Ghost Time (16 page)

Anyhow, this is where they come, it’s their home away from their homes, and they come every day, talking, not talking, like men who’ve known each other fifty years do, I guess. But sometimes, the way they look out the window, you’d think it was the silver screen. And when you walk in—doesn’t matter if you grew up here, doesn’t matter if you were here yesterday and the day before and every day for the past month—you’ll hear growling in their stares. They’re like the watchdogs of a time past, and they know it’s passed—the Elders know better than anyone that it’s gone, that their time has come and gone, and that’s what makes it all the more valuable, their padded booth at the back, their clear view out the window. It’s one thing that will never change, so they hold on to it for dear life.

Anyhow, I couldn’t bring myself to sit in the same booth where we always sat. I just couldn’t do it, so I sat a few booths away, looking at our booth longingly, with this pang in my chest, like,
Ugh, there’s our booth, where we like to make fun of people who have things like Our Songs
…. Seriously, I caught myself getting all sentimental, but we spent so much together, right there, with nothing in the world between us but that Formica tabletop. Honestly, I was so out of it, I didn’t even think about the fact I’d opened my old notebook to some sketches of Cam’s hands that I’d drawn months ago, and I spread the spiral notebook open. I thought I was in the clear, too, but then my ears started burning, because I knew the Elders must have been talking about Cam, when I walked in, not sure whether or not to keep talking. Then one of them said, You hear the news? Then another one of them said, Hear what? FBI’s involved now, one said, and another Elder said, I’ll be damned, and another one of them said, In that case, you better get in line, and he took a lazy sip of coffee, slurping out loud.

I know because I saw the whole thing in the window’s reflection. My ears were beet red, and then, sure enough, the bell rings above the diner door, and I know who it is, without even looking: it’s Agent Foley. It happened so quickly, I didn’t think to grab Hubble when I heard the bell, and a second later, he was standing over me. I could feel him, so I didn’t look up, and he waited, and I ignored him, until, finally, Foley goes, Hello, Theadora. Would you mind if I joined you? I didn’t look up, because I was too afraid to look him in the eye, and the whole place went quiet. I knew
the Elders were listening, but I told him, I go, Yes. I would mind very much, reaching for my sketchbook. Of course: you’re working, he said, in that annoying pleasant tone that makes me want to stab his hand with a pencil,
ugh
. So what’s he do? He walked straight over to our table in the corner, directly in front of me, then he goes, Wonderful drawing, by the way. Those hands are so
lifelike
, Theadora, he said, sitting down, removing a discarded newspaper from the seat beside him, putting it on the table.

I tried ignoring him, and at the same time, I tried not listening to the old men, but the blood started in again, and I could feel it moving straight for my cheeks. Still, at that moment, trapped there, between two worlds, I couldn’t care less who drove through the net on the highway or who defaced the school flag, and then, looking down at what I’d drawn, realizing my hand hadn’t stopped moving the entire time Foley approached me and walked away, at that very moment, I began outlining and shading the words I’d written,
But what did they do with all those stars?

From the moment she laid eyes on Foley, Sharon, the owner of Silver Top, didn’t trust him. It was so obvious, too, when she walked over, just how stiff she was and how she stood back, saying a dry, curt hello, before she asked what she could get him, holding the plastic menu like a shield over her chest, not even setting it down for him to look at. Sharon wasn’t having anything to do with him.

Coffee, please, he said, and she goes, Anything else? her voice as flat as a board. Just coffee for now, thank you, Foley said, and I could feel him smiling. Then he just sat there, with his hands folded on top of the table—I could see his hands, touching our
table, and it grossed me out. I could feel him watching me, studying me, like he did in the conference room. So I had him in front of me, and behind me, I could feel the Elders staring at him, right through me, and they didn’t like him, either. No, I could feel their stares like a furnace blowing behind me, and sitting there, between them, I felt like I was caught in a cross fire, until Sharon brought Foley his coffee. Then she came over, blocking his view. Fill ’er up, darlin’? she asked, looking at my glass. I shook my head no and looked up, smiling at her, so grateful for her protection, and I practically grabbed her wrist when she stepped away, hearing something drop in the kitchen, leaving me, like a sitting duck.

