other assholes who have made you feel shame. That is not the woman I see.”

Jay turned Kat in his arms. “Honey, here’s the way I see it. You do have an illness. We cannot ignore that any more than you can. It would be no different if you had diabetes. We want to be there for you. Last night was torture for us. We didn’t know what was wrong or how to help. Now that we understand more, we can help control the situation better.

“If we had known, we would have made sure you got your medicine. That you had the space you needed. We would have taken care of you in a calm manner. Instead, everyone was running around in a frenzy, and you had to reassure
us
. That isn’t a stress you need at a time like that. It’s a condition, sweetheart. We will treat it as such and move on. You will let us help you. You don’t have to go through anything alone anymore, kitten. Understand?”

* * * *

Wow, they were serious. They weren’t acting like she was nuts and they should watch out in case she freaked on them. She never actually thought about treating her anxiety like any other health condition. No one had given her the opportunity to look at it that way before. She felt love blooming in her very soul. They truly did care about her. This wasn’t going to scare them off. She wiped her face and couldn’t control her smile.

“You guys really understand, don’t you? I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. That you had to go through that without any warning. I never had anyone accept me like this before. Well, my parents would have, of course. They were wonderful people. But after they died, I felt so alone. I think I’ve felt alone ever since. Even during the good times with my ex. I don’t feel alone anymore.” Shit. Now she was really crying. She had to get this under control.

“Never again, baby,” Mac murmured as he held her close. “But there is still the matter of not telling your Dom something very important.” Uh oh, this could be bad. At least it got her tears to stop.

“Kitten, I should have specifically asked about any medical problems. Because I didn’t, I could have put you in a very dangerous situation. I need to know what to watch out for at all times. As your Dom, however, I need to trust that you will tell me when there
is
something to watch out for.”

“You’re going to spank me, aren’t you?” She really shouldn’t feel turned on by that.

Mac’s smile turned feral. “Jay told you I’m fair. Here’s what I’m going to do. You’ll get five for withholding important information from me. However, since I failed you by neglecting to ask about your medical conditions, you’ll get pleasure with your pain. I own up to my mistakes as well, baby. Are you ready to accept your punishment?”

“Yes, Sir. I really am sorry.” Kat felt terrible. Mac didn’t fail her. She probably would have outright lied if he asked, anyway.

“I know, baby.” Mac soothed her with soft strokes down her back. “Let’s begin. Kitten, face down over my lap. You don’t move.”

Kat’s heart beat a little faster as she draped herself over Mac’s lap. He spread her thighs and lifted his leg a bit to raise her ass farther. She closed her eyes tight and tried to prepare herself to be spanked.

It didn’t start like she imagined. Mac began by rubbing her ass in slow circles. She relaxed into him and breathed a sigh of relief. Just when it started to feel good, he lifted his hand and came down with a sharp smack.

Holy hell!
He was fucking serious here. That was not a kinky pat. Her ass was on fire! She yelped and immediately brought her hands back in protection.
Fuck!

“Jay, it seems our pet has a terrible habit of moving when she shouldn’t. Help her maintain position. I wouldn’t want to have to add swats to this lovely ass.”

Kat had to bite her lip. Calling him an asshole wasn’t likely the best idea in this circumstance. She didn’t feel quite so reserved with Jay. When he knelt in front of her face and brought her arms in front, she glared at him for all she was worth. He smiled and winked at her. He was an asshole, too.

Mac’s hand resumed rubbing her ass, but she wasn’t falling for it now. She wasn’t going to be lulled by his hands this time. Until he dipped lower and cupped her mound. Oh. Well. That might change things considerably.

When he moved his hand back and forth and slid his middle finger through her slick folds to her clit, she almost crossed her eyes in pleasure. She didn’t think a spanking would make her wet, but apparently it was working for her.

After he circled her bud once, he removed his hand. She barely had time to process that information when the second swat landed on her other cheek. “Ouch!” Yup, still hurt like a bitch. She was surprised, though, when the pain quickly morphed into a searing heat that went all the way to her pussy.

Mac just kept up his little routine. Those magical fingers started circling her clit again. She glanced at Jay and noticed his face was flushed. He was breathing heavy and staring at her ass over her head. She lifted her head a little and licked at his nipple. He hissed and gripped her wrists tighter.

“Behave, kitten. You do want to get to the good part, don’t you?” Mac admonished.

“God, yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir.”

“You’re forgiven this time, kitten.” He smacked her twice in quick succession. Then he drove two fingers in her pussy and thrust fast and hard. His thumb was rubbing on her anus, and she thought she might pass out. Nobody had ever touched her there. Surprisingly, it felt really fucking good.

“Last one, baby. Get ready.” Mac’s voice was low and tight. She was definitely ready. She could feel her juices soaking his hand as she rocked into his strokes. She cried out when he withdrew his hand and grunted at the last smack. He hit both cheeks at once this time. The pain felt erotic, and her skin tingled.

Jay released her wrists and lifted her enough to plunge his tongue into her mouth. Mac’s thumb and forefinger started gently pinching and pulling on her clit. She could feel the tension in her body increase. Heat was gathering in her womb. When Mac pressed his thumb down on her bud, she came so hard she saw black spots.

* * * *

“That’s it, baby,” Mac whispered as he gentled her from her climax. He couldn’t wait any longer. He had to take her now. It was time he claimed his sub.

“Slave, get on the bed. On your back, I want your feet at the headboard. You’ve earned a reward for being so patient.” Well, apparently he wouldn’t have to tell Jay twice. His slave practically flew into position. Mac laughed a little. “Glad you’re excited about this, slave, but remember, you’re not to move until I tell you. And you wait for my permission to come. I will warn you, you won’t get that order until we get one more from our pet.”

“Yes, Master.” Jay looked ready for the challenge. Yeah, Mac knew none of them would last long. Kitten may have just come, but he planned to give her an experience she wouldn’t soon forget.

“Kitten, get on top of slave. Straddle his face, and take his cock in your mouth. I want you to suck him down and swallow him dry.”

* * * *

Oh, God. She was so ready for this. She wasn’t very good at oral, but then again, she’d never wanted to do it so much. She was salivating just thinking of tasting Jay. When she looked to where he lay, she just stared. She hadn’t really seen either of them entirely yet. And holy lord, there was a lot to see. Jay was thick and long. She could see a drop of pearly pre-cum ooze from his hole. He was clenching his fists and spreading his legs. His pubic hair was trimmed, and she wanted to nuzzle into him.

Mac stood up and came to the head of the bed. “Go on, kitten. I want to watch you lick his cock. I want to see him push into your mouth.” She looked at the vein that ran up the underside of Jay’s cock. Pressing him flat to his stomach so she could get a good angle, she licked her way up. When she reached the head, she dug her tongue in the hole to get as much of his flavor as she could. Then she sucked just the head into her mouth and rubbed her tongue on his silky flesh. Jay was hissing and moaning. She felt powerful. She was doing this to him.

“Take him as far as you can, baby. Suck him hard. Roll his balls in your palm. You’re going to drive him insane, pet.”

She reached up to cup Jay’s balls and sucked him down. He was huge. Dropping her jaw as much as she could, she took him farther and used her other hand to stroke the rest. When she hollowed out her cheeks and sucked, Jay started to groan. “Master, please! I can’t last long like this. She’s really fucking good at this, damn it. Jesus, her mouth is so little and hot. Fuck…please let me eat her, Master.” Jay was practically begging.