In all that time, I bet you no one blinked. It was so tense, and when it was clear that neither side was backing down, the old men started talking, like Foley was invisible. They were upping the ante, see, staring right at him, but really, looking right through him, just daring Foley to speak. I knew he knew what they were doing and he wasn’t going to fall for it, but that wasn’t the point. Territory, that’s what you have to understand about people around here, the way they look at the whole world is about territory, and Silver Top belongs to the Elders.

I heard it was clean, too, said one of the old men. It was Del, I think, and they were back to talking about the school flag again, about the missing stars. I hear it looks like a seamstress cut them out, one by one, all fifty stars, but sewn up so there wasn’t one loose thread, he said. What do you make of that? he asked. Dunno, why go to all that trouble? said Frank, who was the tallest and had the highest voice of the bunch. Did you see it? Del
asked. I saw it, Frank said, Everyone’s seen it. School might as well charge tickets, don’t have any money in their budget. Well, there you go, Del said.

I almost jumped out of my skin when my phone rang. I mean, I tried to play it off, because everyone must’ve noticed, it spooked me so bad. The strange thing is—I mean, aside from the fact no one ever calls me, and thinking it’s Cam every time my phone rings—when my phone rang, just then, I felt it in my bowels. Gross, I know, but it just twisted me up and made me so nervous for some reason. And I tried to play it off, checking, but I didn’t know the number, so I ignored it, sighing, like, whatever. So I put my phone away again and acted like I was too busy to care. But Foley was smiling—I could feel it, and to be honest, between the phone call and the vibe he was giving me, I started sweating. My hands got all clammy, and I was afraid I’d smudge both pages of my sketchbook. So I pulled my phone out again, acting like I was texting someone, just to keep my eyes busy, but then my phone rang again. I thought maybe it was the same number, the same person calling back for some reason, but it was a New York number, 212. I don’t know anyone in New York, but I was curious.

So I waited for both voice mails to come through, and then I turned to the window, looking away so Foley couldn’t see my face, listening to the two messages, both from reporters. Can you believe that? Both calls were from reporters; one was a man, and the other was a woman, and they both said they wanted to speak to me. I couldn’t imagine why some missing teenage kid would be big news, seeing as he’s a legal adult, and no one had
any information. I mean, people go missing all the time, right, so I nodded my head, looking at my phone, like,
Really?

Foley knew—I could tell he thought he knew something about the calls or maybe he even knew who was calling. But I just ignored him and turned to look for Sharon, give her the sign. I caught her eye through the short-order window, and she put her hand up, so I left my money on the table and grabbed my books, trying not to look like I was running out. It’s just beginning, you know, Foley said, speaking to me, but loud enough for everyone to hear, and I knew it then. They smell blood, he said, and hearing that word, the Elders stopped talking, and it was like the scene in a movie where there’s the popping and cracking of shotguns and pistols, and everyone’s got their finger on the trigger. I couldn’t see either side, but who needs to see a gun to feel a trigger being pulled?

All I knew was I had to get the hell away from Foley, because if I didn’t, he was going to say something else. So I walked out, and I knew Sharon would stall Foley if he tried to follow me—she always said she’d worked in a diner long enough to know a bad egg when she smelled one. Foley must’ve left cash on the table, because I heard the bell above the door chime twenty seconds after I got outside. Not even thinking about it, I grabbed my phone to call my mom and tell her I’d meet her at her office, but when I heard footsteps behind me, I had this feeling that Foley was about to say my name, and I swear, if I had to hear him call me Theadora one more time, I was going to scream. So I turned my phone off, and just started walking as fast as I could. Then, when I heard a car start, knowing it was him, I bolted.

I don’t know how long I ran or where the hell I was going. I didn’t know that part of town at all; I just kept cutting across people’s back lawns, trying to stay away from the road, dodging a couple of spotted terriers who were looking for a fight. And then, at one point, I was so out of breath, I stopped and hid behind a tree along the dividing line between these two big backyards that must’ve been like two miles from town, at least. There I was, hiding behind a pine tree, my heart and lungs pounding like timpani drums in my ears, trying to remember the last time I ran like that. When I looked up, catching my breath, in the next house over, in this backyard, I saw this blue dome—a tent or something. There were cars parked in the driveway, but I didn’t see anyone moving around inside the house.

At first, I just wanted to get a better look, see what was beneath the blue dome. I knew Cam would’ve been so proud of me, too, sneaking over to take a look, and it hurt for a second, not having him there. Then it felt like the only way to find him, to be close to him, was to touch the thing, like you have to touch home base in a game of tag: it had to be done, that’s all I can say. Still, the whole time, I kept expecting someone to come out and ask me what the hell I was doing in her backyard, but no one did. And then, once I reached the dome, I don’t know what got into me, but I had to get in, because it reminded me so much of the forts I used to play in when I was a kid. Really, what is it about kids and forts? I guess it’s about having a place in the world we can believe is safe, even if the roof is made of a felt blanket with baby blue teddy bears on it, you know?

So I got in. And, then, once I was inside, kneeling down, I
had this wonderful and terrible feeling I was going to get caught. I laid flat on my back, and then I felt the hair on my arms stand on end as I thought,
What if Foley knows where I am?
Because at that moment, it really felt like he might walk straight into these people’s backyard and knock on the walls of their blue fort, and say, Why, hello, Theadora. What are you doing here?

At the time, though, watching the light fade through the dome’s opening, I was safe from Foley. I was in a fort, after all, and nothing bad happens to you in your own fort. Most of all, I just needed to close my eyes for a few minutes, and I didn’t think I’d fall asleep, right there, but I did. I totally conked out, and when I woke up, my hands and feet were numb, I was so cold, and I had no idea where I was or what happened. When I remembered what happened, and I knew I was okay, my next thought was,
Mom. Ohmygod, my mom’s going to kill me.

I felt bad, because I knew my mom must’ve shown up at Silver Top right after I ran off, and that she’d be looking for me, and she’d be worried, but then again, you know what? Join the club, lady. So I fished out my phone and called her, and the first thing she said was, Where the hell are you? But how she said it was,
Where. The hell. Are you?
I go, I’m in a tent in someone’s backyard, and she goes, Are you
drunk
? I go, I wish, and she wasn’t amused. She goes, Get home. Right now. Better yet, she said, tell me where you are and I’ll come get you, changing her mind. Oh, I was going to get it, all right.

I’ll be there soon, I said, and then I just turned off my phone. So I got on my knees, crawling out, getting up. There were lights on in the house, but no one was in the kitchen, so I walked to
the road, in front of the house. I really needed to go home, but I couldn’t. And then I had a thought. I turned my phone back on, ignoring the incoming messages, and I dialed Karen. I didn’t think she’d answer, but she did. She goes, What’s going on, sweetheart? I go, I have a big favor to ask you.

Okay, she said, and I go, I’ll understand if you say no, but I hope you’ll say yes, and she goes, Thea, tell me what the favor is, and we’ll find out. So I took a deep breath, and I said, I was just wondering… and then I had to clear my throat, because I couldn’t say it. Could I sleep in Cam’s room tonight? I asked. She didn’t say anything for a minute, and then she said, Yes. Thank you, I said, able to breathe again. Do you need a ride? she asked, and I said, No, I’ll walk. Well, I’ll be here, she said, and then, as she was about to hang up, I said, Oh, wait, Karen? Karen? And I just caught her.

One other thing? I asked, wincing. Now you’re worrying me, she said. Out with it, and I said, It’s just that, would you call my mom and tell her I’m spending the night at your place? Karen didn’t say anything, and I thought maybe she was angry with me, then she started laughing. I said, What’s so funny? But then I started laughing at her laughing, reaching the street, heading toward town. Then Karen goes, No wonder Cam loves you. I couldn’t help smiling, because, I don’t know, you don’t throw that word around, but at the same time tears came to my eyes, and I thought I was going to start crying again, right in the middle of wherever the hell I was. So I rolled back my eyes, and I said, Karen? Her voice got all soft, and she goes, Yes, darling? And I
go, So you’ll call my mom? I could hear her nodding her head at me, unbelievable. See you soon, she said, hanging up.